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Sammo does John Woo

If you only know Sammo Hung for his more happy-go-lucky roles, then Eastern Condors will be a massive shock to the system, going as far as to tread into John Woo's territory of heroic bloodshed. Taking the idea of The Dirty Dozen but setting it in Vietnam, Sammo got serious with this one, even cutting his trademark hair and slimming right down. There are no mincing words about how brutally violent Eastern Condors gets... Hands get chopped off, Vietcong kids play Russian Roulette and people are shot point blank with no hesitation, in the wrong hands it's distasteful stuff, but Sammo treats it all with sincerity, marking this film out as one of his finest accomplishments as an actor, martial artist and director.

Although the majority of the action is hyper-intense gun fights occasionally punctuated by a familiar moment seen in Western war films like The Deer Hunter or the Rambo franchise, there is a spectacular final bout of full-contact fisticuffs for the patient ones among you. The cast is populated by plenty of familiar names and faces, although I do wish they got a bit more characterisation outside of their nicknames and who plays them, they all commit often coming away bloody and bruised from the hyper-dangerous stunt work. For better or worse, Eastern Condors has a gritty edge that makes it truly stand out amongst Sammo's filmography often feeling like what Heroes Shed No Tears had originally wanted to be, it's an absolute must-see!

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Exhausting

Exceptionally convoluted and deliriously nihilistic, Genocide is appropriately harrowing and periodically bonkers if a little middling around the second act. The second of only two movies from director Kazui Nihonmatsu, having previously helmed The X from Outer Space, Genocide is all over the place with enough hair-brained ideas to fill two movies let alone a single 84-minute one, primarily the hallucinogenic bees being bred by an insane holocaust survivor. Nihonmatsu handles the film with considerably more skill than his prior effort, there's a wider variety of shots and a better building of suspense thanks in part to the photography of Shizuo Hirase and the passable score from Shunsuke Kikuchi. It's very much an accident of a film, suitably ambitious and apocalyptic in its finality, ultimately hinging on the potential detonation of a hydrogen bomb and the single mother who may have to single-handedly repopulate a country. Genocide is an exhausting yet very rewarding experience, showcasing so pretty damn good filmmaking for its small budget but, as noted before, has too much plot for its own good.

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Watch the HK Cut

The answer is Jackie Chan. Who Am I? sees Jackie tackle the amnesiac spy thriller years before the Matt Damon shaky cam series and although a lot of the acting from its supporting cast leaves a lot to be desired (almost to the point of brain dead), the action more than makes up for it. The story feels unnecessarily complex and often messy but makes for an otherwise very compelling mystery (provided you watch the right version) in one of Jackie's more serious turns ala Crime Story. Benny Chan's direction is all pretty solid and Nathan Wang's score is decent if very dated, but seeing it paired with Jackie running around causing mass destruction in the Netherlands all while clad in a pair of clogs was truly a sight to behold. Despite a tepid first half, the film picks up steam with some great action, a fantastic car chase and the usual death-defying stunts in the second, with the rooftop fight easily ranking as one of his best, it's all just as imaginative and energetic as his early works even with Chan's advancing age.

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Another one for the “Toshio Masuda is one of Japans most underrated directors” pile.

There's something strangely perfect about Zero being directed by Toshio Masuda, having been kicked out of the kamikaze in 1944 for being excessively liberal and pacifistic. It's a real treat to finally see another one of his war epics after so many years, this time him and him alone in the chair. Based on a serialized story by Kunio Yanagida, this is the story of the Mitsubishi Zero through the eyes of the engineers who designed the plane and the pilots who flew it.

Shoichi Hamada is a pilot flying the Imperial Navy's ace in the hole, the Mitsubishi A6M Zero, during the first years of the war the Zero is seemingly unstoppable, shooting down almost every type of plane the allies send at them. Hamada's best friend is Kunio Mizushima, assigned to the ground crew, they are both in love with one girl… but will the ravages of war tear them apart?

Toshio Masuda's direction is simply sublime, taking what worked on Tora! Tora! Tora! over a decade ago and bringing it back tenfold. It is clear Masuda had no love for war and thus directs the film with a dash of gritty realism, unflinching in its portrayal of death, bad decisions and ultimate endeavour for a lost cause. By stark contrast when the film isn't wowing you with its climatic and brutally intense battle sequences, it shines with a glorious use of colour.

