The frontal cortex (judgment part)of our Brain.....doesn't fully developed until we are at least 25/26
These are sides...and we only get a snippet. But they all have toxic behaviors/ moments.
I'm not comparing who's has toxic/unhealthy behaviors.
I'm pointing out they all do. I will not mentioned EO or JW since it been discussed many times
SY - she's commenter favorite....hasn't really been called out on her toxic behaviors
-yelling/ screaming - not a good functional communication - getting drunk & beating ppl up - she beats up her ex while sober. (Her way/want or nothing at all - she is just as selfish as anyone else) . She did not seek to understand his reasoning for his female friends....ok sure...she's not ok with it. Not ok to force something upon someone. Then she accuse and stalks them. -pretending (an escape) -1 night stands -obsessive
These are toxic behaviors & is not ok
Ri - being salty of a 7-8 years break up & cause issues to his new one. It happened a long time ago & that was petty/childish . -Her game of calling him on her blind dates....to come rate them...
She has not been fully open/honest with her bf about her experiences
Cgj - clingy.....obsessive....very dependent on his gf. ( yup these 2 are diff. Related)
RY- lack functional communication -avoidance ....actually he hasn't displayed anything too crazy yet.
EO -needs help/ therapy. She didn't handle it in the best way....but she did not do things to string him. It was not a back & forth relationship..they did not break up & get back together multiple times. There was no fights for the 100x. . The camera was nothing. He linger/ fixated regardless . JW coping skill isn't the best ..but is common. He is stucked in his stages of grief....ppl linger in different part of the stages.
Fighting & working out your feelings/ emotions is good for you. Don't be a shaken coke bottle ready to explode because it was bottled up
None of these characters is stuck there....they can have characters growth
I point those out...but it is not a judgment or criticism.
I said a thousand times. Call ppl out on their BS. Then provide tools and support.
I have always tell my clients what they did was not ok. Don't matter why....but here are tools to use and how you can do better next time. Also the word sorry hold less value when it is done again. The best apology is a changed behavior.
Human growth &development.....successful when ppl seek it...use the tools....but 1st is the acceptance & willingness to face the truth & fears
Sometimes you figure it out on your own....many times it is when ppl challenges you & push to....therapy can help push you...
Forced therapy doesn't work....the person needs to be mentally ready....
i'm trying so hard to start this because i adore the cast, but this is my third attempt at episode 1 and i just…
I would try about 3 eps. -5 ep for all dramas ...more depending on length.
Ep 2 ans forward has less of a documentary/ interview
Ep1 is a basis of introduction to all drama....i see many ppl always say that with the 1st.....if it dont click by then...i drop it....but don't bother if it is too much for you to try.....no biggy
EO - have you ever felt like going somewhere to kill yourself?
SY - i like how they have her address that there is help for the youth (since she works in the school)
Self-hatred BPD is a serious matter.....to battle and feel that way
Daily battle/torture of the mind.....physical wound heals....internal...psychological battle is life long battle
Most ppl who commits suicides ....shows no signs....they seems/act so happy......no1 know their struggles and they don't express it
Book - cracked not broken *kevin hines * - he is a great speaker- check him out on YT
He survived his suicide attempt from the Golden gate bridge.
He describes his battle field in his mind.....self meditation and the lack of knowledge of Mental health. The ignorances ....how judgmental ppl are....which make him drown farther into his self destructions. Is there some personal responsibility ....yes....but their brain is wired differently/ misfired.....(chemical imbalanced...ect...)
I liked this series at the beginning, it was a fresh concept and the characters seemed insteresting, but now it's…
Not every drama is one cup of tea ....oh well.....
I find that some drama lose it's luster for me by the 3rd quarter.....
It either...might as well finish....or maybe all done....depending on my feel
As for this 1.... I'm still engage. It entertains me....all that matters is it brings you joy/entertains....if no....no biggy......thank you....nxt drama...
He is a fictional character.....but put that aside...
