Xiang83

My comment-analysis to MimiLy and my reply to blabla100 above will each give you answers in terms of what you might not have considered or been aware of. I have just replied to them. And then if you want an analysis of anything else (or if you want me to explain anything I said in my comment-analysis to MimiLy or my reply to blabla100), let me know.

I made one more comment-analysis to the poster MimiLy just below your comment, which you might enjoy because of the character analysis I have included about Xiao Yao (and psychology comes in, because some psychology knowledge is necessary to actually view Tong Hua's novel accurately). Tushan Jing is in it, but the analysis is not what many would expect. I believe I gave Tushan Jing a fair evaluation. If you see my reply to blabla100 above, the comment-analysis expands on that plus the initial post.

The crystal ball segment could have included a flashback instead. Xiao Yao sits there looking at the finished ball before sending it, and the flashback could start with 2 maids walking past and giggling about Cang Xuan being handsome, after seeing his coronation the day before (this provides a timeframe reference). They don't notice Xiao Yao leaving, and the rest of the flashback quickly reveals snapshots in a sequence akin to gathering the ice worm, who she sought to help create it, etc. That short sequence would have been more effective than the drama's method of showing the making of the crystal ball, but it's also a question of whether the audience would understand this sequence of what is shown.

Frankly, Season 2 should be at least 28 episodes. But this second part is darker and more painful. How much angst and pain can the audience take? When transcribing a novel into a drama, some aspects that require more literary merit will be lost. I would probably have to rewatch the 10 episodes of Season 2 to give more input on this. It is a darker colder path that Xiao Yao is going on, because Xiang Liu will have to be a lot more cruel to her. Cang Xuan's non-platonic obsession is barely under control.

I do not understand your comment claiming I am biased. Can you explain to me why you agree or disagree with what I said to the poster blabla100 just above, on the same day that I posted my analysis for the question of who is Xiao Yao’s soulmate? In that second comment to blabla100 which you missed, I said Xiao Yao was never an equal for any of the 3 males, and with the death of Xiang Liu, she can finally be worthy of love with Tushan Jing. I also said Xiao Yao is a strong person with certain weaknesses, and she cannot be faulted for her mistakes. I also said Xiang Liu did not analyse Tushan Jing wrongly. I have also said all 3 males played an important part in Xiao Yao’s life. Can you explain how I reach these conclusions? What is your problem?

We read the same novel, but I never explained my main reference points, and you never asked. You are a Tushan Jing fan and I am not, but I do a much better job of defending Tushan Jing than you, because you lack the life experience, knowledge and professionalism for coherent character evaluation.

Let’s start with the novel. The novel provides the basis for the drama, which can take some liberties but should not veer off by much. Many of you severely underestimate Xiao Yao’s emotional trauma and its impact on her, and talk about healing without understanding psychology. TH’s novel is a story about a very emotionally-damaged young girl who went through a lot of trauma in the process of surviving to become a young woman and after regaining her place as a princess, must spend the rest of the entire novel learning how to become emotionally healthy and stable again, by relearning how to have healthy relationships and understand what it means to live and not just exist in the world. She is completely unsuitable for any marriage if the man wants an equal, until the end of the novel. Along the way, this novel includes 3 males of very-different backgrounds. The 4 main characters would be great to get on a couch for psychiatric evaluation, because it would be widely interesting. And frankly, Tushan Jing and Xiang Liu would have been a couple I want to see for what they could help each other achieve in goals and mischief, but they are both heterosexual. And no, I’m not a BL fan.

Throw in solid world-building and other adventures along the way, and Tong Hua wrote a very engaging novel. Offline or online, I am not fond of people who choose romantic love as a main priority or the main priority in their lives (unless it is their main occupation that they make a living with). Such people are usually self-centred, emotionally childish, a lot less intelligent and fair than they think they are, can’t evaluate situations or people accurately because they only use themselves as the main reference point and are poor at seeing vastly different viewpoints, and usually fail to prioritise the well-being of other people, especially children and those with special needs.

I use honour and consistency in values as the main measurements, not romantic love. When I referenced Ah Bi speaking of Xiang Liu’s heart being pure and not being swayed by power, glory or other external influences, the novel simply confirmed for me that Xiang Liu will honour his promises, and first foremost that he will value fairness and honour above all, and die with his men as a general and not abandon them, as part of what he owes Gong Gong. His love being pure for Xiao Yao is a secondary detail after that main detail. I expect Xiang Liu to die with his men, as a general of an army whose history and days are numbered. I expect Cang Xuan to prioritise peace in the world as an emperor. I expect Tushan Jing not to abandon his clan as clan leader, unless he has honoured his obligations and put in place everything necessary to ensure his departure from the clan will not affect the wellbeing of the clan. That is why I don't see what he did as bad. Only when these characters behave with the personal honour that they should demonstrate in primary responsibilities, for holding the positions that they do, then I will ascribe fondness to all 3 male characters.

