LissaJones

MY has been literally raised IN a lie her whole life, and her life actually rides on keeping that lie. Not simply to return to her home and family, and be the hero to her people again, but as a warrior, she's not allowed to be in Jixing Abyss either, hence why Mu Qibai wanted her arrested for being MX in episode 13.

With JBZ, as much as she does love him, and he loves her, their relationship started with lies and manipulations. From her perspective, he is actually similar to her mother - he started loving because he found her useful. Her mother only treats her well when she's useful. Love to Ming Yi is a transaction in a way.

And on top of this, as much as JBZ says he trusts her no matter her past, he doesn't live up to that when it counts, as shown in 14 when he locks her up. (I'm not saying he isn't justified in feeling hurt btw) Even in 22, he basically tells her that her not wanting the GMD is a condition of his trust and love. He also actually ignores her attempts to confess, making her clam up, and when she tells the actual truth (about the wine), he dismisses it like it's a joke. Ultimately, given all this, she cannot trust that he would give it to her from love even if we the viewer believe so. Her other frame of reference for love is her mother, and her mother literally made her leave when the lie of her gender was about to be discovered.

Her guilt is also a factor, as much as her fears. Making him choose between her and his master, who he carved a path of bloody revenge for, is not something she'd do after already having hurt him. Better for her to take on the responsibility.

The whole thing was never going to end well, whether they loved each other or not, but especially not for her given her whole life has been a lie. She was damned no matter which way she chose as far as she knew. As least by stealing it, she felt she was protecting him in some way.

I also have suddenly realised that JBZ claiming to have destroyed Embers in 21 makes sense if he's angry with MX over MY's childhood abuse. 😭 Why delete? Why censor?

Aaaaand yup, defo pissed. Could have removed ep 27 SL scenes or his bath scenes (WTF ARE THEY THERE?) to have this scene and ep 19's.
This would have added sooooo much depth to the spirit well scene in 23: why MY won't elaborate and why JBZ is more than a doormat.
Where's a desk? I need to hit my head on it repeatedly in frustration.

I now have an image of him just standing on an island near Wugui, with binoculars waiting to see her cause JBZ won't let him get close. 😂🤮
Thanks

I also don't get how SL conveniently finds her either. Like, did he give her a bell? WHY IS HE THERE?!

I dunno, I feel like sometimes they did a bit too much vague show with JBZ after the break in 23 and before the epiphany in 25, when we needed a bit more tell. What actually compels him to listen to Zhang Tai and get her? He hasn't given any indication of gut feeling, and only vaguely brushes it off as "oh, i wanna question you about that erased testimony". It feels like masochism at that point, at least on the surface. Actually give some reveal of his thought process saying something is weird about MY's proven love, yet stealing the GDM and not saying anything. A flash cut of those proofs and then the odd stealing, anything.

Anyway...

Do you have a link for that scene?

Oh hell no! Really? Where is it?

Yeah, I like ep 19 and rewatched, and the whole ST thing is just like... can you not? It doesn't serve him as much as you think to see him pitiful, since we saw his brother beatdown on him already and he's already in stalker with a crush territory.
Give MY's past depth, my god. We have a solid 10 mins (over all) of JBZ being abused growing up, betrayed, forced labour, fighting, escaping... and MY's background is mostly from her torture. Okay, actually USE that, please. Have them discuss it. Have JBZ actually think that MX is bad for her out of more than jealousy. I agree it would add to the ep 23 angst; she's choosing abuse, an enabler over someone that protects her, in his mind. It hurts yet it makes sense for an abused kid. It might actually explain why he decides to look for her at the market in spite of her betrayal instead of him appearing for... reasons?

(Seriously, I put his appearance down to him kind of being a bit of a doormat in that instance, since he fell badly for her. Or *maybe* his gut fighting his head - like he calmed down just enough to realise something is way off, but his depression feels like he isn’t questioning it so much yet. The link is broken so he's not sensing her pain over 27. But, worrying that without the GMD she'll be abused more makes more sense since it would be an immediate assumption if he thinks she took it for MX.)

Yup.

https://x.com/jijeju5/status/1984951693516349628?t=RhBNu9-8yIARcELbe5I5wA&s=19

Ugh, episode 19 now feels incomplete after learning about the scene they deleted from it, and it's now always going to annoy me 😭. We got extra torture p*rn with ST/CY on a leash begging (we get it, he's weak and can't do anything, and is now forming a weird commonality connection over this in his mind) instead of JBZ reacting to the aftermath of MY's torture and actually questioning why MY fears her mother, thereby learning something about her past. Seriously?! 😑🤬
27, Buxiu and Granny all there, worried, and dear me, actual questions and development about her past. And it was pertinent to how JBZ might just view certain people when he meets them later on? Clearly a superfluous scene. 😡
This is WHY there should be special features or physical copies released. They actually filmed it too. It should be seen.
Okay, rant over.

I think it's sort of glossed over in the start as she is struggling being a girl, and a girl in a relationship. You get shown more than told. And then again in eps 25-27, because JBZ realises the truth and she's really stopped hiding the MX part. The sum of it is how he stares at her over Nirvana whilst she's pointing it at him. That's the instant he sees the real warrior, the forger, the prince(ss) and he just seems to love her more. Her response is largely "well, he still likes me" which I think she finds weird given how much she lied, but she seems to just accept (because, let's face it, he's shamelessly adorable and he does give her space unless ST/CY is sniffing around). They both just seem to think "I've come this far" and go along with it.

