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See, I completely respect someone's loneliness, depression, and suffering. Life isn't easy for everyone, and it takes courage to get through the constant ups and downs. But your suffering doesn't justify hurting your partner. If being in a relationship is making things harder for you, you can always choose to leave. You cannot keep hurting someone just because you're struggling yourself.
And what makes this worse for me is that the FL confessed to the SML first. She acknowledged her feelings for him before the ML even knew what was happening. Imagine being in a ten-year relationship and being the last person to know that your partner has feelings for someone else. That's honestly so fucking sad.
And people keep saying she was crying and felt guilty, but does guilt mean anything if you're still making excuses for your actions? Her suffering might explain why she was vulnerable, but it doesn't excuse her choices. If she genuinely respected the ML and everything they had built together, taking accountability should be the bare minimum.
At this point, ending the relationship would be far more respectful than continuing to drag it out. I can empathise with the FL without agreeing with her choices, but I don't want the ML to end up with someone who hurt him this way and have everything brushed aside because she was struggling.
You can understand someone's pain without making their partner pay the price for it.
If the ML genuinely wants to help her feel better, that's one thing. But if he's doing it in the hope that she'll want to stay with him, that's different. You can work on a relationship together, but you cannot fix someone's feelings for you by fixing their life.
And now the FL herself says that she had butterflies and saw that whatever spark in the SML. Bro, that conversation was so fucking crap. I mean, I just wanted to throw myself out of the window, but whatever. 😭
You know, I genuinely don't get this. Like, what exactly happened between these two? I mean, I get that the SML is making her life exciting, and they're doing things that are out of the ordinary for her, things that break the monotony of her otherwise lonely and depressing life. But is that really all it takes for someone to fall for another person? To feel butterflies, mistake that excitement for something more, and be willing to throw away an entire relationship for it? I don't know, man.
But with the FL, there is no question for me. That is C H E A T I N G. I really REALLLY wish she would come clean herself, BARE MINIMUM FOR A 10 YEAR RELATIONSHIP. The kissing is obviously bad, but yk what's worse? Disrespect. Like, that's what made this whole situation so much worse for me: everything they had built over those ten years. They literally showed us their past, all those years of being there for each other and going through life together, and then you see all of that and just physically wish she hadn't done that to their relationship. There was so much history and so much that had been built between them.
And just because she's dull or negative doesn’t mean her partner should flirt with other woman, wtf!