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"We don't need philosophy. We need a break."
The Warrior's Gate was a clunky but affable wish fulfillment for if not teenage boys, twelve-year-old gamer boys. The movie was reminiscent of The Forbidden Kingdom only without actual martial artists in it and any real danger for the main characters.A teenaged boy named Jack spends most of his time playing a video game as the Black Knight. His house is about to be foreclosed on which doesn't seem to bother him much. After school he works in an antique shop for Mr. Chang who gifts him a large Chinese basket/box. The next thing Jack knows Warrior Zhao (Mark Chao) and Princess Su Lin (Ni Ni) pop out of it looking for his help thinking he is the great warrior The Black Knight. Jack ends up guiding the English speaking Ni Ni through his world, taking her to the mall. When the bad guys show up to kidnap the princess, Jack has to follow them into the basket which takes him to what is supposed to be ye olden times China. Warrior Zhao and a wizard accompany him to help him free the princess with sword and magic. Along their journey, Jack teaches Zhao to break dance and swim. Dave Bautista plays Arun the Cruel, the Horrible, the Terrible, the Miserable who wants to marry the princess who is to become the Empress giving him the fast track to becoming Emperor.
Uriah Shelton was soft and non-threatening as the fish out of water who became a fighter, wooed a princess, and taught Zhao that he needed to take time to have fun. Mark Chao made for a believable warrior and was able to play the straight man to several jokes. He was so darn sexy and capable that it was hard to accept the Caucasian, timid teenager as being of any use. Before you could say "wax on, wax off", Zhao taught Jack one move in a few minutes and the next thing you knew the kid was capable of taking on battle hardened barbarians. And you knew that when he returned to the present, those bullies would be no problem and he would resolve his mom's financial problems with his mad gaming skills. Ni Ni was largely wasted as the princess though she always lit up the screen when she was on it. Bautista made for a large and properly menacing Arun the Cruel, with a few funny quirks. Francis Ng was fine as the strange Wizard who popped in and out to help the heroes. Kara Hui showed up briefly as a witch to challenge the two heroes on a narrow mountain path.
As a flight of fantasy with a thoroughly likeable cast it was not horrible. It wasn't very good either with cringe worthy humor and suffering from a white savior complex. The overly familiar paradigm was about as creative as white bread. Mark Chao and Ni Ni are such strong performers, it felt almost shameful to focus on the teenage boy. Also, the romance didn't work for me. Uriah was playing a young teenager (he was 19 when this film came out) and Ni Ni was 28. It was hard to see what the princess saw in him. Everyone speaking English was also jarring. Perhaps this film would have worked better as strictly a fantasy and not tried to make it ancient China.
This did not look like a 2016 film, but more like one from the late 1980's or early 1990's. Think Karate Kid crossed with The Forbidden Kingdom. The film must have been aimed at young boys giving them an avatar and showing poor Ni Ni in skimpy clothes. The beautiful princess of course fell in love with the nerdy kid. The inexplicable "romance" was chaste and anemic. There were a few curse words and some mostly bloodless killings if you were thinking of letting a child watch it. For adults there were no surprises in this bland and lackluster movie. It did overestimate how much this viewer could suspend her sense of disbelief on too many occasions. The thoughts that kept me most occupied during this film were ones wishing Mark Chao and Ni Ni would work together again in their own movie or drama with no fish out of water gamer to ruin the illusion.
4/5/23
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"Breaking one arrow is easy, a bundle is not"
A Home with a View is a rather typical Hong Kong comedy with lots of yelling and manic action. What sets it apart is its theme about overcrowded living spaces in the densely populated city and the emotional pressure it puts on the residents crammed into their homes. The overacting and nearly constant yelling could be off-putting, but the story underneath had a current of societal desperation and sinister truth running through it.The Lo family lives in a crowded apartment which gives them no real privacy. They are paying a large mortgage in order to have a slice of visibility of the harbor. Tempers erupt on a regular basis, but are soothed when the family clusters around the small window and drink in the tiny tranquil view of nature. They live in a building with people as crazy, er, eccentric as themselves. Unaware of their own distracting noise, the mother picks fights with the butcher (Lam Suet) who lives upstairs while the kids yell at the old man below whose tobacco smoke drifts into their apartment at dinner time. While the father seeks peace with the neighbors, sometimes in an overly generous fashion, the rest of the family pretty much finds themselves in conflict with everyone. This is not just a failing on their part, no one around them is looking for harmony with each other either. The contentious Lo family's only pressure valve is threatened when a callous neighbor erects a garish billboard with Karl Maka's face on it obstructing their view.
Wong (Louis Koo), a lonely man who feels unseen, refuses to take down the billboard, relishing the attention. The family runs up against an immovable and uncaring bureaucratic wall of paper. A fight over whether it's art or advertising ensues. Ultimately, the family is found in the right, but the process for removing the hated monstrosity could take years or even decades. They can't even sell their flat as the loss of the harbor view drastically devalued their home. Meanwhile the family is slowly descending into madness without their precious view. The film takes a dark turn as they run out of options and coping mechanisms.