The plotting is well done, keeping the story of the Zero first and foremost while framing the story of the young pilot around it. Masuda seemingly backhands the naval authorities for using the pilots as expendable property. In general, the film has no respect for higher authorities, portraying most of them as simply using their soldiers, and not caring about their lives. The story is told in reverse, starting from 1944 and going in reverse to 1937. The pacing is well done, keeping everything at about the same level.

The acting is great on most parts, and even the expats seem to be doing well, it's often noted how poor a lot of them were in Japanese films of the era but here they do a standup job. As for the main characters, they are directed with enthusiasm that goes with their youthfulness. The love triangle is directed well but in a way, it's almost like a precursor to the later Michael Bay shakey-cam fest, Pearl Harbour, ending on that usual "war romance" subversion.

Daijiro Tsutsumi as Hamada brings all sorts of emotions to the table, and by the end, it is clear the Japanese war machine has become him. Kunio Mizushima, played by Jun Hashizume, shows clear concern for his friend as well as a great love for the female love interest, Shizuko Yoshikawa. Shizuko Yoshikawa, herself is a very well-done love interest. She clearly has a mixed bag of emotions for the two leads and loves them both on different levels. Tetsuro Tamba's brief appearance as Isoroku Yamamoto casts him as a very sympathetic man, clearly concerned for the lives of his young pilots despite only appearing for about 5 minutes. Shin Takuma does well as Teruo Tojo, the Zero's financier and Mitsubishi Motors president, showing quite a youthful energy and enthusiasm for his character.

The special effects by later Biollante to Destoroyah Effects Director Koichi Kawakita are very well done, clearly showing off just as much enthusiasm for pyrotechnic effects as his teacher Teruyoshi Nakano. The miniatures look great, and it’s nice to see a few Zero miniatures portrayed accurately as white in the opening 30 minutes. The camera angles during the air battle scenes are daring, and Kawakita makes use of frenetic camera movements during the battle scenes to enhance the combat. There is quite a bit of stock footage in the film, all the way from Storm of the Pacific to Kawakita's own Zero Pilot and to The Imperial Navy, but the original effects all look fantastic and blend very well with Kawakita's efforts.

The music by Harumi Ibe has a dated late 70s-early 80s quality that actually works for the film, and the score uses a lot of horns as well as 70s-style guitar work that make it clear Ibe was primarily used to the 70s style of composing and hadn't quite made the jump to the 80s sound design yet. Even then it's a great score and the film's theme song, Dawn, is sung beautifully by Yujiro Ishihara. Befitting the film's historic ending scene well.

Overall, I can't recommend Zero enough. It's clear how much Toho bought their A-Game in 1984, between this, The Return of Godzilla and Sayonara Jupiter, their tokusatsu efforts were on top form. If you ever get the chance to see it, do so.

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A perfect companion to Oppenheimer

The Man Who Stole the Sun treads the finest of lines in trying to balance its subject matter and tone, but Kazuhiko Hasegawa's controversial movie about nuclear terrorism is a darkly comedic and thrilling satire on a subject once considered unsatiriseable annihilating any form of genre borders in the process. Holding particular resonance for Japanese audiences, as while the country does use nuclear power, it has long held against amassing a nuclear arsenal due to the devastating effects that ended World War II. The movie doesn't stop dead for any form of long-winded nationalistic or philosophical speeches and instead insists on a conceivable reality with seemingly no motivation.

One of only two movies directed by Kazuhiko Hasegawa, which in turn feels like a crime in itself, Hasegawa rewards the viewer with some utterly sublime direction and excellent framing, with plenty of thrilling action set pieces to command his viewer's attention at all times (the car chase feels like it was ripped right out of a Ringo Lam movie). It balances the unorthodox nature and tone of the movie exceptionally well, juxtaposing the shifts with unnatural ease. Complimented by funky and often ill-fitting music by Takayuki Inoue to glorious success.

The performances are all excellent, with Kenji Sawada playing the everyman gone rogue with an endless amount of animosity slowly succumbing to the effects of radiation poisoning making him more and more unpredictable as the movie goes on. But it's the award-winning performance from the stoic and hardened Bunta Sugawara that really captivates me as he normally does in his roles, single-minded and exceptionally driven.

Overall, The Man Who Stole the Sun, even at two and a half hours long, never feels overly long or bloated. The film absolutely refuses to limit itself, and that's why it's so entertaining and impressive.

