meaghen

I've been working so I've been catching up but there are 2 things I wanted to say after watching episode 10...
1) Ho Rang and Woo Seok... I feel like they are headed for some extreme emotional rapids ahead... as much as I think Ho Rang is funny and charming (in her own way), I think what she's projecting onto Woo Seok is going to turn their relationship into shambles. I foresee them either breaking up (that would be an interesting *nuance* in dramaland, or eventually coming back together and starting over). Because she literally never asks HIM if he's happy...
2) BEING A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW is shit city folks. If I had to cook and clean and slave away for my in-laws... like damn, hells to the no... being treated like it's my duty to be submissive... no way. I find the lack of equality when he comes to this division of labour to be quite sexist... ugh, that was so painful to watch (like, there's a difference between handing out the chores to people to be fair, but it's just so hierarchical and patriarchal in ways that make women, not in positions of power to bend to someone else's will, and it's just so uncomfortable to watch). Awesome commentary on the cultural aspects of being a daughter-in-law though. I hope, moving forward, that we see men (like See Hee), actually participate in their household dynamics.

I just... don't know whether or not to pity Ho Rang or not... I know cultural views towards marriage differ around the world (I live in Canada), and I know not EVERY Korean parent tells their kids that their worth as a human being is tied to their social capital (ie marriage). But I never grew up thinking that if I didn't marry I wouldn't 'belong,' or that I would be considered to be an outcast in my friend/family circle. I'm grateful for that because if I ever did get married, it would be because there wouldn't be a social pressure to do so. Like there should never be a stigma for not getting married or having kids, especially concerning choosing to focus on education or a career (and I think this drama is definitely addressing a lot of social issues, which is important). I'm always rooting for women's choices in general, but the marriage norms still crawl under my skin sometimes...

I think it is definitely a LARGE part of your identity in SK. In part from watching variety shows/dramas/doing some research, and I can see why (because there's a ton of heteronormativity tied into it). However, I don't want to homogenize any experience for folks in SK... but I do think it is important to showcase just how normalizing it becomes to 'fit in.' Like, I totally respect the fact that Ho Rang wants to live a life as a caregiver/mother, but at the back of my mind I'm also like she's literally been conditioned/programmed to fulfill gendered expectations (that black coat/red coat scene was pretty heartbreaking). I think this show has cast a lot of light on what it means to be a woman in SK; especially regarding the stigmas of not having kids or getting married 'early,' on (especially compared to men). I know deep down it's not something I would ever understand because I'm not Korean/wasn't raised in SK, but it just breaks my heart to see what happens when you break out of the mold -quite literally. You have Su Ji who literally don't give a f*ck, but then you have Ho Rang where you want her to be happy, but not create or fabricate a life based on what *she thinks will make her happy or content* because society has mapped it out for her.

Sorry for the rant, I just really hope we see some more nuances in Ho Rang's storyline... I think there's obviously room for some twists. I don't think writer-nim plans on letting them get engaged without some troubled waters ahead, which I think there will be. Because I have this suspicion that Won Seok will crush on Bo Mi or vice versa/or mutual... that preview... maybe just frends, but their vibes...

OKIEEE so I'm genuinely surprised... lowkey thought that Bok Nam could *possibly be innocent* (like 1%) and he ended up being framed (it makes sense, and I',m totally cool with the twist -thanks for dabbling on my heartstrings, writer-nim)... but the social/cultural message about stalking/marriage/identity/etc are SO on point.

Do you know what I hate the most in dramaland? When we totally OVERLOOK any and all creepy male interest's problematic advances in our female lead (whether he's the lead or second lead, or supporting character). Like if he follows her, gets her number from someone, show up at her work, grabs her wrist, or demands her attention, or constantly stalks her until she 'goes out with him,' or something to varying degrees. We may think that he's 'attractive' and they will or end up together anyway, so this is 'okay,.' But in the back of my mind, I'm like that's incredibly intrusive, and it's a romanticization of a form of violence. Don't get me wrong not all tropes function like this, and I know there are exceptions in some cases, but when this happens, I can't help but cringe and think that no matter what the guy looks like, if he's literally stalking you (whether 'lowkey' or not) it's a problem.

Take Bok Nam for instance. Seemingly innocent, fluffy, and cute --but potentially (and pretty much confirmed, 99%) to be a serial stalker (and possible rapist?). Like I'm literally like YASSS -thank you writer-nim for highlighting, firstly, the issue of stalking, and how 'romantic' and 'attractive' it is often made out to be when in fact, it's not. For anyone, it can be a terrifying and intrusive and traumatizing experience. Like I'm shook that this series is tackling so many issues (as I keep faithfully posting about it), and I like the fact that we see that no matter the context, stalking is wrong, and even if you're conventionally 'handsome' or beautiful (in this case, and wherever it relates) -it don't make it any more permissible.

I reallllly hope that Bok Nam's character doesn't 'go out' in a cliche way by actually kidnapping Ji Ho...but I wouldn't rule out some sort of rising climax between him, Se Hee and Ji Ho. I think that we're going to get some cute scenes next week and I'm here for it, but I also think we're going to see some more serious conversations appear or something intense will happen as a cliffhanger (just my gut feeling). I just wonder just how much Bok Nam knows Ji Ho, and how creepy he truly is (because my alarm bells continue to go off). Koodos to the actor, he's doing a brilliant job.