Fondness for these 3 male characters does not mean I overlook their flaws. None of them are shrinks, and none of them have a background in psychology or psychiatry. Even if Tushan Jing and Cang Xuan saw Xiao Yao regress mentally and emotionally to the complete equivalent of a 4-year-old when she mistook a certain consort for her mother (the novel equivalent is found in Season 1 episode 15 of the drama), did they truly understand the full extent of her trauma? I am certain many viewers would not grasp the magnitude.

I said Yang Zi’s acting was spot-on, because the extent of emotional damage Xiao Yao is displaying means she will take a minimum of 20 to 30 years to come to terms with the abandonment issues created by her mother and her “father”, if she does. Throw in the horrors she went through with the demon fox, and Xiao Yao will need at least another 30 years on top of that. Some people never come to terms with deep-seated psychological traumas even when dying in old age, so it is a good thing our heroine has a divine being’s lifespan much longer than a human. I was thinking Xiao Yao would need at least 100 years after not being Wen Xiaoliu to truly become emotionally healthy again, but it depends on what happens during the first 60 years.

Xiao Yao needs to learn how to be a true reliable friend, needs to learn how a human in a community and especially in a position of authority cannot just prioritise themselves but must weigh up others, and needs to learn to communicate consistently in important relationships in a healthy frank manner. Humans are more aware of the changes of time, due to a limited lifespan. Non-humans tend not to realise that due to not having to be concerned with the perils of mortality, and as a result, can end up perpetuating certain poor behaviours longer than is healthy.

As Wen Xiaoliu the commoner wanting a quiet peaceful life of solitude while being a doctor, these are not major issues. But if she is going to return to being Xiao Yao the Great Haoling princess as an adult and not a child, she needs to be Xiao Yao which includes Wen Xiaoliu as an essential part of her life that she does not keep trying to return to and burying herself in, so she can relearn what it means, to live. Chapter 33 of the novel gives one a very good gauge of how far Xiao Yao has progressed. At that point, Xiao Yao’s conversation with Tushan Jing reads like Tushan Jing trying to reason and placate a woman with the emotional maturity and reasonability of a 12-year-old.

At this point, Xiao Yao definitely values Tushan Jing as a good friend whom she has romantic inclinations towards, but her very bad habits borne of her traumas keep getting in the way, and it is obvious because her reasoning yo-yos as much as her sentiments. One moment, she chastises Tushan Jing for not letting her marry Chishui Fenglong so she can act as if everything is fine and move forward (I’ll let you figure out all the issues with this detail).

In another moment, Xiao Yao is frankly and correctly confessing to Tushan Jing about where she went wrong in her lack of actions and words towards Tushan Jing, despite analysing and guessing what Fangfeng Yi Yang is like and trying to do. This chapter reminds me that Xiao Yao is still emotionally an adolescent and is not a woman you can have a healthy long-term relationship with, until she at least reaches the emotional maturity and stability of a twenty-year-old. This chapter had me thinking Xiang Liu is going to have to work a miracle, if he is going to help heal and get Xiao Yao to understand the importance of living by the time he dies. And he will have to be very cruel to Xiao Yao so she completely misunderstands him, otherwise he cannot get Xiao Yao to move in the direction that he wants her to understand: To want to live.

If you look critically at that conversation in Chapter 33, it is not Tushan Jing who looks bad. It is Xiao Yao who looks bad, but I once said she cannot be faulted. Why? Because she has made massive improvements in her emotional maturity and health. She has frankly confessed to her mistakes and her actions being lacking, to Tushan Jing. She confessed to watching coldly, allowing Tushan Jing to make mistakes and fall into traps. She spoke of guilt, of not being able to sleep. And Tushan Jing did not hold all this against her.

If you interact with enough people and/or are in a job/position which allows you to listen to other people’s more-private details, you will know people have many sleepless nights for many reasons. A child’s health, guilt over mistakes, guilty conscience, a spouse’s adultery, money issues, concerns for siblings or parents, etc. Sleepless nights due to romantic reasons is not always a main reason for many sleepless nights, unless we’re talking about the sentiments of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet (which is a story about intense teenage infatuation and why one’s first heavy romance due to a mixture of factors and circumstances should not be mistaken as the be-all and end-all of healthy mature lasting love).

