there is no point in discussing with them btw. they're too far gone, but if that helps them feel better about…
Reposting what I wrote in another comment.
Definition from Wikipedia:
"Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.[1] By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious."
With how picky SDM is, she would not have fallen for NDS the way he is, he perpetuated and continued the lie, because at the beginning most of the reason that SDM is in love with NDS is because of things HJP does, and the only reason he loves the real NDS is because he has large hands. So he knew, he needed to further deceive SDM to advance his interest. And he continues to do so, fully knowing that the bigger the lie, the bigger the fall.
According to psychology author George K. Simon, successful psychological manipulation primarily involves the manipulator:[2]
1. Concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors and being affable.
2. Knowing the psychological vulnerabilities of the victim to determine which tactics are likely to be the most effective.
3. Having a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing harm to the victim if necessary.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NDS is 2/3 here. He doesn't qualify for 3, but he does for 1 and 2.
In one, he knows his plan to make SDM fall for the real him, but he keeps a straight face, and even adds to the lie, but on the outside just smiling and further pretending. I mean when it comes to lying he's better at it than HJP.
In number two, he knows that the lie is what is keeps SDM hooked to him, and he continues to use that vulnerability of hers to stay close to her, and make her fall in love with him, fully knowing without that vulnerability of hers, he would not have a chance.
According to Simon, here are some manipulative techniques.
Lying Lying by omission Rationalization Playing the Victim Feigning Innocence Feigning Confusion
Yeah, NDS pretty much checks all of this. So yeah, i'm sticking ot my assertion that he is showing manipulative tendencies, and is in fact being manipulative.
Prove me wrong.
Why would he request something in return for making the app? Was the app only for grandma? did he not upload it to the app store?
Your right, NDS never takes responsibility, and according the preview, he even blames SDM for the reason he could not reveal the truth. He is just doing classic psychological manipulation based on the writings of George K. Simon.
And actually SDM does question her reality, she questions how come this new NDS seems different from 15 years ago NDS.
I'm sorry, but I don't agree when you said NDS is manipulative. Yes he is a liar (please take note that HJP and…
But that's the thing though.
Grandma can never be manipulative, because she's family. And not just any family, but the only family on SDM side. She has been there through thick and thin.
When SDM finds out about Grandma's eyes, did she tell Grandma "Why did you lie to me Grandma? why didn't you tell me that's why you changed the digital lock?" Nope she doesn't because she loves her grandma and even the 15 year old lie will not make her feel her Grandma was manipulating her for Grandma's interest.
On HJP's side on the other hand. KSH is such a great actor, that we visually see that it is killing him, literally killing him that the lie has to continue to SDM, that he cannot tell his real feelings, that he has to be the third wheel. And like i've mentioned in another post, the lie does not benefit HJP at all, so it's hard to call someone manipulative when the lie not only provides the person with no benefit, but actually provides a huge negative.
Because he cannot tell the truth to SDM, their love can never grow.
Do you know what we call someone who does something that negatively affects them? An idiot... HJP literally gets no benefit from continuing the lie, the only winner in all this is NDS, because of the lie he is able to get closer to SDM, to break her walls that has shunned many previous suitors. The lie allowed him an inside track into SDM life that he would not otherwise have gotten.
Yet, we never see NDS thankful to HJP for it, or Grandma, the lie made him.
Actually, I get Reasons why you don't respect him as the ML. Because the writers made it so. But let's see what…
Let's make some things clear. The original lie is the original lie. Grandma and HJP didn't hunt down NDS for fun. SDM feeling inferior from meeting her sister decides she wants to show up her sister with her BF in Dosan. So SDM wants grandma to help her look for NDS. Grandma at this point actually tries to dissuade SDM from looking for Dosan and to stop competing with her sister. But since SDM was not wiling to relent, Grandma did not have a choice, she was not ready to tell SDM the truth about the letters because those letters was a big part of SDM life, and it help shaped who she is right now.