It's also surprising for her that he does value only half, because nobody actually has really valued the whole, let alone this "feminine" side that she's not really explored. Everyone valued the "masculine" side, half of which is fake, and they dumped it when she failed. JBZ is literally the first outsider to truly value quite a lot of her real self (and I think he definitely saw more than Zhang Tai, whatever the friendship they had first). I don't think she knew what to do with that, particularly because of the lies and how she was treating "Ming Yi" as a lie, and "Ming Xian" as real. And it surprised the hell out of her he thinks that she has such value as even half a person, let alone the part that's not the champion War God, perfect crown prince.

I do love when she tells ST/CY that. She chooses herself, and she chooses who she loves, and thus the choices that come with that love. She owns her actions and her life, no one else. He never understands that whilst JBZ does.

She's also had examples where he's claimed trust and then shows that he doesn't quite live up to the claim. It's understandable that he is upset at being lied to, but his words and actions do contradict. She never blames him though. But it definitely partly informs her choices however, and this means she feels she can't trust he'd choose her. And her love, and guilt, means she doesn't want to make him.

I think his reaction to the truth comes from seeing that she was unlike others who wanted it: she was only trying to save her life. And that's the cure's actual purpose. Yet, she literally chose repeatedly to disregard her own need in order to help him, love him and risk her life, literally burning it away for him. Then she took all the consequences on her own. That's what gets to him, I think. He has the tangible proof that her love is unconditional like his own, that she does in fact reciprocate. Her actions are also like his own too. That he kept doubting, and failed to see the truth, kind of to suit himself, that's where he breaks. After all this realisation, curing her is paramount for him. Of course he has to save someone who loves him and did all that.

She also didn't want to make him choose between her and his master. She kind of works herself into a hole in a way. On the one hand, she has been conditioned her whole life to never reveal she is Ming Xian and thus a woman, and she's already seen a reaction of what would happen if he finds out (ep 13). Finding out your rival tricked you this way... On the other, she does love him, and trust him up to a point. But he's literally done everything to avenge his master, including using her several times. She has no answer as to whether he'd choose her or Bo Yulan's wishes, and she ultimately can't bring herself to put that on him out of both fear and love. The only way out of the hole is to just force the issue and steal, suffering the consequences either way. Being Ming Xian, she was always going to end up damned no matter what happened. Loving him was just a unexpected factor, but it ultimately doesn't change the fact it was never going to go well.

I thought it was a calm drug or sleepy one, but I realise that she explained it's calming effect when she called it GMD as a feint.
All I've seen about what's in it is that she claimed she was going to take advantage of him in return for him using her in the Hou Zhou case. But I don't quite see her sleeping with him randomly like that, since she seemed so awkward about it every other time.

Yeah, that irritated me too. He's not taking her seriously in that moment, even though he's being serious. I can't tell if it's because he's just feeling to confident or what. But when she lies, he gets angry, but when she tells the truth, he ignores it like it's a joke. He's always a bit blind to the truth though.

I find it a bit hypocritical too. He's gotten so worked up several times at being tricked/lied to, that he doesn't actually seem to take the truth seriously, or even want to hear it when it's not suiting him. (As noted, he has three magical, iron clad proofs that she loves him, but doesn't immediately press as to why she's seeming to contradict those by taking the GMD). He's actually as selfish as MY in this way; he's thinking of himself.

It's understandable. They're both traumatised kids who really have no idea what they're doing; he's simply more aware of his emotions than she is. But his mindset at this point is, I love her and thus I want her to love me, like her actual independence doesn't fathom into it. It's only when he's actually really tested in the aftermath that he kinda realises he didn't love as openly as he claimed he would/could.

(It's a contast to Situ Ling too, in that JBZ finds that he loves the person and her individuality, whether she stays with him or not, whilst SL wants her around to make himself feel better and fulfil the fantasy).

Where'd you learn about the deleted bit?

I like how this explains why he goes completely shameless by ep 26.

Exactly. It's when he really realises that sincerity did happen for her during it all, like for himself, that he gets over the confusion and disappointment. I think it was her sincerity, which he did have proof of, weighing against the shock of knowing he was initially right to be wary of her when they met. And a bit of blindness: it's like he wanted her to be ming Xian's fiancee in a way, since it probably meant one less lie he had to deal with and unpick. That's his angry reaction in the moment, then that gut feeling coupled with his loyalty (as per the comment you put below) causes him to reasses and want to make sense of it all because he love he has is real and he wants it to be real, and he has evidence hers is too.

^^Again, this^^
I do like the affection he seems to have when he tells Buxiu that too. Like, "she was raised to lie, so she's gonna do that, it's kinda quirky".

However much he thought he loved her, I think he knows he wasn't as committed as he claimed until he knew she was Ming Xian and poisoned. That she reciprocated his affection so much that she not only played along for him, but lied for him, took care of his emotional and physical well-being, fought to protect him, his home, people and the Abyss, risking her life more than he knew, whilst also being in physical and emotional torment... that's what really confirms it. Despite him having literal magical proof, it's the self-sacrifice that does it, since nobody has done that for him. And she started that even before she had proof that he didn't poison her to win too. She started helping an enemy/rival in a sincere way outside of the cat-mouse thing they had.

Of course he doesn't want to lose the person who did that. Hence him giving her the cure. Prior to this, it's actually fairly unclear if he would have. Probable but not 100%.