hiku

Reality itself shapes how we interact with others. No one is saying that friendship or caring about others is all fun and games. It’s not. It can be brutal and heart-wrenching, but that’s part of being human. Transactional relationships, where everything is seen as a trade, simply aren’t realistic. They reduce human connection to a cold exchange of resources, feelings, or duties. And in doing so, they become inhumane. True relationships whether friendships or romantic are about shared experiences, mutual respect, and genuine care. Anything less reduces us to mere tools, not people.

But how does that friend actually care about you? Suppose someone gives you attention, affection, and so on but only to further their own agenda and sees you as a tool. Is that truly a friend?

And what do we even mean by "balanced" give-and-take? In a world filled with unequal power structures and vastly different experiences, is there even such a thing as a universally balanced transactional dynamic? What feels “fair” for one person may be exploitative for another.

"Because the obsession, life-altering decisions, jealousy, betrayal,
and codependence mirror patterns people associate with romance. Tragedy has been the most romantic trope of all."

But that’s just one lens specific to some cultures. In many others, friendship is valued deeply and isn’t seen as transactional at all. I'd argue that no true friendship is purely transactional. Obsession isn’t friendship, or love, or care, it’s control. It’s toxicity and essence of transaction.

True friendship and relationships are about mutual care. Take beom seok, he was obsessed. His idea of connection was hollow, rooted in control, insecurity, and validation. su ho, on the other hand, genuinely cared for si eun, and even, to an extent, for beom seok.

Across history and cultures, stories have been written about the strength of friendship, the intensity of brotherhood, sisterhood, chosen families. These bonds stretch back as far as storytelling itself. Some societies may repress or ridicule these bonds, but they are still foundational to the human experience.

"Society permits and encourages the open expression of strong feelings in romantic contexts, dismissing or poking fun at the same feelings between "just friends." Intense feelings read romantic since romance is the primary model we have for understanding such depth of emotion."

But romance isn’t the only model. There’s familial love, platonic love, solidarity, rage, grief. Romance covers a wide range of emotion but it’s not the only frame. And some societies, especially, repress emotional expression, particularly among male friendships not because the feelings aren’t real, but because the accepted outlets are narrow.

In fact, real romance is an extension of friendship and chosen family. To be romantically close to someone is to have a kind of friend who loves and cares for you in every dimension emotionally, intellectually, physically, in ways a family member or platonic friend may not.

Friendships, by transcending lust and physical desire, reach a kind of clarity and purity that romance often cannot. They aren’t based on attraction, but on mutual recognition, trust, and presence. That doesn’t make them less intense or meaningful, just differently intimate.

Ultimately the same societies who distort friendship often distort romance too, framing it as an act of exchange, a contract of roles, needs, or status. In doing so, they strip romance of its actual intimacy. Romance becomes unromantic, another performance rather than a space for real care.

These are all puzzle pieces of the human experience. Not replaceable yet equally integral.

yeah, I don't get how these people exist and interact with normal people, likely beyond MDL, they don't.... lol

Trauma bonding, codependency, guilt, and fear of loneliness are real things that almost everyone faces, it is an integral aspect of life to heal. The drama does show elements of trauma bonding, codependency, guilt, and fear of loneliness. These are normal human emotion but they don’t build a friendship. They emerge within friendships, especially when there’s unresolved trauma involved. And life itself, in many ways, is inherently traumatic.

When so called "friendships" are built primarily on these needs, on transactions, they end up hurting both people. Just look at Season 1. It isn’t some rosy portrayal of connection. Sure, there's fighting and dramatics, and maybe less death than expected but it still delivers death, betrayal, and emotional devastation. Beom seok repeatedly casts doubt on si-eun, echoing the very mistrust you're referencing because he’s never had a real non transactional relationship in his life, not even with his father. So how could he possibly understand friendship, even if he wanted?

And yet, despite all this, people still rush to brand the core dynamic as romance. But why? Is it because we see romance as somehow more "valid" when it comes to emotional volatility? Does that mean friendship and romance are fundamentally different in how they handle "give and take"? Ultimately, when needs become currency, people stop being seen as people. They become machines trying to fit into one another's broken parts.