Grandma had no choice, she enlisted HJP's help and they proceed to find the real NDS. But once they find out the real NDS is not someone who would be able to help SDM, they actually abandon their plan, they had no intention of dragging NDS into it. It is only when SDM herself finds the real SDM, that they realize they needed to make the real NDS good enough, albeit temporarily, to make SDM not lose face to the sister.
HJP even has a clear plan of how it would only cost NDS a few hours and he would be free from the obligation.
I believe, HJP, thinking that NDS will not show up, was fully ready to tell SDM everything, that's why he showed up at the party. But then NDS showed up, and didn't give the I have a GF excuse, starting the elaborate lie we see now.
Let's not confuse things, the 15 year lie, of HJP being fake pen pal, is completely different from the NEW lie of NDS pretending to be the 15 year old Dosan and continuing to pretend to be. The new lie is completely in NDS ballcourt. Grandma and HJP never told NDS, ok your going to pretend to be the fake Dosan forever. No, never, it was all NDS idea, he made up the fact that they were brothers as well.
Where exactly does it show Grandma asking NDS to continue lying about the letters? Can you timestamp this please.
Grandma asked HJP to find the real NDS because SDM ask her to, and Grandma knows that it would crush SDM if he could not find the real NDS to bring to WIJ party, specially after she kept bragging to WIJ. This is just Grandma being a Grandma, and doing whatever it takes to make her grand daughter happy.
We can never take HJP's boisterous emotions at face value. He has shown time and time again, consistent with his character, that when faced with the prospect of dealing with his emotions, he either lashes out, he brushes them under the rug, or he downplays it. He has shown this several times, including in the first two episodes.
Actually, we can see that telling the truth isn't becoming a big deal for both Grandma and HJP anymore. In fact in the car, HJP even ask, "Oh, I thought you were going to tell her the truth, what happened".
If HJP wanted to continue the lie, he would have said "I'm glad you decided to take my advice, don't tell SDM the truth"
Notice the difference?
Maybe NJH is not a good actor, because he doesn't sell guilt and remorse well at all.
Sounds like a villainous, manipulative 2ML.So he went from a socially awkward nerd who cannot even look at his…
Yeah, and the thing is he shows no hardship with his new persona.
I mean look at the show Mean Girls. When Lindsay Lohan changed into the hot, mean girl, she starts to realize, this isn't who she is, and she finds a middle ground between her old persona and new one.
I'm sorry, but I don't agree when you said NDS is manipulative. Yes he is a liar (please take note that HJP and…
Personally, I make my declarations, and I back it up with the reasons why I think so. I have an open mind, and if something is able to convince me otherwise, i'm open to changing my thoughts on certain things.
It encourages an actual conversation, where NDS fans can use reasonings as well to back up their fandoms.
When NDS fans just says "nuh uh, your wrong and toxic!" It doesn't create an actual back and forth debate, but rather degrades into base mudslinging.
That is a big part of these comment sections less we forget, where fans of two fandoms can have an actual smart conversation defending their fandoms.
Comments like:
1. Your toxic 2. Your delusional 3. LOL, you crazy HJP shippers
does not help the conversation, but rather detracts from it.
Logic and reasoning, let us use those tools instead.
I'm sorry, but I don't agree when you said NDS is manipulative. Yes he is a liar (please take note that HJP and…
Definition from Wikipedia:
"Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.[1] By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious."
With how picky SDM is, she would not have fallen for NDS the way he is, he perpetuated and continued the lie, because at the beginning most of the reason that SDM is in love with NDS is because of things HJP does, and the only reason he loves the real NDS is because he has large hands. So he knew, he needed to further deceive SDM to advance his interest. And he continues to do so, fully knowing that the bigger the lie, the bigger the fall.
According to psychology author George K. Simon, successful psychological manipulation primarily involves the manipulator:[2]
1. Concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors and being affable.
2. Knowing the psychological vulnerabilities of the victim to determine which tactics are likely to be the most effective.
