Family by Choice

LOVE IT

I was about to watch Go Ahead earlier this year because of all the great reviews but didn't because of Song Weilong. Personally I just cannot deal with his one wooden expression for everything so I left it and am so glad I did!

Because then I can enjoy FbC with AHS who is actually really good and the story (although does feel rushed) is going great for me.

I love the relationship between Haejun and Juwon's father the most. Also enjoying his interactions with Park Dal. I guess I'm a new fan of Bae Hyeon Seong!!

I'm a bit conflicted about Juwon's character. Her younger self was so fiesty, opinionated and just great but they made the older Juwon a bit whiny and princess-y. hmm..

San-Ha's mum: I haven't watched Go Ahead myself and not sure what the ending like is for her. But honestly, I'm praying for all the bad things for her and that San Ha should just abandon her. She's a hateful character who abandoned her children, caused the death of one and blamed the other. Then she abandoned him and came back expecting his apology. Then gets into an accident and expects him to look after her. This is so messed up and out of the world level of narcissism. I would really hate it if they let her "regret things and change her way", a bit too late tbh. She doesn't deserve a redemption arc..

Will update once I finish it.

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Wholesome, Heartfelt, Chosen Family

==final ep ending thoughts. will elaborate in the future.
8.75/10
rounding to 9 for that absolutely wonderful, wholesome ending.

my mouth hurts from smiling so much 😭 the ending was so wholesome. thank you for this drama. it made my weekdays and the last two months better and warm. despite some shortfalls, it tied up well. some plotpoints left that I would have liked to be explored more - especially in regards to sanha's pain and mental health. and ofcourse his mother. so leaves me a little less content. the writer didn't push the envelope enough even she could have. maybe another drama/time.

the writer had perfect ingredients all ready to go but just didn't try/ was able to blend it together. instead went with the easier story/character w.r.t haejun and his mom issue. cuz that was a straight forward story, easier to resolve. a lot more care and attention was needed to tell sanha's story, it would have made this a masterpiece if the writer was bold enough to tackle any one of parental abuse, abandonment, trauma attachment, or mental health. instead the writer opted for none.

it's a light hearted watch, all the characters are lovable you are bound to have a good time.



i really can't forgive the fact sanha's b of a mother didn't apologize to the end. neither was juwon or the rest of the family made aware of his insomnia and struggles. i get why it's freeing him to say out loud that he's hurting too, because he as a character is written to be someone who hides all pain and lets out nothing. so it's freeing him to tell her his pain. that's fine. i don't think he was kneeling to apologise, but only in pain so that's fine too. but how can the writer turn a blind eye to the damage the mother caused him? sanha's weakness was his constant yearning for his mother's love, and her forgiveness (he did nothing wrong but he felt guilty nevertheless) - so maybe not an explicit sorry from her cuz that's too much to expect from that woman but maybe even a "i was hurting too" or something.

should have just cut contact with that mother and kept only with his sister. he deserved atleast a breakdown scene infront of juwon/his dad. haejun got one but why should sanha hold off till the end when arguably he seemed to be physically ill as well. and the only opening he gets is in front of his mom?

think the writer planned something else initially and went a different way.

the mother had a push and pull relationship with him. she wanted him in her life but it then reminded her of the dead daughter. that's why her ideal ending should have been medical treatment not migration to UK where sanha has to visit. well a complete cut off isn't possible because of his sister either. so a apology could have gone a long way if they wanted to still keep them in contact.

the only saving grace of that dynamic is the two actors who did exceptionally well showing the conflict.

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cutting a complex & powerful story in half - remake lacks depth of the original

I watched Go Ahead a year ago & felt it was one of the best modern C-dramas I've seen, with a compelling, human story of the most difficult childhood traumas of abandonment & betrayal & how it affects everyone involved. The strength & power of a "family unit", in which ever way that can be defined, is one that works when the children matter. So it was with much anticipation that I started watching this K remake, knowing that it would require much skill to match the quality & spirit of the C original. The fact that this drama can cross borders to be retold in another country & culture only shows that this is simply an amazing story.

The premise of the drama is complex: 3 broken families coalesce into one, with two dads working together to raise 3 kids. The story spans 20 years of their lives. It's an intricate & emotional exploration of the meaning of family & what constitutes being a parent.

The most significant role, in terms of importance & performance, is the character of the 1st father Yoon Jeong Jae. He is the family glue who has the most compassion & understanding, which enables him to take Hae Jun under his wing, as well as look out for San Ha in addition to raising his daughter. Choi Won Young does a decent job of conveying Yoon's quiet & steady strength in protecting the 3 kids from all the forces aiming to attack & separate them for not being a "real" family.

