Someone said, “I can totally imagine Joss and Gawin in a mafia or office romance…” And just like that—the Vampire Duchess rose from her crypt (read: duvet), sipped her morally ambiguous morning coffee, and said:
“Fine. You want drama? I’ll give you pining, power suits, and enough tension to melt an iced Americano.”
Thus, with one pinky raised and zero chill, she penned:
⸻
Title: “Pride, Prejudice & Payroll” Chapter 1: Of Bite Marks and Business Deductions
The mafia gala was in full swing—strings swelling, blood cocktails flowing, and every guest dripping in secrets and Gucci.
Joss arrived fashionably late, because of course he did. Black suit. No tie. Smolder set to kill. He walked in like he owned the building, the gala, the entire syndicate, and possibly your unresolved issues.
Across the ballroom, Gawin sipped tomato juice from a champagne flute, dressed like a high-functioning emotional crisis in velvet. His eyes met Joss’s—and somewhere, someone dropped a garlic baguette in slow motion.
Joss smirked. “I heard there’d be blood and unresolved tension. How could I resist?”
Gawin stepped in. Close. Closer. Chest-to-chest in front of a marble statue of a vampire holding a Jane Austen novel.
“Touch me again,” Gawin warned, “and I’ll put a stake where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Joss didn’t flinch. “Promise?”
They were suddenly interrupted by Auntie Wan—now dressed in full regency couture—who whispered: “Boys, either kiss or kill each other. I’m not getting any younger.”
The crowd gasped. Not because of the tension, but because Nakan arrived. In white silk. With that smirk again. He looked like a Bond villain and a K-pop vampire had a baby and sent it to boarding school for sarcasm.
Joss protectively stepped in front of Gawin, his hand twitching like he was ready to fight, flirt, or file a hostile acquisition.
“You’re bleeding,” Gawin muttered, pointing to Joss’s lip.
“From what?” Joss asked, dazed.
Gawin smirked, leaning in, whispering: “From biting back all that pride.”
CUT TO: • Tong in a flashback reading Pride and Prejudice, crying over the quote: “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” • Mark in a corner of the same flashback, drinking tomato juice like it’s tea and whispering, “Discretion is the better part of valor.” • Nakan licking a dagger for no reason.
Adding to my oddly specific bucket list: Ride a Thai campus shuttle with no doors, no windows, but deep emotional resonance.
I’ve seen these rickety icons in tons of BLs, but somehow, this one hit different. Maybe it’s the way it became a moment of calm in the chaos. Maybe it’s because someone waited—quietly, patiently—and that silence said everything.
All I know is: I want to hop on, look around, and feel things I didn’t ask to feel. Take my fare and go—my heart’s already on board.
Okay. So let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about the honey.
Not the metaphorical honey. Not “hey, honey~” romantic talk. I mean actual, literal, golden, viscous BEE JUICE.
First of all, Jin pulled out that honey like he was prepping a GQ x Bake Off crossover episode. Was he making toast? No. He was making chaos.
And when they started drizzling it mid-makeout? I sat up like, “Wait, are we still in a BL or did we just hard-cut to a bougie cooking show called ‘Seduce Me With Condiments’??”
Now, some people online were like,
“Omg the carpet!” “My OCD is bleeding!” “They’re wasting food!”
And I’m just sitting here going: “Babes. That wasn’t breakfast. That was biblical.” Jin didn’t pick honey by accident. He could’ve used whipped cream. Nutella. Olive oil. Coconut milk if we’re going full spa-fantasy. But no—he chose honey.
Why? Because it’s sticky. Because it lingers. Because once it’s on you, it stays.
Just like feelings.
Oh? You thought this was just about sex appeal? Please. This is Top Form, darling, not Top Floor Kitchen Nightmares.
Beyoncé turned lemons into lemonade. Jin turned a jar of honey into a slow-drip declaration of devotion. That wasn’t lube. That was emotional symbolism with a high sugar index.
And Akin? He looked like he was rethinking every life choice, except the one that got him honey-drizzled and boyfriend-claimed. And honestly? Relatable.
⸻
Final verdict? Yes, it was messy. Yes, it was extra. Yes, that carpet is DONE.
But honey, so are we—emotionally. And that’s what makes it iconic.
You had me at Queer Jane Austen. xDI always imagined Austen being more for GL because she's very female focused…
Right?! The 1700s were peak extra—ruffles, repression, and emotionally repressed men writing very intense letters.
Honestly, Queer Jane Austen is canon now. She’d absolutely write a vampire BL with hand-flexing, longing stares, and a dramatic faint over a drop of sweat. And we’d eat it up like it was the last blood bag at a masquerade ball.