3. Having a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing harm to the victim if necessary.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NDS is 2/3 here. He doesn't qualify for 3, but he does for 1 and 2.
In one, he knows his plan to make SDM fall for the real him, but he keeps a straight face, and even adds to the lie, but on the outside just smiling and further pretending. I mean when it comes to lying he's better at it than HJP.
In number two, he knows that the lie is what is keeps SDM hooked to him, and he continues to use that vulnerability of hers to stay close to her, and make her fall in love with him, fully knowing without that vulnerability of hers, he would not have a chance.
According to Simon, here are some manipulative techniques.
Lying Lying by omission Rationalization Playing the Victim Feigning Innocence Feigning Confusion
Yeah, NDS pretty much checks all of this. So yeah, i'm sticking ot my assertion that he is showing manipulative tendencies, and is in fact being manipulative.
Prove me wrong.
Why would he request something in return for making the app? Was the app only for grandma? did he not upload it to the app store?
Your right, NDS never takes responsibility, and according the preview, he even blames SDM for the reason he could not reveal the truth. He is just doing classic psychological manipulation based on the writings of George K. Simon.
And actually SDM does question her reality, she questions how come this new NDS seems different from 15 years ago NDS.
Actually, I get Reasons why you don't respect him as the ML. Because the writers made it so. But let's see what…
NDS may not have started it, but he is making it more complex, he is making the eventual reveal much more painful.
Keeping up the lie has no net benefit to HJP and Grandma, they continue the lie so that all this momentum and ambition of SDM doesn't get derailed. Her smile doesn't stop.
Keeping up the lie benefits NDS greatly, as it allows him to be the sole romantic guy in SDM's heart. He even tells SDM, oh just forget that guy from 15 years ago, I mean it's pretty mean to tell SDM to forget her past, and the letters that help her during her hardest times, and keep in mind NDS knows this, but says it anyway.
So yeah, comparing the two, what NDS is doing is what we call manipulative, since he benefits from it.
If we compared the show Start Up to real life, there is no way SDM and NDS would be together, the show's love lines is quite unrealistic.
And if I put myself in their spot, I wouldn't lie in the first place, nor would I continue the lie, so I wouldn't be able to relate.
Sounds like a villainous, manipulative 2ML.So he went from a socially awkward nerd who cannot even look at his…
Honestly, the character is so inconsistently written. The fans call it growth, I call it bad writing on NDS part.
Watch Silicon Valley, the CEO of pied piper, he has a nerd persona, and that permeates until later seasons. And he always stays true to his core values.
Do you know where NDS started to stray from the path of light? After he cut his hair. It's almost like when he cut his hair, he shed his good boy persona and started his dark path.
I still don't understand how NDS doesn't show even a shred of guilt when he's lying. I mean SDM is pretty much touching him and more, yet he still doesn't feel guilty. I mean, what can I say about that?
If you've ever watched any rom-com, you'll know right after the kiss/sex scene, the guy normally fesses up, or at the very least shows immense guilt.
Actually, I get Reasons why you don't respect him as the ML. Because the writers made it so. But let's see what…
Finding the real NDS and pretending to be a hotshot and going to the party, telling SDM he had a GF and leaving, was hitting two birds with one stone.
First, it would help SDM not lose face to her sister, so it's a continuation of Grandma and HJP supporting SDM, and making her happy.
Secondly, it would provide a clean break where SDM would just see 15 year NDS as just her first love and nothing else, as this will show that 15 year old NDS has moved on, and maybe she can move on as well.
HJP's plan was solid as it would provide SDM the closure she needed to stop depending on those letters.
The white lie would have been preserved, and would not have escalated. And who knows, maybe later on, when SDM has a husband, Grandma may reveal the truth.
HJP has been consistent in this regard. I think from the very beginning he has all these feelings for SDM, which resurfaced when he met her again. And HJP has consistently avoided being in the same room as SDM because he is unwilling to face his feelings because deep down he doesn't believe he deserves SDM's love.