The influence of growing up in an all male household might be the equivalent of being raised by wolves, which the baby of the family, Ju Won, is perfectly suited to tackle with her fearlessness & spunk. However, as a major milestone in a girl's life, I notice references to menstruation is a line K-dramas don't seem to cross, but C-dramas have no qualms about it whatsoever. In Go Ahead, Jian Jian's femininity is thrown in everyone's faces when she proudly announces the arrival of her 1st period, at the breakfast table, no less. It's a very funny scene. The ensuing awkwardness highlights her father's realization of his limitations in being a father to a daughter, but also shows the complete trust she has in her family. Although older in real life, the baby-faced Tan SongYun played a much more convincing mischievous imp (one who pulls down her brother's pants as a prank) than Jung Chae Yeon in their character's teen years. This character was much livelier in the original version.

This K remake is only half the total length of the C original, so I expected a much more condensed version with fewer characters & secondary arcs. One of the things I liked about GA was the time it took to develop each of the characters & give much depth to all of the background stories. No single character's trajedy is less than another's, but FBC still managed to cover all the major conflicts & plot developments. In the final 1/3 of the series with the kids as adults, however, I felt a separation from the original as FBC took on a more typical K romance vibe. What made GA special was that it was not typical.

There were more differences in storyline detail, perhaps to match specific aspects of the culture in Korea such as compulsory military service, but I think some of the spirit of the original was lost. A big difference between the productions was in Kang Hae Jun's story. His character's falling out with his birth father while abroad was not mentioned in the remake. In GA it was pivotal in his return home & wanting to become independent rather than relying on his father's money. In GA, he is the one setting up his own bakery, while in the remake he seems to drift aimlessly day to day without purpose or determination. This is a huge change in character.

By the last few episodes, each character comes to the point from where they have reconciled with their pasts & are able to move forward to happiness. Along the way, a lot of time is spent on questions of belonging & the pacing slowed in spite of having to condense the original story. The drama lost cohesion, like so much of the original story was cut out & couldn't be filled back in.

The concept of filial piety has only served to make parents treat their biological children as if they owe them, which makes the parent-child bond merely transactional. And yet, we expect the parent-child bond to be unconditional. These two situations cannot co-exist. In the end, the family that is one by choice is the one that's indestructable. This remake can certainly stand on its own as a good show but I prefer the C version for it's depth & heart.

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Family by Choice...A CRITIC.

BEFORE READING, PLEASE KEEP IN MIND I WILL BE REVIEWING THIS AS OBJECTIVELY AS I CAN. However, as I do have a bias for Go Ahead, this will be filled with comparisons and critics (as the title says). If you can't take it, move along.

LIKES: Cast (especially the kids), OST, STORY, Some of the character changes (Ju Won becoming a baker), the lack of a love triangle and the brother ending up with the friend.
DISLIKES: Sanha's mother, inability to capture my emotions, Sanha's resolution. (READ FURTHER FOR DEEPER DIVE INTO THIS)

I went into this with little to no expectations as I am not really fond of remakes, however I had nothing else to watch at the time. First few episodes surpassed those expectations as it really managed to get most of the major points across...until right before the time skip. I discovered that during the first couple episodes, I wasn't comparing this to the OG but then as it went on, it started to get harder to not compare, especially after the time skip.

Without too much spoilers, here's a few things that made the show ratings drop for me
- The fl's character was inconsistent. As a kid she had more drive and was more of the bully but then she suddenly lost that in HS? AND YES I KNOW PEOPLE CHANGE but it just felt off.

- Sanha's family, specifically his parents. There's 3 things I found super hard to ignore and really disliked in this point...
1. Sanha's father's lack of a backbone. It's hard to explain without comparing so imma compare anyway. In the OG, Ling Xiao's father also didn't have a solid backbone but when he needed to stand up for him, he did so with zero hesitation. In this though, I found Sanha's father a bit weak even during confrontation. It was as though the mother always had the upper hand. WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY SECOND ONE.
2. Sanha's mother. OMG SHE WAS INFURIATING. I didn't think I'd ever hate this character more than the Chinese one but damn!!! I hated the fact that the writers let her have the upper hand the whole time? Like ZERO REMORSE TILL THE END. She was the major reason for everything Sanha faced and even till the end, she never once apologized? THIS WAS A MAJOR REASON for another drop in rating.
3. Sanha's resolution: WHY??? WHY??? I felt as though the writers decided to just skip over all the trauma this boy went through with "Insomnia" and "Abandonment". While these are two major things he dealt with, they completely glossed over his PTSD and depression AND THEY basically ended it all with a talk with his brother and a shared drink??? ALSO EXCUSE ME??? WHY DID SANHA HAVE TO BEG THAT WITCH?!!! SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED!!!!! This PISSED ME OFF FR. I was hoping he'd leave her. I hated the mother being able to simply just be forgiven in the OG but I hated this one more. At least there, she actually realized her fault (albeit too late).

