I´m sorry but those cheap wigs are killing the vibe...
The wigs are like that in Chinese period dramas. I always try not to look at the side burns too hard 😀. It's one of those things you get used to after a while, like weird sound effects in Thai dramas, dubbing etc.
I don't know it's that exactly, all sides just seem to be re-evaluating the situation once again. Who knows what will happen, might be nothing. We'll just have to wait and see.
Not from Singapore, it’s a Chinese 🇨🇳 drama. They just used Singapore to dodge the ban. 😁
To be fair, Taiwanese BL is made in Taiwan by the Taiwanese, credit to where credit is due. Just now there's been Chinese BLs under Thailand (Meet You at the Blossom) and Singapore (Kill to Love), I'm not even sure what the most resent sensatoion Revenged Love was tagged under. There's turmoil in the Chinese entertainment industry again, so who knows what will happen to all the BLs trying to avoid censorship by airing outside Chinese mainland in the future. We might end up with more censored tragic bromances instead of BLs 😒.
Half the time we get a release date before we know where exactly they are airing a BL. Kill to Love, a Singaporean BL (it's Chinese really, just released outside China to avoid censorship), had a release date for quite a while.
HOW is this being called a masterpiece and so good? The episodes were basicilly info dump. The affect leaves much…
Some people here use the word masterpiece just to say they personally like a show a lot. That word gets thrown around rather easily. Mydramalist is an international site. For some people English is maybe their third language and they might also be young and excitable. It's not that deep.
Seriously, what? "the female lead just seems to be treating the male lead too awfully... she doesn't need…
"but your negative interpretation feels very suspicious, because we know from the very beginning that Sang Yan loves Yi Fan. It’s impossible to interpret his actions negatively, since that’s part of his nature and personality."
No, his actions stand on their own, it doesn't matter if he likes her or not. Liking someone isn't a justification or an excuse for playing mind games. I agree that "His way of loving quiet and cunning, like a fox is his discreet way of protecting himself from getting burned." But he is still playing games with all the lies and little manipulations he does, and then claims he didn't do while giving her a blank gaze. I get that it's normalized for men especially, to act like this if they like a girl, but it's actually not unproblematic behaviour.
He is the one making things complicated and then the woman gets the blame. Even here in the comment section Xefjord says she is cold and she causes missunderstandings when it's him doing both 😒. She caused a missunderstanding when they were young, the rest are on him. She is not playing games with him, she is being courteous to him all the time. It's a theme in the show. She gets harrassed and attacked by men repeatedly for simply existing in the world and the men and the women around her blame her, not the actual people who do the bad things. It's an interesting phenomenon.
Seriously, what? "the female lead just seems to be treating the male lead too awfully... she doesn't need…
"Part of what makes him come off as somewhat obsessive is the fact that she is so coldly ignoring him all the time and he keeps persisting. If there was a little bit more give and take, the main guy would look less pathetic..."
Like I said it's his choice to keep persisting and obsessing. If he looks pathetic, it's him that's making that happen, it's not up to the woman to make him look good.
"...but I still think the main guy is a good guy largely doing stuff for the benefit of the woman."I am not really gonna be convinced that "actually the male lead is the problem" in all this."
It's two individuals in different head spaces. I'm not saying he is THE problem, he is behaving a bit weirdly though. He acts kinda jealous and does backhanded secret things for her, like the way he switched the rooms after they'd made a mutual agreement. She likes him in this carefull quiet way, but thinks he is confusing and aloof, you can see her quietly trying to assess his motivations. He is also acting cold, he needs to speak up as well. It's two people that have to come to an understanding before there's romance.
I just finished episode 8 and I am having a really hard time continuing this drama. Maybe its just because I am…
Seriously, what?
"the female lead just seems to be treating the male lead too awfully... she doesn't need to be so cold and force so many misunderstandings...I don't want to watch the male lead get tortured for 10-15 episodes for a cold ungrateful female lead. I get its supposed to be a story about how a woman who feels worthless can still find love, but actions speak louder than words and her actions have been pretty consistently awful."