How to Survive the Haters: A Vampire-Approved Guide
1. Keep It Sassy, Not Slash-y
Don’t sink your fangs into people—sink them into points. Be like Mark in episode 3: brooding, intense, but never tacky. Instead of:
“You clearly don’t understand this show.” Try: “Some of us came for emotional repression and sweat-scented yearning, and we’re being FED.”
⸻
2. Humor = Holy Garlic
When in doubt, go full Auntie Wan energy: sly, sweet, and secretly packing a verbal stake. If someone says “This is boring,” respond with:
“I didn’t come for action—I came for longing glances, accidental arousal, and golden bodily fluids. And on that front? Michelin star.”
⸻
3. Don’t Engage with Nakan Energy
If a commenter’s giving villain monologue vibes, don’t give them screen time. Channel your inner Mark and jump out the window—metaphorically. Just block, mute, or hit ’scroll’ like you’re dodging drama at a vampire gala.
⸻
4. Your Taste Is Valid. Period.
Tong didn’t need validation to bring ham and tuna sandwiches to make friends. You don’t need it for loving a soft, awkward, sweat-powered slow-burn.
You’re not here to win debates. You’re here for tomato-juice-fueled healing and a vampire who sniffs laundry with conviction.
⸻
5. Block with Elegance
Blocking someone isn’t drama—it’s Tong putting post-its over the vampire portrait eyes. Out of sight, out of mind, and way cuter.
⸻
Bonus Comebacks (For Emergency Use Only): • “Sorry you came for Buffy but got Austen with fangs—some of us call that a win.” • “If emotional foreplay and soft boys with deadly blood aren’t for you, the remote’s right there, boo.” • “This isn’t Twilight. This is Sweatlight. And we’re thriving.”
⸻
Remember: You’re not here to convert haters. You’re here to worship tomato juice, post thirst traps for Joss’s arms, and maybe cry once an episode. In this fandom? That’s called self-care.
Now go forth, block with grace, and may your bodily fluids always be plot-relevant.
Girl you just didn't merge my favorite romance novel and MGB into oneI love you 😍😍😍
Okay but you might be onto something—Jane Austen absolutely would’ve ditched straight courtship if she saw two men locking eyes over a blood-stained juice box.
And honestly? If the director got divine gay Austen inspiration? I support that holy vision 100%.
Girl you just didn't merge my favorite romance novel and MGB into oneI love you 😍😍😍
Haha not you dragging all of LA except me—flattered, honestly!
Don’t worry, I’ll be your judgment buffer and emotional support queer. Jane Austen would absolutely raise a teacup to our erotic reinterpretation with vampires and juice boxes.
Angsty and my personal favourite place for any couple. I'm especially enjoying watching Hem lose himself. Yay!…
Totally feel you! There’s something deliciously satisfying about watching a stoic forest ranger slowly unravel in the presence of one determined, glitter-souled city boy. Hem losing his emotional compass one boiled egg at a time? Iconic. And setting it all against nature’s backdrop? Peak angsty romance. Nothing like fresh air and unresolved feelings to make the heart grow fonder!
Girl you just didn't merge my favorite romance novel and MGB into oneI love you 😍😍😍
Girl, I’m in LA—land of overpriced smoothies and spontaneous wildfires. Come through! We’ll recreate the library scene, argue over book vs. movie quotes, and dramatically squeeze a tomato juice box every time someone says “bewitched.”
Oh sweetheart, I hear you—and you’re not alone.Late-night thoughts have a way of magnifying everything, especially…
Oh love, I feel you deeply. It’s wild how the things that didn’t exist when we needed them most now show up—sometimes soft, sometimes silly, sometimes exactly right. And when people mock it, it can sting in a way that’s hard to explain. Because it’s not just about the show—it’s about what it represents to us.
MGB might not be everyone’s flavor, but for some of us, it’s the first time we’ve seen something tender, goofy, queer, and unexpectedly healing. You don’t have to laugh off what matters to you. You’re allowed to protect it. You’re allowed to feel. And you’re absolutely not alone.
Girl! .. I'm in stitches 🤣🤣🤣🤣! " You have bewitched me, body and bodily fluids" 🤣🤣🤣🤣ngl…
RIGHT?! At this point, Nakan’s smirk deserves its own villain origin story and IMDb credit.
He’s not just a villain—he’s the villain, with a smirk so loud it could spoil the plot without subtitles.
Honestly, if Mr. Wickham had Nakan’s silk shirts and dental-grade smugness, Lizzy would’ve fainted before the scandal.
