Unpopular opinion: I sometimes think lby is too good for css and she doesn't deserve him sometimes. I'm glad qiqi…
I get the sentiment and how our hearts might be tugged one way or the other, when either LBY or CSS are hurt or saddened by the other. In the matter of 'love', i think it is tricky when onlookers label either one as 'deserving' or 'undeserving' of the love each party receives. The fact that both keep drawing back to each other is testament that they each believe the effort to love the other is worth it, hurts and all. And it's still very much a journey for them to grow closer and have a better understanding of how to love the other person better.
As the Empress noted, CSS has grown up alone and only having to look out for herself. So she now has to learn to think for the other person in the relationship as well. And it's only by doing so, that they will become one and a force to be reckoned with. LBY is pretty much the same. He too has been pretty much alone and had to look out for himself all his life, in many ways. Now that he's come across CSS and discovered that he might have a chance to love and have a family of his own, he too needs to learn to think of the other person in this marriage. With the burden of so many deaths on his shoulders, it would've been very hard to resist that oupouring of anguish, anger and hate in avenging his family and clan's deaths, no matter how much he loves CSS. Perhaps if they had met much earlier and loved more, he might've had a chance to let love overcome the hurts of his heart.
But i think, what is to come, though heart shattering, is what removes the last vestiges of each of them holding onto that tiny bit of their own individual selves, in order that they might finally realise a more freeing and selfless love for one another.
When SS brings food that she's cooked for him, he compliments her on feeding LBY well, then in the next breath, complains that the little rascal (LBY) refuses to share any of said food with him 😆🤣🤣🤣
I would have agreed about trying out, testing and experimenting if they were outside the palace. All this is happening…
Precisely. Even outside the palace and in today's world, one would need to think carefully and proceed cautiously. What more within the highly charged setting within the palace. CSS will have to learn to delay her first impulse to act and think in a more circumspect way, both for her own growth, as well as for the sake of the other person in this relationship. However, she's not the only one needing to recognise where the shortfall is and making certain changes as well to accommodate the other person.
Another two little steps (Ep 31 & 32) closer to an improved relationship and growth of CSS and LBY.
A strong marriage is both a meeting of hearts as well as minds. It's clear that at this point in time, they are nowhere quite near that point yet. However, as has been pointed out by others, that they both speak out their concerns and frustrations to each other and not just bury that in themselves, is a good starting point for reflection and growth.
Neither of them is completely wrong. Nor are they completely right. And that's pretty much what marriage is. Each person brings strengths and weaknesses into the partnership. How they hone and harness those for the sake of strengthening their partnership is what will sail the ship, or sink/stall the vessel.
At this point, CSS has to get past being placed in the position that she's in by LBY's proposal. She accepted it (even after deliberating on it with her parents), so it is time she takes responsibility for her own choices. We can only rest so long in the past, when it becomes time that we need to move on and take responsibility to become a better version of ourselves, despite the circumstances that have coloured our upbringing or initial point of how we ended up where we currently find ourselves.
She's also told LBY she wants to learn every bit of what he's gone through, as she herself will likely have to walk that path herself moving forward. In most situations, when we have a person who has gone through what we foresee we are likely to experience, what would be a logical thing to do? We would ask them for some insight into what might lie ahead. LBY suggested just as much previously that she could ask him, rather than put herself in the line of danger by testing out people and situations directly. But she's both independent and headstrong so she's not asked but dived headlong into action to experience it for herself.
SS is also a fixer and improver by nature. We see that in how she builds and seeks improvement with things she designs. And that part of her personality also comes to fore when a situation presents itself that needs fixing. However, in order to fix something in the way that best serves its future purpose, one also needs to examine and understand the underlying issues that have contributed to the brokenness. This is where the lack is, when she tries to protect and find solutions to issues that she's currently facing in the palace.
It's not that the issues only lie with SS. She is right in that LBY hasn't shared information that she needs with her. The issue comes back to trust. He hasn't realised that he doesn't trust her enough yet to be fully vulnerable with her to share the hidden parts of himself. Case in point, his mother who lives in seclusion. He's lived with this protective shell of privacy for so long that he's not thought yet to loosen up and invite her in. Secondly, in his efforts to protect her for her own good, he hasn't trusted her enough so far to be able to wisely handle information that he knows and can share, sensitive as that may be. Hence, he's left her in the dark.
Added to that, it's also not that he's fully withholding information for the sake of it. Let's not forget that the palace and its intrigues are not only LBY's family but also his workplace. How much he can reveal is also dependent on the degree of danger it places on other individuals and sections of the larger society. Truth be told, how many of us, even when knowing the unfairness at play in our partner's family or workplace, are given to barging in and dishing out advice or try to solve a problem, even though we can see clearly that someone or something needs fixing? That's where maturity and trust comes in. Trust that one partner will furnish the relevant information when the time is right, as well as trust that the other party will heed our lead and not dive straight into the melee, for the sake of protecting what we don't fully understand as yet.
Both CSS and LBY are still very inexperienced in love and young. They are also wounded individuals, with the deep hurts of their past. It will take time to grow the trust and build a strong partnership. I appreciate how the story and drama portrays these very real struggles.
"One of the greatest lies (and I choose my words deliberately) ever propagated in my lifetime is that everyone…
What you've pointed out is true. My intention is never to disparage. It saddens me, seeing how these issues are playing out in every day lives. We have lost the resilience to withstand the pressures around us. And not to discount the very real challenges one does face in life. But the perpetuating of the lies you've identified has undermined our ability to face and cope with difficulties, as we grow from child to adult.
