The Butterfly

Before the United States sent men to the moon South Korea had a futuristic space program...and...a giant fire breathing lizard visiting from out of town.

Prior to becoming a tv and film grandpa, Lee Soon Jae was an astronaut and pilot trying to celebrate his wedding night. Instead of celebrating he was called into action to observe from space an earthquake moving in a straight line toward Seoul.
Ill Woo, a young overworked scientist, tracked the phenomenon from the ground. Low and behold up popped from the ground Yongary, hungry and tearing through town looking for something to eat.

The requisite politicians and military took charge and performed all the tried-and-true tactics against a Kaiju, starting with tanks. This is where Korea broke with Japan when the tank commander didn't take long to call for a retreat. Anyone who watches these movies knows that the poor tank guys don't have a long life span when battling giant monsters. A helicopter managed to make it through, too. They also sent a plethora of missiles to pelt the beast, against Ill Woo's recommendation, which only served to strengthen the monster.

This is where I should mention the one thing I disliked about this movie. Yongary had one of the most annoying kids in monster movies, almost tying a couple of early Gamera flicks. The eight-year-old Icho delighted in pulling pranks such as using a beam his uncle invented which caused people to itch, like the poor honeymooners, and often disappearing from his older sister's care to follow Yongary around. And of course, the young scientific genius figured out what needed to be done to stop the behemoth. Ill Woo might have done the heavy lifting constructing the deadly weapon but he couldn't have done it without his plucky irritating sidekick. This was one of those movies I was rooting for the monster to eat the child.

Yongary's costume was almost on par with Godzilla's from this era, the flame nozzle in Y's mouth was quite visible, but in a rubber suit, I'm not sure how they would have worked around it. And Yongary danced, the actor inside of the suit was quite agile for all he was required to do. South Korea must have sunk some money into this movie because overall the miniatures were quite good. Not to say they were all well-constructed, one canvas backdrop of the city looked like they should have ironed it before filming. A tank that was set on fire had it's wiring showing beneath it. Oh, and the moon looked like a Death Star prototype. But other than those few quibbles, the miniatures, forced perspective, sets and overlay were pleasing and well done.

Aside from the overly precocious child, the human stories were slightly above par for an old Kaiju movie and the acting passable. The Koreans brought a more emotional element to the genre. There was no moral to the story except sometimes you have to do things you don't like to do to survive.

Yongary was a fun monster romp, with lots of monster action. Toho could be stingy with Godzilla's scenes, this movie let the monster stomp, burn, laser and dance his way through South Korea before being brought low. A word of caution, the ending was a bit gruesome for the time period. Yongary was better than Son of Godzilla that came out in the same year, not saying much I know. I would have rated this slightly higher except for Yongary's diminutive fan who seemed to pop up in nearly every scene. If you enjoy giant monster movies from this time period and all the camp and tiny planes that entails, you might want to try this one.

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Human Lanterns was a grotesque kung fu horror movie. Two rich men in a small town vied at every chance to outdo and humiliate each other, opening a crack that let in a deadlier presence to further fuel their hatred and destroy their luxurious lives.

The opening scene laid open the conflict as Lung (Tony Liu) and Tan (Chen Kuan Tai) fought over a prostitute at a village celebration. Tan showed off the lantern he was going to use at the lantern festival and Lung determined to outshine him with an even more exquisite lantern. In order to win, Lung had to find a master lantern maker who turned out to be a rival he had humiliated years ago. Thinking money could smooth over anything Lung hired Chao (Lo Lieh) which propelled into motion deadly consequences.

The title refers to lanterns made with human skin and Chao set about using people close to the men to craft the gruesome light fixtures. Lung and Tan blamed each other for the disappearances of their loved ones while the inept police led by Sgt Poon (Sun Chien) flailed about between the two powerful men.

To be perfectly honest, I am not a horror fan and had to fast forward through some of the bloodier scenes of Chao working on his victims. Despite the age of the film, it was disturbing enough for me to try and avoid most of the scenes once he began to work. For the faint of heart, it did show flaying.

