CoffeeBlender

Everyone? Bet you did not see comments that said they started to watch this show because of Suzy or NJH but ended up dissatisfied because of the poor writing of this drama.

I'm curious, what made you love this drama then?

Note: I have no problem with KSH being the second lead and I did not want him to end up with Dalmi.

I think you have put words in my mouth based on your comment. No way was I saying that Jipyung was perfect. I never even mentioned him in my comments and I personally think that Jipyung does not match well with Dalmi given that they have different core values as they look at the world differently, with Jipyung being on the realistic side and Dalmi being on the idealistic/change the world side.

If you read my comment again, my comment about NDS was in the context of how he handles his relationships, with emphasis on his romantic relationship. It does not mean that just because a lot of people a particular character flaw, as you termed it, does not make it toxic behavior. Also, please take note that I never called him a toxic person. I found wisdom while watching Dr. Phil when he guested in Oprah in the late 90s that when correcting someone, we should focus on the behavior, not the person, hence my term toxic behaviors. But anyway, this definition is how I also define toxic behaviors - "toxic behavior is anything that poisons a relationship and could limit another person’s growth." Source: https://blogs.webmd.com/mental-health/20190402/you-may-have-toxic-behaviors-youre-not-aware-of#:~:text=As%20such%2C%20toxic%20behavior%20is,could%20limit%20another%20person's%20growth.

As for the lie regarding him cheating when he was young and the what if scenario, I mentioned this as an alternative direction of the story. That is to justify the angst of Dosan towards his father to the point of not contacting him for three years. He may have felt the pressure from his father (but later on, he did apologize to CS and YS for being an ‘incompetent’ CEO) especially as he was not seeing any progress from his investment but still, he did invest. Any other investor would have done the same after not seeing any considerable progress (and them buying appliances that were non-essential) after two years. Now his guilt eating him inside and subsequently eating his self-esteem resulted in a toxic behavior because he felt so intimidated by Jipyung to the point of signing a contract with Alex which ultimately disbanded the whole SST team. Another example of a person who was eaten by guilt was the character of Ha Seok Jin in 'When I was the most beautiful' to the point that he pushed away his family who still loved him even after nearly causing the severe injuries/deaths of his brother and his father (his father ended up with permanent damage in his leg.) But you see, not all people who are eaten by guilt end up developing related toxic behaviors.

Now, comparing the relationship of Dosan and Jipyung regarding not contacting their parents/grandma is like comparing apples and oranges. We are talking about Dosan and his biological parents whom he has known since he was born. On the other hand, Jipyung is an orphan and thus, when grandma whom he knew for only a few months told him not to contact him after feeling shameful for accusing grandma of ‘stealing’ his money given that his personality was so closed off, it would be out of character for him to continue contacting her. It was actually harsh of grandma to tell him that knowing that he is an orphan as that is a sign of rejection. Also, while not talked about in the drama, even if he wanted to find her, the store of grandma was already sold. It’s actually a plot hole for me that he followed Dalmi after the talk. We have been shown that he followed Dalmi after the talk because her name rang a bell and the information that was revealed – her having beef against Injae regarding a family issue, made him curious as to whether she was indeed Dalmi from his past. It would have been better if Jipyung and grandma in some other way that was more true to the character of Jipyung.

Regarding his lies hinting at a relationship with Dalmi, the last episode of the drama I watched was episode 14 as I just relied on episode spoilers for episode 15 and 16 so I can only comment regarding the elevator scene. The intention of JP was because Dalmi did not want to be seen down and out and JP regretted doing that and informed Dalmi about it and even encouraged Dalmi to find Dosan. Was there some self-interest there? Sure. However, he felt remorseful with what he did. Now regarding lying to himself and grandma about his emotions, the way I remember it, he did not fully accept yet his emotions and even if he lied, he did face the consequence of that and grandma even asked him why he did not say yes when he was asked if he liked Dalmi. Do I consider this lying about emotions a toxic behavior? No.

Now, with regards to your point of him being an arrogant jerk. Show showed us that he had to re-evaluate himself once he was accused to be the cause of the suicide of the brother of Yong San. I did not find the way that he spoke to grandma in the first episode acceptable given the hierarchical system in Korean society (he was too confrontational to me and I have witnessed from my close Korean friends how important language is when they talk to someone older) but his behavior is in line with being closed off due to him being an orphan (hello trust issues). With regards to how he turned down SST during the first episode, yes, he could have framed his words differently. However, I did not see that he intended to look down at them as he showed genuine concern for SST later on. Did I see character growth in Jipyung? Yes, that is because he apologized to Yong San but Yong San later on realized that he was just trying to find an escape goat.