There were some odd scenes thrown into the mix. A truly unique teenage pregnancy scene where it comes to light helping a schoolmate deliver a baby will earn you a demerit. You also would not want to do battle with Mama Lo over a fish in the market. Every element of society seemed on edge in the manmade cement prison.
The family was not alone in its need for something to bring them peace. The offending butcher above found nightly peace in his pork pies. The old man dying of cancer below escaped into his evening smokes and eventually into death. The Lo family dealt with their existential crisis in a decidedly permanent manner. The film explored family and the people struggling daily to survive financially and with their sanity intact in the overcrowded city. The Lo Family united first at their serene window, then in their fight against Wong, and in the end…their madness.
4/4/23
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What's love got to do with it?
Pearl Chang Ling starred as the Invincible Swordswoman, or in this movie's case, The Heavenly Swordswoman Pai Yu Sung. This wuxia had it all-death, revenge, multiple betrayals, disguises, and unrequited love. Death and maiming occurred via swords, bamboo spikes, poison darts, and iron hands. And what would a Ming Dynasty martial arts movie be without a duplicitous and deadly eunuch guiding the evil events?Pai Yu Sung had disappeared after the death of her father by the Eunuch Ma Tang. She returned as the man Pai Tong about the time the bad guys were searching for her to kill her and the good guys were searching for her to help them. Tu Yueh Pian hated and loved her. When they were young he'd been obsessively in love with her and wanted to be close to her, resulting in their master blinding his one eye when he tried to take advantage of her. Yung Tsin Tsin, Tu's old classmate wanted Pai dead because she was in love with Tu and was obsessively jealous of the great swordswoman. The Eunuch Ma Tung who had Pai's father killed wanted her dead as well because he thought she was a threat to him. The woman had more enemies than she knew what to do with. A strange beggar named Lee Chiu ended up taking her side and watching her back.
A kung fu tournament was held to try and draw Pai out. It would be a chance for the bad guys to kill her and the good guys to use her to take a secret box with evidence against Ma Tang to the proper authorities. The tournament was held on a spectacular set built of bamboo spears. The combatants had to fight using the weapon of their choice on the top of the spears. Lo Lieh showed up with a metal hand that had an endless supply of poison darts. After winning her fights, Pai met with the young master Wang to take possession of the secret box and the betrayals, impersonations, poisonings, and killings began in earnest and did not end until the final credits.
Pearl made for a confident swordswoman who was seeking justice for her father. Cliff Lok as Lee/Ni Chiu, at first seemed to be the comic relief but evolved into one of the most important and sympathetic characters. Tsung Hua's Tu Yueh Pian, was far from sympathetic and I'm still not sure what the writer wanted us to feel about him. His angry obsessive "love" seemed to only make Pearl and me feel repulsion. Chiang Ming's Ma Tang came across as almost super human with a magical throne. Yueh Hua had brief appearances at the beginning and the end of the film. Fan Ling as the jealous Tsin Tsin swung her sword with authority as she grudgingly gained respect for Pai and sided with her in the battle against Ma.
Most of the sword-fights were quite good for this era, a little above swing and fall. There was quite a bit of wuxia light body work, aka wire-fu, for those who are averse to it. The tournament on bamboo spears occupied much of the middle of the film and used diverse enough skills to keep it interesting along with several subsequent impalements. And then as now, when a cross-dressing character's hair was let down, everyone knew Pai Tong was a woman. Men had long hair as well, so I've never figured that one out, but those are the genre's rules. The final battle was one of skill and heart as the good guys fell at an alarming rate against the invincible Ma's three sword attack. Almost no one walked away into the sunset after this movie's blood baths.
I quite enjoyed Pearl's performance and surprisingly for me Cliff Lok's. The fights were fast and entertaining with enough carnage to make them credible even with the moments of flight. If you enjoy old martial arts films, this is one to try. As always, I grade these low budget niche films on a curve.
3/22/23
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Don't mess with her sister!
A Girl Called Tigress, a typical low budget Taiwanese kung fu flick, had a few things working in its favor. Polly Shang Kuan Ling Feng played a dual role, Kurata Yasuaki delivered his usual menacing villain role, and before he was typecast in villain roles, "Mallet Fist" Chin Kang played a good guy. There was even a semblance of a story that wasn't based on a secret list!Polly played Shu Fung, a hot headed martial artist who was searching for her mild mannered twin sister, Mishi. When she stopped on her journey for a quick bite to eat she was accosted by several thugs. Big mistake on their part. After Polly had a table flipping, face kicking good time, the thugs ran off with their tails between their legs. Per usual, thugs in martial arts movies have plenty of other jerks to call on and they waited for her in the woods. As she was holding them off, Chin Kang arrived to help her out. Everyone thought she was Big Bad Chiau Kung's woman, who of course turned out to be her sister. Chin Kang was in town to solve a murder and several thefts. Mishi, the twin sister, had gotten into a "Runaway Joe" situation when she left her family to be with A Chung, the unlucky thief who died at the hands of Chiau Kung. Chiau had kept Mishi locked in his compound ever since. Eventually, all the parties collided as Shu Fung attempted to free her sister from Chiau and Chin Kang sought the evidence to arrest Chiau on, while Chiau and his gang tried to kill all the other parties involved including a rival boss who owned a brick kiln where the goods had been hidden! Suffice to say, there were plenty of fights!