I was pleased to read that Xiao Yao felt guilty and had sleepless nights when thinking about Fangfang Yi Yang and Tushan Jing, because Xiao Yao also has not behaved towards Tushan Jing in the way that a good friend should. I believe having a healthy friendship is an essential foundational component of love, especially if one wants love to last. Growing up means developing a conscience which works well. Burying oneself is the opposite of being emotionally healthy.

In that same chapter, Tushan Jing spoke about his older brother. His mother forced his older brother to marry his sister-in-law, who eventually died. His grandmother’s reaction was to give his older brother many concubines. These women prioritise the clan first and foremost, as they should. From a modern perspective of valuing monogamy, I would not agree with what these women are doing but what is their perspective? The clan’s wellbeing and continuity is most important. Is Tushan Jing and/or his brother behaving as a shrewd bold assertive leader of the Tushan clan who understands external threats to the clan and the need to strengthen their position as much as possible in the world and not just maintain, which inspires confidence in the more-senior clan members about them, or not? Why did Tushan Jing’s grandmother agree to work with Fangfeng Yi Yang and cast a certain spell on Tushan Jing, so he would mistake Fangfeng Yi Yang for Xiao Yao? Then the actions of these women become a lot more understandable. That is why I said in my analysis that if the clan elders are not on your side and if you make any promises, good luck.

I stated that Cang Xuan is not as selfless as Xiang Liu, when it comes to love for Xiao Yao. That said, Cang Xuan is already making a gigantic sacrifice for Xiao Yao to want to create and maintain peace in the world to gain power and protect her, and that is noteworthy. However, Xiao Yao always being around him yet out of his reach is enough to drive a man nuts. Chapter 33 also confirms what I said about Cang Xuan’s love for Xiao Yao being less selfless than Xiang Liu, because Cang Xuan’s answer to Xiao Yao never getting married: She can always stay with him, and he can take care of her forever. Then he makes that tremendous mistake of trying to kill Tushan Jing, whom he knows by then is very important to Xiao Yao. And when Xiao Yao is lying in that seashell after her suicide attempt, he would rather let her sleep.

At least Chishui Fenglong behaved liked a brother should. He frankly told his sister why he is advising her as her brother as to the reasons of why she should not marry Cang Xuan and if she does, what to expect in a marriage with Cang Xuan. You don't tell someone what they want to hear all the time, if you truly respect them. Tushan Jing has this problem with not telling Xiao Yao what she needs to know in the manner that she needs but then again, when he's the unfortunate one who has to weather her emotional growing-up pains the most (of all the 3 males) including her swings in reasoning and emotions, at least he knows how to handle a child and adolescent. That is still better than Xiang Liu, who has the unfortunate task of shouldering the consequences of Xiao Yao's worst mistakes borne of her traumas and knows he cannot be thanked for anything, if he wants her to be able to break out of her emotional coffin and walk forward without pretending.

This unique extent of being so emotionally crippled in certain aspects also means Xiao Yao can be in love with one man, and be infatuated with another man, both at the same time. It does not mean Xiao Yao has no empathy or cannot be an adult. She has empathy, and she tries to help others, and she can analyse scenarios provided it doesn't involve complex character interpretation. Such emotional crippling means Xiao Yao has massive cognitive dissonance, when it comes to anything related to relationships that are significant, especially when there are non-platonic tones. People can lie to themselves all the time on some issues for many years, until they cannot lie anymore because reality punches them in the face. Xiang Liu’s death was the final punch and fortification to help break through Xiao Yao’s emotional coffin. If she dies, she will never again see or enjoy the beauty and variety of what Xiang Liu gave her: A world of wealth in experiences, and unknown oceans to explore. She can be ungrateful if she wants, but it would be better if she chose to live.

What does Xiao Yao do, when she thinks Cang Xuan has killed Tushan Jing? Xiao Yao tries to kill herself. And at one point, Xiao Yao wanted to become the Royal Mother, for all the wrong reasons. She needs to choose to do things for the right reasons and find her purpose, instead of always swinging towards burying herself and emulating Shakespeare's Juliet way too much. But that’s tempestuous tiresome teenagehood and moping for you. Playing little games to make someone else jealous is not a commendable trait, and doing that usually signifies pettiness or immaturity or both. If you want to make someone jealous, at least be sophisticated about it.