- FINALLY, The show's inability to evoke strong emotions from me: If you look at my ratings, the lowest is it's rewatch value. This isn't because I don't rewatch shows but it's because I doubt I'll have reason to rewatch this. And that's because this show was unable to capture my full attention and evoke strong emotions within me.

I have rewatched Go Ahead at least 4 times since it came out and I can tell you each time, I CRY. Not just silent tears slipping down my face but full blown sobs. While watching this, I found myself smiling more than crying and sometimes falling asleep (the last two eps were a drag). I mentioned Sanha's resolution and I wanna just point out that his LACK of resolution was the final reason for my rating dropping from a 9 (in the beginning) to a 7.5. In the OG, there's a few scenes that made my heart HURT and the ones that hurt the most were the scene where his father finds out about the pills he had to take to survive those years with his mother. The fact that his kid was broken and he had no idea. - This was the resolution Sanha did not have.
And the scene where Ling Xiao's mother comes uninvited to his house and sees Jian Jian and Ling Xiao finds out, breaks down, runs to Jian Jian's apartment and embraces her. This scene showed his attachment to her, it wasn;t a pure romantic love but it was A "I need you to be able to survive" kind of attachment. Yet another scene that would've given the viewers a deeper insight into Sanha as a broken person.
However, a lot of the scenes that should've evoked big emotions were changed/not included in this and it just made the show fall flat for me. Less focus on the romance in the last 2 eps and more on resolving their trauma would've made this way better

Oh also, someone mentioned that there was a lack of "familial" bond amongst the siblings as they made it so that Sanha was in love with her from start and I cannot agree more. The feelings this character should have for fl isn't just romantic love, It's deeper, more twisted than that...but alas.

END: WHY is this rated a 7.5 and not lower?: All in all, I think this show as a standalone and not an adaptation/remake would've been a masterpiece. However, it's sad that it is after all an adaptation and cannot be free from comparisons. I want to also say, I think the cast was amazing especially Bae Hyeon Seong who plays the role of KANG Hae Joon. They did fully embody the characters to the best they could. Kudos to the little kid actors too, loved loved loved little Ju Won. Ju Won's father was amazing as always!

If you made it this far, You deserve a cookie! Thanks for reading and being a part of my ramble/rant session!

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Started off good,downhill from there

Okay, so this drama started off really good for the first few episodes. And then it just went downhill from there. I was waiting on the romance from the 2 people who are going to fall in love. I won't spoil it for those who haven't watched it but I'm on episode 10 and I still haven't gotten any romance. Also, they did this 10 year time jump and the characters look exactly the same. Not only that, but they were so close growing up together and then they just lost contact after they moved away from each other? That's pretty unbelievable. I don't think that would actually happen.They should have done only like a 4 or 5 year time jump, that would have been more believable because they still look like kids when they are supposed to be 30 years old.This show has gotten so boring. I have literally fast-forwarded the past 3 episodes because nothing major is happening. So yeah, I will force myself to keep watching, but I will not really recommend this drama.
Update: finished watching and it did get better on the last 4 epiosdes. The trope with the toxic mom i just fast forwarded through every time. I cannot watch toxic people who mever change.

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Remake? No. Adaptation? Yes.

The core story is still the same with Chinese version, but the detailed storyline is more explored.

In my opinion, watching this drama really delivers my emotional feels that made me cry several times, haha. And I like how the three siblings didn't get trapped in a love triangle.

However, the downside for me is that the romance between Juwon and Sanha. I’m not sure if it’s because of their lack of chemistry or if they’re just better off as siblings until the end. Some parts like the kiss scenes, I even skipped, haha. Tbh, the second couple is cuter—they don’t have many moments, but they’re still sweet.

Oh, and regarding the actors’ performances, I think they did well overall. But for Juwon’s teenage character, it would’ve been better if he had been portrayed as more “childish,” especially since his character here is meant to be talkative. His acting wasn’t bad; it just didn’t fully fit the character.