Yes, grandma was wrong for wanting to keep her eye condition from Dalmi but still, it is not Dosan’s story to tell. He should have respected grandma’s wishes. Even health care professionals are prohibited by law to divulge the medical condition of their patients without their consent. I see this point in the story as a plot hole to prolong the reveal of the truth regarding Dosan’s identity at the expense of Dosan’s character growth story.

I am not looking for a perfect character. As I have said earlier, we are all imperfect. However, the writers did him dirty by making him end up with Dalmi even though he had significant unresolved issues that would, if we extend the drama and show what would have happened after they got married, cause significant issues in their marriage. (A red flag I saw was Dosan hitting Jipyung and him asking for his help without apologizing). I hoped that the writers made an effort to show the growth of Dosan but I was disappointed. We are all unique but then again, there are character traits that are essential to make a relationship work (that is why marriage counselors and other related occupations exist). Unfortunately, up until the very end, when Dosan promised that he will make Dalmi’s dreams come true and that did not sit well with me because he should let Dalmi grow on her own.

Because? What about the last episode would make us change our views of the drama?

I'm also speechless with the ending. It's really hard to believe this drama is the work of the same writer because I enjoyed her previous works. And it even took two years for the writing of this drama.

Perhaps they wanted to show that love conquers all. Problem is, relationships are more than emotions. They are each other's first relationship so they may be naive but three years of separation should have made them more mature, especially for Dosan. It would have been better if they showed Dosan realizing that life is more than his love life but the drama ended up with him still revolving his life around Dalmi and getting married at that. The problem with this kind of relationship is that if for example they will have conflict (and all married couples do have conflicts), Dosan will end up devastated and may be even self-destructive and blame Dalmi for his unhappiness. At the end of the day, a person's happiness depends on himself/herself alone.

The writing should have showed the viewers that Dosan changed because while we are all different, there are character/personality traits that are needed to make a relationship work.

Yes, we are all different and imperfect. However, the drama showed us that even after three years, he still needs a lot of growing up. In the last episode, he promised to fulfill Dalmi’s dreams. As romantic as it sounds, that is unhealthy. Why? Because his world revolves around Dalmi. Of course drama showed us that they got married but in real life, such a relationship is toxic. I’ve been there, done that. Ending such a relationship was one of the best decisions I have done.

What an underwhelming ending. As they walk hand in hand and as the days go by, reality will hit them. Are they really compatible enough to survive other issues other than business issues? Most of all, why was there no proper ending for HJP. What kind of writing is this?!?!

Anyway, thank you for posting the spoilers. Saves me time from watching this poorly written drama.

I hope that he also understands now why his father was impatient after investing in SST (flashback to episode 1).

Their relationship is just unhealthy.

Well the way I see it, s/he wished the writer made Nam Do San more mature hence the term horrible love triangle. This reflects how maturity is an important trait for him/her. Also, as you can see in the numerical value, the story got 1.5 but the other aspects of the drama got different scores. Reviewer also said the drama was okay for the first seven episodes. Lastly, a review is a personal opinion.

Could you please explain why you consider this garbage review?

My bad. I read an incorrect article before. I double checked and for the four episodes, PL was number one then became number 2 the following weeks. The difference between SU and PL is just small though (like 3 points) on flixpatrol. Last month, SU ranked first (291), PL ranked second (267) and DDSSLLS ranked 4th (145)

To be fair with Private Lives, it ranked first in Netflix Korea during its run though it did not create any buzz in my country.

I do not consider Do San as evil. He did go to the party in episode 1 to help Dal Mi even though he did not know her and even helped Chul San when he had an issue with ransom ware in his former company. However, his personal issues led him to exhibit toxic behaviors with his interactions with Dal Mi, Ji Pyeong and even the way he handles business matters as he cannot separate personal with business issues. I also can’t find any justification as to why he never contacted his parents for three years. I get that he has an issue with his father but why could he not see that his father supports him? He was the first investor of SST. And even if let’s say he wants to stay away from his father, why cut off contact with his mother as well? Will this also mean that if in the future he will have a misunderstanding with Dal Mi and decides to stop talking to her for a while, does not mean to say that he won’t talk to their kids (if they have)?

I also wished that the three year time skip was an opportunity for Do San but as you said, it’s not enough.

I blame the sloppy writing for all of these. I get that there are people saying that they connect with the character of Do San as they are struggling with insecurities and pressure from expectations. However, the story has shown us that he has gotten away from lying and even violence. It would have been better if he was upfront with the cheating when he was young and because of this, his father considered him as a disgrace. But he kept silent about it and it took him many years to admit what happened but in between that, we see that his parents did support him financially. His father being angry with the direction of SST in the beginning of the drama was warranted. If I were to invest in something and not see any progress for two years, I would be concerned as well. Also, being pissed that Dal Mi is the CEO was just normal behavior as he was the biggest investor. Do San should have told his father even as the issue of who will become CEO was still being tackled. He also cannot keep a secret which irks me because it is Dal Mi’s grandmother’s call when to reveal her eye condition.