Xiao Yao finally behaves like a teenager emotionally around Jing, and the good thing is that she grows to that stage because of what each of the 3 men put her through (good and bad). The danger is that she might actually die permanently before getting past that perilous phase just before young adulthood, but Xiang Liu prevents it from happening. The blood magic-covered seashell and the Lovers Bugs (a pair of bugs more legendary than the usual bugs because of the bond between life and love) helped to keep her alive because of him. If Xiao Yao loved Jing as a soulmate, the bugs would have turned into Heartbreak Bugs by the time she tried to poison herself and and Cang Xuan. Xiang Liu would have no choice but to rush over to knock out both Xiao Yao and Cang Xuan, take her away and kill both bugs in a hurry because he only has one heart. And given what he owes Gong Gong, Xiang Liu isn't going to die because of her.

One more thing I will add: I have lost at least 2 people dear to me. Even without them telling me, I would have said very similar things. I know you will be upset and mourn for me, but I do not want you to grieve until you bury yourself. Cry, and live. Grieve, and live. Experience every day which is new to you. And create, so you can give to others what they give back. The waves of pain and heartache will be gigantic at first, and you will feel like drowning. They will come unexpectedly, and overwhelm you at the beginning. But with each wave, as you bob up and down, on some days although you might think there is no shore, look to the sky above you. The stars are always beautiful. The sun will always rise. And remember that in every day you live, to know that you live well will make me happy.

Chapter 51 has me happy for Xiao Yao, because she is finally learning to grieve in a healthy manner. After a night, she takes action. She embraces her past and shares it in the present, with Jing and others. Some might say she is running away. But she wants to find an island in the sea. She wants to explore. And she'll do it, while being frank with Jing, who will patiently guide her. She will finally become his emotional equal. This is as healthy as you'll get, from her in her circumstances. That's better than what she gave Xiang Liu. By the way, as someone who was a lot less nice to her than Tushan Jing, why does Xiao Yao gravitate towards Xiang Liu with a frankness that she does not give Tushan Jing, for most of the novel?

I can say all this, as someone who understands what it means to hold a position of authority, who understands the importance of emotional health and mental health in a responsible professional capacity, and as someone whom people turn to for guidance and problem-solving, personally and professionally. Especially elders of the very same Chinese culture that you obviously have zero understanding in, because elders do not turn easily to someone younger on certain issues. Xiang in my username on this website is not because of Xiang Liu. And I am privileged, to be able to speak more than 3 languages and have to deal with multiple cultures every day. that comes with the privilege of having mixed heritage.

Your entire comment actually cemented certain things for me, in terms of my analysis. When you grow up and with more life experience, you'll understand some things in time. And then perhaps you'll be able to make more mature comments when starting conversations, instead of starting with a presumed assumption that what you believe is right while sounding petulantly childish about it.

I don't understand the fan wars. To me, all 3 men played very important roles in Xiao Yao's life. And sometimes, the best things are left to imagination :)

Love has many definitions. But the most lasting reliable love is Builder's love. Choosing to build, to realise, to maintain, to rework where necessary through good and bad, and to cherish. It is also the most emotionally mature love. And it takes time with practise.

You're welcome. I will say frankly if someone does not understand the mandarin plus the culture, whatever interpretations given will be lacking even after reading the novel and watching the drama.

The other thing is that Cang Xuan, Tushan Jing and Xiang Liu are not free to choose only for themselves. Each of them is bound to very heavy responsibilities and people relying on them, and unless they can give those up, they are not free to choose for themselves solely and wrong choices all have consequences for the people they need to consider. The pressure is horrible. Cang Xuan's is the worst. Tushan Jing's evaluative abilities did not arise only because he was born to a high position. He went through a lot of trauma himself. Each of the three men were deprived of emotional support and an equal, for much of their lives. When you have an equal (not a parental figure) who can freely tell you what you need to know, whose judgment is sound, and helps you grow emotionally, that is akin to gaining a whole world.

Xiao Yao, unkind as it sounds, was never an equal for any of them. If I lived in that world, I would not find Xiao Yao attractive because of her issues, which I would not fault her for because nobody can heal her, only time and life. Only after Xiang Liu dies, can she finally reach solid ground emotionally. And then she can finally be an equal for Tushan Jing.