Overall, this drama is still worth to watch! 💛

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A quick recap of Go Ahead without the emotional depth

When you create a remake especially of such a heartfelt story which I personally have rewatched 5 times it is inevitable to make comparisons and drawing parallels from the original storyline. While the original story had a longer play time it was obvious that some parts might be cut out from the original script but it didnt necessarily have to cut off the emotions. I just didnt feel the stress the children went through in the first few episodes, couldnt feel the childishness and the bond they had as teens, couldnt feel the pressure which pushed them to leave their hometowns at 18, couldnt feel the growing distance between them. All those scenes were simply shown like a DVD player on 2x speed. Go Ahead made me feel the struggles , the pain and the love that was there.
Going into character breakdown while Li jian jian had this childishness as a teen and a childish maturity as a grown up, her growth was evident, her confusions seemed vali but the Korean version simply broke it down to a naive kid losing the essence of the high spirited kid Li jian jian was and simply bringing in a regular girl. I mean right after Kim san ha ("Ling Xiao" in Go Ahead) confessed she was waiting for his texts the next day. Thats not what Jian jian would do, she would rather run away and hide while Ling Xiao finds her, that was the core and they ruined it.
Coming to Yang/Kang Hae Jun (He Zi Qiu), I believe they didn't really want to portray his side of the story, all they wanted to focus is the romance of Ju won and San Ha beacuse as far as at ep11 i dont see the pretentious facade ZiQiu had to hide the fact he was struggling. The moment when Jian Jian gave Zi Qiu some cash he just burst out in anger coz he had receieved more than enough and wanted to give back now, and Jian jian's offer just made him look pathetic but Hae Jun didnt even hesitate when Ju Won gave him her Card to buy clothes and shoes (i dont know if its a cultural thing, but i think chinese and korean people have similar east asian values). I think this is a point from whereon the character outline of Ziqiu in the korean version totally changes up.
Coming to the last main character that is Kim San Ha (Ling Xiao), while his story remains more or less same with all incidents except choice of career its shown in a very rushed manner, in the original version his mother's character would simply frustrate you to the extent that your heart sinks for Ling Xiao, but even though San Ha had the same struggles the rush makes it seem like he got things pretty easily, he got the girl quick after confession, he got the father's approval rather fast and his mother stopped bothering him pretty quickly and left, it was all too fast and lacking in details.
Overall, I think they failed to copy the essence of the original which had great comic timing and emotional depth topped by the beautiful character sketch and background music. I cant recall any tune that was memorable from this series. I wont deny that the ending few episodes (ep 11 to 16) did make me happy and made me smile, but i would credit that to the cuteness of Hae jun and his girlfriend falling for each other and other events surrounding it. Actually these few eps were just a long happy ending that makes the viewer happy.
In conclusion if you truly want an emotionally rich show watch " GO AHEAD" , if you want a quick binge and lightly mooded show watch "FAMILY BY CHOICE".

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Fun watch but doesn't live up to the original

The Chinese version of this drama is one of my favorite dramas. I am not against remakes, in most cases I like them. I am not even against this remake. There are aspects of this version I liked more. I liked that they made the female lead less childish.

My major gripe with this version is that they shortened it and rushed the story. In comparison, the k-drama misses many of the key moment of the original. When you have watched the Chinese versions, some of the scenes in the Korean version feel superficial or not as impactful since this version isn't as fleshed out.

If you haven't watched the Chinese version, I do recommend this drama. If you want to watch both, I recommend starting with this version and then watching the Chinese drama Go Ahead.

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A beautiful drama about family that failed to deliver what it should.

This is my first review ever, so if you are reading this, I hope this review is helpful to you in any way.

"Family by choice" is a drama about 3 families that face different hardships but find a way to face them and solve them together, by forming a family of their own. I am well aware that this drama is a remake, however I haven't watched the original, so this review will be based solely on the Korean version.

I think the most beautiful thing about this drama is the portrayal of a family formed from scratches. We have 3 families facing completely different situations, but somehow they all come together, form a new family and help each other. For the family dynamic alone I think this drama is worth watching. It was beautiful and comforting seeing how, even tho they were not all bonded by blood, they cared very deeply about each other. This was what enchanted me.
The acting was phenomenal, everyone did a really good job portraying their characters and their emotions.

But, of course, there are a lot of problems with this drama that took value from it.
I watched the first 10 episodes quite fast, since I was hooked and wanted to see more and more. Nonetheless, it took me more than a week to watch the last 6 episodes. With the pass of time, I started realising a lot of different problems with the way this show was written, and those problems made it difficult for me to fully enjoy the last episodes. .