More thoughts from moi on Episodes 27 and 28.https://40somethingahjumma.substack.com/p/love-like-the-galaxy-2022-episodes-ef2Thanks…
"One of the greatest lies (and I choose my words deliberately) ever propagated in my lifetime is that everyone should be able to do whatever they want. Ancillary to that is the myth that anyone can be anything they want to be."
Couldn't agree more 👏🏻 That's how we end up with half- baked adults, not much different to those petulant and self-centred characters in the drama. That very down to earth and honest conversation between parents and daughter took me by surprise too, given the trajectory of the story to date. However, it does speak volumes of how SS views her parents, despite her constant head butting with mum. She went straight to mum when she needed the advice to make her biggest life decision at this point, trusting that she (and dad) would be able to help her arrive at the right decision. And her parents delivered, in a way I wish many of our own parents should've done or will do.
For the novel readers, could you please help? I'm actually a little bit fearful of the answer I might get to this question.
It's about LBY's bodyguard Ah Qi (the leaner one). Will he still be with LBY till the end of the novel? I didn't see him in the scene from the official OST where LBY is face-to-face for the first time with CSS and YS after the incident. Only caught sight of Ah Fei there.
As the Empress noted, CSS has grown up alone and only having to look out for herself. So she now has to learn to think for the other person in the relationship as well. And it's only by doing so, that they will become one and a force to be reckoned with. LBY is pretty much the same. He too has been pretty much alone and had to look out for himself all his life, in many ways. Now that he's come across CSS and discovered that he might have a chance to love and have a family of his own, he too needs to learn to think of the other person in this marriage. With the burden of so many deaths on his shoulders, it would've been very hard to resist that oupouring of anguish, anger and hate in avenging his family and clan's deaths, no matter how much he loves CSS. Perhaps if they had met much earlier and loved more, he might've had a chance to let love overcome the hurts of his heart.
But i think, what is to come, though heart shattering, is what removes the last vestiges of each of them holding onto that tiny bit of their own individual selves, in order that they might finally realise a more freeing and selfless love for one another.
A strong marriage is both a meeting of hearts as well as minds. It's clear that at this point in time, they are nowhere quite near that point yet. However, as has been pointed out by others, that they both speak out their concerns and frustrations to each other and not just bury that in themselves, is a good starting point for reflection and growth.
Neither of them is completely wrong. Nor are they completely right. And that's pretty much what marriage is. Each person brings strengths and weaknesses into the partnership. How they hone and harness those for the sake of strengthening their partnership is what will sail the ship, or sink/stall the vessel.
At this point, CSS has to get past being placed in the position that she's in by LBY's proposal. She accepted it (even after deliberating on it with her parents), so it is time she takes responsibility for her own choices. We can only rest so long in the past, when it becomes time that we need to move on and take responsibility to become a better version of ourselves, despite the circumstances that have coloured our upbringing or initial point of how we ended up where we currently find ourselves.
She's also told LBY she wants to learn every bit of what he's gone through, as she herself will likely have to walk that path herself moving forward. In most situations, when we have a person who has gone through what we foresee we are likely to experience, what would be a logical thing to do? We would ask them for some insight into what might lie ahead. LBY suggested just as much previously that she could ask him, rather than put herself in the line of danger by testing out people and situations directly. But she's both independent and headstrong so she's not asked but dived headlong into action to experience it for herself.
SS is also a fixer and improver by nature. We see that in how she builds and seeks improvement with things she designs. And that part of her personality also comes to fore when a situation presents itself that needs fixing. However, in order to fix something in the way that best serves its future purpose, one also needs to examine and understand the underlying issues that have contributed to the brokenness. This is where the lack is, when she tries to protect and find solutions to issues that she's currently facing in the palace.
It's not that the issues only lie with SS. She is right in that LBY hasn't shared information that she needs with her. The issue comes back to trust. He hasn't realised that he doesn't trust her enough yet to be fully vulnerable with her to share the hidden parts of himself. Case in point, his mother who lives in seclusion. He's lived with this protective shell of privacy for so long that he's not thought yet to loosen up and invite her in. Secondly, in his efforts to protect her for her own good, he hasn't trusted her enough so far to be able to wisely handle information that he knows and can share, sensitive as that may be. Hence, he's left her in the dark.
Added to that, it's also not that he's fully withholding information for the sake of it. Let's not forget that the palace and its intrigues are not only LBY's family but also his workplace. How much he can reveal is also dependent on the degree of danger it places on other individuals and sections of the larger society. Truth be told, how many of us, even when knowing the unfairness at play in our partner's family or workplace, are given to barging in and dishing out advice or try to solve a problem, even though we can see clearly that someone or something needs fixing? That's where maturity and trust comes in. Trust that one partner will furnish the relevant information when the time is right, as well as trust that the other party will heed our lead and not dive straight into the melee, for the sake of protecting what we don't fully understand as yet.
Both CSS and LBY are still very inexperienced in love and young. They are also wounded individuals, with the deep hurts of their past. It will take time to grow the trust and build a strong partnership. I appreciate how the story and drama portrays these very real struggles.
Couldn't agree more 👏🏻 That's how we end up with half- baked adults, not much different to those petulant and self-centred characters in the drama. That very down to earth and honest conversation between parents and daughter took me by surprise too, given the trajectory of the story to date. However, it does speak volumes of how SS views her parents, despite her constant head butting with mum. She went straight to mum when she needed the advice to make her biggest life decision at this point, trusting that she (and dad) would be able to help her arrive at the right decision. And her parents delivered, in a way I wish many of our own parents should've done or will do.
It's about LBY's bodyguard Ah Qi (the leaner one). Will he still be with LBY till the end of the novel? I didn't see him in the scene from the official OST where LBY is face-to-face for the first time with CSS and YS after the incident. Only caught sight of Ah Fei there.