I have only browsed a few discussions. But what I find lacking is the evaluation of each character as a person and their past. If anything, they each have my sympathy right from the start. And ultimately, as a person, who would not want the best for each of them? What is defined as best depends on the viewer.

The drama actually answers certain questions from the books. I have read the necessary and also watched until Season 2 episode 10 of the drama. Whether Xiao Yao loves Tushan Jing or Xiang Liu is not the question, but who Xiao Yao loves as her soulmate. Cang Xuan is brother-zoned, which leaves Tushan Jing and Xiang Liu.

There are 2 incidents in the books which is shown in the drama, and gives the answer. Xiao Yao was close to waking up in her own body in the clamshell (after episode 31 in Season 1 of the drama), when Xiang Liu told her Tushan Jing was dying. In the drama, Xiao Yao's reaction is not the reaction of a woman in love. She is not heart-broken or anguished upon hearing Tushan Jing's condition of dying. She is focused wholly on Xiang Liu, and does not want him to hate her. When Xiao Yao wakes up and Xiang Liu is not present, her focus is to find him. When Furball turns up, she asks about Xiang Liu. And before she leaves on Furball, she sheds tears.

At that point, the drama is helping the audience confirm in the book that Xiao Yao is not in love with Tushan Jing, because this is how the director with the help of the author herself has wanted for these scenes. Xiao Yao is touched by what Tushan Jing has done for her and wants to be in love with Tushan Jing because that is what her rational mind tells her, but she is not in love with Tushan Jing. Xiao Yao loves Xiang Liu, because the Lovers' bugs are still safely growing inside each of them. If she was in love with Tushan Jing or his life as Ye Shiqi, Xiang Liu would have felt it. The Lovers' Bugs turning into Heartbreak Bugs would kill them both.

The second incident is in Season 2, episode 6. In the book, Xiang Liu is questioning Xiao Yao while using his abilities on her. Bear in mind that they have the bugs inside each other. Xiao Yao sent a very special crystal ball to Xiang Liu, before Fangfang Bei barged into the wedding to take her away from ChiShui Fenglong. Chapter 31 describes the efforts and time Xiao Yao spent, to gather rare materials around the world for this crystal ball that was completed 4 years ago and buried, then retrieved and was sent to Xiang Liu because Xiao Yao considered it necessary at last. The drama attempts to compensate for being unable to cover the importance of these details such as the very rare ice worm thousands of years old, by having 2 warrior specialists of different elements help Xiao Yao to finish this ball. The efforts spent by Xiang Liu to gather rare materials to have the most exquisite deadly bow was reciprocated by Xiao Yao, in this ball. You have to read this chapter, to understand what the drama could not include. Xiao Yao has never done this for anybody else. Xiang Liu, upon seeing the rare materials used for this ball and the mermaid symbolism just before her wedding to ChiShui Fenglong, understood the amount of time needed to have created this and what she is requesting.

Hence Xiang Liu has an accurate gauge and context to measure Xiao Yao's answers. In the drama episode, when Xiao Yao is asked whether whether she wants to marry Tushan Jing: She does not answer. When asked if she wants to marry Ye Shiqi, she says yes. Xiang Liu could have given up asking at that point. He does not. Why? Because the Lovers' Bugs are not giving him pain. This means Xiao Yao is giving answers that do not trigger love, hence telling Xiang Liu that he is not asking the right questions. If Xiao Yao can say yes to marrying Ye Shiqi yet not be in love with Ye Shiqi, it means marriage to Xiao Yao is not what she defines as a criteria for love. Xiang Liu knows Xiao Yao was willing to marry Chishui Fenglong without loving him. We know marriage is not used as a definition of love by Xiao Yao.

On top of that, her answers are telling Xiang Liu that Xiao Yao can differentiate between the importance of Ye Shiqi and Tushan Jing to Xiao Yao, as Xiao Yao and as Wen Xiaoliu. Knowing all this would make anyone emotional, especially a demon who thinks he will never be loved. And that is where Tan Jianci acts it out rather wonderfully: When Xiang Liu asks who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. He does not make a differentiation in this question. He simply asks her who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. What Xiang Liu wants to know is who Wen Xiaoliu and Xiao Yao, as an entire person and wholeheartedly, wants as a life companion and soulmate.

This is when Xiao Yao gets a headache. Her reactions, in what she does not say and how the bugs inside their hearts react, is the answer. The fact that she refuses to answer is because she does not want to answer and cannot answer. It would require her to look clearly at what her heart knows, and acknowledge it. You cannot answer, when you don't have an answer. As someone with severe abandonment issues from all the traumas she went through, her conscious desire to choose Tushan Jing is understandable. Xiao Yao should not be faulted for wanting this. Tushan Jing is also understandable as a character.