1. Sanha's mom.
At the beginning, I could understand what was her purpose on the show and what her stance was. But, even after 20 years passed, she was spitting the same things over and over again, causing more problems without actually having any character development and without contributing to the show at all.
She was purely there to cause the viewer rage for her character, that's it. After 20 years, she never onces changed her speech, never once had any other actual reason for being the way she was, and this became too annoying to watch in the later episodes. Her characters had no depth. She was making her son's life miserable without once having any kind of development or purpose on the series.
Also, are you seriously telling me that in 20 years you never once thought you were literally torturing your son? Sanha begged in front of a close door, crying on his knees and that was what did it for you? Her "redemption" made no sense and lacked sense. She just decided to leave the country, without ever saying sorry or showing an ounce of remorse or guilt for having mistreated his innocent son for two decades. I hated the "closure" they gave to Sanha and his mom.

2. Sanha's dad.
The mom was trash, but the dad was useless. He never once did anything to help his son. He was a grown adult that couldn't even stop his ex-wife from making his son's life absolutely miserable. Every time he had a talk with his ex-wife, he never actually contributed to solving anything and couldn't even protect his son from his clearly sick mother.
He lacked purpose as well. He was there only to complete the family and to serve as another adult in this scenario, but he had no goal and never did anything. His son spent 10 years living a trashy life with his mom and he just let that happen. He never once visited his son, never once tried to help him.
He felt more like a friend of Jeongjae, than like Sanha's dad.

3. Haejoon and his mom.
So, she abandons her son for 20 years, refusing to see him despite actually being able to, and after ONE chat, it was all resolved? Haejoon's mom issue was dragged during the entire serie, but somehow one chat was enough to solve It all and bring his mom back to his life again.
The whole murder and prison thing felt forced. They didnt give us enough details, despite being literally the main reason behind Haejoon's problems during the entire drama. This was such an important event in the drama, yet it felt brushed and ignored. They all made such huge fuss about Haejoon and his mom, only for them to have ONE talk and suddenly be perfectly fine and happy. Sanha's mom and Haejoon's mom issues were the main reason for their misery, yet the closure it was given to both was fast paced and it lacked depth.
This point brings me to the 4th problem.

4. Haejoon's mom and Juwon's dad relationship.
This just came out of nowhere. They saw each other like what? 5 times? And the next thing you know is they are getting married. This relationship made no sense.

5. Sanha and Juwon's romance.
Contrary to a lot of people, I was really looking forward to this romance. It never felt like incest to me, because the writers made it clear the difference between Sanha and Haejoon. Haejoon always had this sibling vide, while Sanha was different.
The thing that bother me the most about the romance was how fast peaced it was.
In the first episodes, you get glimpses of Sanha's feelings towards Juwon, but it's not the main focused and Juwon always thought of him as a brother. Having this in mind, I thought that, for this romance to actually happen, we would get Sanha trying and winning Juwon's heart and seducing her, but that never happened.
In one episode, Sanha confessed to Juwon, she rejected him 2 or 3 times, and then all of a sudden we got a kiss and the start of a relationship. Juwon never thought of him as anything more than a brother, so the fact that it took too little time for her to suddenly change her view of him ruined their romance for me.
I was expecting at least 3 episodes of Sanha flirting with her and she realising slowly that she doesn't hate the idea of dating him and slowly changing the way she saw him. The romance was too rushed, and it started without previous setup.

6. Haejoon's view of his family.
Last but not least, this was something that bothered me a lot while watching the drama. Haejoon never really seemed to consider Jeongjae, Sanha's dad, Sanha and Juwon as his family. He was always looking for more, always wanting his blood-bond relatives.
And of course, this makes sense in his teenage years, since during adolescence one is on their path to discovering themselves. But even after 20 years, he was still saying things like "being the odd one", "being the one left out", even tho he was NEVER considered something other than a member of the family. He never really seemed to actually think "this people, even tho we are not related by blood, is my family and they are enough for me". He was always separating himself from them.
For me, the fact that he never came into terms with his situation kinda ruined the whole message of the show. This was supposed to portray that family Is not only the people related to you, but those who love you and care for you unconditionally, but Haejoon failed to deliver this.
One thing was Sanha, since he had his father with him. But Haejoon was literally adopted by Jeongjae, but he didnt seem to be satisfied with this family.
Also, the fact that Jeongjae and Haejoon's mom married and they became a legal family took away the whole "family by choice" concept.

I enjoyed this show during the first episodes, but I found myself skipping a lot of parts in the later episodes.
Even after saying all of this, I still think this show is worth watching. However, it pains me the poor job of the writers at some moments.

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