Kate

The core of the drama were the characters and dynamics between them, no one can deny that. It was all about how their relationship developed, why, and where it led them. What’s beautiful about this drama is the fact it made me care not only about them as a couple, but also them as individuals. Putting aside the romance, it was a story about people, their traumas and how they try to heal from them.

Starting with Han Gi Woo - a character that was struggling with his identity, be it as a teacher, or as a human being. Attentive, caring for the students, trying to help them, not ignoring their struggles - just enough to show he cares, but never fully committing, balancing right on the line. He struggled deeply with what he expected from himself, and what other people expected from him - since these were often mutually exclusive.

No matter what the situation was, he tried to react in the most normal way. But what is normal? He did not know. Hence he did not really react. So he became "dull" - he couldn’t react as himself, but he also did not know what other reactions to give.

“Turning a blind eye, pretending not to know, acting like everything was fine… I realized I was way too cruel”. Cruel to other people, for always keeping them at arm's length, but most importantly, cruel to himself for ignoring what he thought, felt and wanted. Until he reached a breaking point and saw him take a step forward after staying still his whole life.

Then we had Lee Hyeon Jae - a child so deprived of affection, that he was willing to cause himself harm, just to receive the care. In a situation when everyone pretended he did not exist, his wounds did not exist and his pain did not exist - Gi Woo noticed him. That was enough. He was emotionally captivated by Gi Woo’s attention.

"I can handle myself, so just stay out of it"
"Then don't give people a reason to worry"
For Hyeon Jae it's something he did not experience - someone being worried about him, someone being concerned about his well being. The feeling of "I matter to someone" when your whole life you felt invisible, when people told you to act like you don't exist. When everyone pretends you don't exist.

What I found the most interesting is the fact that Gi Woo not only saw Hyeon Jae and paid attention to him, he also led Hyeon Jae to pay attention to himself. He forces him to think about his future, reasons for his actions. Because it's not only other people who ignored Hyeon Jae. What's worse, he ignored himself. Sadly, he was never fully able to set himself free of that thinking.

"Have you ever misinterpreted someone's kindness?"
"Yes. I think I'm going through that... right now"
I loved that he was aware of the fact he was reading too much into it, but he also desperately wanted to convince himself that what he saw, felt and interpreted was the reality. No matter what Gi Woo felt, he decided to read it in a way that he felt was right, that satisfied his wants, but when the feelings finally became mutual, that’s when he took a step back - unwilling to push forward anymore. The fact that despite mutual feelings Gi Woo still rejected him was what made him give up.

Their journey, as heartbreaking as it was, was also painfully well executed.
Gi Woo was forcing himself to stay in line all his life because of his mother, so he literally lost the sense of who he is, and that description of being "dull" became both the way he navigated through life without issues, but also the thing that created problems for him - and he hated it. But Hyeon Jae came and told him that he does not think he is dull, that he sees past that.

"This is the first time anyone's ever treated me as special. You're special to me too, sir" - on one hand this is something Gi Woo wanted to hear. On the other hand it was something he feared hearing. "I'm nobody special anyway. What I'm saying is, don't read too much into it.”, "What I think is my business"
Hyeon Jae was not putting a foot in the door, he was kicking the door open with full force and not backing down. And that's what got to Gi Woo. Someone not letting him stay in that dull state, someone who told him he is special no matter how many times he denied it.

With Hyeon Jae, being abused was one thing, but he was being ignored - that's the motivation behind his feelings for Gi Woo, because Gi Woo did not pretend like he does not exist, he noticed him and thought about him. He did not let him just leave when there were issues, but rather forced him to think about them and about himself. Gi Woo literally made him feel like he exists.

What started as just a misguided sense of being seen for who they are, that was being confused as love, developed into a real romantic feeling. I do think at first it was mostly a response to psychological and emotional deprivation they went through, but I also have to applaud the writer for clearly showing the contrast between what was happening between them, and how other relationships with Gi Woo’s students were structured. They were not the same. What they had was undeniably real.

As for the ending - extremely fitting and to some extent on brand with Hyeon Jae: will we stay in our delusion and assume they did meet in the future? Will we move to a more bittersweet ending of them living their separate lives slowly improving? Or will we dive deep into a hell fire of misery and assume Jeong Ha’s prediction happened and Gi Woo can only now live a life full of regret? Personally I live by the motto “staying delulu is the solulu” and in my brain they met on that bus stop in the epilogue. I do not accept any other ending.