And Mark? He’s Darcy with better brows, darker trauma, and a towel-sniffing kink. We’ve evolved, girlll. We’re in the Austen Vampire Cinematic Universe now.
Girl you just didn't merge my favorite romance novel and MGB into oneI love you 😍😍😍
Guilty as charged, babe!! I saw Pride, I saw Pout, I saw a vampire with emotional damage—and my brain said: “It’s giving Austen, but with bloodlust and better lighting.”
We’re now officially in our Regency Vampire Era, and I’m never going back. Love you more, Miss Bennet of Bangkok!
Haha, this makes a good fan fic🤭👌🏻Tong like Lizzy to Mark /Mr. Darcy: I don't trust U, U can't be my…
You’ve cracked the Austen-BL multiverse wide open!!
Tong absolutely gives “I don’t trust you, you emotionally constipated vampire”—cut to him sniffing Mark’s shampoo in episode 5. And YES to the portrait! The oil painting staring down at him like, “I know your heart before you do, peasant.”
Mark’s estate? Tong walked in, saw the tribute room and 12,000 thread count sheets, and said: “I could not have been more surprised by the house, had it been built of garlic bread.”
This fanfic writes itself! Should we title it Pride, Prejudice & Plasma?
I came for the cavities. I stayed for the emotional whiplash and pastel sweater supremacy.
This episode is giving: • Tender eye contact so intense it should come with a dental warning • A male lead who whispers “emotional support” through subtle flexes and soft chaos
Somehow, a dental chair has become the most romantic place on Earth. I’m questioning everything. My dentist better start projecting stars on the ceiling or I’m switching clinics immediately ✨
Let’s just say… I didn’t expect dental drama to make me feel this emotionally moisturized. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to book a dental appointment I absolutely don’t need. 🪥
What if Jane Austen wrote My Golden Blood? A tragicomedy in five acts, featuring sweat, longing, and one dangerously crushed tomato juice box.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hot vampire in possession of a tragic backstory must be in want of a pouty orphan with emotional damage.”
—
Mr. Mark Darcy to Mr. Tong Bennet: “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My reason is overruled by your scent. By this hallway, this shirt, this laundry basket—you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire, love, and would absolutely sniff you.”
—
Tong (who has never asked for this): “Sir, I am not a tomato juice box to be squeezed upon your whims.” “But I am flattered. Slightly.”
—
Professor Wickham (aka Nakan): Tall, broody, speaks in unnecessary English, gives dark academia villain energy. Would definitely steal your blood and your boyfriend, but politely.
—
Miss Wan (Lady Catherine de Bourgh energy): Says she’s just a flower shop owner. Secretly orchestrating the entire plot from behind a vase of peonies and a bottle of vampire-grade lube.
—
The Ball Scene? Replaced by basketball. Darcy—sorry, Mark—gets elbowed. Tong has a moral awakening and a homoerotic flashback.
—
Chemistry? Not the science kind. The “accidentally touched hands while grabbing a garlic baguette” kind.
—
In conclusion: If Jane Austen were alive today, she’d absolutely write Pride and Pheromones. And you know what? We’d be on episode 5, sipping blood-red cocktails, and screaming: “You have bewitched me, body and bodily fluids.”
32 
38 
3 
1 
6 
3 
1 
8 
1 
4 
3 
1 
4 
23 
And just like that—the Vampire Duchess rose from her crypt (read: duvet), sipped her morally ambiguous morning coffee, and said:
“Fine. You want drama? I’ll give you pining, power suits, and enough tension to melt an iced Americano.”
Thus, with one pinky raised and zero chill, she penned:
⸻
Title: “Pride, Prejudice & Payroll”
Chapter 1: Of Bite Marks and Business Deductions
The mafia gala was in full swing—strings swelling, blood cocktails flowing, and every guest dripping in secrets and Gucci.
Joss arrived fashionably late, because of course he did. Black suit. No tie. Smolder set to kill. He walked in like he owned the building, the gala, the entire syndicate, and possibly your unresolved issues.
Across the ballroom, Gawin sipped tomato juice from a champagne flute, dressed like a high-functioning emotional crisis in velvet. His eyes met Joss’s—and somewhere, someone dropped a garlic baguette in slow motion.
“You came,” Gawin said, voice low, tone hostile, lips dangerously pouty.
Joss smirked. “I heard there’d be blood and unresolved tension. How could I resist?”
Gawin stepped in. Close. Closer. Chest-to-chest in front of a marble statue of a vampire holding a Jane Austen novel.
“Touch me again,” Gawin warned, “and I’ll put a stake where the sun doesn’t shine.”