The female lead is clearly being neutral, not cold. The only hurtful thing she did was back in high school, when she felt she had to leave him and lie about the reason, to protect herself. She is not responsible of his crush on her, it's not her job to coddle him or manage his feelings. She is not ungrateful, what does she have to be grateful for, except for when the male lead helped her with the violent friends of her would be rapist. She thanked him for that and treated his wounds. Whatever else the male lead did was his own business, he is actually a bit obsessive when it comes to the female lead. He is the one that played games, acting like "I dont know who you are, lady" and going behind her back to do what, secretly move in with her, buy things for the house and claim they were not specifically for her. She is being kind to him actually, giving him grace repeatedly, while also being neutral and going with the flow.
Come on Taiwan, why can't you match the level of We Best Love, it's so frustrating. My Beautiful Man from Japan is a way better BL about obsessive behaviour. Even the lunacy of HIStory 4: Close to You is more interesting than this story.
I’d say that most people here are likely not using their critical thinking - and given the comedic and light…
It's not like I sit around critiquing and criticizing every detail of the shows I watch, I've just had it with the speech policing of critical comments. Looks like there's a lot of positivity bias here.
I'm not opposed to a neutral lense, shades of grey, dark comedy, satire etc. As far as I understand deliberate romanticisation in the context of dark comedy or satire means there's ridicule and criticism of problematic behaviour. Generally it's assumed grown people understand when something is problematic. Sadly in reality teens and adults don't understand half of it, we are shockingly ignorant as a species. So obviously ambiguity is never entirely unproblematic, especially since critical thinking skills are not taught to people.
I’m honestly confused by your long post about “romanticization.” It’s really detailed, but I’m still…
"So, long story short, you’re saying Tuo and JunXi’s relationship isn’t abusive?"
If you think I said "isn't abusive", it looks like you don't know what "framed as" means, when I said "...riddled with consent issues, but not framed as abusive..."
"Framed as" means the perspective or context in which the abusive behavior is presented.
A simplified example: This show presents us with Han Tuo's abusive behaviour, like manipulation, and then the story goes on, as if there was no meaning in it, no accountability for the abusive behaviour, like said manipulation. That is creating a setting that makes abuse, like for example manipulation, look acceptable, which is romanticization of abuse.
I’m honestly confused by your long post about “romanticization.” It’s really detailed, but I’m still…
The romanticization of abuse is an example of one of the prevalent issues in shows. So I used it as an example to point out that this show, like many others, does infact have issues, and you should therefore expect people to talk about them.
wonofyourgirls gave examples of Han Tuo's abusive behaviour in their comment above, gaslighting for example, is manipulation, manipulation is emotional abuse. It seems that you aren't all that familiar with the various forms abuse can take.
Romanticization of abuse in relationships means portraying abusive behaviour as acceptable. It has nothing to do with the stage of the relationship, it makes no differenece if it's someone flirting with you, a date, a boyfriend or a spouse. Han Tuo's abusive tendencies are not framed as abusive, they are framed as acceptable, so they are romanticized.
I'm referring to all the people on mydramalist that keep complaining about comments expressing criticism towards problematic behaviour in shows. I'm referring to their endless comments on mydramalist saying things like: there are no issues in this show, and even if there are other shows have issues too, you can't deal with reality, this show isn't for you if you criticize it, stop watching then etc.
I agree with you so much, I started this show thinking it was a cute friends to lovers story; in which it is that…
Totally! I'm so tired of people on mydramalist implying that talking about consent and such means you as a viewer can't handle adult topics or NC scenes, or have something against portrayals of human sexuality or whatever false equivalence they come up with. Talking about these issues is what handling adult topics means!
Seeing issues in shows doesn't mean you have to, or want to, stop watching them. We can all make our own choices.