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Fun if uninspired sequel

Takashi Miike's loose and belated sequel to The Great Yokai War, Guardians is much more of the same, so if you liked the previous adventure, you'd like this. It's made for kids so accessibility is a key factor to its appeal, meaning there's not much meat to its story beyond your standard hero's journey, but just because it's more kid-friendly doesn't mean it lacks a lot of wacky, and sometimes downright disturbing, imagery courtesy of the Yokai themselves which are brilliantly realised (both east and west alike). Miike even managed to bring back our great guardian god Daimajin for an extended cameo which put a big smile on my face knowing he was originally lined up to direct a film reboot in the late 2000s. Fox-Faced Woman also was 😳.

While there's certainly a lot of love and creativity put into this movie, I can't deny like the previous film, it certainly has its faults. The child-friendly tone does its story no favours, especially in the final act where you'd normally find Miike going hell for leather, it falters. The overreliance on CG like the last, has dated the film extremely quickly although Japan has never really had the best of results with this technology. Regardless, for what it's worth, The Great Yokai War –Guardians– is a fun romp but extremely subdued Miike which is saying a lot.

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Verstility is the name of the game

Original Hong Kong Version

Even with this ancient DVD print full of screen tearing and damaged frames, God of Gamblers showcases one of Chow Yun-Fat's most versatile performances effortlessly switching back and forth between impeccably suave and utterly adorable on a dime. Backed by the ever-amazing Andy Lau, it's really only two extremely questionable moments that hold this film back from being rated any higher. Even then Wong Jing's intense gambling drama is a classic of Hong Kong cinema and one I will definitely pick up on Blu-ray. I do question the sheer number of sequels and spin-offs though with one of them being a time travel story... Nonetheless, sign me up.

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Juvenile 2.0

Ghost Book feels deeply reminiscent of Yamazaki's debut film, Juvenile (hell, even the adorable little Tetra makes a cameo appearance), a lighthearted family romp often dealing with some relatively difficult themes for its target audience. There's an element of Pokémon thrown into the narrative with the film's characters tasked with "catching them all", benefiting this narrative hook is the lovely monster design, stellar voice work by legendary voice actors such as Akio Otsuka and Rie Kugimiya; and their impressive realisation capturing the essence of Etsuyoshi Miyamoto's original illustrations brilliantly. Unfortunately, the characters are all exceptionally one note, despite the cast's rather heartwarming performances they are probably the most laid-back group of ghostbusters ever, often characterised by very limited personalities (I swear Kudo is just a few steps away from being a full blow serial killer) or singular traits. There's no urgency with this film, it just kind of chugs along at its own pace, often leaving room for a nice family dinner despite the race to get home. That being said, Ghost Book operates on a level of childish fun, obvious in its sentiment and simplistic in its messages. However, it makes up for its narrative wateriness with a wholesome vibe you can't bring yourself to hate.

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Exploring the darker edges of eeriness, sexuality, and bizarre, horror-esque art with unconventional layers of psychological deviance, Rampo Noir is challenging as it is horrifically disturbing, presenting the writer's fiction in radical ways, hoping to push boundaries but never quite succeeding. Partly due to the violent, sadomasochistic sex scenes that often crop up, but also because it's not always immediately clear what the filmmakers are trying to say, thanks to their ponderously slow approach. There's only so much time you can spend on artistically rotting corpses and auditory excess before you're going to annoy someone, but the film remains consistently refreshingly and cinematically striking with an unabashed eroticism and willingness to plunge into the dark realms of Rampo's work. Each director breathes life into their own respective take on the material, all have a unique visual style, which help draw you into their strange worlds, be it exploitation or arthouse; each segment carves its own identity, although, admittedly, some more to my taste than others, with the high points being the two segments that bookend the feature and, ironically, come from the two newcomers. Suguru Takeuchi delivers a full-on avant-garde experimental and introspective short, full of evocative imagery in what is a beautifully surreal and breathtakingly stunning, if bitterly short, dive into existential dread. Atsushi Kaneko, meanwhile, more well-known for his status as a mangaka, makes an impressive directorial debut with the finale, blending his usual sensibilities with a lush cinematic intensity and plenty of darkly comedic moments. That being said, the other two segments are far from a slouch. Adapting his third Rampo tale, Akio Jissoji's usual keen eye for composition and signature stylistic flourishes turn his short into a mesmerising fever dream. Hisayasu Satō, meanwhile, delivers a grimly gruesome tale, taking Rampo's work to its most grotesque extreme, containing mutilation and plenty of bodily fluids. It's presented with an unusual use of light and colour, as unsettling as it is provocative, a visceral commentary on physical and emotional dependency. Despite the mismatched feel of the whole affair, Rampo Noir's hallucinogenic approach to narrative and visuals is nothing short of invigorating.