Lung Fong's and Leung Siu Chung's fight choreography was kick heavy and Polly was athletic and fierce enough to keep up. Kurata was fast and as always, fun to watch. Chin Kang's size and surprising agility along with his meaty fists made for entertaining fights as well. I was pleased that Polly's character was able to dish out the final vengeance instead of leaving it to the larger Chin Kang. The cast boasted a large number of actors who could double as stuntmen and they made the hits and kicks convincing as they flew and tumbled backwards. The final long fight's choreography was done well enough to make it believable, not an easy task when having an actress spar with Kurata.
Polly played cocky in a way that wasn't a turnoff and took no prisoners with her attitude. Chin Kang made for a likeable good guy. He, like Lo Lieh, would end up largely typecast as villains during their careers. Kurata Yasuaki, a real-life karate expert, played menacing and skeevy like no one else.
This movie will not go down as a great kung fu flick or even one of Polly's best, but it delivered what it promised-double the Polly and almost non-stop action with a mostly coherent story. For fans of Polly Shang Kuan Ling Feng and old martial arts movies that's usually enough.
3/22/23
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Absurd and lewd
This Yes Madam is not to be confused with Cynthia Khan's other movie Yes Madam 2 (1988) or Michelle Yeoh's Yes Madam (1985). While Cynthia Khan did play a cop, the movie veered into the fantasy realm with the most oddball villains and good guys. The story refused to be taken seriously resulting in a headache of a viewing experience trying to make sense of the haphazard script and even worse acting.This review will be short as the movie was not entertaining for me. Cynthia Khan played a cop for the A-Team and her boyfriend was a security guard who happened to break up a criminals' fight and ended up with a book filled with money. The bad guys wanted the book back. The boyfriend's family ended up being kidnapped by the bad guys in exchange for the book. Two gangs of bad guys double-crossed each other making an exchange for the merchandise resulting in the most ridiculous and poorly choreographed fight scenes I've ever seen.
The bad and the strange: Starting first with the boyfriend's family---The sister was over the top strange. She was shown making an elaborate meal for the cat but only ordered delivery pizza from a guy dressed as Superman for the family with a stack of boxes from previous meals sitting in the corner. One young boy dressed like Goku (Dragonball) and practiced kung fu in his room. The other lecherous child had the magical power to steal women's bras and panties off their bodies. And for some reason there was a pin-up poster of a half-naked woman hanging in the dining room behind the dining table. Khan's boss was also pervy. The bad guys looked like they were cos-playing anime baddies wearing strange costumes and hair pieces. Several of them had face paint or huge owl-like eyebrows.
The story made no sense, beginning with the first random fight right up until the final scene. The writers threw in the most arbitrary things which made scenes even more chaotic and incomprehensible. This is a movie only for those who love absurd Taiwanese films with lewd humor. For me, this movie was a beating and I am happy to have it in my rearview mirror.
3/19/23
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Miss Manners for martial arts
Martial Club followed Wong Fei Hung from goofball show-off to accomplished and more thoughtful fighter. Though the story wasn't too compelling it had some interesting fights in it. Gordon Liu, Robert Mak, and Kara Hui as three young fighters from two different schools had a nice, if not too dynamic camaraderie. If it feels like I'm damning this movie with faint praise, I probably am.The movie opens with an elaborate Lion Dance that is interrupted by a rival school led by Lu Zheng Fu (Chu Tit Wo). Wong Fei Hung's father (Ku Feng) and Master Zheng Tian Shou (Wilson Tong) attempt to keep the peace with the troublesome school. Meanwhile, Wong Fei Hung and his buddy Wang Jinlin (Mak) have more fun horsing around and picking fights with paid marks than they do actually training at their respective martial arts schools. Wang Juying (Hui) has a crush on WFH and runs interference for her brother Jinlin. Along comes Master Shan Xiong (Johnny Wang), a fellow from the North, and apparently all people from the north are considered rubes and less intelligent, in a classic case of miscommunication, he delivers a punishing blow to Jinlin, stopping short of killing him. The aftermath causes WFH to rethink his devil may care attitude and he decides to commit to his training while Jinlin continues to hang out at the brothels.
Shan joins up with an old acquaintance at the rival school to the other two. Think Slytherin vs Hufflepuff and Gryffindor. The shady Lu's son (King Lee) and his buddies trick Jinlin at the brothel and nearly beat him to death doing nothing to help the tension between the schools. Afterwards, Lu invites the others to a Cantonese opera and then tries to have them arrested for watching the show without a ticket. An extended free for all brawl takes place until Papa Wong shows up and calms everyone down. Master Shan refrains from any of the infighting and often restrains the Lu family when he can. He tests WFH on his martial courtesy and is pleased. The two have a "friendly" duel in the Zig Zag Alley which was the highlight of the film. And then a pointless and abrupt ending.
