njjang

if a woman wants to be a housewife, that does not mean she has to abandon all self-respect just to win the heart of someone who has cheated on her 5 times - that she knows of... & i get that physical violence towards the men was used as some comical plot point, but it was very unsettling anyway. usually i can understand that it's just a TV show, but the reality they are presenting in this drama makes me extremely concerned for those watching & seeing nothing wrong with this show.

it disturbs me that anyone would call this drama "realistic." there is nothing wrong if someone's goal is to be a housewife, but the ideas this drama puts forth about relationships & gender roles are disturbing. this has nothing to do with cultural differences, & everything to do with what is healthy.

i know tons of japanese stuff has incest plotlines, but i died laughing when she's like "isn't it gross that i'm in love with my blood uncle?" & the high school boy she likes is all "NO, HE SOUNDS COOL"

it seems like she confused her feelings about him raising her with romantic feelings. i never read the manga so i dunno how they treat that plot, but the movie dealt with that aspect oddly. yashiro's abusive relationship was also disturbing, & not developed enough.

otherwise i really liked this film!

this drama is realistic. the cinematography is interesting. whoever this director is, he seems to be obsessed with angles that obscure the actor's faces through objects like trees, pojangcha windows, etc. the beginning of this drama was so fresh & different. however, if you're someone who is into "justice" like myself, this is not the drama for you. there is no real satisfaction or resolution. i felt that this drama built up for a long time and the conclusion had no payoff.

personally, i don't watch romance dramas for realism. if i want to see injustice i can see it up close in real life, or watch a drama like "misaeng." the drama isn't bad, but i'm very disappointed.

this couple never seemed like equal partners. it made me really sad that even though uehara grew a bit, regressed, & grew again personally/emotionally... he's still been a HORRIBLE BOYFRIEND this entire show.

obviously cultural aspects come into play with gender roles, but i couldn't help feeling disgusted that nao cooked for him all the time, planned events like his surprise party, etc (even though she would jump to conclusions & was insecure in the relationship) but uehara literally did nothing besides say i love you & buy her a keychain once. he would tell her that she needed to trust him more, but he never SHOWED her why. the only time he cooked for someone else in 2 seasons was when he made food for NATSUME. he had multiple dudes telling him to take care of his girlfriend well or they'd be happy to step in & he was there telling them that he would, & telling her dad he'd take care of her... & it was literally talk. all he ever did was say a few nice words when things got really, really bad.

all i can say is i hope the last scene was indicating a shift in this dynamic with them going on a trip together. it's really sad to me when a drama portrays something this damaging as an ideal romance. like you should have to do everything for a guy & he can make you feel super insecure but you should still love him. when i got to the end i started thinking i'd be fine if they broke up for good & nao was alone lol.

what you're describing sounds like families from the 1950s lmaooo have you even met any modern families where one person stays at home? by your definition people who work from home also have no ability to grow.

the only reason you think it’s a stupid decision is because of your misinformed opinion that people who stay at home must do absolutely nothing.

i’ve never met any housewives as you’ve described…
many of your statements sound incredibly short-sighted to me. so you believe the only way to experience personal growth is through a career? to say that there's "no excuse" for housewives in the 21st century…you realize that child care is so expensive in some places, that it can be more cost-effective for one parent to stay home? or that some people need to care for elderly parents? “house husbands” exist now as well; they were even represented in this drama. if one person has the ability & desire to stay home, i don’t understand how that’s a stupid decision.

@maresoares you make a good point that they're showing the other side of marriage vs. working with her character! i just keep seeing rumors that this drama may be cancelled which is why they don't have # of episodes listed, & i really hope that's not true!

i'm not saying you "shouldn't" be here but that i don't understand why you would choose to watch & comment about a drama when you inherently dislike the main premise based on your personal beliefs.
honestly even if you never stop working, if your husband decides to leave you after 20 or 30 years, you would have difficulties no matter what. that is the risk everyone takes when getting married. plenty of working women end up depending on their families post-divorce, even in the west.
it is an interesting topic. while i understand your thought process & the disadvantages it poses for women after getting married, i don't agree with looking down on "wannabe housewives" in general. even if i wouldn't choose that for myself either.

no one ever said a marriage is equivalent to happiness or a happy home for children. but in asia you're not gonna just have the kids without getting married, that's why it's a necessary step for the goal she wants. you can find the character whiny & immature, she may be a bit of a romantic. i think the goal is for her to learn about the more logical aspects of relationships from ryu while she teaches him the less "realistic" things. hence the unlikely match.
what happens to all the money she earned on her own then? does it disappear the moment she becomes a housewife? do all her skills & abilities disappear the moment she becomes a housewife?
it's fine if you think the drama is wrong, even if i can't understand intolerance against people who choose to live life differently than you would. but i'm not sure why you're even here if you feel that way, because this is literally the point of the plot which has been clearly explained on every english language drama website.

@ceki if you agree with it fundamentally then there's nothing anyone can say that will make you see it differently. however i didn't get that impression from asuka. she didn't say /marriage/ was the key to eternal happiness, but that her greatest happiness was the warm & loving environment her mother created for her family, & that her goal is to recreate that for her future children /after getting married/. i think that is very admirable & not at all naive or immature. it has nothing to do with her not being independent since she has emphasized many times that she enjoys her work & we know that she does a great job. she doesn't want to depend on a husband, she just needs a husband in order to achieve her goal of making a wonderful home for her family. & the fact that she wants to fall in love & get married "naturally" proves that being in a meaningful relationship /does/ matter to her, or she would just go on marriage meetings & get married like people were urging her to!
i can agree that she was too focused on the marriage to see her first boyfriend's unhappiness, but we didn't see anything else in the relationship until that point so i can't really definitively say she was ignoring red flags or if she was totally blindsided. because that still does happen in real life sometimes...

the birth rates started to decrease because of working women, but also because of "herbivore men" who have no interest in relationships with women/getting married. there's a wikipedia page for this word LOL. similar to nanami ryu's personality (he at least is interested in women, but doesn't want the extra effort of getting married!) there are many documentaries about japanese men who say romantic relationships are too much "work" for them. plus they have no time because of the work culture (when asuka & her coworker go to dinner, they mention how it's hard to have personal lives because they spend all their time at work! this is japan's reality.)
that's why i think they're showing positives & negatives of both sides. asuka has a job now (one "con" for the birth rate) but wants to be a housewife ("pro"). people look down on her because many people in japan, men & women, put their careers first now. ryu doesn't want to get married ("con" for the birth rate) but asuka wants to change his mind.
if ryu always knew he didn't want to be married, then i would hate the message of this drama because i don't believe in forcing people to change. however, we were told that ryu wasn't always this way & something happened to him that made him dislike marriage.

i guess i just don't understand what is making you feel like the message is about housewives having more value than a career woman. i think this drama has shown positives & negatives for both sides.

but no one in this drama has said women need to stop work. the main girl just /wants/ to be a housewife & she says many times that people look down on her for wanting that. isn't that the opposite message?

this drama is now available on KBS world's youtube with english subtitles!
https://youtu.be/r5YVAYZJLbQ