Tony Liu and Chen Kuan Tai played their roles stoically with some bravado, pretty much copy and paste from other performances. Neither Lung nor Tan would be considered heroes, more concerned about their rivalry and honor than the well-being of their missing loved ones. The real star of this movie was Lo Lieh who stole every scene he was in with his unhinged performance as the maniacal killer seeking revenge for the loss of his honor years ago. With his facial expressions and fluid body motion he dominated the screen with his malevolent presence.

The movie kept the story moving at a rapid clip, interspersing fight scenes between gore and the over-the-top squabbling between Lung and Tan. Most of the fights were more pose-fu than well-choreographed fast fights. They were slow and then even slower when slow-motion was used. The final fight was the best of the lot, destructive, deadly, and extreme. There was sword work, kung fu, and wire fu. Maybe it was because Lo Lieh was involved that I enjoyed it more, he upped the energy and stakes, regardless, the final fight was intense.

The sets and costumes were well done. The silver lame was kept to a minimum and the sets weren’t some of the cheaper ones designed for people to be thrown through the walls. The wealthy men’s homes seemed appropriately opulent while Chao’s dungeon was eerily macabre.

Unlike many Shaw Brothers films this one has a proper ending. Too often the stories end abruptly as if the crew ran out of film. For the most part, everyone got what they deserved, even if I thought one of the characters got off too lightly. I downgraded the film some due to the grisly scenes only the women had to go through. This older kung fu movie went too far in titillating the audience with female nudity and deaths.

Human Lanterns is not a film for everyone to be sure. At its heart HL was a story about the price paid for hubris and pride. The cast is what drew me to it, HL was loaded with familiar faces and stuntmen. If you enjoy old martial arts movies and/or old horror movies, this one might be of interest to you.

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Anyone who brings trouble...answers to my fist!

Lo Lieh and Don Wong Tao began this movie as the unstoppable Kung Fu Dynamic Duo of Crime Fighting. Bad guys were no match for these awesome fighters.

Unfortunately, the partnership and fun didn’t last for long, as the synopsis says, Chow Lung (Lo Lieh) died when Meng Hu (Don Wong) accidentally caused his partner’s death. The movie quickly turned into a melodrama and Meng Hu relegated himself to the coward of the county status, vowing to never fight again. Even when Chung Tung and his wicked golden needles skills and gang of miscreants showed up threatening to bring opium to and through town. Even when his new friends’ lives were threatened. This is not one of my favorite tropes. The skilled warrior decides to never fight again because of the loss of one life, but in the process many others are killed. Eventually, the depressed hero decided to act and take on the white-haired needle thrower and his crew. The body count ran pretty high in Fatal Needles.

Don Wong, in his Bruce Lee wig, did well in his fights and portraying the mopey hero. He didn’t add much depth to the character or excitement though. Lo Lieh in his jaunty hat made the most of his brief screen time during the early scenes. Chang Yi, as the white-haired evil doer, had no problem bringing life to his character. There were numerous supporting characters, some more memorable than others. The fighter with what looks like a hairy squid on his chest will not be forgotten.

The fights were adequate, not very creative or fast, but serviceable. Though there was a revenge fight and a duel there were no training scenes, no secret book, no secret list, just a battle against the deadly golden needle thrower and his minions. The final battle between the two elite warriors on opposite sides of the law was weak after all the build-up leading to it.

The women had strong roles even if two of them were prostitutes. Two fought with cunning, another with her fists and kicks. The movie did come to a screeching halt at one point when one of the prostitutes launched into a lengthy anti-drug Public Service Announcement.

Fatal Needles vs Deadly Fists had more story, and though I wasn’t a fan of the trope, more comprehensible story than many old kung fu movies. At times engaging, at other times plodding, Fatal Needles was entertaining overall.

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Run!

A Korean attempt at a Kaiju movie, a bad attempt, a disastrous attempt. Abandon hope all ye who enter here!

Before there was Jurassic Park, Dr. Kim Jin Young believed in the Prehistoric Dinosaur Resurrection Theory. In this movie, it meant he thought dinosaurs buried in the ice and earth would be set free because of global warming. He spent most of the movie wandering around the beaches and caves on a remote island looking for evidence to prove his theory. Part of the time he also ranted to the sky about how everyone thought he was crazy. Buddy, if you don’t want to be considered crazy, you might want to stop ranting everywhere you go. An intrepid reporter imbedded herself in his home as a housekeeper to gather information on his secret new theory. She ended up bonding with his young daughter when she wasn't sunning herself on the beach. I should mention, his badly dubbed daughter who took up a lot of the screen time. Actually, everyone was badly dubbed but the adult voice on the little girl was jarring.