Ironically if you think about it, HJP is in love with SDM, but he feels ashamed of accepting her love due to the fact that he has been lying to her for 15 years. So it's consistent with his character, that he wouldn't have been able to go to the party himself. It is only when he realizes that NDS would not be going to the party that he decides to go instead to save SDM face, but too late since NDS is there already.
So HJP feels guilty and remorseful. Something NDS hasn't shown any signs of, FYI.
This is actually a misunderstanding, Grandma doesn't stop NDS from telling the truth about her being fake NDS, but rather she didn't want NDS to tell SDM about the fact that her eyes are failing, something NDS did anyway.
I mean look at this Grandma tells HJP, don't come back when your successful, don't give me money with interest. And HJP respects her decision and doesn't force those issues.
Grandma ask NDS not to tell SDM, but he does anyway. I mean tbh it was such a breach of trust to Grandma, but of course the writer didn't write it that way, instead we show NDS becoming a hero because of it.
The writer and PD must have discussed the plot and story so many times before casting. I don't understand how…
SDM says that HJP is her first love, and the standard he set is actually what makes her so picky, because she hasn't really found anyone else like HJP. Even NDS, she admits does things she doesn't really understand, which means if she met NDS without the 15 year fake story background, very likely she would not be interested in him.
But what we also need to understand is that SDM is also HJP's first love. And from Ep 1, we can see that there is a big chance that HJP himself never had girlfriends similar to SDM. It is when Grandma grills NDS and he is uncomfortable talking about his past girlfriends, probably because there hasn't been any. SDM also set the standard of love very high for HJP.
Actually, I get Reasons why you don't respect him as the ML. Because the writers made it so. But let's see what…
The reason the lie had to be so big and elaborate was really because of NDS and NDS alone.
If it was up to HJP, NDS would take the money, show up at the event, tell SDM he has a GF and it's done.
But instead, NDS falling in love with SDM at first sight, wanted to pursue, fully knowing that doing so would continue the lying.
It left HJP with no choice but to continually cover up for NDS actually.
And when NDS finds out that SDM likes him mostly because of the 15 year past with fake dosan and the only thing she likes about NDS himself is his hands are large. That would have been a big sign that maybe it's time to tell the truth. But nope he doubles down on the lie, hoping to convince SDM that he has changed from his younger self, which adds another layer to the lie.
So the initial lying is HJP and Grandma's fault, but making the lie so big and complex and long was all on NDS shoulders.
God, I hope he doesn't play the victim card, how he was coerced by HJP to lie, that would piss me off lol!
I don't really hate NDS, I just don't respect him. I would never be with a man who thinks like he does. And NDS lies are worse than HJP and Grandmas, IMO.
Both of them weirdly attach emotions to material things.
HJP 1. He equates his feelings for SDM in the form of that fortune plant. 3. He places emotions into the soup that he gets from SDM. 4. He places great emphasis and emotions in the letters to SDM
SDM 1. She places a lot of feeling and emotions into those letters from Dosan 2. She places a lot of emphasis on the music box of her sister WIJ, as it represents his dad's love.
Definition from Wikipedia:
"Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.[1] By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With how picky SDM is, she would not have fallen for NDS the way he is, he perpetuated and continued the lie, because at the beginning most of the reason that SDM is in love with NDS is because of things HJP does, and the only reason he loves the real NDS is because he has large hands. So he knew, he needed to further deceive SDM to advance his interest. And he continues to do so, fully knowing that the bigger the lie, the bigger the fall.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
According to psychology author George K. Simon, successful psychological manipulation primarily involves the manipulator:[2]
1. Concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors and being affable.
2. Knowing the psychological vulnerabilities of the victim to determine which tactics are likely to be the most effective.
3. Having a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing harm to the victim if necessary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NDS is 2/3 here. He doesn't qualify for 3, but he does for 1 and 2.
In one, he knows his plan to make SDM fall for the real him, but he keeps a straight face, and even adds to the lie, but on the outside just smiling and further pretending. I mean when it comes to lying he's better at it than HJP.