Joss didn’t flinch. “Promise?”
They were suddenly interrupted by Auntie Wan—now dressed in full regency couture—who whispered:
“Boys, either kiss or kill each other. I’m not getting any younger.”
The crowd gasped. Not because of the tension, but because Nakan arrived. In white silk. With that smirk again.
He looked like a Bond villain and a K-pop vampire had a baby and sent it to boarding school for sarcasm.
Joss protectively stepped in front of Gawin, his hand twitching like he was ready to fight, flirt, or file a hostile acquisition.
“You’re bleeding,” Gawin muttered, pointing to Joss’s lip.
“From what?” Joss asked, dazed.
Gawin smirked, leaning in, whispering:
“From biting back all that pride.”
CUT TO:
• Tong in a flashback reading Pride and Prejudice, crying over the quote: “You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
• Mark in a corner of the same flashback, drinking tomato juice like it’s tea and whispering, “Discretion is the better part of valor.”
• Nakan licking a dagger for no reason.
Ride a Thai campus shuttle with no doors, no windows, but deep emotional resonance.
I’ve seen these rickety icons in tons of BLs, but somehow, this one hit different.
Maybe it’s the way it became a moment of calm in the chaos.
Maybe it’s because someone waited—quietly, patiently—and that silence said everything.
All I know is:
I want to hop on, look around, and feel things I didn’t ask to feel.
Take my fare and go—my heart’s already on board.
Okay.
So let’s talk about it.
Let’s talk about the honey.
Not the metaphorical honey.
Not “hey, honey~” romantic talk.
I mean actual, literal, golden, viscous BEE JUICE.
First of all, Jin pulled out that honey like he was prepping a GQ x Bake Off crossover episode.
Was he making toast? No.
He was making chaos.
And when they started drizzling it mid-makeout? I sat up like, “Wait, are we still in a BL or did we just hard-cut to a bougie cooking show called ‘Seduce Me With Condiments’??”
Now, some people online were like,
“Omg the carpet!”
“My OCD is bleeding!”
“They’re wasting food!”
And I’m just sitting here going:
“Babes. That wasn’t breakfast. That was biblical.”
Jin didn’t pick honey by accident. He could’ve used whipped cream. Nutella. Olive oil. Coconut milk if we’re going full spa-fantasy.
But no—he chose honey.
Why? Because it’s sticky.
Because it lingers.
Because once it’s on you, it stays.
Just like feelings.
Oh? You thought this was just about sex appeal? Please.
This is Top Form, darling, not Top Floor Kitchen Nightmares.
Beyoncé turned lemons into lemonade.
Jin turned a jar of honey into a slow-drip declaration of devotion.
That wasn’t lube. That was emotional symbolism with a high sugar index.
And Akin? He looked like he was rethinking every life choice, except the one that got him honey-drizzled and boyfriend-claimed.
And honestly? Relatable.
⸻
Final verdict?
Yes, it was messy.
Yes, it was extra.
Yes, that carpet is DONE.
But honey, so are we—emotionally.
And that’s what makes it iconic.
Long live the Bee Scene.
Honestly, Queer Jane Austen is canon now. She’d absolutely write a vampire BL with hand-flexing, longing stares, and a dramatic faint over a drop of sweat. And we’d eat it up like it was the last blood bag at a masquerade ball.
1. Keep It Sassy, Not Slash-y
Don’t sink your fangs into people—sink them into points. Be like Mark in episode 3: brooding, intense, but never tacky.
Instead of:
“You clearly don’t understand this show.”
Try:
“Some of us came for emotional repression and sweat-scented yearning, and we’re being FED.”
⸻
2. Humor = Holy Garlic
When in doubt, go full Auntie Wan energy: sly, sweet, and secretly packing a verbal stake.
If someone says “This is boring,” respond with:
“I didn’t come for action—I came for longing glances, accidental arousal, and golden bodily fluids. And on that front? Michelin star.”
⸻
3. Don’t Engage with Nakan Energy
If a commenter’s giving villain monologue vibes, don’t give them screen time. Channel your inner Mark and jump out the window—metaphorically.
Just block, mute, or hit ’scroll’ like you’re dodging drama at a vampire gala.
⸻
4. Your Taste Is Valid. Period.
Tong didn’t need validation to bring ham and tuna sandwiches to make friends.
You don’t need it for loving a soft, awkward, sweat-powered slow-burn.
You’re not here to win debates. You’re here for tomato-juice-fueled healing and a vampire who sniffs laundry with conviction.
⸻
5. Block with Elegance
Blocking someone isn’t drama—it’s Tong putting post-its over the vampire portrait eyes.