How would you feel if ppl tell you how to mourn.....get over it already.....move on.... you should do this....do that...not being in your shoes nor comprehension of your feelings/ thoughts
We have no right to tell ppl how they feel or how they should do things.
We as human should seek to better understand, emphasize and have compassion.
Provide them with tools they need or just be a person that is there.
I hope many ppl can be so lucky to have that instead of criticism ....Judgements....
Over 30.....she revert into a certain state everytimes her mom talks to her.
Like EO when JW yelled at her....cuz of the abusive ex.
My client's mom shoulders is slump and i can see her go into this state. Face and body slump. She gets really small. Her mind running rapidly of all these crazy senarios. She wants to runaway....she already did in her mind and the only thing she can muster up is sorry.....her mother is crazy controlling
I would have been like bye....i won't do the same as her....but i emphasize and get it..
I will not be anyone...Judge...& jury...i don't want anyone as mine...call me out on my BS...don't mean you can/should Judge/criticized me. Showing empathy is not enabling
Establishing boundaries is one of the things we teach.
She's on med and have weekly therapy.....on top of me disputing her negative thoughts. It is always the worse case senarios.
Many other clients i have.. .always have a problem for ever solutions. Their avoidance skills is top notch. If only they used that efforts to problem solve, coping skills.
Accepting the truth. Ppl don't know or learn these things....it's not natural....it must be taught in some sense or form.
Fight or flight......majority is flight for self preservation
I tell them that....but they waste it on avoidances.
I have came to a certain growth to know exactly what i want, need, tolerate and learn to be more selfish in what i want and need. Not everyone has the same mindset.
I will not judge them. Everyone goes through their own Shit.
Depends on the senarios. I empathize more than sympathize
Book recommendations for all. Short...easy read (I own this book- great read)
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It By: Kamal Ravikant
Categories: Relationships, Parenting & Personal Development, Personal Development
I agree this is not a reason. It does not justify what she did. I understand better why she lied about her name…
He actually isn't a horrible person. We are cool. Still chat cuz we shared dogs.
I learnt a lot from relationship. I had sucky unreasonable moments too. He was horrible at communications and shuts down. He didn't know how to communication /expressed in a functional way.
After our break up (i thought we'll marry and have a white fence). Hahaha.....inexperienced.
A few months afterwards he apologized. We communicated openly. He never tried anything. He didn't want to have regret and spoke openly with me. That I'm a good person and he was dumb. He regret not doing certain things....ect....being a better & not avoid and run away. It wad easier to quit and start fresh then to meet me at my level (i was not perfect and had lots of moments).
We were not on the same page/mindset....
These acceptance/ open of expression isn't always a bad/evil gestures. We have moved on & been "friends ".
Like rose from titanic. She always thought of Jack.
I thanked him because i have grown soo much as a person and know myself more. Some ppl dont seek that. He himself had some growth from out experience together.
I hold no blame or grudge. That serves no purpose. I used it to better myself and grow.
At the end it was timing.....my lack of experiences didn't help....i didn't know better....timing...er needs to be in the same mindset and want the same thing.
My bro in law. Broke up with his ex of 14 years. Meet my sistet and propose within a year. Timing (minset/wants/willing to do)
I believe she loved him. She wants to keep that memory and not taint that romantic movie she has in her head. *honeymoon period*. The real test is afterwards. Even ppl can be real to each other.
Psychology the honeymoon period is 1 to 2 y3ars. Afterwards that is when the truer self emerges.
We watch a romcom movie and it is HEA....we don't see the afterwards....but it gives us the feel...butterflies...love.
That why i like to watch it. In reality a relationship is such hard work. Constantly having to work at it and willingness to and i recommend therapy.
Any relationship is like a car. You need the monthly maintenance for it tonrun smoothly
Self preservation. She left ..b4 he can....cuz she hates herself & believes when he knows her real her. He will leave. She never met face to face because the cousin knowing will not get her a clean break for her avoidances. She want to preserve those happy times...revert to the place in her mind.