After nearly three quarters of the film watching the scientist wandering and ranting in the rocks, the monsters finally showed up. Pretty sure none of these freaky creatures have been found in the fossil records. If birds are descendants of dinosaurs, thank goodness none of them retained the fire breathing, laser shooting abilities of these guys. The rubber suits were awful, even in comparison to old Godzilla movies. The monster sounds were even worse, and monsters appeared and then reappeared inconceivably. To top it off, most of the miniatures were subpar and they kept using some of the same sets only with different monsters destroying them.

The editing of this film was incomprehensible. The story bounced between characters with no cohesive plot development. The intrepid reporter’s main job was to change outfits between each scene and take care of the daughter. None of the characters were particularly likeable and there were only three main characters! The shots of the monsters made no sense. Actually, nothing about this movie made any sense. The ending was bizarre and abrupt as well. This film didn’t even have the courtesy of being so bad it was good. It’s one of the most poorly put together movies I’ve ever watched, and I watch a lot of old Kaiju and kung fu movies so that’s saying something. Only if you are a Kaiju movie enthusiast and want to add it to your list, or if you have a high pain threshold for badly spliced together movies would you want to watch this.

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Mind and body fall away

This 2009 film follows the spiritual quest and enlightenment of the Japanese Buddhist Dogen Zenj who brought Zen Buddhism to Japan in the 1200’s. I can only comment on this film as a non-Buddhist and one who hasn’t studied Zen Buddhism and the life of Dogen. My review is based on the artistic endeavor.

The film followed Dogen on his spiritual journey which took him from Japan to China to have his questions answered and in search of a true Buddhism. The scenery was spectacular as this lone man traveled in a foreign land. He found one master who was more concerned with politics and later, a sage who was a cook at a temple. All the main highlights were touched upon as he discovered Zen Buddhism, became enlightened, returned to Japan to share what he had learned and then inevitably ran up against the sect in power that didn’t like new ideas, and finally, the events ending in his death.

The performances were for the most part subdued as you would expect in a film about Buddhist monks. Nakamura Kantarou didn’t have much to do except look serene and introspective which he did well. Uchida Yuki brought a spark to the film as Orin, a prostitute, whose path led to Dogen which changed her life. Orin had the most obvious character development in the film which made it easier to be invested in her limited story. The monks practicing detachment also made it hard for this viewer to become emotionally attached to them.

The film suffered at times from choppy editing and storytelling. Characters appeared without any backstory to let us know who they were and time jumps happened without any warning. A segment involving headless ghosts and swarming CGI butterflies probably sounded better on paper than it looked and would have been best omitted. The moon played a large role (sometimes Earth destroying large!) and had to be interpreted symbolically. At times in a film grounded in realism, the supernatural CGI elements seemed out of place and didn’t really add anything.

To enjoy this film, it would help if you are interested in religious history or the life of Dogen. It is slow paced with many scenes of people sitting and meditating. I do enjoy these types of spiritual journey films, even at that, it could be plodding at times. Overall, I enjoyed it, and as a niche film could recommend it though I suspect the greater movie audience would not find it as interesting.

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This 1933 silent film portrayed a strong FL who had to work as a hostess to provide for her son after her husband abandoned them during depression era Japan.

Director Naruse Mikio focused this film, at times in a melodramatic way, on some of the struggles people endured during this economically depressed era. Omitsu was relentless and dedicated to her child and the friends who helped her. She had a backbone of steel hidden under her kimono. Even when her husband showed back up in her life after three years, penniless and nearly shoeless, she initially refused him. In the end she took him in, unlike some older movies where the husband is a total mooch and abusive, Mizuhara was a good father and at least attempted to find work. Turned away at every potential job because of his physical frailty, his mental and emotional frailty began to decline as well.

The version I watched had no music which was a little jarring at first, but I found the rhythm quickly. The film had also faded in places, not enough to detract from the story though. Naruse used symbolic foreshadowing with a child’s toy and images of the water to good effect. For a 1933 silent film, the cinematography, shots, and sets were all quite good.

