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This review may contain spoilers
"No matter which path you choose ... know it will be for your own sake and your own happiness."
[cw for the drama: death of a parent, death of a daughter, abortion, grief]
This was all around an outstanding drama; perfectly acted, gently filmed, and not at all what I expected from the synopsis.
For all that Tsukioka Natsu, the father, is listed as the sole main character, this is a drama that is primarily about women.
It is about family in the broader sense (and we get to see various family constellations here), and it is about becoming and being a father, but it is much more specifically abut motherhood, about mother-daughter-relationships, about children who are wanted or not, about abortion, and how hard of a choice it is; it's about women who make choices.
And grief. So, so much grief, and grieving, looked at from every angle, how each of the characters feels the loss, whether it is daughter, mother, friend or ex-lover.
And apart from some lashing out, not out of malice, but because the characters are overwhelmed, there's so much gentleness, kindness, and patience.
The characters do their best to give each other time to adjust. They make mistakes, they try to amend them. They listen.
And there are characters who find it hard to express themselves, and still try so hard to understand and be understood, and to find the best way forward.
Consequently, this is a drama that takes its time to tell the story, of how the characters got here, and of how they might continue. It's slow-paced, but no scene, no dialogue feels superfluous. The actors play their characters with gravity where needed, and with levity where possible -- naturally, with care and with respect. Just like the characters listen to each other with patience, and accept their choices, the drama asks us to do the same.
Because this is a drama, that, much more then it is about family, is about the right to choose. It's about choosing your own happiness. It shows how every choice will have consequences, for ourselves, and for others; how every choice wil have a price -- and a prize.
And in this drama, it's almost always the women who take the agency, not the men. In a patriarchal society that expects women to be mothers, and mothers to sacrifice their own happiness for family (in conservative Japan even more than in Western Europe), this drama shows us alternatives.
It gives us a women who decides to not have a child -- and how she still feels guilt and nevertheless lives a happy life.
It gives us a woman who decides to have a child and be a single mother -- and how she is happy even though it's hard.
It gives us a woman who needs to let her daughter find her own path.
It gives us women who choose to be in a romantic relationship -- and women who reject it for themselves.
It gives us women who choose.
And women who protect other women's choices.
We, as the audience, won't agree with all of their choices. But it's their choice to make, not ours. Like Mizuki says in episoe 9:
"There is no such thing as a choice that will appease everyone. But know this. There's no reason to sacrifice yourself. Do not become too kind to others. Do not act like a person who acts out of understanding. Please, allow your self to be a bit selfish. Make this choice yourself. And no matter which path you choose ... know it will be for your own sake and your own happiness."
This was all around an outstanding drama; perfectly acted, gently filmed, and not at all what I expected from the synopsis.
For all that Tsukioka Natsu, the father, is listed as the sole main character, this is a drama that is primarily about women.
It is about family in the broader sense (and we get to see various family constellations here), and it is about becoming and being a father, but it is much more specifically abut motherhood, about mother-daughter-relationships, about children who are wanted or not, about abortion, and how hard of a choice it is; it's about women who make choices.
And grief. So, so much grief, and grieving, looked at from every angle, how each of the characters feels the loss, whether it is daughter, mother, friend or ex-lover.
And apart from some lashing out, not out of malice, but because the characters are overwhelmed, there's so much gentleness, kindness, and patience.
The characters do their best to give each other time to adjust. They make mistakes, they try to amend them. They listen.
And there are characters who find it hard to express themselves, and still try so hard to understand and be understood, and to find the best way forward.
Consequently, this is a drama that takes its time to tell the story, of how the characters got here, and of how they might continue. It's slow-paced, but no scene, no dialogue feels superfluous. The actors play their characters with gravity where needed, and with levity where possible -- naturally, with care and with respect. Just like the characters listen to each other with patience, and accept their choices, the drama asks us to do the same.
Because this is a drama, that, much more then it is about family, is about the right to choose. It's about choosing your own happiness. It shows how every choice will have consequences, for ourselves, and for others; how every choice wil have a price -- and a prize.
And in this drama, it's almost always the women who take the agency, not the men. In a patriarchal society that expects women to be mothers, and mothers to sacrifice their own happiness for family (in conservative Japan even more than in Western Europe), this drama shows us alternatives.
It gives us a women who decides to not have a child -- and how she still feels guilt and nevertheless lives a happy life.
It gives us a woman who decides to have a child and be a single mother -- and how she is happy even though it's hard.
It gives us a woman who needs to let her daughter find her own path.
It gives us women who choose to be in a romantic relationship -- and women who reject it for themselves.
It gives us women who choose.
And women who protect other women's choices.
We, as the audience, won't agree with all of their choices. But it's their choice to make, not ours. Like Mizuki says in episoe 9:
"There is no such thing as a choice that will appease everyone. But know this. There's no reason to sacrifice yourself. Do not become too kind to others. Do not act like a person who acts out of understanding. Please, allow your self to be a bit selfish. Make this choice yourself. And no matter which path you choose ... know it will be for your own sake and your own happiness."
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