In number two, he knows that the lie is what is keeps SDM hooked to him, and he continues to use that vulnerability of hers to stay close to her, and make her fall in love with him, fully knowing without that vulnerability of hers, he would not have a chance.
According to Simon, here are some manipulative techniques.
Lying
Lying by omission
Rationalization
Playing the Victim
Feigning Innocence
Feigning Confusion
Yeah, NDS pretty much checks all of this. So yeah, i'm sticking ot my assertion that he is showing manipulative tendencies, and is in fact being manipulative.
Prove me wrong.
Why would he request something in return for making the app? Was the app only for grandma? did he not upload it to the app store?
Your right, NDS never takes responsibility, and according the preview, he even blames SDM for the reason he could not reveal the truth. He is just doing classic psychological manipulation based on the writings of George K. Simon.
And actually SDM does question her reality, she questions how come this new NDS seems different from 15 years ago NDS.
I would actually like to hear your logical arguments on this matter. As it would help improve my understanding of NDS.
I have an open mind.
And yes, I still think NDS is manipulative.
Grandma can never be manipulative, because she's family. And not just any family, but the only family on SDM side. She has been there through thick and thin.
When SDM finds out about Grandma's eyes, did she tell Grandma "Why did you lie to me Grandma? why didn't you tell me that's why you changed the digital lock?" Nope she doesn't because she loves her grandma and even the 15 year old lie will not make her feel her Grandma was manipulating her for Grandma's interest.
On HJP's side on the other hand. KSH is such a great actor, that we visually see that it is killing him, literally killing him that the lie has to continue to SDM, that he cannot tell his real feelings, that he has to be the third wheel. And like i've mentioned in another post, the lie does not benefit HJP at all, so it's hard to call someone manipulative when the lie not only provides the person with no benefit, but actually provides a huge negative.
Because he cannot tell the truth to SDM, their love can never grow.
Do you know what we call someone who does something that negatively affects them? An idiot... HJP literally gets no benefit from continuing the lie, the only winner in all this is NDS, because of the lie he is able to get closer to SDM, to break her walls that has shunned many previous suitors. The lie allowed him an inside track into SDM life that he would not otherwise have gotten.
Yet, we never see NDS thankful to HJP for it, or Grandma, the lie made him.
Grandma had no choice, she enlisted HJP's help and they proceed to find the real NDS. But once they find out the real NDS is not someone who would be able to help SDM, they actually abandon their plan, they had no intention of dragging NDS into it. It is only when SDM herself finds the real SDM, that they realize they needed to make the real NDS good enough, albeit temporarily, to make SDM not lose face to the sister.
HJP even has a clear plan of how it would only cost NDS a few hours and he would be free from the obligation.
I believe, HJP, thinking that NDS will not show up, was fully ready to tell SDM everything, that's why he showed up at the party. But then NDS showed up, and didn't give the I have a GF excuse, starting the elaborate lie we see now.
Let's not confuse things, the 15 year lie, of HJP being fake pen pal, is completely different from the NEW lie of NDS pretending to be the 15 year old Dosan and continuing to pretend to be. The new lie is completely in NDS ballcourt. Grandma and HJP never told NDS, ok your going to pretend to be the fake Dosan forever. No, never, it was all NDS idea, he made up the fact that they were brothers as well.
Where exactly does it show Grandma asking NDS to continue lying about the letters? Can you timestamp this please.
Grandma asked HJP to find the real NDS because SDM ask her to, and Grandma knows that it would crush SDM if he could not find the real NDS to bring to WIJ party, specially after she kept bragging to WIJ. This is just Grandma being a Grandma, and doing whatever it takes to make her grand daughter happy.
We can never take HJP's boisterous emotions at face value. He has shown time and time again, consistent with his character, that when faced with the prospect of dealing with his emotions, he either lashes out, he brushes them under the rug, or he downplays it. He has shown this several times, including in the first two episodes.