Kurishima’s accomplished performance as a woman who refused to give up on life and her child’s future was beauty to behold. Saito Tatsuo, as the ne’er do well husband, gave his character enough likeability as he played with the children to help the viewer understand what might have drawn Kurishima to him. The supporting characters rounded out the performances well without resorting to overacting. I’m always amazed at how well a story can be told with minimal dialogue, and this was one of those cases.

Every Night Dreams briefly dipped into melodrama though given the times, perhaps not that much. Life was often balanced on the edge of a knife during those dark days for many people. Some had the strength to survive, and some did not. Omitsu blazed a trail for future female characters who were not afraid of the future but who faced it head on.

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Don’t lose to yourself before the fight begins

Master of the Nine Dragon Fist: Wong Ching Ho is like an old school martial arts film only with good sets, costumes, and music. Also, without the fire and energy of the oldies.

This movie focuses on Wong Ching Ho who has a martial arts school and forms a fragile alliance with the other schools to drive the British East India and their opium out of town. The Big Bad Brit, Mr. James, with a strange almost French accent, the dubbing is quite bad for the English speakers, sparks a plan to use a newly arrived country bumpkin to take down Wong Ching Ho. He has the local magistrate and spies in the different schools in his well-moneyed pocket.

Mun Sing, the country bumpkin, challenges Wong Ching Ho to a duel. If he wins, Mr. James will give him his own school. Wong’s pregnant wife is attacked during the duel and Wong abandons the duel to see to her. This action fractures the alliance of schools. He does the requisite training sequence which was actually pretty dull and takes on Mun again. This time there is subterfuge and a set-up which leads him to becoming a fugitive. Eventually, there is another training sequence where he develops the Nine Dragon Fist so that he can clear his name and take down the Big Bad Brit. A wise old master helps him clear the poison from his heart so that he can fight effectively.

The plot was fine for a martial arts film, thin, but adequate. Some of the acting was better than others, some was pretty awful. The fights were aesthetic, though lacking in creativity and energy. The problem I have with these HBO Asia films is that they are bland. Vanilla ice cream without the vanilla bland. They are lacking in urgency and energy. The most compelling character was that of Mun Sing, the duped fighter from out of town. If the martial alliance had allowed him to find work or join one of the schools much of the tragedies could have been avoided. He was just trying to feed his family. Wong Ching Ho came across as wooden and unenthusiastic, not the most relatable hero.

The Nine Dragon Fist is one of those short martial arts movies if you run across and have nothing better to do would be worth trying. Not one I’d recommend seeking out or paying to watch.

In case you were wondering what constitutes The Nine Dragon Fist---
1) Dragon Fist OG
2) Swimming Dragon
3) Whirling Dragon
4) Sinking Dragon
5) Whipping Dragon
6) Splitting Dragon
7) Coiling Dragon
8) Intertwining Dragon
9) Flying Dragon

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Dead people can’t use money

Three years after the events of The Sentimental Swordsman, Ti Lung is back in the title role to take on the Money Clan who is determined to rule the martial world. One of Shaw Brothers’ big money makers, Return of the Sentimental Swordsman had a star-studded cast with many famous Hong Kong actors in roles large and small.

Like many movies regarding the martial world, the large cast was needed so that duels could take place to see who was really the best. Aside from Ti Lung, Lo Lieh appeared as the leader of a beggar kung fu clan who worked for whoever paid best. Yueh Hua, Yuen Wah, Yuen Bun, Kara Hui, Tony Liu, and Ching Li all made appearances. The main characters aside from Ti, were Derek Yee as his friend who had been beguiled by a femme fatale since last they met, Ku Feng was the ruthless leader of the Money Clan, and Alexander Fu Sheng starred as Ku Feng’s adopted son.

Ti Lung’s character, Li Xun Huan had become a traveling alcoholic after the trials of the first movie. But like Michael Corleone in The Godfather II, every time he tried to get out of the martial world they kept pulling him back in. He needed to save his friend, A Fei, and stop the Money Clan’s nefarious plans. However, being ranked #3, he kept being challenged by those ranked below him to see if Little Li’s Legendary Daggers were as fast as rumored to be. Alexander Shu Fei as the Left Hand Sacred Knife pulled off a Princess Bride (1987 film-check it out if you haven’t!) moment that had me laughing.