There was little to complain about with the fights. Gordon, Robert, Kara, and Johnny were a delight to watch as always. Hsiao Ho also showed up to add some acrobatics. Gordon and Johnny's duel showcased a number of styles well done, especially as the alleyway became narrower and narrower. Kara was an elegant fighter, even if her character was a bit of a hothead. Lau Kar Leung, King Lee, and Hsiao Ho provided the creative martial arts choreography managing to make huge brawls and one-on-one fights interesting.
The problem I had with the film was that there wasn't anything really at stake except for school pride. Though the Lu School played dirty, they never received any punishment for their misdeeds because everyone was too polite and more concerned with keeping the peace. The film was largely about loyalty and martial arts decorum, manners if you will. The implied crush between WFH and Juying had no spark to it, at least on his part. Kara looked like she was trying to make some chemistry happen, but came up against Gordon's stony façade. The friendship between WFH and Jinlin faded as WFH separated himself skill-wise. Other than WFH's seemingly overnight maturity and leap in abilities, nothing actually happened in this movie except for a bunch of fights between the schools.
What I did really like. When I see Johnny Wang's name on a cast list, I immediately know who the Big Bad or the Big Bad's #1 henchman is going to be. Johnny nearly always plays a villain. This is the first film I've ever seen him play a reasonable, fair, moral character and he did a good job at it. It's a shame he didn't have more morally righteous or at least gray characters. Seeing him smile at WFH's courtesy and abilities and not because he'd just murdered a small town was something I didn't know I needed.
Things I learned about the Lion Dance and life:
#1-A lion should never smell another lion's butt. #2-There should be no blinking at another lion. #3-Do not approach another lion with a raised foot.
Martial Club had quality fights and a likeable cast. It just lacked that special spark to make it memorable. Any kung fu movie that could tame Johnny Wang might be too polite for the genre. Who knew making an exciting movie about martial arts manners could be so difficult?
3/15/23
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One sweet martial arts action fest!
If you enjoy martial arts action films and don’t mind a lackluster story---check your brain at the door and kick in your suspension of disbelief, make some popcorn and sit back and be prepared to be amazed by Jeeja Vanin in her first starring role.Chocolate's storyline uses the most dated of plots. A jealous crime boss doesn't like the woman he loves falling in love with someone else. The woman eventually sends her lover away to save him and has his child in secret. The child turns out to have autism and the woman runs up debts for her care and even more debts when the mom turns out to have cancer. The girl and a boy the mom adopted find her mom's old debt collection book and head out to try and collect the money from some shady characters. Fortunately, the girl has learned Muay Thai and other martials arts from watching tv and video games. I'm going to skip over the magical autism abilities discussion. The story setup is simply a reason for her to drop kick a wide assortment of baddies in ice houses, meat factories, and the Big Bad's headquarters. And punch and kick she does in the most creative ways you are likely to see. The fights started out fairly rudimentary and continued to crescendo until the bonkers, long finale fights that were as brutal as they were graceful.
The writing and acting were mediocre to poor. Just like in a Kaiju movie, when it takes the monster 30 minutes to show up, the only thing people really care about, this film took about that long to get the action rolling as well. The story was nearly irrelevant because the star of this show was Jeeja's astonishing ability to contort her body into a beat down machine, dodging objects, fists, and kicks while delivering punishing blows to men and women twice her size. I read that several actors were injured while making this film and it was not surprising when you see the hard slamming falls people took throughout the fighting. The fight choreography started out slow and breathlessly moved to astonishing.
If you are looking for stellar performances and an interesting, cohesive story, you are likely to be disappointed. However, if you enjoy exciting martial arts choreography, especially with a kickass female lead, this is definitely one to try out.
3/11/23
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Dorian's Hung Yi hunts down the scattered members of the Eight Dragon gang. Three years ago they had stolen a secret octagonal treasure map and divided it among the 8 gang members. Holy story convenience Batman! More than bringing in the bad guys he's trying to collect the pieces of the map and return it to the temple the gang stole it from. The pieces don't come easy with numerous fights along the way. Dorian faced harm from farm implements, deadly wheel barrows, swords, explosives, hidden weapon traps, chains, bamboo spears, ropes, leap frog kung fu and a giant. Along the way he meets the comely and dangerous Doris Lung, daughter of one of the gang members.
The story, while thin, stayed on track and remained somewhat comprehensible, something more than a few martial arts movies from this time can't boast. Like many movies filmed in Taiwan, this title is in desperate need of restoration. It was dark, faded and grainy. The fights were typical of the 70's, slow and jerky yet the actors made them entertaining. They did make use of wire work, but the majority of fighting was on the ground. Instead of kung fu, Dorian used taekwondo, with his extremely limber and strong legs. He could pop, pop, pop up the bad guys' bodies and then slap or kick them with his feet in their faces.