Actually, we can see that telling the truth isn't becoming a big deal for both Grandma and HJP anymore. In fact in the car, HJP even ask, "Oh, I thought you were going to tell her the truth, what happened".
If HJP wanted to continue the lie, he would have said "I'm glad you decided to take my advice, don't tell SDM the truth"
Notice the difference?
Maybe NJH is not a good actor, because he doesn't sell guilt and remorse well at all.
I mean look at the show Mean Girls. When Lindsay Lohan changed into the hot, mean girl, she starts to realize, this isn't who she is, and she finds a middle ground between her old persona and new one.
With NDS, nothing, I see nothing.
It encourages an actual conversation, where NDS fans can use reasonings as well to back up their fandoms.
When NDS fans just says "nuh uh, your wrong and toxic!" It doesn't create an actual back and forth debate, but rather degrades into base mudslinging.
That is a big part of these comment sections less we forget, where fans of two fandoms can have an actual smart conversation defending their fandoms.
Comments like:
1. Your toxic
2. Your delusional
3. LOL, you crazy HJP shippers
does not help the conversation, but rather detracts from it.
Logic and reasoning, let us use those tools instead.
"Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.[1] By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With how picky SDM is, she would not have fallen for NDS the way he is, he perpetuated and continued the lie, because at the beginning most of the reason that SDM is in love with NDS is because of things HJP does, and the only reason he loves the real NDS is because he has large hands. So he knew, he needed to further deceive SDM to advance his interest. And he continues to do so, fully knowing that the bigger the lie, the bigger the fall.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
According to psychology author George K. Simon, successful psychological manipulation primarily involves the manipulator:[2]
1. Concealing aggressive intentions and behaviors and being affable.
2. Knowing the psychological vulnerabilities of the victim to determine which tactics are likely to be the most effective.
3. Having a sufficient level of ruthlessness to have no qualms about causing harm to the victim if necessary.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NDS is 2/3 here. He doesn't qualify for 3, but he does for 1 and 2.
In one, he knows his plan to make SDM fall for the real him, but he keeps a straight face, and even adds to the lie, but on the outside just smiling and further pretending. I mean when it comes to lying he's better at it than HJP.
In number two, he knows that the lie is what is keeps SDM hooked to him, and he continues to use that vulnerability of hers to stay close to her, and make her fall in love with him, fully knowing without that vulnerability of hers, he would not have a chance.
According to Simon, here are some manipulative techniques.
Lying
Lying by omission
Rationalization
Playing the Victim
Feigning Innocence
Feigning Confusion
Yeah, NDS pretty much checks all of this. So yeah, i'm sticking ot my assertion that he is showing manipulative tendencies, and is in fact being manipulative.
Prove me wrong.
Why would he request something in return for making the app? Was the app only for grandma? did he not upload it to the app store?
Your right, NDS never takes responsibility, and according the preview, he even blames SDM for the reason he could not reveal the truth. He is just doing classic psychological manipulation based on the writings of George K. Simon.
And actually SDM does question her reality, she questions how come this new NDS seems different from 15 years ago NDS.
Keeping up the lie has no net benefit to HJP and Grandma, they continue the lie so that all this momentum and ambition of SDM doesn't get derailed. Her smile doesn't stop.
Keeping up the lie benefits NDS greatly, as it allows him to be the sole romantic guy in SDM's heart. He even tells SDM, oh just forget that guy from 15 years ago, I mean it's pretty mean to tell SDM to forget her past, and the letters that help her during her hardest times, and keep in mind NDS knows this, but says it anyway.
So yeah, comparing the two, what NDS is doing is what we call manipulative, since he benefits from it.
If we compared the show Start Up to real life, there is no way SDM and NDS would be together, the show's love lines is quite unrealistic.
And if I put myself in their spot, I wouldn't lie in the first place, nor would I continue the lie, so I wouldn't be able to relate.
Watch Silicon Valley, the CEO of pied piper, he has a nerd persona, and that permeates until later seasons. And he always stays true to his core values.