Romanticization of problematic behaviour in media is more of a rule than an exception. It is perfectly reasonable to talk about consent issues or general abuse issues in all media all around the world. There's no reason to contribute to the normalization of harmful behaviors that can even contribute to the acceptance of abuse in real life relationships.
Seriously, it's so normalized many people don't even pick up on issues in simple real life scenarios like: A man goes after a woman he wants, the woman says no, not interested. Instead of leaving the woman alone, the man thinks, I must try harder. Society has taught the man that is normal, not abusive, and the woman is even expected to think it's flattering, when it is against her explicitly stated consent. That is romanticization of abuse, not good behavior and it only escalates from there.
ROMANTICIZE definition -to deal with something or describe something in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make something seem better or more appealing than it really is.
The ROMANTICIZATION of abuse in relationships is portrying abuse including dubious consent as passionate, love, or making abuse seem acceptable or even desirable.
When abuse is framed as abusive it is NOT ROMANTICIZED, when abuse including lack of consent or dubious consent is framed as passion, love, desirable etc. it has been ROMANTICIZED.
If actions and dynamics are framed as abusive then by definition they are NOT ROMANTICIZED. In Secret Lover Tuo and Jun Xi's relationship is riddled with consent issues, but not framed as abusive, therefore by definition the problematic behaviour is ROMANTICIZED.
People can watch shows with problematic content. People can like shows with problematic content. People can criticize shows or parts of them and still watch them or drop them or whatever. The worst it can get is when people don't notice issues at all, or try to normalize problems, or shame others for noticing something problematic.
1 
No, his actions stand on their own, it doesn't matter if he likes her or not. Liking someone isn't a justification or an excuse for playing mind games. I agree that "His way of loving quiet and cunning, like a fox is his discreet way of protecting himself from getting burned." But he is still playing games with all the lies and little manipulations he does, and then claims he didn't do while giving her a blank gaze. I get that it's normalized for men especially, to act like this if they like a girl, but it's actually not unproblematic behaviour.
He is the one making things complicated and then the woman gets the blame. Even here in the comment section Xefjord says she is cold and she causes missunderstandings when it's him doing both 😒. She caused a missunderstanding when they were young, the rest are on him. She is not playing games with him, she is being courteous to him all the time. It's a theme in the show. She gets harrassed and attacked by men repeatedly for simply existing in the world and the men and the women around her blame her, not the actual people who do the bad things. It's an interesting phenomenon.
If there was a little bit more give and take, the main guy would look less pathetic..."
Like I said it's his choice to keep persisting and obsessing. If he looks pathetic, it's him that's making that happen, it's not up to the woman to make him look good.
"...but I still think the main guy is a good guy largely doing stuff for the benefit of the woman."I am not really gonna be convinced that "actually the male lead is the problem" in all this."
It's two individuals in different head spaces. I'm not saying he is THE problem, he is behaving a bit weirdly though. He acts kinda jealous and does backhanded secret things for her, like the way he switched the rooms after they'd made a mutual agreement. She likes him in this carefull quiet way, but thinks he is confusing and aloof, you can see her quietly trying to assess his motivations. He is also acting cold, he needs to speak up as well. It's two people that have to come to an understanding before there's romance.
"the female lead just seems to be treating the male lead too awfully... she doesn't need to be so cold and force so many misunderstandings...I don't want to watch the male lead get tortured for 10-15 episodes for a cold ungrateful female lead. I get its supposed to be a story about how a woman who feels worthless can still find love, but actions speak louder than words and her actions have been pretty consistently awful."
The female lead is clearly being neutral, not cold. The only hurtful thing she did was back in high school, when she felt she had to leave him and lie about the reason, to protect herself. She is not responsible of his crush on her, it's not her job to coddle him or manage his feelings. She is not ungrateful, what does she have to be grateful for, except for when the male lead helped her with the violent friends of her would be rapist. She thanked him for that and treated his wounds. Whatever else the male lead did was his own business, he is actually a bit obsessive when it comes to the female lead. He is the one that played games, acting like "I dont know who you are, lady" and going behind her back to do what, secretly move in with her, buy things for the house and claim they were not specifically for her. She is being kind to him actually, giving him grace repeatedly, while also being neutral and going with the flow.
