Rosie

I understand where you're coming from, but I don’t think it’s about double standards, especially when it comes to trauma and emotional intelligence. Yifan's actions aren’t being excused; they’re being understood in context. Her trauma shapes her decisions, and while she’s not perfect, she’s shown to be struggling with deep emotional scars. That doesn't mean she gets a free pass, but it’s important to understand why she acts the way she does.

As for Sang Yan, his patience is definitely a key part of his character, but that doesn’t mean his reactions are unrealistic. His emotional intelligence and maturity allow him to process things differently, and it’s a characteristic that makes him stand out as a partner. People in real life do handle things with immense patience, especially when they care deeply for someone, but it doesn’t mean they’re perfect or always okay with the situation. His journey is also one of growth, and just because he's patient doesn’t mean he’s not affected by Yifan’s actions.

You’re right that in relationships, people have limits, but the way the drama portrays Sang Yan’s patience and emotional maturity isn’t about him being flawless; it’s about him being the kind of person who is able to navigate these challenges with empathy, something that’s shown in his character. As for double standards, I think it’s often a case of how male characters are perceived in these dramas. There's more pressure on male characters to be tough, to hide emotions, and when they show vulnerability or patience, some people see it as unrealistic or over the top. It's more about expectations placed on men in general, rather than a double standard for both genders in this case.

I understand your frustration with how some users react to criticism, but I don’t think it’s fair to dismiss everyone who defends Yifan as being unreasonable. Her character is not perfect, but I find her actions and growth in the drama to be realistic, especially given the trauma she’s been through. Her decisions in episodes 24 and 25 make sense in the context of her past and her struggle to open up.

As for Sang Yan, I don’t think it’s unrealistic for him to be patient and understanding. Yes, he’s a green flag, but that doesn’t make his behavior less believable. In real relationships, people sometimes handle their feelings differently, and emotional intelligence can play a big role in how partners support each other through tough times. So, I don’t think it’s about demanding perfection but understanding the depth of both characters' experiences and how they connect with each other. I do not intend anything bad in my comment.

💝💝

Calling it a "female fantasy" misses the complexity of their relationship. Sang Yan’s actions come from genuine love, not just being a "doormat." His devotion isn’t about passivity it shows his patience and understanding, even in tough situations. Relationships are complex, and his extreme actions reflect his deep feelings, not a fantasy.

I love her character so much !!!

Wen Yifan is such a well-written character, and I think some people misunderstand her actions because they expect healing to be a straight path. She’s not someone who lacks intelligence or strength she’s someone shaped by years of fear and survival. Trauma isn’t something you overcome just because you’re loved or because you once decided to fight back. Fear lingers, and when she was faced with the same threat again, she reacted in the only way she knew how.

Her decision to leave wasn’t about not trusting Sang Yan or being inconsistent. It was about her, her own unresolved pain, and the way trauma responses can override logic. It’s easy to say, “She should have gone to the police” or “She should have opened up,” but in reality, people don’t always do the most rational thing, even when the choice seems obvious from the outside.

And that’s why I appreciate her character because she’s not just a strong female lead for the sake of being strong. She’s layered, flawed, and real. She loves Sang Yan, but love alone doesn’t erase the past. The way she acts isn’t about noble idiocy or bad writing it’s about realistic struggles.

I hope the show gives her the space to grow, not by forcing her to “be strong” in a way that fits audience expectations, but by allowing her to heal on her own terms.

First of all, no one is saying men shouldn’t have feelings. The idea that Sang Yan is just “there to love FL and not complain” is a huge oversimplification of his character. He does have emotions he gets frustrated, he gets hurt, and he reacts like a real person. Just because he doesn’t walk away doesn’t mean he lacks depth. His love for Wen Yifan isn’t about being a doormat it’s about understanding her struggles and choosing to stay, which is a valid and strong choice.

As for the novel vs. the drama, they are different interpretations. The novel’s version of Sang Yan left because of trust issues, but the drama chose a different approach. That doesn’t mean one is superior to the other it just means the story took a different emotional route.

The claim that “most women who cheat use trauma as justification” is not only irrelevant to this discussion but also a gross generalization. Wen Yifan didn’t cheat. Leaving out of fear and struggling with trauma isn’t the same as betraying someone. This comparison just doesn’t make sense.