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Taking punk to a whole new level and meticulously tailored to weigh on its audience, 964 Pinocchio is an exhausting watch; the constant presence of screaming, yelling, grunting and whining bears its own unique sense of torture. A raw, hand-tooled vision that unfolds with visceral and stomach-churning intensity, Shozin Fukui throws shades of disturbing, comedic, messed-up, revolting, and mesmerising at you all at once in a breakneck charge through a brutal and uncaring post-industrial netherworld. The filthy, grimy aesthetic and relentless wallowing won't appeal to everyone, as it screams in your face and refuses to apologise for any of its repulsive imagery. However, the film presents a compelling concept to you, delving into it wildly once you're settled in, bearing all the hallmarks of an endurance test, complete with frenetic editing and off-the-wall acting choices, with mental anguish far exceeding physical tolerance. What 964 Pinocchio lacks in polish or budget, it makes up for with a visual intensity matched only by the sheer, uncompromising determination, hysterical pacing and the utterly demented insanity of its soundscape. It has an undeniable charm, but what exactly that is, is for you to decide.

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Boasting a title only 90s Hong Kong cinema could conjure up, The Holy Virgin Versus the Evil Dead is both enticing and misleading, yet tenuously sums up the basic premise of what could be thinly labelled as a plot. Everything comes thick and fast. Opening with a Bond-esque title sequence, we are under little illusion of what to expect. A gratuitous mix of sex, violence and martial arts, the film is dumb, messy and loaded with excessive nudity, but if you can get past the cack-handed execution, you'll find yourself in for a wild ride. Director Lu Chun-Ku delivers plenty of bright colours and hyperactive camerawork with a vigorous exuberance to the proceedings that ensures the film never sits still long enough to be boring, no matter how confusing the story gets. The film just careens through a half-dozen genres, like a priest with a short attention span, delivering a delirious mess of supernatural sleaze, wire flying action and sexploitation horror; the balance is very askew. I don't think the filmmakers were inept, just horrifically misguided to the point of hilarity. The cast ultimately end up losing out to all the boobs and gore, so I don't really blame some of them for phoning it in. Donnie Yen, Ben Lam and Ken Lo do get the opportunity to show off, however fleeting it might be, while Sibille Hu is around for about ten minutes, mostly to complain and swear a lot. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what I say about The Holy Virgin Versus the Evil Dead, even if it doesn't contain any of the latter part of its title; it's worth the price of admission for said title alone. It's stupid enough fun to forgive its glaring shortcomings with enough stylistic flourishes here and there, plus copious amounts of boobage, to keep an otherwise low-budget production from falling apart at the seams.

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Kung Fu Cannibalism

Forgoing the psychedelic arthouse ambitions of his feature debut for down and dirty exploitation, Tsui Hark's We’re Going to Eat You is an unlikely and unsettling combination of a cannibal film fused with the slapstick of The Three Stooges. Although essentially humorous, the film can suddenly shift and present some genuinely unsettling scenes. The bloodlust and an appetite for human flesh being played for laughs is disturbing, but the sheer irreverence makes the overly sardonic tone so effective. The frenetic direction, editing and camerawork mix splatter, slapstick and mad martial arts choreographed by Corey Yuen to often impressive effect. However, the non-stop barrage of chases, hair-raising close calls and near-death escapes, a structure obviously indebted to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, grows tiresome and repetitive. Typically for a Hark film, characters frequently espouse personal philosophies, trying to make sense of an often chaotic universe. However, amidst the lunacy, the various plot threads never go anywhere. While We're Going To Eat You probably isn't the martial arts answer to Cannibal Holocaust; instead, it sets up a black comedy and then indulges in some morbid fun with a bit of kung fu thrown in for good measure, compensating for its lack of polish and coherence with Hark's boundless energy and everything-and-the-kitchen-sink attitude.

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Saved the best flying kicks for last