The fights were adequate, some quite well choreographed, but many were more theatrical than fast and accurate. There were a variety of weapons and techniques used which was entertaining. Nearly everything was filmed on the movie lot, but the sets and scenery were better than some other Shaw productions.

Ti Lung made a sentimental and sympathetic character, though Alexander Shu Fei’s conflicted character was nearly as compelling. Derek Yee’s side-kick came across more pathetic then sympathetic. Lo Lieh’s short appearance was powerful as the playful and lethal beggar clan leader. Ku Feng nearly always turns in a powerful supporting performance, this time as the Big Bad.

If you enjoy old martial arts films and haven’t watched Return of the Sentimental Swordsman, this is one to check out, if only for spotting all the famous actors and bit players popping up on screen. Far from perfect and rated on my old, niche grading curve, this Sentimental Swordsman was an entertaining 90ish minutes fight for supremacy and honor.

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The Touch is a slightly above average Hong Kong adventure film starring Michelle Yeoh. It was the first film from her production company and was directed by Peter Pau, the cinematographer from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2002).

I'll start with the bad so that I can end on a positive note. The pacing was off and the editing was choppy at times. Some of the young actors weren't very believable, especially the actor playing Michelle's younger brother. The CGI was bad, early video games bad, and in one particular scene no one seemed to be following the normal laws of gravity and physics. The conflict also ended too early.

Now, onto the good, or at least the better. Michelle Yeoh played a splendid acrobatic Indiana Jones, capable of dispatching evil doers with her fists, kicks, and seemingly magic scarf. The fight choreography wasn't the strongest, but she managed to bring the fight charisma regardless. The Big Bad, Richard Roxburgh (Moulin Rouge!), played the villain without going completely over the top, which had to be difficult given the dialogue. Ben Chaplin did an adequate job as Michelle's ne're do well ex-lover who brought her the key to the holy missing relic she was in charge of. Dane Cook who played the Big Bad's useless brother gave some comic relief, which did seem out of place in a movie that more often than not played it straight. I'm back to sounding ambivalent again.

The scenery and sets were top notch and the OST fit beautifully. Overall, the look and sound of the film were quite good. It's unfortunate that the well-trod story wasn't pulled together better with consistency, coherency, better fight sequences, and better dialogue.

If you go into this movie with low expectations, you may find a diverting film. For me, a movie with Michelle Yeoh is never a waste of time.

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The truth is out there!

Au Revoir UFO or as it's also known, Hello UFO, is a delightful romantic comedy featuring two romantic misfits. It has all the traditional tropes we've come to love and hate back when they were newer and throws in a couple of quick UFO visits just to shake things up.

Lee Bum Soo gives a heartfelt performance as Sang Hyeon, a bus driver, whose main joy in the world comes from playing DJ on the mixed tapes he makes for his bus passengers to hear. Lee Eun Joo gives a far more reserved take on her character, Kyung Woo, a blind woman who was recently dumped by her boyfriend. She moved to the outer limits of Seoul to heal and also so that she might once again experience a UFO sighting. They cute meet twice, with Sang Hyeon too afraid to tell her that he is the bus driver and DJ she doesn't care for, giving her a false name and job. Despite his subterfuge, they slowly build a friendship that grows deeper as they spend time together.

UFO is enjoyable, if dated looking. It won't shock you with any serial killer plot twists or reward you with award worthy performances. There are no deep dives into character motivations or childhood connections. When you need a soothing, sweet, gently funny, friends to lovers, old fashioned romance, this 2004 romcom might be one worth checking out.

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If it was HBO Asia's desire to remake a 1970's kung fu movie and remove big chunks of the kung fu this is what it would look like. Beggar So seeks to be more than a martial arts film but doesn't have enough coherent narrative or charismatic acting to accomplish the task.