Do you know where NDS started to stray from the path of light? After he cut his hair. It's almost like when he cut his hair, he shed his good boy persona and started his dark path.
I still don't understand how NDS doesn't show even a shred of guilt when he's lying. I mean SDM is pretty much touching him and more, yet he still doesn't feel guilty. I mean, what can I say about that?
If you've ever watched any rom-com, you'll know right after the kiss/sex scene, the guy normally fesses up, or at the very least shows immense guilt.
First, it would help SDM not lose face to her sister, so it's a continuation of Grandma and HJP supporting SDM, and making her happy.
Secondly, it would provide a clean break where SDM would just see 15 year NDS as just her first love and nothing else, as this will show that 15 year old NDS has moved on, and maybe she can move on as well.
HJP's plan was solid as it would provide SDM the closure she needed to stop depending on those letters.
The white lie would have been preserved, and would not have escalated. And who knows, maybe later on, when SDM has a husband, Grandma may reveal the truth.
HJP has been consistent in this regard. I think from the very beginning he has all these feelings for SDM, which resurfaced when he met her again. And HJP has consistently avoided being in the same room as SDM because he is unwilling to face his feelings because deep down he doesn't believe he deserves SDM's love.
Ironically if you think about it, HJP is in love with SDM, but he feels ashamed of accepting her love due to the fact that he has been lying to her for 15 years. So it's consistent with his character, that he wouldn't have been able to go to the party himself. It is only when he realizes that NDS would not be going to the party that he decides to go instead to save SDM face, but too late since NDS is there already.
So HJP feels guilty and remorseful. Something NDS hasn't shown any signs of, FYI.
This is actually a misunderstanding, Grandma doesn't stop NDS from telling the truth about her being fake NDS, but rather she didn't want NDS to tell SDM about the fact that her eyes are failing, something NDS did anyway.
I mean look at this Grandma tells HJP, don't come back when your successful, don't give me money with interest. And HJP respects her decision and doesn't force those issues.
Grandma ask NDS not to tell SDM, but he does anyway. I mean tbh it was such a breach of trust to Grandma, but of course the writer didn't write it that way, instead we show NDS becoming a hero because of it.
But what we also need to understand is that SDM is also HJP's first love. And from Ep 1, we can see that there is a big chance that HJP himself never had girlfriends similar to SDM. It is when Grandma grills NDS and he is uncomfortable talking about his past girlfriends, probably because there hasn't been any. SDM also set the standard of love very high for HJP.
That's quite the big assumption.
Let me tell you, NDS knows what he is doing, he's not the victim in this.
How would you defend what nds has done?
If it was up to HJP, NDS would take the money, show up at the event, tell SDM he has a GF and it's done.
But instead, NDS falling in love with SDM at first sight, wanted to pursue, fully knowing that doing so would continue the lying.
It left HJP with no choice but to continually cover up for NDS actually.
And when NDS finds out that SDM likes him mostly because of the 15 year past with fake dosan and the only thing she likes about NDS himself is his hands are large. That would have been a big sign that maybe it's time to tell the truth. But nope he doubles down on the lie, hoping to convince SDM that he has changed from his younger self, which adds another layer to the lie.
So the initial lying is HJP and Grandma's fault, but making the lie so big and complex and long was all on NDS shoulders.
God, I hope he doesn't play the victim card, how he was coerced by HJP to lie, that would piss me off lol!
I don't really hate NDS, I just don't respect him. I would never be with a man who thinks like he does. And NDS lies are worse than HJP and Grandmas, IMO.
Both of them weirdly attach emotions to material things.
HJP
1. He equates his feelings for SDM in the form of that fortune plant.
3. He places emotions into the soup that he gets from SDM.
4. He places great emphasis and emotions in the letters to SDM
SDM
1. She places a lot of feeling and emotions into those letters from Dosan
2. She places a lot of emphasis on the music box of her sister WIJ, as it represents his dad's love.