However, unlike Tushan Jing giving conditions to Xiao Yao such as the 15-year request, Xiang Liu has never put any conditions on Xiao Yao to stay with him or be his friend. He did not know what she really looked like or that she was Xiao Yao when they met, yet he was willing to put a bug inside his heart for the nobody Wen Xiaoliu, despite knowing the risks. In terms of love, his decisions consistently portray the extent of his love, whereby ultimate possession of Xiao Yao is what he consistently chooses to reject.

Cang Xuan and Tushan Jing want Xiao Yao, but they do not put first and foremost what would make her happy and safe and strong. They don't have to sacrifice their lives for this, but it is not flattering for them that the one person who has the least access to Xiao Yao behaves most like her mentor and best cheerleader. Xiang Liu wants her to be strong, because he recognises where she is weak. She is determined, but she is weak where she needs to be strong as a princess in her position. And it is because of his desire to strengthen her as a person, that Xiao Yao can also help Cang Xuan.

Seriously, look at what Cang Xuan and Tushan Jing have encouraged in Xiao Yao. Do they actually help her deal with any of her issues? Do they see her clearly enough for who she is in the present, other than what they remember of her or think she should be? Tushan Jing and Cang Xuan saw her reaction to Consort Jing (Season 1, episode 15), and the way she completely regressed when bawling about her mother. Xiang Liu did not even have that insight, but what did he do for her?

Xiao Yao is subconsciously touched by all this. Her heart has chosen. But she wants to use her mind to decide her future, and she has a very stubborn strong mind. Xiang Liu knows Xiao Yao loves him and not Tushan Jing, so he has to keep pushing her towards Tushan Jing because there is no future for Xiang Liu with her, and Xiang Liu knows all this. Xiao Yao's refusal to confess what Xiang Liu knows to Xiang Liu is a rejection of him. Xiang Liu knows his cause is ultimately a lost cause, but he prolongs it as much as possible. He also knows how to appreciate what enjoyments he can find along the way. In his darkest personal moments- The novel and dramas do not show this. But in the drama, Xiao Yao's "father" once said (after Ah Nian throws a tantrum and storms out saying she does not want a sister, when told Xiao Yao is Xiaoliu ) that given what happens in a country every day, if he lost his appetite he would have starved to death long ago. Xiang Liu is most likely as practical as this emperor, or he would lost his troops long ago. And if Xiang Liu didn't know the honouring of his promise to a certain general was a lost cause, why would he ask Cang Xuan for part of a certain mountain in exchange for reviving Xiao Yao?

In the drama of Season 2 episode 6, Xiao Yao is crying over the death of Fangfang Bei while clutching the bow. That bow required Xiang Liu's blood to recognise an owner. It would have been interesting, because Xiang Liu most likely would have felt her pain (loving Fangfang Bei is an indirect diluted love confession for part of Xiang Liu, not all of Xiang Liu). Losing Fangfang Bei teaches Xiao Yao a very important lesson. In the novel (not yet happened in the drama), when Xiang Liu has saved Xiao Yao from being sucked into a whirlpool and is badly wounded and wants to leave, Xiao Yao refuses to let him leave. She is afraid he will die. She uses her entire body to try to catch and keep him. She is willing to let him drain her blood dry and risk death, as long as she can ensure he will not die and leave her.

Unlike her unconscious breakdown of clawing for Consort Jing when mistaking the lady for her deceased mother, in this case Xiao Yao is finally consciously choosing to sacrifice whatever it takes to keep him and not lose him, when she thinks he might die. Decorum and propriety is tossed out, without a thought. Read the novel on this chapter (preferably in mandarin), so you can catch all the nuances of this scenario.

There are multiple instances in the novel where Xiao Yao has expressed an idea that she wants to stay like this or live like this forever, when with Xiang Liu. She even managed to sleep well in his presence, where she previously had sleeplessness for many nights. In the novel, Ah Bi is the winged fox-demon who acknowledges Xiang Liu's heart is so clear that he cannot be swayed by money, glory or power. We know from that, about Xiang Liu's love for Xiao Yao being noble and pure. Xiao Yao buries everything psychologically as demonstrated for most of the books, but when she hears of Xiang Liu's death, her reaction is no longer buried. She pushes out to create her reality. She wants to live on an island in the sea. Even at the end of the novel, she wants to continue living in a world she knows with Xiang Liu, even if she can no longer share it with Xiang Liu because he is dead. Tushan Jing has given up everything to become Ye Shiqi in status and future, so Xiao Yao will share that world with him. It would be interesting to know at this point to what extent is Xiao Yao with Tushan Jing as Tushan Jing, and to what extent as Wen Xiaoliu wanting to keep Tushan Jing as Ye Shiqi.