Dorian is not the most emotive actor but he's entertaining to watch. Lo Lieh showed up as a scarred bad guy and he always brings energy to his supporting roles. Wang Hsieh made his menacing appearance as a deadly member of the Dragon gang. Doris Lung was a nice love interest who could hold her own in a fight. Lung Fei, Tsai Hung, Chin Kang, and Lu Ti rounded out the main partial map carrying members of the gang. There was a nice variety of characters in the gang. A few were completely murderous and others had come to have regrets about the life they had lived.
Things I learned from this movie. #1 Never turn your back on your mortal enemy. #2 Never carry a pocketful of fragile explosives to a fight.
Shaolin Deadly Kicks won't go down as one of the great kung fu flicks from the 70's but for a bargain basement Hong Kong movie filmed in Taiwan it was entertaining enough even with a rather abrupt ending. Probably of most interest to Dorian Tan fans. As always, I grade these old martial arts movies on a curve.
3/11/23
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The Monkey King 1: Havoc In Heaven's Palace
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I have no idea whether the story was true to the book, I simply go by whether the movie was entertaining as told on the screen. When a crystal used to rebuild the heavenly realm falls from the sky and creates a special monkey baby, both heavenly and demon realms take note. The young monkey is taken to train with one of the heavenly masters. After finishing training with his sifu Subhuti/Puti where he is given the name Sun Wukong, his master tells him he must leave to learn positive thoughts and attain enlightenment. As he begins his adventures as the Handsome Monkey King on Huagoa, gaining his cudgel and uniform, The Monkey King brought about the three signs that led to the Bull Demon King once again attacking the heavenly realm. Manipulated by the evil horned one, Sun Wukong aids him in bringing about the disaster.
Donnie Yen so seamlessly blended into the makeup and furry suit that I honestly forgot it was him playing the role most of the time. It must have been freeing to perform such a playful role since most of his movies require him to be cold, stoic, and/or angry. He and his stunt double along with his choreography made for agile, creative fights whether on the ground or flying. Chow Yun Fat as the Jade Emperor could play this regal role in his sleep but he did bring a gentleness to his heavenly ruler. Aaron Kwok as the Bull Demon King had less to do, in general being menacingly seductive or menacingly destructive. Peter Ho could be counted on to sneer on cue as the duplicitous heavenly gate guard. Joe Chen as Princess Iron Fan was called on to mostly look dewy-eyed as she tried to steer her man away from a disastrous end.
The music fit perfectly even if it was standard epic fantasy fare. The costumes were well done and what you would expect from the immortal realms. The CGI varied in terms of its quality, but coming out of Hong Kong at this time I was impressed. The underwater realm, especially the giant octopus wasn't very convincing, but I've seen far worse, I watched Big Octopus (2020). The colors and movement could overwhelm the story at times, however, we are talking about a magic monkey and horned evil dude taking on a dragon, so I just rolled with it.
This movie isn't for everyone. It could be campy, okay, was campy more often than not, but that's something I don't usually have a problem with. There was a fairly simple storyline, even if some of the periphery stories were give short shrift, with lots of martial arts action and bright shiny objects. Yen, Kwok, and Chow all did a more than adequate job of conveying their characters. Out of the three films this rated pretty evenly with the second in the trilogy for me. Even if I knew where the story was going from the beginning, having watched other Monkey King movies, it didn't take away from my enjoyment. The road getting there was adventurous and charming enough to keep my interest.
3/9/23
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Ghosts, and zombies, and vampires, oh my!
Check your brain at the door and hope there's not a manic Taoist priest nearby. Kung Fu Zombie is so bad and so stupid it's almost good or at least funny. Billy Chong has to fight a ghost, hopping vampires, real life baddies, a possessed father, and a maniacal vampire in just around 80 minutes.Fong Fang is the rebellious son of a stern and overbearing father (Chiang Tao having a grand time) who pushes him hard every day in order to be able to fight the Long clan who has a vendetta against them. His words of wisdom when his son wants to take a break, "Meditation is time off." His idea of meditation for his son, is for the son to be tied up while sitting in a giant crock of water. Not father of the year material, but it does pay off when Fong not only has to fight one of the Longs, but also a Long that has turned into a kung fu blood sucking vampire due to a Taoist priest's incantation being disrupted. Cheng Kei Ying plays an inept baddie using the Taoist priest to try and control hopping vampires to kill Fong Jr. Just his luck he's the one who ends up not only dead but a ghost as well! He and the priest go corpse shopping at the local morgue to try and find a body he can be reanimated into. When Fong's dad dies of a heart attack, a body presents itself and the bad guy now wants to use Fong Sr to have revenge on the son. Fong Jr and the hapless priest have to team up to kill two dead guys.
This movie uses wire-fu, trampolines, reverse camera work, and super sped up camera work in a ridiculously fun way. I enjoy Billy Chong's fighting, but he is not a skilled actor even for the genre. To his credit he was young and pretty and never missed the chance to lose his shirt and show off his toned, oiled torso. Even the fights that weren't sped up were quick enough. This was my first time to see human yo-yo kung fu! And the movie also gave new meaning to the terms hot hand and hot foot.