The human brain is a fascinating thing...it can cause amnesia to avoid pain (lots of trauma patients/ ppl) do that
Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both. Patrick Ness, A Monster Calls
You were merely wishing for the end of pain, the monster said. Your own pain. An end to how it isolated you. It is the most human wish of all. - PN
I'm not surprised it was an abusive relationship.
She is traumatized. She disappeared and became a new person. She blocked everything out and is pretending to be someone else. A new personality that is 180 degrees from her.
She wanted a 1 night stand. She didn't want more....but in a new personality...she is like why not....it's a fantasy world....she will do things that she never done ....and JW made her feel loved.....
But she know it is all fake and in reality...in her mind he will leave hrr because she is not that brave-go-lucky girl. She is a fraud.
She broke up with him b4 he can break up with her. Having the connect with her cousin can't give her a clean break, because he can find her. She's weak....cowardly...she don't know how to self cope or deal with anything. She escape into her head and battle
She runs away. She disappeared for 3 months...she'll avoid.....self preservation.
Even if she did it face to face. Gave back his camera and said she don't want a relationship. He will probably still act the same. The mourning period. Ppl mourn/get over things differently.
SY is still not over her breakup and is drunk ans at the police station.
The 2 "happy" couple...we didn't see them address the break up....he himself wasn't over it...he is too dependent on her....he will be a mess if they break up again
**Most people just have to live their lives the best they can, doing things that are great for them, having great friends, trying to make their lives better, loving people properly. All the while knowing that the world makes no sense but trying to find a way to be happy anyway.**
I recommend A Monster calls. The characters go through trauma....avoids and pretends it don't exist....not until he was push to accept the reality....speak and accepts the truth....he can be release
I agree this is not a reason. It does not justify what she did. I understand better why she lied about her name…
She broke it off b4 he can... That was in her mind. In yang yang... she's pretending & it's good to be "loved"....a delusional fairy tale
You can't solely blame her for his actions for the breakup.
How she did it was a mess.
But even if she gave him a explanation and do face to face. He will probably act the same.
Sy....still acts like JW. She is drunk ans beating up random guys who looks like Ryu. She is not actually any different.
Everyone handle break up differently....some ppl linger longer...ot pretend move on.
My ex is in a relationship now...5 years later he said he still has feelings and regret not getting his shit back together. He just want to express himself & wasnt trying to change it. I compliment him on communications ... Cuz he suck b4 and shut down...
The problem with Jae Won is that even if Eun Oh had kicked him, run him over and mugged him, he would still go…
I would not judge anyone.
Everything is soo easy for ppl not in that position.
Love has done crazy things to ppl. It don't make ppl logical or reasonable...
These "great" novels are build on these aspects of how love makes majority of ppl crazy and through variety of experiences ...they get a chance to grow....(hopefully)
We can only be so lucky to have ppl be compassionate, emphasize and understanding. Instead of criticism/ judgment.
I can't image someone telling me how i should feel...cope....do this and that....give me tools i can use....sit next to me ....listen....don't judge me....i already feel like shit...don't stomp on me when I'm down....with your judgments (Generally speaking...)
1
These are sides...and we only get a snippet. But they all have toxic behaviors/ moments.
I'm not comparing who's has toxic/unhealthy behaviors.
I'm pointing out they all do. I will not mentioned EO or JW since it been discussed many times
SY - she's commenter favorite....hasn't really been called out on her toxic behaviors
-yelling/ screaming - not a good functional communication
- getting drunk & beating ppl up
- she beats up her ex while sober. (Her way/want or nothing at all - she is just as selfish as anyone else) . She did not seek to understand his reasoning for his female friends....ok sure...she's not ok with it. Not ok to force something upon someone. Then she accuse and stalks them.