Out of sight, out of mind, and way cuter.
⸻
Bonus Comebacks (For Emergency Use Only):
• “Sorry you came for Buffy but got Austen with fangs—some of us call that a win.”
• “If emotional foreplay and soft boys with deadly blood aren’t for you, the remote’s right there, boo.”
• “This isn’t Twilight. This is Sweatlight. And we’re thriving.”
⸻
Remember: You’re not here to convert haters. You’re here to worship tomato juice, post thirst traps for Joss’s arms, and maybe cry once an episode.
In this fandom? That’s called self-care.
Now go forth, block with grace, and may your bodily fluids always be plot-relevant.
I’m all for showcasing my social finesse, but babe, I don’t collect red flags—I return them to sender.
And honestly? If the director got divine gay Austen inspiration? I support that holy vision 100%.
Don’t worry, I’ll be your judgment buffer and emotional support queer. Jane Austen would absolutely raise a teacup to our erotic reinterpretation with vampires and juice boxes.
Come through! We’ll recreate the library scene, argue over book vs. movie quotes, and dramatically squeeze a tomato juice box every time someone says “bewitched.”
Jane Austen would live for the chaos.
We came for thirst, chaos, and unexpected laundry-based romance—and we’re being FED!
You say “I love you,” I say “new episode drops Wednesday.”
It’s our love language now.
The end… until the next unhinged comment about bodily fluids and vampire trauma.
Stay tuned!
MGB might not be everyone’s flavor, but for some of us, it’s the first time we’ve seen something tender, goofy, queer, and unexpectedly healing. You don’t have to laugh off what matters to you. You’re allowed to protect it. You’re allowed to feel. And you’re absolutely not alone.
He’s not just a villain—he’s the villain, with a smirk so loud it could spoil the plot without subtitles.
Honestly, if Mr. Wickham had Nakan’s silk shirts and dental-grade smugness, Lizzy would’ve fainted before the scandal.
And Mark? He’s Darcy with better brows, darker trauma, and a towel-sniffing kink.
We’ve evolved, girlll. We’re in the Austen Vampire Cinematic Universe now.
We’re now officially in our Regency Vampire Era, and I’m never going back.
Love you more, Miss Bennet of Bangkok!
Tong absolutely gives “I don’t trust you, you emotionally constipated vampire”—cut to him sniffing Mark’s shampoo in episode 5.
And YES to the portrait! The oil painting staring down at him like, “I know your heart before you do, peasant.”
Mark’s estate? Tong walked in, saw the tribute room and 12,000 thread count sheets, and said:
“I could not have been more surprised by the house, had it been built of garlic bread.”
This fanfic writes itself! Should we title it Pride, Prejudice & Plasma?
This episode is giving:
• Tender eye contact so intense it should come with a dental warning
• A male lead who whispers “emotional support” through subtle flexes and soft chaos
Somehow, a dental chair has become the most romantic place on Earth. I’m questioning everything.
My dentist better start projecting stars on the ceiling or I’m switching clinics immediately ✨
Let’s just say… I didn’t expect dental drama to make me feel this emotionally moisturized.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to book a dental appointment I absolutely don’t need. 🪥
A tragicomedy in five acts, featuring sweat, longing, and one dangerously crushed tomato juice box.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a hot vampire in possession of a tragic backstory must be in want of a pouty orphan with emotional damage.”
—
Mr. Mark Darcy to Mr. Tong Bennet:
“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My reason is overruled by your scent. By this hallway, this shirt, this laundry basket—you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire, love, and would absolutely sniff you.”
—
Tong (who has never asked for this):
“Sir, I am not a tomato juice box to be squeezed upon your whims.”
“But I am flattered. Slightly.”
—
Professor Wickham (aka Nakan):
Tall, broody, speaks in unnecessary English, gives dark academia villain energy. Would definitely steal your blood and your boyfriend, but politely.
—
Miss Wan (Lady Catherine de Bourgh energy):
Says she’s just a flower shop owner.
Secretly orchestrating the entire plot from behind a vase of peonies and a bottle of vampire-grade lube.
—
The Ball Scene?
Replaced by basketball.
Darcy—sorry, Mark—gets elbowed. Tong has a moral awakening and a homoerotic flashback.
—
Chemistry?
Not the science kind.
The “accidentally touched hands while grabbing a garlic baguette” kind.
—
In conclusion:
If Jane Austen were alive today, she’d absolutely write Pride and Pheromones.
And you know what?
We’d be on episode 5, sipping blood-red cocktails, and screaming:
“You have bewitched me, body and bodily fluids.”
Fin.