Chong's selfish, childish, and arrogant character was unlikeable for the most part. Thankfully, he did more fighting than talking. The editing was super choppy, possibly due to 20 minutes being cut from the original film, but I'm fairly certain the editing would have been poor regardless. A 100-minute running time shoring up the story would not have helped because the frenetic non-stop action and gags were the only thing this film had going for it. The musical score was as scattered as the plot using a jaunty chase music one moment and shamelessly lifted portions from the James Bond theme the next. The sound department made full use of its zany sound effects to remind you at all times this was a comedy. There was a minimum of vampire gore and papier mache corpses. The most disturbing scene involved a puppy-dog lovers be forewarned.
I learned some valuable lessons from Kung Fu Zombie. #1-the dead can't enter a temple or walk past a picture of the Buddha or they are hit with red lasers. #2-the dead can't enter a jail for the law is the arm of god. #3-huge green leaf hats render the wearer invisible to the dead and practically so with the ladies. They just don’t teach you this stuff in school.
Kung Fu Zombie is everything you want in a cheap kung fu flick with this title. Only for fans of older kung fu movies who know how to set the bar low, like on the ground. For those who don't mind a little cheese to go along with their beefcake, it might be one to try. Remember to bring your leaf hat!
3/9/23
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"Swordsmanship means right-mindedness"
Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple continues the story of Miyamoto Musashi from the first film. Where a young Takezo/Musashi spent much of the time in the first one running around in the woods with angry villagers chasing him, this time he spends a lot of time evading ambushes by a school of samurais that are offended that this nameless swordsman can soundly beat any of them. He also has the two women who loved him from the first film hot on his trail. What's a swordsman to do?True to his word, Musashi wanders the countryside in order to hone his skills. He duels a man with a chain and scythe, defeating him easily. A monk watching the duel tells him he's too strong and that a man's strength is not forever. To become a true samurai he must learn chivalry as well. Musashi puts a pin in that and takes on the Yoshioka School demanding a duel with the young master of the house. The samurai in the school don't think their master is up to it and seek opportunities to ambush the unknown swordsman.
Meanwhile, the characters from the previous film have moved on. Otsu has gone back to the temple forlorn over Musashi choosing the sword over her. Akemi is working as an entertainer for men, with her mom pimping her out. Her mom, Oko, now married to Musashi's friend Matahachi is cheating on him and waiting for the chance to sell her daughter and ditch him. Akemi still pines for Musashi but is being courted hard by Sasaki, another gifted swordsman. And of course, Matahachi's mom is still crying out for Musashi's blood even after she literally bumps into her ne'er-do-well son. Just for good measure she adds Otsu onto her blood list.
Some battles are better than others as we aren't always shown the end of the fights, only the deadly outcomes. Many fights are at dawn or at night, filmed in the day to look like night which can make the action hard to see. The final battle shows Mifune's fiery fury as he battles 80 samurai, having to use strategy as well as his sword. He also learns much to the priest Takuan's delight when to beat a hasty retreat. Even after treachery and blood lust, the future noble fighter, writer, and artist learns compassion or at least chivalry. He also renounces women. With the crazy ones in his life, might not have been a bad idea.
Mifune Toshiro truly made this character come alive with a wide variety of emotions. His energy and charisma are hard to resist watching. Godzilla's Hirata had few scenes, but the terror in eyes facing Musashi was greater than when facing the Big G. Once again, the women were portrayed in typical 1950's sexist fashion. They were dangerously jealous, short-sighted, obsessive, liars, and emotionally unstable all around. Throw in murderous as well. And then there was Akemi's mother who sat idly by while her daughter was raped so that she could profit off her. Not a good apple in the whole feminine basket.
Though there weren't as many scenic outdoor scenes as the first film, there were still enough to satisfy most viewers. The indoor and outdoor sets varied as to how well they came across. Some were quite realistic and others might be found on a theater's stage.
Samurai II was a more compelling film than the first with more dire consequences and challenges for a majority of the characters. I look forwarding to watching the final installment to see how Musashi transforms on his walk to become a better swordsman and more mindful person. And whether in all the spiritual enlightenment he receives he learns how to take a woman's rejection better.
3/8/23
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"You're not known as a hard man for nothing!"
The Murder of Murders aka The Massive is not your typical revenge kung fu flick. It's a murder mystery where nearly everyone in town is hiding a secret and wants to find a fortune in stolen gems with a little kung fu thrown in for good measure.The Jade Dragonfly, a jewel thief, has been hitting all the major cities. When Lo Lieh comes rolling into town and wanting to buy some jewels at a high end shop it doesn't take a genius to know who the culprit is. He manages to get away with 6 precious stones but not before the town's inspector tells him everyone in the shop is a suspect and he'd better not leave town. If the thief isn't caught in five days, the inspector will resign. It seems like everyone in town is hunting for the stolen gem stones. Lo Lieh seems unbothered and has no problem dealing with the cops and baddies until he's poisoned and dies on the spot.
