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Replying to bhday • Apr 20, 2025
Title Way Back Love
I don't get why she still wanted to end her life after all the closure she got with the help of repear ML. She…
okay, wow. where to begin... okay first, it's never explicitly stated that she and the ml friend dated. they probably just spent a lot of time together and she maybe even gave him hope that they would date, but ultimately, they were probably helping eachother get through their grief. also, if you think that her inability to move on was sudden, then maybe you didn't watch the same show I did, because it was clearly shown that she NEVER moved on. she never made friends at school, cried in the street, never smiled or socialised all through the years. I mean, you saw that dark hole she'd been living in, right? this is made very clear in episode 5 or 6, I think. Look, she doesn't live life the way she does because she thought anyone blamed her. it's because she can't stop blaming herself. being forgiven by the people around you feels good, but if you hurt someone you truly loved, forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do. that week they spent together assured her that he and everyone else had forgiven her, but it wasn't enough for her to forgive herself. that's why even in their last encounter, she is saddened by the fact that he never even had a choice between living or dying, because she felt that she took that choice away from him. also, i get that her still wanting to end her life after the week they shared was sort of diminishing the worth of the time they spent, but she explains that time stopped for her after he died, and she only began to feel alive again when he came back. she barely survived his death the first time. him leaving again was like rubbing salt on a wound that never healed in the first place, and this time, she just couldn't bear the pain. she didn't wanna go back to her sad, lonely existence after he first disappeared. she probably felt like killing herself would help them reunite again if she tries to become a grim reaper too. his presence that week helped her live life like she used to before his death, but when he disappeared, she felt like there was no reason to carry on anymore. when he reappeared the second time, he didn't simply repeat the routine of the week they spent together, he actually gave her a reason to live even after he's gone. she needs to live because he lives on in her, and when she finally understands this, when she finally sees that she is both Kim ramwoo and Jung Heewan, and that killing herself would be like killing ramwoo for the second time, she decides to live. because by keeping herself alive, she keeps him and his memory alive too. and by loving herself, she is loving him. That was more beautiful than any ending I could've imagined.
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