"corrrk 3 days ago
Confirmed this will air on GagaOOlala on August 25th - Worldwide except HK, Macau, Thailand, Japan & Korea
https://www.instagram.com/p/DNW6z_WN49z/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=dzByaW9nNHN4M210
Other platforms: trueID, Viu, YouTube, Heavenly. Unclear yet if YT requires channel subscription."
Title: Kill to Love
Type: Drama
Format: Standard Series
Country: China
Episodes: 12
Airs: Aug 25, 2025 - Sep 23, 2025
Airs On: Monday, Tuesday
That's never going to happen, and is frankly a naive and controlling suggestion.
I'm not opposed to a neutral lense, shades of grey, dark comedy, satire etc. As far as I understand deliberate romanticisation in the context of dark comedy or satire means there's ridicule and criticism of problematic behaviour. Generally it's assumed grown people understand when something is problematic. Sadly in reality teens and adults don't understand half of it, we are shockingly ignorant as a species. So obviously ambiguity is never entirely unproblematic, especially since critical thinking skills are not taught to people.
If you think I said "isn't abusive", it looks like you don't know what "framed as" means, when I said "...riddled with consent issues, but not framed as abusive..."
"Framed as" means the perspective or context in which the abusive behavior is presented.
A simplified example:
This show presents us with Han Tuo's abusive behaviour, like manipulation, and then the story goes on, as if there was no meaning in it, no accountability for the abusive behaviour, like said manipulation. That is creating a setting that makes abuse, like for example manipulation, look acceptable, which is romanticization of abuse.
wonofyourgirls gave examples of Han Tuo's abusive behaviour in their comment above, gaslighting for example, is manipulation, manipulation is emotional abuse. It seems that you aren't all that familiar with the various forms abuse can take.
Romanticization of abuse in relationships means portraying abusive behaviour as acceptable. It has nothing to do with the stage of the relationship, it makes no differenece if it's someone flirting with you, a date, a boyfriend or a spouse. Han Tuo's abusive tendencies are not framed as abusive, they are framed as acceptable, so they are romanticized.
I'm referring to all the people on mydramalist that keep complaining about comments expressing criticism towards problematic behaviour in shows. I'm referring to their endless comments on mydramalist saying things like: there are no issues in this show, and even if there are other shows have issues too, you can't deal with reality, this show isn't for you if you criticize it, stop watching then etc.
Seeing issues in shows doesn't mean you have to, or want to, stop watching them. We can all make our own choices.
Seriously, it's so normalized many people don't even pick up on issues in simple real life scenarios like: A man goes after a woman he wants, the woman says no, not interested. Instead of leaving the woman alone, the man thinks, I must try harder. Society has taught the man that is normal, not abusive, and the woman is even expected to think it's flattering, when it is against her explicitly stated consent. That is romanticization of abuse, not good behavior and it only escalates from there.
ROMANTICIZE definition
-to deal with something or describe something in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make something seem better or more appealing than it really is.
The ROMANTICIZATION of abuse in relationships is portrying abuse including dubious consent as passionate, love, or making abuse seem acceptable or even desirable.
When abuse is framed as abusive it is NOT ROMANTICIZED, when abuse including lack of consent or dubious consent is framed as passion, love, desirable etc. it has been ROMANTICIZED.
If actions and dynamics are framed as abusive then by definition they are NOT ROMANTICIZED.
In Secret Lover Tuo and Jun Xi's relationship is riddled with consent issues, but not framed as abusive, therefore by definition the problematic behaviour is ROMANTICIZED.
People can watch shows with problematic content. People can like shows with problematic content. People can criticize shows or parts of them and still watch them or drop them or whatever. The worst it can get is when people don't notice issues at all, or try to normalize problems, or shame others for noticing something problematic.