I started watching this drama with the word inspirational at the back of my mind but even In Jae’s story was meh as she used Dal Mi’s story to earn brownie points.

They just did a Nam Do San move on you. They can’t take the truth in the criticisms and observations of this show so they just did an immature move of deleting your account. Perhaps this is only the start and other accounts will be suspended as well.

I would feel bad, too. But be assured that many of us read and appreciated your posts.

Wow, that’s pretty low. I’ve read a lot of your posts and I can’t find any reason why you were banned. All of your posts were well thought of and respectful and are no way spam.

Fairy tales end with “and they lived happily ever after.” Of course this is not true in real life. However, much as this drama is just a story, I just cannot imagine SDM and NDS having a generally happy and healthy relationship. Outside of the business context and aside from their feelings for each other, what connects them? I can’t even imagine them having an honest conversation about say, the number of children they will have.

Of course we are all imperfect but the imperfections of NDS are just too glaring to the point that he’s just not ready for any romantic relationship. As mentioned by a lot already, depending your happiness on a person is unhealthy.

While episode 12 was frustrating to watch, I do not find it as lazy writing or writing that is 90’s or 2000’s style. I have a friend like Song Ah. We’ve been friends for 20 years and she experienced a lot worse than Song Ah but is still unable to find courage to stand up for herself regardless of countless advices. This is why I understand why 12 episodes in, she is not able to stand up to her professor. I also consider Korean culture where respecting authority is a core value when assessing Song Ah’s behavior.

Do I find her serious about her passion for the violin? Yes. She practiced even while doing her internship and she even practices at home to the point that she has a bruise on her neck and the bruise is like a permanent mark on her neck already. Being serious about something does not mean neglecting relationships or potential relationships. For me, Song Ah meeting and dating Joon Yong lead to a road of questions which she was already facing but this time, it is glaring to the point that she has to face them – should she pursue her passion for the violin when she started late in life and that she does not have the natural talent for it? Let’s face it, those questions are real and important. Should you pursue something that you love but when ranked with other people, you are not good enough? Or should you quit and find something that you are good at even though you don’t have much passion for it? Obviously, Song Ah is good at doing office-related work. Most likely, she would not pursue grad school if she was not approached by that user professor. She wanted to learn but her professor obviously has no interest in improving the skill of Song Ah hence her disappointment. To phrase the questions Song Ah is facing differently, how far should you pursue a course if your grades are low or when you fail to get into the quota? Should you push and push until you get kicked out of your program or should you just shift to another course?

People gossiping about them, which is normal too. A person being too good for another based on looks and income have been tackled many times. This time, we get to see a something a bit different – based on talent and its accompanying fame. I know that some people are saying that this is cliché but this happens in real life, especially in Korean society where competition and ranking is a staple of life. Many celebrities even hide the fact that they are dating because it can destroy their marketability. Also, remember the reaction of people when the relationship of Lee Hyori and her husband Lee Sang Soon became public? Even on-screen pairings like Kim Go Eun and Gong Yoo as well as Kim Go Eun and Lee Min Ho was criticized because according to the comments, she is not good enough for these actors. Correct me if I am wrong but Kim Go Eun stayed silent about it and it was Gong Yoo who defended her, albeit indirectly. Song Ah is human hence she is affected though she would not be that affected if she is confident about herself and is confident when playing the violin.

Also, the two of them dating while having baggage is something that did not sit well with me. However, this is realistic too. There are many people who enter a relationship even if they have unresolved issues and worse, they enter a relationship for the wrong reasons. But for these two, while their own personal issues are obviously putting a strain into their relationship, they decided to date because they liked each other. Song Ah did not date him to boost her self-esteem. JY also did not date her because he viewed Song Ah as an emotional anchor. Hence, the question that this drama will also answer is, can their relationship survive as the two of them struggle with their personal issues? Or will they breakup and later reconcile when they have resolved their issues?

While there are scenes in the drama which are difficult to watch and characters whose behavior I find appalling, I find them realistic.

Yes. I watched this week’s episode of Radio Star where Joo Won and the other guests were promoting their play and Joo Won said that the filming of Alice was already finished.

I personally don’t feel any romantic vibe from Jin Gyeom and Tae Yi (2020) though. The lyrics of the song Whenever Wherever Whatever that usually plays when they have a “romantic” moment is like Jin Gyeom’s mother talking to Jin Gyeom.