-pretending (an escape)
-1 night stands
-obsessive
These are toxic behaviors & is not ok
Ri - being salty of a 7-8 years break up & cause issues to his new one. It happened a long time ago & that was petty/childish .
-Her game of calling him on her blind dates....to come rate them...
She has not been fully open/honest with her bf about her experiences
Cgj - clingy.....obsessive....very dependent on his gf. ( yup these 2 are diff. Related)
RY- lack functional communication
-avoidance ....actually he hasn't displayed anything too crazy yet.
EO -needs help/ therapy. She didn't handle it in the best way....but she did not do things to string him. It was not a back & forth relationship..they did not break up & get back together multiple times. There was no fights for the 100x. . The camera was nothing. He linger/ fixated regardless . JW coping skill isn't the best ..but is common. He is stucked in his stages of grief....ppl linger in different part of the stages.
Fighting & working out your feelings/ emotions is good for you. Don't be a shaken coke bottle ready to explode because it was bottled up
None of these characters is stuck there....they can have characters growth
I point those out...but it is not a judgment or criticism.
I said a thousand times. Call ppl out on their BS. Then provide tools and support.
I have always tell my clients what they did was not ok. Don't matter why....but here are tools to use and how you can do better next time. Also the word sorry hold less value when it is done again. The best apology is a changed behavior.
Human growth &development.....successful when ppl seek it...use the tools....but 1st is the acceptance & willingness to face the truth & fears
Sometimes you figure it out on your own....many times it is when ppl challenges you & push to....therapy can help push you...
Forced therapy doesn't work....the person needs to be mentally ready....
Which i hope the writers do.
Well see...KG said multiple times he see both girls as his bro.
6 ep left....they need to flesh things out....I wouldn't want a rushed interactions.
My point to many ppl is ...we are not suck in toxis behaviors.....we can all learn and grow
She didn’t meet because of his cousin.
How can she run away and avoid when he can find her.....
Girl disappeared for 3 months and no1 knew where....she jad thoughts of suicide
She is friendly and flirty with everyone.
Any romance can go wrong.
There is always some kind of issues we don't see.....there is toxic moments in all.
Again... I'm beating a dead horse.
I have said many times....
Unhealthy behaviors and physical abuse is not a good behavior.
As a human Being...it is nice to have compassion for ppl.
They are not stuck in that toxic behaviors.
I have always address that. In majority of my comments
Call ppl out on BS. Give them tools. Don't be soo judgment.
Those in glass houses....shouldn't throw stones
Read my comments. I have address that many time.
Again. Ppl can come out being in toxic environments and growth. We are not stuck there.
None of my comments has ever excuse any of thr behaviors.
What's wrong with seeking /having emphaty?
Why is it that they are just stuck in these behaviors? Ppl are.not stuck in these behaviors. Many have growth
Ep 2 ans forward has less of a documentary/ interview
Ep1 is a basis of introduction to all drama....i see many ppl always say that with the 1st.....if it dont click by then...i drop it....but don't bother if it is too much for you to try.....no biggy
SY - i like how they have her address that there is help for the youth (since she works in the school)
Self-hatred BPD is a serious matter.....to battle and feel that way
Daily battle/torture of the mind.....physical wound heals....internal...psychological battle is life long battle
Most ppl who commits suicides ....shows no signs....they seems/act so happy......no1 know their struggles and they don't express it
Book - cracked not broken *kevin hines *
- he is a great speaker- check him out on YT
He survived his suicide attempt from the Golden gate bridge.
He describes his battle field in his mind.....self meditation and the lack of knowledge of Mental health. The ignorances ....how judgmental ppl are....which make him drown farther into his self destructions. Is there some personal responsibility ....yes....but their brain is wired differently/ misfired.....(chemical imbalanced...ect...)
I find that some drama lose it's luster for me by the 3rd quarter.....
It either...might as well finish....or maybe all done....depending on my feel
As for this 1.... I'm still engage. It entertains me....all that matters is it brings you joy/entertains....if no....no biggy......thank you....nxt drama...