I admire the serious conversation going on about sexual harrassment in the workplace, especially when it is gender-based. Su Ji doesn't deserve getting the shit she gets from all those greasy/perverted men, and it's so hard to watch. I like the fact that we see Song Goo step out of that mode by challenging the so-called 'public' and private affairs by showing that there is NO excuse or right for men to sexually harass women in the workplace (and of course, in general). Women firstly, don't owe you shit, and secondly, without her explicit consent, you don't touch her or anyone for that matter. That dinner scene was PRICELESS. It just shows how men can show their solidarity by standing up for women and being against the blatant sexism/harrassment. It was hilarious seeing him curse like that, but I'm sure we all we're thinkin' it.

I totally lowkey hate myself for not thinking about Ji Ho's mom more sincerely... I had a feeling that she doesn't take her father's sh*t for no reason, but her letter to her 'son-in-law' was just so endearing... the moment we see how Ji Ho misunderstood her mom, and Ji Ho finally realizing that her mom just wants her to be independent and successful is probably one of the most heartwarming mother-daughter relationships I've seen on dramaland. It's just so subtle, and when you realize just how much her mom has been there for her... and it is just so beautiful. I like the fact that Ji Ho gets to finally see her mother's perspective and the fact that a *marriage* (and not the actual wedding), is something serious, no matter what for (love, financial reasons, a combination of/more reasons/etc). It strikes me just much this show pulls at my heartstrings. We got a bit of a slower episode to start off the week, but it was so nice to see Ji Ho's mom really take the (must deserved) spotlight. I, for one, hope that she finds happiness as well. It makes me feel a little upset that she's kind of stayed with her controlling/dominant husband all these years because, again, due to lots of traditions (and I mean, I'm sure she loves him, but the father has been, as her mom admits, a figure of authority/fear of Ji Ho''s). We see that in episode 5, about what women are often expected to do when they have kids -that is, stay home and not work outside. That is not to say that parenting/working at home is not one of the hardest jobs on the planet (and incredibly unpaid labor), but her mom was really looking out for her. AHHH love this show so so soooo much.

Refer to my comments above and you'll see why I'm a *certain* person who cares about representation. I don't want to watch a drama that perpetuates negative myths around trans identities. If it is the opposite then banzai!!! However, since a majority of dramas focus on diverse heteronormative characters, this matters. Because we dont see LGBTQ characters in many dramas, I dont want to only ones we see to be problematic. Don't like people being critical or cautious or wary of a show? Don't comment and 'complain' about my stances.

When he asked her to take a selca together: jhfjksfkldjglksjflakdjfdskl (DYINGGGGG) hahahaha

I just... need a moment to appreciate how much depth we're getting so far in this story. I honestly thought Ji Ho's attack wouldn't be addressed as importantly... like addressing the fact what was done was sexual harassment, and *almost* rape... like I'm SHOOK... a Korean drama is talking about workplace assault like this... and even going into the details of it like, 'lets all apologize and move on cause' he didn't really mean it.' Ji Ho just gave them an analogy about her being hurt and they're literally not doing a damn thing (and that's the PROBLEM). The fact that she also called herself a victim (and I would say survivor) was just... so heartbreakingly true, and I just... OMGGGG I'm seriously loving this drama more and more.... that scene was incredibly well executed. I also love the fact we're talking more about the financial aspects of marriage, as well as dating culture, and finding alternative ways of living with a partner without necessarily getting married... this might be my fav drama of the year if we keep getting such amazing writing...and LOL to Su Jin and Song Goo, I'm SOOO looking forward to what's gonna happen between those two.

I love those points! It's refreshing to see some well rounded characters. As well as characters that have a sensibility about things. I honestly hope we get less cliche for this drama and more nuances. Fingers crossed!! But it's truly a great start.

I was also going to mention that as well!!! Such a good point. It's so important to talk about/not silence gendered experiences of violence and harassment. I hope it doesn't get covered up but we shall see... I can only think of a handful of drama's that talk about this as a social/cultural issue. I honestly couldn't have said it any better... it is quite refreshing. Handling some taboo topics/ adding humor poignantly.

I would also add the way that 'hierarchies' work in SK as well. How your age determines your 'status,' in life. Even if you're younger/have better ideas, the older folks (not in an ageist way!!) tend to get more attention/seniority in ways that don't shine a light on talent younger than them. I think Ji Ho sticking up for herself, and for staying true to her script writing is also breaking down some taboos regarding 'status.'

I REALLY love the subtle/straightforward messages in this drama already. I wondered how they could keep this story rolling for 16 episodes (when I was reading the preliminary synopsis), and ohhhh boiii this is good. Here is a quick list of things I love about this series so far:
1) addressing unfair double standards in Korean culture; in terms of how sexism affects women: how the son gets treated like the Holy Grail, and his 'offspring' like future princes... it's interesting to me to see how patriarchy affects women cross-culturally, because it exists everywhere, unfortunately, and I like that we see how the series seems to be calling it out. I know the preview shows her father literally flips shit over them moving in together, but tbh, I hope Ji Ho sticks up for herself/we see her father have a 180 emotional makeover and actually dote more on his daughter. It's painful to watch how easily seduced he is by the 'filial' daughter-in-law. Blegh.