The Jade Dragonfly's brother, Chi Kuan Chun, shows up looking for his brother's killer and he has a plethora of people to choose from. The local gambling den boss, Yi Yuan, and his gang of thugs, including Phillip Ko Fei, Lei Ming, Lee Chiu, and Shih Ting Ken all have had motive and opportunity. Yueh Hua shows up as an art forger with a bad habit of serving suspicious tea. Miao Tien plays The Light in the Darkness, an assassin who uses a pole with a paper lantern to fight his opponents. Phillip Ko Fei uses a pipe with 490 poisoned tipped darts and Lei Ming has a poison dart fan. Chin Kang is the no nonsense straight arrow hard fisted Inspector. As a fan of Taiwanese kung fu movies, it's a grand slam of actors and stunt men to enjoy fighting as they scramble to be the one to obtain the stones. As one character says, "Never think a man has enough money because that's a lie." There are a couple of twists at the end of the movie that given the casting didn't seem too surprising but gave a little depth to the plot.
Lee Chiu was the martial arts director. Most of the fights were decently fast with a variety of weapons as stated before. The fight between Chi Kuan Chun and Yueh Hua was a stiff as Yueh's acting. The fights featuring Chi and either Phillip Ko Fei or Lee Chiu or Chin Kang were far more entertaining. A couple of fights were shot in the dark and with the aged film's fading were more difficult to see.
The Murder of Murders was a fun "who done it?" with plenty of villains and shady characters to choose from keeping the guessing going until the last minute. The fights were better than average 1970's caliber especially for low budget Taiwanese fare. As always, I grade on a curve for these old kung fu films.
3/6/23
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Dud in the Desert
Duel in the Desert is what you get when you mix a convoluted story, bad direction, poor martial arts choreography, and almost no Angela Mao---few duels and more duds.The story starts with everyone converging on the inn Angela's family runs to find a place to stay so that they can take part in a horse race with a 500 gold tael purse. And that's the end of that storyline. Pai Ying and Hsieh Han, along with Wan Chung Shan are looking to make money on a deal regarding 3 treasure chests full of Imperial jewels. Unfortunately for them so are a lot of other people. Theft, revenge, subterfuge, a murder case, betrayal, a secret letter (there's always a secret letter or book!), deals and double dealings, hidden identities, and undercover police officers are shuffled together in hopes of finding a story.
To make matters worse there were few fights and even those weren't very good. Most of them were of the grab, lock, pose kind. Don Wong and Ling Yun had a fight that moved faster and didn't seem as posed. In many of the other fights you could see how far people missed their hits and kicks. Angela is always a delight to watch but she only had a short fight at the one hour mark and in the final couple minutes of the movie. Even her kicks, fierce gaze, and snake kung fu couldn't save this film.
The version I watched was dubbed which might have been fortunate. The film was faded and badly cropped, subtitles would have been hard to read and run off the screen. People's faces were almost completely cut out of some scenes due to the cropping.
If there had been some good fights and more Angela it might have made up for the ridiculous story and all the people running around trying to either steal the jewels or save the jewels. Either way, this is a film only for lovers of 70's Taiwanese kung fu movies and Angela Mao and even then it might require a great deal of patience on the viewer's part.
3/1/23
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"It's like when you look for something all over the place & then find it right in front of you."
In Early Summer a family faces a time of transition and growth as the twenty-eight-year-old daughter's unmarried status seems to reach a crisis point with everyone wanting her married off, even her boss plays matchmaker! This poor "old maid" seems quite happy enough working, hanging out with her friends, and helping her family, but society norms being what they were, she understands her time of being single is fast running out.Ozu slowly takes his time setting up the characters and family dynamics in his usual aesthetic manner. The plot is not complex but the relationships are. Noriko is the "old maid" and seems fairly nonplussed when her boss tries to match her with an older friend of his. Her authoritarian brother, Koichi, jumps at the chance for her to be married to a wealthy older man. Noriko's mother and sister-in-law express their doubts about the match when they hear the man is forty. Koichi shuts them down saying that at Noriko's age, beggars can't be choosers.
When Koichi's two young sons run away after an argument with their father and can't be found, Noriko goes to a neighbor whose widowed son and small daughter live with her. The son, Kenkichi, goes with Noriko to help her find the boys off-screen. Kenkichi is a doctor and is later offered a promotion from his boss, Koichi, at a provincial hospital. Noriko takes a farewell gift to his house and before she leaves, she and Kenkichi's mother have arranged for her and Kenkichi to be married without his or her parents' knowledge or permission! How terribly forward and untraditional! Kenkichi is delighted, her parents not so much. "She acts like she grew up all by herself." Even though the family knows and respects Kenkichi, he's not wealthy and worst of all, he already has a child. Noriko loves the little girl and can't understand what the problem is.
The father goes to the store and has to wait for a train to pass by. Just like his teapot, trains play a big part in most of Ozu's films. Subconsciously, we know that trains are either taking people to somewhere or away from somewhere. Here the movement within the family is spurred by Noriko making a decision for herself, she's not only moving physically away from her family, but also away from the family's sphere of influence. The father realizes his family is transforming and that the train will soon be taking his daughter away as much as he would love for his family to stay together.