When watching this movie, it might help to do as I did, and reframe it as an episode of a drama because that was what it was closer to than a well-funded film. In comparison to old kung fu movies, the sets and costumes were more elaborate and on par with your average historical Cdrama. The story was as basic as any kung fu movie. The evil eunuch once again appears to wreak havoc on the good and innocent in his bid for power. In this instance, he took So's court position and wealth and nearly his life. Rescued by the Beggar Clan, So learned the Drunken Fist from a master. After several set-backs, So becomes Beggar So and confronts the Big Bads with his new found skills. Most of us could recite the basic structure in our sleep and HBO Asia doesn't attempt to reinvent the martial arts wheel. Mores the pity, kung fu films don't have to stay stuck in the past even if they are set there.

The acting was adequate for the most part. The dubbing for the women was atrocious and distracting. I actually watched it muted for a while and just read the subtitles.

Beggar So's narrative jumped around with characters appearing and disappearing without much explanation. It would go from more realistic to fantasy fighting. Plot elements like certain characters appeared and disappeared as well, popping up when convenient or disappearing when inconvenient.

An early fight showed promise even though the setting under a table was ludicrous. The table would have to be five feet high for what they were doing under it, but at least the fight was entertaining. The writer and director must have forgotten it was named The Drunken Fist because So sure did at times. Everyone seemed able to beat So for much of the movie. The final fight looked more like professional wrestling than drunken fighting. Despite the lack of consistency in the fighting choreography, Beggar So would have benefited with more fights to cover over the thin, very thin storyline.

Master of the Drunken Fist: Beggar So isn't unwatchable. It's a slightly below average made for TV martial arts movie, and that bar is not very high. I've seen much, much worse. If it was made in the distant past of the 1970's I would have graded it on a curve. Beggar So begged to have better acting and writing, thus my grade. Not a terrible watch if it happens to show up on TV but I wouldn't go out of my way to find it.

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I almost skipped over this movie when it was showing on a Kaiju marathon. That would have been a mistake. The War of the Gargantuas was absurd monster fun.

Unlike a lot of Toho monster movies where the monsters don't show up for half an hour (Godzilla I'm looking at you), the monsters showed up early and often. The big green Frankenstein/Gargantua introduced himself when he fought a giant octopus at sea. The enormous sasquatches were called Frankensteins because their origins were from a lab. For the millionth time, Frankenstein was the name of the mad scientist who created the patched together monster, not the monster. But I digress. The initial brotherly love between the gargantuas was sweet until the ginormous good guy realized his bro was a man-eating monster.

In one scene, a singer aboard a ship belts out what felt like the longest song in movie history called "The Words Get Stuck in My Throat". An interesting choice of words right before the ship was attacked. Big Green liked to eat people whole and then spit out their clothes when they got stuck in his throat.

The actors were about what you'd expect from a monster movie from 1966. I was surprised to see Russ Tamblyn who starred in West Side Story (Riff) show up as one of Frankenstein's scientists. He looked like it was the last place he wanted to be, and I've read he was difficult to work with. Too bad. The people who came to watch the movie were looking to have fun and he missed out on the party. Ifukube Akira's score, familiar from his work in the Godzilla movies was well done as always even if some of the work sounded as if it were spliced in from other films.

What I was most impressed with were the miniatures. The houses were detailed, the forests were well done as well as the weaponry and ships. At times in these movies, the miniature buildings were obviously cardboard, these miniatures looked well crafted.

The biggest drawbacks were the monster costumes. They were bad, not King Kong (KK vs Godzilla) moth eaten costume bad, but not great. On the positive side, the costumes did allow for greater body movement, so unlike Godzilla and his buddies, the monsters' movements were less stilted. Many of the scenes from the movie featured one or both of the Frankensteins which made this flexibility advantageous.

This is a movie only for people who enjoy these old monster movies. You can't go into it expecting great acting and a riveting, logical storyline. War of the Gargantuas was ridiculous, but fun. As always, I score older niche movies on a curve.

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A martial arts movie with Jim "Black Belt" Kelly, Dorian "Flash Legs" Tan, and Chen Sing with a side order of Bolo. You can tell it's a 1970's movie by the bad hair, bad clothes, cheesy story, and cheesier dialogue. It's bad, but in the so bad it's funny category. It was a late night, found it on tv watch for me and the cast interested me.

This review is for the sanitized version cut for television. The uncut original version has a lot of cursing and gratuitous nudity. It would probably get a much lower score from me even graded on my old kung fu movie curve.