I do not see Xiao Yao as selfish. Xiao Yao was deprived for so many years of proper guidance from a mother or mature female. She didn't even know if she was pretty or ugly. She had to fumble and grow. At the end of the books, she is finally becoming emotionally mature and stable. Xiang Liu's death forced her to start doing so and look at herself, instead of always looking to someone else. And in doing so, she finally acknowledges the importance of what Xiang Liu shared with her. Tushan Jing also acknowledged Xiang Liu's importance, when he told Xiao Yao he was not a jealous husband and Xiang Liu has saved her many times.

The most important detail is Xiao Yao choosing consciously to live in the world she knows with Xiang Liu. Where she once consciously chose to verbally reject everything of Xiang Liu (wanting Fangfang Bei is also an indirect rejection of Xiang Liu) despite emotionally wanting him and spending the most time devoted to Xiang Liu, she has chosen to embrace their past for the present and immerse herself in that world she knows with Xiang Liu, so she does not lose what is left of their shared history. Sharing is a generous act. She is sharing her past with her present, wanting to live with both. This gives hope that she can heal further from her abandonment issues and consciously choose to finally give real love to Tushan Jing. Wait, it does not make sense, right?

For almost the entire novel. Xiao Yao is not emotionally healthy, and faulting her for being weak is to miss the fact that she is admirable for wanting to soldier on, to do the best that she knows despite how emotionally crippled she was. Being in survival mode while lacking necessary advisors for many years will do that to you. Her emotional health and growth was stunted for many years, which makes Xiao Yao weak in some aspects but not a weak person. Yang Zi gave a spot-on performance in Season 1 episode 15, whereby her entire breakdown tells us how deeply-buried her fears and pain are. Everything she went through with the demon fox and the loss of her mother also colours many of her choices. (Frankly, I could not stand Yang Zi in "Ashes of Love" because her acting seemed like only 2 expressions to me. Yang Zi's acting in this drama has been laudable, and her acting chops at this level was necessary to create the chemistry between the 3 males, or she would be overshadowed by Tan Jianci and Zhang Wan Yi.)

The emotional coffin she buried herself in is significantly fractured, by the time we get to chapter 49. And in chapter 50, after being forced to face Xiang Liu's death, Xiao Yao is more verbally honest with Tushan Jing about herself. Tushan Jing has all the time in the world of what is left of his lifespan, to enable Xiao Yao to truly fall in love with him. Time will not close the hole in Xiao Yao's heart for Xiang Liu, but time can help Xiao Yao improve on her choice of being consciously honest with herself and trying to show that in words and actions, and hence become emotionally coherent. She buried herself emotionally, she has been breaking the confines of that coffin akin to a crystal ball's limitations, and she is finally consciously pushing her way out of her emotional coffin to embrace life for what it is. Xiang Liu's death has taught her several lessons, about being honest with oneself and embracing reality here and now, instead of running or avoiding. I am not a Tushan Jing fan nor am I a Cang Xuan fan, but I want Tushan Jing to help Xiao Yao be happy. That would also be fulfilling Xiang Liu's wish of countless sacrifices.

"Lost You Forever" can be interpreted in multiple ways. It is about Cang Xuan losing Xiao Yao, Xiao Yao losing her mother and Xiang Liu, Xiao Yao losing the fractured girl that she was to reconcile Xiao Yao and Wen Xiaoliu inside as a person to grow, and also Tushan Jing losing Wen Xiaoliu and Xiao Yao to Xiang Liu after Xiang Liu's death because part of her will always be only for Xiang Liu and no one else. Xiang Liu does not lose anything in death, because he has ensured he lives on in the hearts of those who want to be with Xiao Yao. Tushan Jing is magnanimous enough not to be an ass about Xiang Liu after he dies, giving Xiang Liu due credit. Xiang Liu did not evaluate Tushan Jing wrongly.