Everything about Episode Final feels significantly more dynamic, fierce, and exhilarating, clearly benefiting from its theatrical presentation with a dark, supernatural edge. The whole thing plays fast and loose with the show's rules, almost as if they shot themselves in the foot with Zolda's Giga Launcher by making a finale that debuted way before the series had even ended, one that turns up the bleak factor to maximum. Even the happier and more carefree moments come with a silver lining; knowing that the Rider War cannot be escaped, these people will have to die one way or another, and we can do nothing but watch. The result is a much more urgent narrative than what we saw in the show, and a slickly directed one at that, arguably the best-looking of the entire Ryuki saga, with Ryuta Tasaki once again in the director's seat, adding real flair to the film as the camera sweeps and dives around the impeccably choreographed action. Ryuga makes for a fantastic villain and feels like the true 13th Rider, a dark mirror counterpart to Ryuki, who takes no prisoners with sheer brutality. He's one of the major highlights here; another is unquestionably the franchise's first female Rider, Femme. While not as fleshed out as you'd like her to be, she is utterly adorable for all the time we spend with her, definitely helped by Natsuki Kato's enchanting performance. While Episode Final is undoubtedly going to leave you with more questions than answers in a lot of aspects, for me at least, it managed to provide an immensely satisfying end to Ryuki's narrative that didn't feel like a complete reset of the status quo. It makes for a heroic last stand as these characters resign themselves to their fate, yet still fight for all that's good in the world to the bitter end.

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The any % speedrun

Essentially, speedrunning Ryuki's original fifty-episode narrative over the course of a 50-minute runtime, 13 Riders had a lot of potential in crafting an engaging what-if companion piece to the TV show, even allowing kids to vote on the ending. Unfortunately, it all ends up as a wasted opportunity and definitely feels like it should be way longer than it is; most likely, it's a case of this being a primetime special that had to be welcoming to unfamiliar viewers. Little time is spent on fleshing out the narrative outside of the most basic of setups before we're flung headfirst into the special's plentiful action. Granted, all the action is incredibly well shot, thanks mainly to the direction of long-time tokusatsu director Ryuta Tasaki; however, the narrative is exceptionally hollow, with little justification given for the events surrounding said action. It just feels like an excuse to parade the last 3 Riders who didn't appear in the show for some reason in front of the camera. All three of whom do very little to leave a lasting impression, not from a lack of trying, but more from a lack of screen time, at least the cast are all still on form. Most egregious of all for me, at least, is that they got frigging Keiichi Wada to play Ryuki's original ill-fated host, before altogether dropping him less than a minute in. This would have been so much cooler had he been the main focal point of this special, seriously, Toshiki Inoue, I know you are better than this. Regardless of the ending you choose for 13 Riders, it still feels like an extension of the show rather than something entirely separate, a bit darker and more mysterious, but with just as much flair and humour, regardless of all the in-universe rule-breaking taking place.

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In the end, only one Rider can remain.

One of the more popular and highly regarded Kamen Rider shows, Ryuki, is an odd beast. Its fifty-episode length certainly feels unwarranted, but when combined with the show's complex depiction of justice and outstandingly choreographed action, it can make for immensely satisfying viewing. The humour doesn't always work and can even be detrimental to the tone the series is trying to maintain, especially given the high amount of emotional plot beats during the final stretch. Many episodes feel very meandering, focusing on a small cast of characters and emphasising the sillier elements; it all feels like a different show entirely, where the Rider Fight is merely an afterthought.

It's difficult to buy into Shinji's antics at the start, but thankfully, it seems the writers realised this and gave us a second Rider to follow right from the get-go with Ren. They make for an intriguing double act early on, with Shinji's carefree attitude contrasting heavily with Ren's more personal involvement in the big battle royale. The problem arises when nearly every character introduced, even the small one-offs, has their own arc and journey, which leaves many of the leads fighting for screentime; it makes the series feel cramped when it has a whole other dimension to explore.

As this show features a whopping ten Riders to keep track of, with some having a greater impact than others, it can be a challenging follow. Some turn up and leave just as quickly as they are introduced, while others stick around for a lot longer. Imperer and Scissors are examples of the former more than the latter. Their ultimate deaths are also a mixed bag, with Scissors' demise only there to serve as a warning to the fate that will befall the rest of the cast, while Raia's death is utterly soul-destroying, signalling a change in direction for the rest of the run.

Production-wise, it feels very much of its time; the reliance on CG ultimately dates the show quite severely, but the direction usually more than makes up for it with the musical score being generally delightful to listen to, even if it's somewhat repetitive. The cast all do a great job with the material, bringing a range of different levels of energy to their roles. It's hard to single out any standouts when they are all good.

Honestly, I think Ryuki is just alright in the end. The mystery regarding the Kanzaki siblings doesn't do a lot for me, especially when it's plainly evident that Shiro is the big bad from the moment he's first mentioned. Still, when the show is focused on each Rider and their individual goals, I was hooked. It's a show where I wish the core elements were just a bit more consistent because it had all the potential to be a winner, especially with its brutal gut-punch of an ending. Still, I did enjoy watching the show, and am looking forward to checking out Dragon Knight one of these days.

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