The story is almost incoherent with terrible editing and of course, the censored cuts. Flash Legs works for big bad Chen Sing who saved him as a child. Chen Sing's gang stole a famous diamond, and they are trying to find a way to fence it. Black Belt Kelly shows up as an insurance investigator whose job it is to find out what happened to said diamond. There are double crosses and lots of high kicking fighting. Jim Kelly, Dorian Tan, Chen Sing, Bolo, and Chiang Tao all did well with their fights even if the fights were cheesy at times.

Tattoo Connection is not a movie I'd recommend unless you're a fan of any of the above. The fights were decent, and it boasted familiar faces to those who watch old martial arts movies. If you find yourself unable to sleep and it's on television, and you're easily amused, you can give it a try. Do not expect good acting, respectful treatment of women, or a storyline that makes too much sense. Bring some crackers and enjoy the cheese.

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Mongolian Ping Pong is a charming slice of life film about two families living in the vast, verdant, Mongolian steppe. The great adventure for three little boys begins when one of them finds a ping pong ball floating in a stream. Not knowing what it is, he goes in search of answers. Ultimately, he finds out vaguely that it is a ping pong ball, and that ping pong is the national game, and the small white orb is the national ball. The seven-year-old makes the leap in logic that he has THE national ball and must return it to Beijing. The problem being, neither he nor his friends know where Beijing is.

Much of this film is wrapped up in showing slow, flowing shots of the terrain, an endless sea of green, distantly bordered by mountains. The boys live in a world without electricity and running water. There are no phones, video games, or computers. One father buys a television, but even using his long herding rod as an antenna with cans and cooking strainers attached, can't get a signal. Climbing, exploring, riding their horses, playing with sling shots, and contemplating the mystery and responsibility of their new found treasure fills their days.

The strength of this film is in its hospitality and letting us be guests, sharing for a few brief moments, in a world foreign to most of us. There are no great conflicts outside of the ping pong ball, although it is obvious that a creeping consumerism is beginning to invade the old way of doing things. For the most part, it is best to simply immerse yourself in the warmth and curiosity of these children and enjoy the expansive beauty of a solid green sea.

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Tony Leung Ka Fai, Maggie Cheung, and Brigette Lin have the ultimate slumber party in the middle of the desert at the Dragon Gate Inn.

The hero, Chow Wai On, sends Yau Mo Yan and some mercenaries to save the children of an executed loyal official who are being used as bait. The power mad eunuch is back at it again and this time he's cleaning house of anyone not loyal to him and he wants Chow's head on a platter. Chow and Mo Yan rescue the children and get as far as the Dragon Gate Inn in the middle of the desert. It's run by Jade who is ruthless in her own right and has an eye for Chow. Things get complicated when the Eunuch's men show up at the inn and everyone is trapped there due to the weather.

Tsui Hark did a good job of creating a claustrophobic atmosphere as deadly games were played within the inn. My problem with it was that he didn't slow the pace enough for us to get to know any of the characters. Maggie Cheung's Jade was the only one who came across with a personality. Tony Leung Ka Fai and Brigette Lin had little to do besides fight and call each others' names. He didn't have many lines, but I was happy to see Yen Shi Kwan in a supporting role. Donnie Yen was in what amounted to a guest starring role as the Eunuch.

Most of the fight scenes didn't work for me either. I have no problem with wire work but much of the focus was from underneath the fighting which made it harder to follow the movements. Swords missed by great distances. These martial arts directors usually do a much better job of interspersing real kung fu moves and narrowing the focus to show the action, here everyone seemed to be jumping around in a frenetic pants on fire style. If there was something I did really like it was that the women were capable fighters, especially Jade.

Though the characters were only in the Dragon Inn for two days it began to feel like two weeks with nothing aside from the random deaths going on. Even with hints of romance, a great cause, friendship, betrayal, etc., with all the random scenes it was hard for me to get invested in any of the characters or their relationships.

The final fight scene in a sandstorm was bonkers but couldn't make up for the messy chaos in the inn. Because this is post 1990 it doesn't get graded on a curve with me like earlier martial arts movies. If you like kung fu movies, and the cast is strong in this one with some of my favorite actors/actresses, Dragon Inn is worth seeking out. Just ask for the vegetarian meal if you ever go there.

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