2) Having sex outside of marriage/being sexual without having a stable partner (well, for one of our characters, for now at least). I know this has been appearing in dramas from time to time, but it's always nice to see this in dramaland.

3) Se Hee's speech about the concept of time, and how human beings are the only sentient beings on earth that control of wrap themselves around time, whether that be thinking about our accomplishments at certain ages/or what happens when we turn '40'/'50.' I thought it was quite beautifully written, especially considering that's how we find out about the title of the series.

4) Ji Ho's frankness towards Se Hee regarding that *kiss* (LMAO) and how easily it was for them to make a bridge between one another after finding out they are living with each other. After the second episode, I know it's going to be interesting to see how they develop their relationship.

5) Ji Ho ACTUALLY telling the (trashy) writer how it is, and trying to preserve her work for the sake of art, instead of yet again, caving into their demands. I really hope she stays true to this path.

6) Oh and the 'kitty' named 'kitty' lol... just something I think makes this series extra lovelier.

You can google ALL of this information if you are interested/curious. The trans women (of colour) murdered have names/faces as well.

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/04/151401/transgender-women-murder-rate-us-2017

"A Human Rights Campaign and Trans People of Color Coalition study estimates trans women face 4.3 times more the risk of being murdered compared to cis women in the U.S., and at least 87% of trans people murdered from 2013 to 2015 were people of color."

https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-transgender-community-in-2017
(this is just in the US):
"In 2016, advocates tracked at least 22 deaths of transgender people in the United States due to fatal violence, the most ever recorded. These victims were killed by acquaintances, partners and strangers, some of whom have been arrested and charged, while others have yet to be identified. Some of these cases involve clear anti-transgender bias. In others, the victim’s transgender status may have put them at risk in other ways, such as forcing them into homelessness.

While the details of these cases differ, it is clear that fatal violence disproportionately affects transgender women of color, and that the intersections of racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia conspire to deprive them of employment, housing, healthcare and other necessities, barriers that make them vulnerable.

Sadly, 2017 has already seen at least 21 transgender people fatally shot or killed by other violent means. As HRC continues to work toward justice and equality for transgender people, we mourn those we have lost (see website for all of their names).

There are tons of myths perpetuated against trans people because of a cisexist system, so yes, constantly medicalizing their identities is a problem. What I'm talking about is representation. Sometimes even having trans characters in television programs can be positive for the trans community or totally counterproductive. I see this as problematic and counterproductive. I would have to watch the first episode to make an opinion about it even further. There wouldn't be a problem with pronouns if people respected them in the first place. If you're in a position of privilege/aka you are cis, you won't ever experience what trans, gender queer, or gender non-conforming folks go through because the system caters to you. Yeah, not labelling theoretically is important but try getting a passport, I.D. (like a driver's licence), or any government document without having to 'tick' off an M or and F box, especially if it doesn't align with your gender... and yes, more living would be great if statistically trans women of colour weren't one of the highest murdered people in the US/Canada (and extensively, around the globe). So yes, more living would be great if we could let people be who they want to be, or who they are, but that can be struturally and socially complicated by transphobia, genderism, and prejudice.

"Mizuki has a gender identity disorder and now lives as a man"
..... like okay... the fact that they're having a trans character makes me happy but I'm worried about how this sounds because it comes off as transphobic, so 'Mizuki' is really 'confused' about their identity and 'lives' as a 'man'... trans people AREN'T confused and don't 'choose' to live as a man or a woman, BECAUSE they are men and women... and it's not so cut/dry when it comes to gender identity... I'm worried this will be a slippery slope...if this is the original synopsis I worry precisely because they didn't say, 'Mizuki, a transwoman...' they medicalized HER identity, and used the wrong pronouns a few times... yeah... no.

Hmm I think that may be true but not necessarily... if he did that as a *career move* then I assume she would have to go higher up on the ladder in terms of responsibility for those who murdered her father for some reason we're currently unaware of. One of the mysterious 'chaebol' guys that we kept seeing talk on the phone in the dark is probably the most suspicious right now. If we see her husband (seeing as he's in Jeju-do), I highly doubt he'll be a major part of the storyline unless they bring him back, and if he does, I'm sure it'll have to be more than 'I smothered the investigation because I was greedy about my career.' I can sense a confrotnation between him and Seol Ok... but I guess we shall see.

!!! Do you know if anyone wrote an article addressing this? Political dissent in a democracy is something we need, and that governments should absoultely respect because the people elected them otherwise it would be a dictatorship... I know a lot of governments around the world are pretty damn frightening in terms of their power and influence, but dayum... I had thought about that in the back of my mind about some of his projects... that's terrible. Solidarity to all those effected for taking a stance... like shhhh*t.

Thank you for adding variety shows and an option for re-watched MDL, I love the new updates!!! <3