On the brighter side, Kim Jeong Ha and Park Seong Won with all the miscommunication, confusion and teen angst, were able to pull through and set on the path of mutual feelings. I love how their “ending” was literally the beginning of exploration. The fact it ends on Jeong Ha giving Seong Won time to figure out his feelings - for me it was less about starting to like him, and more about accepting the fact he already does. They both cared for each other, they both loved each other and now they will slowly learn how to accept that and change the way they view the relationship.

The more I write this review the more I appreciate how well written the drama was, when even characters that did not have much screentime still felt distinctive and memorable.

Sure thing I hated Hyeon Jae’s father, Gi Woo’s mother, and the majority of the teachers. I felt some conflicting feelings about some students, the wife and Kim Ji Tae, but what’s most important - I feel like I fairly well understand these characters, I remember their personalities, motivations, scenes they were in. Each had at least one or two memorable moments I can point to. Even if they existed as a backdrop for the lead’s story, they did not really feel like props to me.

Aside from the characters, there were some themes and clever devices used for express them:

The use of the Amuna app as a storytelling mechanic deepens the understanding of the characters and their relationship. First of all, I need to say that there were some mistranslations happening: "Need to vent? Try Amuna Random Chat" - it should say: "Want to be honest" or "Want to be truthful" not "vent". And it perfectly matched Gi Woo's issue - he wanted to be honest and truthful with himself, but he felt like he did not know how. It's not about venting, it's about internal honesty. And this app was his tiny salvation where he could explore himself without the burden of any consequences. Where he did not need to keep the persona of normality. When he could express his thoughts freely.

And for Hyeon Jae, it was a kind bridge to connect with Gi Woo, to keep him in his life, to understand him better, to reach him. In some strange way they both achieved what they aimed for - Gi Woo wanted to open up to a stranger, and Hyeon Jae wanted to open up to Gi Woo.

The theme of abuse, neglect and the peace of ignoring the issues - all that presented through Gi Woo’s interactions with his co-workers. They disliked him, because he ruined their illusion of normalcy and easy ways out. Hyeon Jae became their answer to any troubles. They deluded themselves into thinking that as long as they push through the last semester there will be no victims - they will be able to move on and Hyeon Jae will graduate, as if the abuse would stop with him leaving the school.

But Gi Woo couldn’t make himself pretend like he did not see anything. And it bugged them. And the more he cared for the students, the more involved he was, the more their perfect picture was ruined. And that was one of the reasons Gi Woo left - he knew the truth and could not pretend like it does not exist. The fact he changed his path from being a teacher to wanting to be a career counselor was beautiful - someone who cares that deeply should not work in a place that punishes you for caring and pushing students towards improvement.

To the acting - I kind of want to cry. Everyone, and I mean everyone did an amazing job. Not only were the leads perfectly cast, but all the supporting characters and even the background actors delivered what was needed to make this story feel real.

Ryu Se Il with his restrained emotions hidden behind the micro expressions, that only exploded by the end of the show - that breaking down crying scene had so much impact, because we witnessed how much he was holding it all in throughout the show. Comparing it with how raw and exposed Ha Jung Hoon’s feelings were, how you could feel every tear, every shift of the eyes, every sad smile. Then we have Lee Jung Chan as Kim Jeong Ha - believable as the bully he was forced to be by the circumstances, but also a vulnerable teen who cannot lean on the friend he like, and Jung Si Wan with that fear in his eyes every time Seong Won had to let Jeong Ha go.

As for production, I can imagine they had a limited budget, but it truly does not feel like it. Great use of light and shadows to create more depth in the shots. Extremely well done make up for the injuries and bruises - that also was consistent with the time passing. Set design that did not look empty - spaces that fitted the characters and their personalities. And that intro. Second best right after Gray Shelter.

All that good things said, there were some details of the story I wish were explained/elaborated more. What did Park Seong Won do that Kim Jeong Ha’s hand got injured? Was Hyeon Jae locked in a mental hospital for 2 years after the drug issue at school, when they pretended he studied abroad? What happened to his mother? What was the Secretary’s deal - sometimes he was annoyingly cruel, sometimes it seemed like he was borderline on Hyeon Jae’s side, or at least feeling bad for him. I feel like some of these could literally get more closure with one or two lines of dialogue, so the vagueness felt unsatisfying. Honestly such minor issues taking into consideration the overall quality of the drama.

Overall, ending up on the mental list of my favorite BLs and short dramas. I just adore any project that makes me reflect on what I saw, want to discuss it with others, rewatch to check for details and better understanding.