I'm baffled with those fake band names ....n i thought it was real....
Also the camera
Your comment wasn't a rant. I'm not picking on you. It was a statement....
i wanted address and add more to it. I felt it's good to address being in that person's shoes
The best way to learn compassion is that.
Ranting is fine. I had said many times....certain aspects of the characters i didn't care for.....but i still show emphaty & compassion.
There's soo much we can experience as a human....
These stories help teach us things.
I always use social/ stories and lessons...from books and movies to teach ppl things.
How would you feel if ppl tell you how to mourn.....get over it already.....move on.... you should do this....do that...not being in your shoes nor comprehension of your feelings/ thoughts
We have no right to tell ppl how they feel or how they should do things.
We as human should seek to better understand, emphasize and have compassion.
Provide them with tools they need or just be a person that is there.
I hope many ppl can be so lucky to have that instead of criticism ....Judgements....
Over 30.....she revert into a certain state everytimes her mom talks to her.
Like EO when JW yelled at her....cuz of the abusive ex.
My client's mom shoulders is slump and i can see her go into this state. Face and body slump. She gets really small. Her mind running rapidly of all these crazy senarios. She wants to runaway....she already did in her mind and the only thing she can muster up is sorry.....her mother is crazy controlling
I would have been like bye....i won't do the same as her....but i emphasize and get it..
I will not be anyone...Judge...& jury...i don't want anyone as mine...call me out on my BS...don't mean you can/should Judge/criticized me. Showing empathy is not enabling
Establishing boundaries is one of the things we teach.
She's on med and have weekly therapy.....on top of me disputing her negative thoughts. It is always the worse case senarios.
Many other clients i have..
.always have a problem for ever solutions. Their avoidance skills is top notch. If only they used that efforts to problem solve, coping skills.
Accepting the truth. Ppl don't know or learn these things....it's not natural....it must be taught in some sense or form.
Fight or flight......majority is flight for self preservation
I tell them that....but they waste it on avoidances.
I have came to a certain growth to know exactly what i want, need, tolerate and learn to be more selfish in what i want and need. Not everyone has the same mindset.
I will not judge them. Everyone goes through their own Shit.
Depends on the senarios. I empathize more than sympathize
Book recommendations for all. Short...easy read (I own this book- great read)
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It
By: Kamal Ravikant
Categories: Relationships, Parenting & Personal Development, Personal Development
person. We are cool. Still chat cuz we shared dogs.
I learnt a lot from relationship. I had sucky unreasonable moments too. He was horrible at communications and shuts down. He didn't know how to communication /expressed in a functional way.
After our break up (i thought we'll marry and have a white fence). Hahaha.....inexperienced.
A few months afterwards he apologized. We communicated openly. He never tried anything. He didn't want to have regret and spoke openly with me. That I'm a good person and he was dumb. He regret not doing certain things....ect....being a better & not avoid and run away. It wad easier to quit and start fresh then to meet me at my level (i was not perfect and had lots of moments).
We were not on the same page/mindset....
These acceptance/ open of expression isn't always a bad/evil gestures. We have moved on & been "friends ".
Like rose from titanic. She always thought of Jack.
I thanked him because i have grown soo much as a person and know myself more. Some ppl dont seek that. He himself had some growth from out experience together.
I hold no blame or grudge. That serves no purpose. I used it to better myself and grow.
At the end it was timing.....my lack of experiences didn't help....i didn't know better....timing...er needs to be in the same mindset and want the same thing.
My bro in law. Broke up with his ex of 14 years. Meet my sistet and propose within a year. Timing (minset/wants/willing to do)
I believe she loved him. She wants to keep that memory and not taint that romantic movie she has in her head. *honeymoon period*. The real test is afterwards. Even ppl can be real to each other.
Psychology the honeymoon period is 1 to 2 y3ars. Afterwards that is when the truer self emerges.