Always hesitant to show much romance, Ozu finally lets Noriko give voice to why she made what looked like a rash decision.
She admits her long standing feelings for Kenkichi. He's someone she trusts and knows she will be happy with. Her best friend reveals to Noriko that what she's talking about is love. Noriko doesn't always come across as the sharpest knife in the drawer with her perma-smile and sunny disposition, but even she knew that marrying a man who had been resolutely a bachelor until forty might make for a difficult relationship no matter how much money he had. Better to clip coupons and work on a blended family as a stepmother with someone she cares for than to be on unequal footing with an older stranger.
"It's like when you look for something all over the place, and you find it was right in front of you all along."
The acting in this film was uneven for me. It was interesting seeing Ozu regular Ryu as the older brother with jet black hair. Two years after this film, he would play an elderly father role with the actress who played the mother in this film in Tokyo Story. In Tokyo Twilight he played Hara's father! I have a love-hate relationship with Hara Setsuko. When she's given the chance to show a range of emotions, I find her compelling. I have a more difficult time when no matter what happens on screen, whether she's been offered congratulations or told she has six months to live she responds with the same smiling face. It can feel like a mask hiding the character's true emotions and I would like to see the depth of the character played out more.
Single, childless Ozu has more than once had two young brothers in his films, Good Morning and I Was Born…But, come to mind. In the films I've seen thus far, and also in this one, the boys are very disrespectful, selfish, and throw fits on a regular basis. Maybe it's because the kids always seem cooped up in the house like the caged birds in this film that they go stir crazy. More than likely, it's how someone who is childless sees children, but I find the children in his films can cross the line from delightfully realistic to incredibly annoying. There was a some of both in this film.
Unlike some of Ozu's older films where tradition must be maintained in the family and with fear of modern influences damaging the familial structure, Noriko is not punished for making her own decision regarding her future. No train runs her down nor is there a disaster to her reputation. I found this different direction with more sympathy toward the young people by the director a breath of fresh air.
Just like the sunny, carefree days of summer seem as if they will last forever, we know fall is around the corner. It doesn't mean the end of the world but it is a time of transition, even as Noriko's family had to accept that change is inevitable. Life is always in flux and families have to be flexible. Much like the family portrait taken in the film with the parents and their children and grandchildren, the last photo is only of the parents. In time, most parents will see their children move out to make lives of their own and be left by themselves with a much quieter house.
After Noriko is wed, again off-screen, and her brother and his family have moved due to his job, her parents talk about their lives. The father laments, "I wish we could live together forever, but that's impossible." On reflection they realize that they have lived a good life and raised their children well. They have earned their, if not happy, at least pleasant and contented ending.
2/23/23
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Despite Michelle Yeoh's best efforts, this stunt fell flat
The Stunt Woman starring Michelle Yeoh started out strong giving the audience a behind the scenes look at the grueling and dangerous life of stunt women and men. Then it lost its way and stumbled down a confusing path that not even the graceful Yeoh could save it from.Michelle played Ah Kam, a stunt woman who through determination finds a job working for Master Tung's (Sammo Hung) stunt company. She quickly becomes one of the stunt family after showing her fearlessness and skill. Paco Yick and Mang Hoi, real life stuntmen and stunt directors, were part of Tung's crew. The film touched on the Triads who were involved with movie making during this time. If the film had stayed focused on the nomadic and precarious life of the stuntmen in Hong Kong, especially before CGI and improved safety conditions, this could have been a fascinating story. Instead, Ah Kam falls in love and becomes a manager of her lover's Karaoke bar. When this falls apart she heads back to her true love, working in the movies. Tragedy awaits her and the crew. The next thing you know she's playing surrogate mother to Tung's wild child son.
Perhaps parts of the story had to be re-written after Michelle suffered a calamitous fall, injuring her back. They actually showed footage of her jump from a bridge onto a truck and her having to be tenderly carried off afterwards, which paramedics should probably have been doing. Or maybe director Ann Hui was trying to show three different traditional eras in a woman's life-singlehood, being a couple, being a mom. Whatever the motivation, the story was all over the place in the second and third acts. A major death happened practically off screen, losing much of the emotional impact. Some story elements were vague at best, others were simply dropped.
Michelle Yeoh did her best with what they gave her as did Sammo Hung. They had a nice professional chemistry together. It was fun to see numerous stuntmen have the chance to show their skills as real characters. Kent Cheng and Richard Ng made guest appearances rounding out the cast nicely. The only drawback in the acting department was the child character. Ah Long was a thoroughly unlikeable kid who only partially redeemed himself.
There were a few fight scenes, but much like some of the stunts, they were filmed from a distance or too close, making the action blurry. With Yeoh and the stunt crew, it seemed as if there should have been much better, clearer shots for us to enjoy.
The movie started out strong and ended with a whimper, a terrible waste of kung fu legendary talent. The film did cause Michelle Yeoh to reconsider some of her movie choices which led to a James Bond film and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which helped to cement her status internationally. So in the end, this uneven film was useful after all.
2/21/23
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