But it's not just fiction, it has happens every day, where people stick with others, even when they're a danger to themselves or other, and maybe "useless" and "not fun" because they care about them.

I do agree, unfortunately, it has seemed, the manifestation of true friendships (and relationships) have dwindled. But they do exist, and that's why stories like these are impactful, otherwise it was just be a delusional fantasy among the fight scenes.

And what you said, even in such outlook, applies to romance, (I mean even probably more so, no?) Romance can be branded as even much more give or take, the same as friendships, or even more, since there's element of direct underlying desire.

Our views aren't just voids in a vacuum, they shape our entire world and how make friends. If we believe friendship or relationships are transactional, we start off 'friendships and relationships' on that footing.

Seemingly minute, this is shown in psychology, and is often explained by the concept of cognitive schemas, where mental frameworks are shaped by our past experiences, beliefs, and expectations. They guide how we interpret social interactions and can become self-fulfilling. If we expect relationships to be give-and-take deals (transactional), we will then overlook and mistrust genuine connection, reinforcing our initial belief, a vicious cycle.

Breaking out of that cycle starts with becoming aware of the stories we tell ourselves about what connection should look like. And that's why even fictional stories, like this, are intermingled in the reality of connections and friendships.

I don't mind talking about outlooks (I have a fascination with it), but beyond the surface of the crude comments and drama on this series, how see friendships and relationships is the core crux. How we see friendships and relationships, beyond utility.

That's a astonishingly sad transactional view of relationships and friendships.

There's many deep friends and relationships. Anyone with deep friendships and knows their value knows the friendships shown in this and the previous season, (that is why last season was especially tragic.)

Heck, even this entire series has shown friends sticking through thick and thin in friendships, even when they are direct danger to themselves and others. Because they care about them, not because they're useful or fun. Those are side effects of caring and a deep friendship (and as well in other cases, relationships.)

Honestly, it does have some emotions but it's true raw emotions. the FL faces discrimination as a female detective and overcompensates on that by controlling scene, including the ml and his team. Their relationship does get better as whole, but there's development first.

You must have some superficial friendships...

literally trying to find any information on this is hot water. it's so sad people took her life as gossip even after death and the actual concerns are being buried.

Whatever crimes he did, he ought to get punished for them, yet some people are more concerned about gossip more than anything.

Don't know about award winning but stellar, Hot stove league, Life on Mars, Tunnel, Through the Darkness, Prison Playbook.

indeed oooo! please guide us poor peasants who dare to comment upon your so intelligent and awe-inspiring presence as seen through the forum!

yes... love is different across the world. Not everyone's love the same. Nor is age, nor are experiences. Welcome to non-eurocentrism!

really like the second season and dare i say more than the first, the characters are more enjoyable ( i did like suho.. and the first was still pretty good.)

i didnt even see that just watched the series, and i understand what that meant.

for some reason, delusional shippers have the time of their life making up their delusions, but they're so out of touch reality and even fictional consistency lol.

it's kinda pitiful they can't imagine and see the true partnership and friendship throughout this (with direct queues being non-romantic). I come from a culture where men and men hug and show affection as a form brother and sisterhood and it's sad that people can't even have basic connections, even to point of lying and ignorant.

a man abandoning a woman and her their children is not the same twenty children..

it's defend women and children until it's for your oppas.

shouldve never had a comback, i and hopefully many people don't watch anything he's in or at least skip his scenes.

there's so many more better actors out there, yall need to move and stop defending it.

would do you expect people who have had their land occupied by israeli occupation to do? when they continiously steal their land, and support the mass genocide? I'm speaking about stating the occupation has only been an issue since oct and it has not. It's been an issue for half a century.

the chinese, indians, and russias hate their own people and oppress them on the daily. Seems like you're reinforcing the fact islam is based on just.

Justice is bound to be hated.

how do you "respect different perspectives" when over thousands of children being murdered by a genocidal regime?

if you can't even keep up with the topic and can barely understand nor communicate, why are you even commenting? the topic wasn't on your baby daddy. Read again, slowly.

not a mirror, hong scum literally filed for divorce after cheating and was rejected, and the actress (house wrecker) above basically said it was the wife's fault for their affair. keep defending terrible women.