We watch a romcom movie and it is HEA....we don't see the afterwards....but it gives us the feel...butterflies...love.
That why i like to watch it. In reality a relationship is such hard work. Constantly having to work at it and willingness to and i recommend therapy.
Any relationship is like a car. You need the monthly maintenance for it tonrun smoothly
Self preservation. She left ..b4 he can....cuz she hates herself & believes when he knows her real her. He will leave. She never met face to face because the cousin knowing will not get her a clean break for her avoidances. She want to preserve those happy times...revert to the place in her mind.
The human brain is a fascinating thing...it can cause amnesia to avoid pain (lots of trauma patients/ ppl) do that
Patrick Ness, A Monster Calls
You were merely wishing for the end of pain, the monster said. Your own pain. An end to how it isolated you. It is the most human wish of all. - PN
I'm not surprised it was an abusive relationship.
She is traumatized. She disappeared and became a new person. She blocked everything out and is pretending to be someone else. A new personality that is 180 degrees from her.
She wanted a 1 night stand. She didn't want more....but in a new personality...she is like why not....it's a fantasy world....she will do things that she never done ....and JW made her feel loved.....
But she know it is all fake and in reality...in her mind he will leave hrr because she is not that brave-go-lucky girl. She is a fraud.
She broke up with him b4 he can break up with her. Having the connect with her cousin can't give her a clean break, because he can find her. She's weak....cowardly...she don't know how to self cope or deal with anything. She escape into her head and battle
She runs away. She disappeared for 3 months...she'll avoid.....self preservation.
Even if she did it face to face. Gave back his camera and said she don't want a relationship. He will probably still act the same. The mourning period. Ppl mourn/get over things differently.
SY is still not over her breakup and is drunk ans at the police station.
The 2 "happy" couple...we didn't see them address the break up....he himself wasn't over it...he is too dependent on her....he will be a mess if they break up again
**Most people just have to live their lives the best they can, doing things that are great for them, having great friends, trying to make their lives better, loving people properly. All the while knowing that the world makes no sense but trying to find a way to be happy anyway.**
I recommend A Monster calls. The characters go through trauma....avoids and pretends it don't exist....not until he was push to accept the reality....speak and accepts the truth....he can be release
That was in her mind. In yang yang... she's pretending & it's good to be "loved"....a delusional fairy tale
You can't solely blame her for his actions for the breakup.
How she did it was a mess.
But even if she gave him a explanation and do face to face. He will probably act the same.
Sy....still acts like JW. She is drunk ans beating up random guys who looks like Ryu. She is not actually any different.
Everyone handle break up differently....some ppl linger longer...ot pretend move on.
My ex is in a relationship now...5 years later he said he still has feelings and regret not getting his shit back together. He just want to express himself & wasnt trying to change it. I compliment him on communications ...
Cuz he suck b4 and shut down...
After het :issues : it feels good to be loved.....
Fight or flight.....it is shown she will chose the later....not confrontation...avoiding
She left him b4 he had a chance to do it to her.
Is she being selfish...heck ya...self preservation.......at the end of the day...
We are alone (born/die alone)
Maybe KG has 1 sided love....or maybe not
Everything is soo easy for ppl not in that position.
Love has done crazy things to ppl. It don't make ppl logical or reasonable...
These "great" novels are build on these aspects of how love makes majority of ppl crazy and through variety of experiences ...they get a chance to grow....(hopefully)
We can only be so lucky to have ppl be compassionate, emphasize and understanding. Instead of criticism/ judgment.
I can't image someone telling me how i should feel...cope....do this and that....give me tools i can use....sit next to me ....listen....don't judge me....i already feel like shit...don't stomp on me when I'm down....with your judgments (Generally speaking...)
That is how he feels. Loves make ppl do things....they can become forgiving.
Different ppl has different tolerances and emphaty.
I probably at one point had 8 breakup before the final one. It is an addiction like a cigarette.
Everything is always so easy until you're in that person's shoes.