there was a tweet that talked about a future scene where lin tuo tried to k*** himself by drowning after he came profoudly more disabled, and zhi que found him before he managed to pull it off. and honestly it broke my heart so much bcs i understand where he was coming from.
i dont have any disabilities that are progressing at a rate similar to him but i have a few physical disabilities that will get progressively worse as i age. if i'm lucky, it may only end at me becoming an ambulatory wheelchair user but it could also get a lot worse as well. and there was a period of my life a few years ago that i was where he was mentally, and was actively sabotaging my life and health by self-harming. bcs at the time, i thought i was a healthy person, with so much ahead of me, and finding out that your life is limited sucks, even though the prognosis is much better than terminal illnesses, but when you see your peers, former friends, living the live like you did, you cant help but grief for yourself, for the future you lost, to the point that even surviving felt pointless. i am in a much better space now, accepting my conditions and disabilities, but sometimes i still mourn. and grief the future that i have to bury.
watching that clip brings back the hurt and all the unpleasant memories i used to have, of the unfairness of the world, and i totally understand why he decided to do that. but i'm glad that zhi que was able to find him in time bcs death ends everything, and even though it's painful to be alive sometimes, i'm glad i stick around. but i would never dismiss it when someone choose to end their own life, bcs sometimes it seems like the most painless and hopeful thing to do.
watched the previews for the upcoming episodes and it seems by ep 17, she’s already back in his life (although it seems like he still have reservations)
i feel like when lin tuo narrated in the first episode how her misfortune started bcs of their appointment, it felt like he's alluding to their relationship bcs the misfortune that has happened to her, at least as of ep 7, would've happened with or without them meeting. and it's making me sad bcs he felt that at the end of the day, them meeting and falling in love only felt sorrowful bcs of their eventual parting
I know and in addition to him already feeling maybe inferior because of their very different social status and…
i feel like things started to go south since the wedding, just based on the epilogue, we can see the contempt her parents, especially her mom, had towards him and his family, and i think that’s when he started to feel small in front of her. and we see that she did try to protect him like she promised, but just that she didnt do it to his knowledge, so little by little, a rift form between them. he felt that she forsake her promise to always be by his side, especially since he’s her employee as well so there’s another layer to it.
honestly i can see how they have come to this, they both have too much pride. and little by little, all these misunderstanding and miscommunication piles up, and they ended up resenting each other. at least it seems that hae in still likes him, but it doesnt seem like she has communicated about it.
lol her sister is such a hypocrite, when they’re in trouble, she didnt think it was inappropriate for these men to help them but when the other person is in trouble, she’s so vehemently against associating with criminals and their families
i dont have any disabilities that are progressing at a rate similar to him but i have a few physical disabilities that will get progressively worse as i age. if i'm lucky, it may only end at me becoming an ambulatory wheelchair user but it could also get a lot worse as well. and there was a period of my life a few years ago that i was where he was mentally, and was actively sabotaging my life and health by self-harming. bcs at the time, i thought i was a healthy person, with so much ahead of me, and finding out that your life is limited sucks, even though the prognosis is much better than terminal illnesses, but when you see your peers, former friends, living the live like you did, you cant help but grief for yourself, for the future you lost, to the point that even surviving felt pointless. i am in a much better space now, accepting my conditions and disabilities, but sometimes i still mourn. and grief the future that i have to bury.
watching that clip brings back the hurt and all the unpleasant memories i used to have, of the unfairness of the world, and i totally understand why he decided to do that. but i'm glad that zhi que was able to find him in time bcs death ends everything, and even though it's painful to be alive sometimes, i'm glad i stick around. but i would never dismiss it when someone choose to end their own life, bcs sometimes it seems like the most painless and hopeful thing to do.