Also, calling this a “female fantasy” where the male lead has no depth completely ignores everything we’ve seen of Sang Yan. He has a personality beyond just loving the FL he’s playful, he has his own emotions, his own pain, and his own way of expressing love. If anything, he’s one of the better written MLs in recent dramas because he’s emotionally available without losing his sense of self.

Finally, making predictions about what will happen doesn’t prove anything. You’re assuming the FL won’t apologize or put effort into the relationship when the drama isn’t even finished yet. If you’re going to critique her character, it should be based on what has actually happened, not hypothetical assumptions.

This drama isn’t about making the ML suffer it’s about exploring complex emotions, trauma, and love in a realistic way.

i really liked that scene too 💝

it indeed hurts to see them apart, but i do hope it will be resolved in the next few episodes.

No one’s saying her decision was a smart one, but she genuinely doesn’t know how to fix everything. In her mind, this feels like what’s best for Sang Yan she believes she doesn’t deserve him at all.

I actually don’t feel the same. Hate is a really strong word. I get why people are disappointed, but I don’t think it’s as simple as her wanting to hurt others or ruin her own life. Yifan has been carrying a lot of unresolved pain, and people who haven’t fully healed sometimes make choices out of fear, not with the intention of causing harm. I don’t see it as her breaking trust just to be selfish she’s struggling, and this was her way of coping, even if it wasn’t the best decision. I personally still really empathize with her.

I think it’s possible to understand her decision and still feel it was the right choice for her character, even if it’s not perfect. Personally, I didn’t find the situation as extreme as some people made it out to be, and the constant complaints over it feel a bit much. Everyone reads it differently, but for me, it made sense in the context of her healing, even if others saw it as flawed.

I actually see it a bit differently! While I get why the changes might feel disappointing if you're reading the novel at the same time, I think the drama's approach works well for Wen Yifan's character arc. The disappearance and time skip are definitely more familiar tropes, but in this case, they really highlight just how deeply her trauma was affecting her and why she felt like leaving was her only option.

I do agree the novel handled it with more nuance, but I also think the drama gives us a chance to see Sang Yan’s patience and quiet support in a different light like his visits to her hometown and learning about her past, which I thought added a lot emotionally.

For me, the shift in the storyline didn’t take away from their bond. If anything, it made me more invested in how they’d eventually find their way back to each other, even if the process was messy. I’m honestly just enjoying seeing this version of their story play out, even with the changes!

your welcome.

Her decision was a tough one, but Yifan hasn’t fully healed. If this happened to the male lead, most people would probably give him a pass, but because it’s the female lead, her choice isn’t as accepted. It was a flawed decision, but it’s not uncommon for people who haven't fully healed to make such harsh choices. I don't think they ruined the drama.

It depends on what you said about the character. The user didn't accuse you of anything, so there's no need to make it about yourself.

I do agree with everything you stated !!!

He loves his bar aside from yifan telling him about her dream back in high school.

I think the drama’s portrayal is meant to reflect her emotional journey and personal growth. She’s no longer the same person she was when she first left; she’s been through a lot and is making decisions based on her current state of mind. I don’t think it’s about her being indifferent, but rather a reflection of her inner conflict and the choices she feels are necessary for her healing. It’s tough seeing her struggle, especially with the self-sacrificing tropes, but the drama is showing her grappling with her past while trying to figure out what’s best for herself now.

I see where you're coming from, but I actually don’t fully agree with that view. While I get that the green flag ML trend is really popular right now, I think the additions to Sangyan’s character in the drama are more about enhancing the depth of his bond with the female lead, rather than just ticking off trend boxes. Sangyan was already a great character in the novel, but the drama gave us more insight into his feelings and actions, like playing the game with Yifan or naming the bar after her remark.

To me, these moments show how much he cares and help illustrate how far he’s willing to go for her. It might seem over the top, but it fits the tone of the show and the connection they’re building. I don't see it as forced just as an extension of his love for her. It adds emotional layers to their dynamic, and while it might feel a little idealized, it highlights how different they are in the drama’s context. Ultimately, it doesn’t take away from the essence of his character; it just gives us a deeper look at his dedication.