idontwanttothanks

Is anyone who disagrees with you considered a Ray minion? Because I have never been called one of those before but I guess there's a first time for everything. 😂

I do not think it was chemistryless, but I think it was deliberately painted to be more romantic and less sexy - everything from the music to the coloring to the way it was shot. It makes a ton of sense to me that it was done this way, too, because it's supposed to symbolize a shift in the relationship.

Yeah, that could definitely be it, although he's paralleled her situation to his before. On some level I think he knows he has a problem, he just really doesn't want to face it. Which is Ray all over tbh - he does this in pretty much every aspect of his life.

And yep, he definitely has a "they can fix me" problem. I've seen this a LOT in real life, too. It never works because other people can't be responsible for your happiness. They can be a part of it, but they can't be the whole.

I was just thinking about that, actually - Ray trying to make Sand his entire existence. I thought he'd pull it with Mew when they started dating but he swerved that to chase Sand nonstop instead. However, I can't help but think that he's definitely going to do it with Sand. I hope not, but they're not high hopes, lol.

No way to tell, honestly. He might for a bit, because I do think Ray's gonna seem to get better at first because he's happy an in the honeymoon phase of the new relationship, but as you said it won't last.

Thus far he seems to be fairly clear eyed on Ray, though, which is why I wonder if he's dealt with something similar before. I expect him to fuck up spectacularly though, because it's his turn, lol. And he's human and only 22 at most. I've said it before, but it's hard to deal with someone with Ray's issues when you have far more years of experience under your belt. I do not see them working out at all but I'm once again back on the I hope they can salvage a friendship out of it train.

Horrible things probably, because First is a troll. 🤣🤣

I mean, 100% changed? No of course not. But I'm still hopeful for him to be on a real upward swing at the end. I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility.

Also we don't know he gets arrested - that was in the mock trailer so could very well have been replaced by the scene in the hostel.

I think they can last, but it's a lot of work and the road is very very hard. I do not think that Sand and Ray will, though. Because as you said, old patterns will emerge. They emerge even when the person getting help actually wants it and thinks that they have a problem, let alone when they very much dont!

I'm not going to go around in circles with you on this.

Let's just accept that you see him as a weak doormat for Ray and I do not, and move on.

Yes, this. Ray still can't admit that he has a problem! You see it all over his face every time someone brings up his drinking, even if he doesn't say it (although he does say it - "I don't have a problem, I just drink when I want to" (paraphrased I can't remember the exact line). Every single time, he gets this look - he's rejecting what's being said even as he nods and goes along to shut up whoever is speaking. And yeah, he's in a better place right now because things are going well, but the second that stops what will happen?

I think Ray also thinks that other people will fix him - not his addiction, because he doesn't think that that's a problem - but definitely his depression. He flat out tells Mew that, and I think we'll see it with Sand, too. But that's not how that works either.

Like I said, I hope he comes to that realization because nothing concrete will be done until he does. I'm very worried about what might make him finally see it, though. Very.

I wish I could frame this comment, There's a serious "I can fix them" problem that people get with this kind of thing and I do not understand it. I do think that Sand has so far managed to handle Ray better than most, and it does make me wonder if he's had experience with addicts before or if it's down to his mom? IDK. But he can't fix Ray. I don't think he thinks he can as of right now, but I do worry he might fall into the trap of thinking that he can make Ray want to fix himself, which is...also not going to happen.

...I think you're responding more to fandom than anything Sand has done yet. Not saying he won't, but he hasn't once yet acted like he can magically fix Ray.

Well we have a difference of opinion on Sand and that's fine. :-)

People expecting him to magically fix Ray are funny though. No amount of love can fix a person; they have to want to fix themselves. Ray's not there yet, but I think that he will be eventually. I hope so.

This is Only Friends, where every episode is episode 11.

I genuinely want to see that happen. I want to see Ray's reaction, because I genuinely do not believe he'd take anyone else touching Sand well at all.

Fully agreed. I think this is going to go badly, mostly because he's doing it for Sand and for Mew and not for himself.

I do have hope though that eventually he will want to do it for himself. But he still doesn't think he has a problem, and things like this won't work if you can't even admit you have an issue.

Lol just a little bit. Consider it karma.

Sand. I hope he wrecks him.

I don't think I'm talking about poly as in a relationship with more than one person at once. I'm talking an open relationship where Nick and Boston both sleep with other people but come home to each other. I do think Boston likes sex and he likes it with more than one person, but I also think that he's very good at separating feelings from the sex act.

I think I'd be more irritated by it if Mew was. But Mew super didn't care so it's like...why should I? And I know they say once a cheater, always a cheater, but eh, I don't necessarily buy that and also, the circumstances were weird.

I do think karma is coming for Ray though in the shape of a leggy musician. Or maybe I just hope so. :D

Yeah, me too. Ray was the one character that I was having problems with for my own reasons and also because Sand is my baby (I admit my own biases freely). Like I said I think it helped that he was mostly sober this ep so his worst qualities weren't being exacerbated. I just need him to calm down a little.

But other than that I like everyone in this bar. And now I'm sitting back and just waiting for whatever happens.

Yeah I still think they dragged it on far too long - it was clear to me that neither of them was feeling it half as much as they were pretending last ep, and I honestly felt like if they kept it up this one I was gonna quit. Dragged the whole show down for me tbh. But I am looking forward to the real BFF era.