Life is not a drama series we can watch about multiple situations in advance about multiple people, and then decide what to do. The main characters could only use what they knew to decide, there and then. And if there's one lesson this drama teaches, it is the importance of not faulting people for certain choices because all of us have burdens. Filial piety and other values play a very strong role, in how Tushan Jing had to make choices about his clan while loving Xiao Yao. This novel is not set in a modern Western society, where individualism can easily be a main priority for someone. People of his positions usually are expected to prioritise the clan. The opinion weight of elders will also be important to respect. He carries the history and heritage of a prestigious clan on his shoulders, and he had better not fuck up. If the elders of the clan are opposed to your choices until you can get them on your side (if ever), good luck with any promises you made.

There is important context which cannot be missed, when people claim Xiang Liu was abusive and hence is unfit for Xiao Yao. Xiang Liu is a general, whose men undergo life-or-death situations every day. Wen Xiaoliu as a man and stranger poisoned his unique steed which is immune to most poisons, told lies, demonstrated rebellion = Wen Xiaoliu should have been executed by Xiang Liu. Instead, Xiang Liu oddly spares Wen Xiaoliu. Xiang Liu changes along the way, after spending more time with Wen Xiaoliu. It's nice to imagine that Xiang Liu should have been nice to Wen Xiaoliu right from the start. That is also unrealistic, because Xiang Liu does not know who Wen Xiaoliu is. And Xiang Liu needs time to carefully vet Wen Xiaoliu. On top of that, Xiang Liu will not magically turn into a saint who chivalrously entertains a suspicious stranger in a respectful modern context, also because he has rough edges from a very hard life.

When encountering a stranger who can poison a unique steed and also have illusion magic that I cannot penetrate to see the real person, when I myself am considered very strong (see what he used when handling Fu Sang wood, to make the laughing doll in chapter 51)? I would definitely take as much time as I need to decide, before I decide whether to trust this person on anything, such as their judgment. Especially as a leader, a smart and highly-respected leader. I might fall in love, but it does not mean I am going to let my guard down and become stupid. Xiang Liu's reputation and longevity garnering respect and fear from his biggest foes is due to his choices and achievements which creates the gossip, not the other way around.

If Cang Xuan ordering his men to break Wen Xiaoliu's leg and getting an interrogator to ensure Wen Xiaoliu talks is understood and acceptable, Xiang Liu's reactions are also understood and acceptable.

By the way, if you work in a position where you are responsible for a whole company, a platoon or at least a division of more than 10 people, at least 99% of the time you never make decisions solely for yourself, if you are a good leader. You always bear that responsibility of considering the company/division/the team members. Xiang Liu's traumas and responsibilities are what enabled him to evaluate Xiao Yao from multiple angles, to know what Xiao Yao needs. Needs, not wants. Huge difference.

And Xiang Liu knows he cannot help Xiao Yao in some aspects because he is too aware of what he considers about himself to be lacking, but he reckons someone else who is not him can do so for her future. He saw Xiao Yao for what she is in the present, and he was also considering how to protect her in future. He was evaluating Tushan Jing accordingly and if he had thought Tushan Jing was not suitable for Xiao Yao, what would stop Xiang Liu from killing Tushan Jing earlier? Supplies for his troops? Xiang Liu had decided Tushan Jing's suitability and future by a certain point. I reckon he made that decision, when he realised the magnitude of Tushan Jing's sacrifice to protect Xiao Yao's body, then had a discussion with Cang Xuan before using up one life to revive Xiao Yao.

Xiang Liu is a demon who has never experienced love. But what he has given as love is far more selfless than Tushan Jing and Cang Xuan. Your opinion may vary. But if you want to understand this as best as possible, you'd have to understand mandarin, the cultural mores, and have digested both the books and the drama. Relying on subtitles and translations will only get you so far. That said, Zhang Wan Yi is such an awesome actor as Cang Xuan that where I was "meh" about him in the books, I really felt bad for Cang Xuan in the drama and want him to be with someone who can love Cang Xuan properly. And no, it is not Xiao Yao. She would not be good for Cang Xuan's emotional health. Cang Xuan needs someone very different from Xiao Yao, to heal. Cang Xuan needs someone who can see him for what he is, and inform him, appreciate him and show him how that works, and let him feel as if he can rely on someone emotionally. He would do best with a female version of Xiao Yao's "father". Being brother-zoned was so tragic.

And it is good that Xiao Yao is lost to Cang Xuan, so he can grow and become emotionally healthy. But that's going to take quite some time. All of them need time. So in the end, they each got what they need, to move forward. It's the best ending possible, for each of them.