Honglou Meng

I'm with you. My past and present are painful enough -- in particular as it pertains to my life as a gay man -- that I first came to BL to escape that painful reality. And I find that escapism in one of two ways: the pretension that there *is* a world without homophobia, and where, for instance, I could have had that unblemished 'hatsukoi'; or, in the crossing of taboos and boundaries, in other words, sexual "transgressions", in the name of which gay men have long been pilloried, and the dimunition of which, and the desexualisation of whom, makes us "acceptable" to the straight community. I more strongly approve of and enjoy the latter, because it is more nakedly political and subversive... But this is also why I can enjoy Dangerous Drugs of Sex and Old Fashion Cupcake at the same time -- without seeming contradictory.

What shows like The Only One do is try to have it both ways -- and not only does it not work, but it borrows the vocabulary of realism to perpetuate homophobia, rather than luxuriate in boys' love. Let's face it, this show is not *real* in any sense of the word. Moments of intimacy and desire may be real, yes, but the edifice upon which the show is built is pure fantasy. Why then lean on internalised homophobia, in the name of 'realism', to destroy that fantasy? I find it extremely distasteful when BLs do this. They only talk about the real world, and LGBT rights, when it furthers the plot, and helps them supply a deficit in conflicts. Otherwise, they have no need for the realities of homophobia and transphobia. Only gay men, for the most part, seem to see through such naked opportunism.

Anyway, this is a slight simplification. But my point, I hope, is clear. I am encouraged, however, by the direction JBLs have been taking of late. Almost every show uses the word "gay", but without the intent to slander someone, or lean on societal homophobia as a plot point -- something BLs from other countries shockingly still don't do, even where gay rights have progressed much farther.

Your parenthetical comment -- absolutely. People here use the source material as the justification for all the problems with scriptwriting and characterisation, when absolute fidelity to the material is seldom a good idea, least of all because the medium is different. And I also get upset when, in using this justification, people spoil the whole show, by not using the spoiler button. But, here we are...

I think I have for sometime been troubled by the diluted use of the word "trauma" as a catch all explanation for everything. But when consensual gay sex, however tenuously, and with however many qualifications, is described as "traumatic" or causing "trauma", I get alarmed.

On Tian's sexuality, and how it relates to his father's, and the shock of what he witnessed, I couldn't have said it better...

It is quite something to watch people tear each other apart here. I don't know whether to get the popcorn, or play peacemaker.

This is an unusually thoughtful, eloquent, and insightful comment. Thank you!

I had feared, by Ep. 9, that this was exactly where the show was headed, which is what I had said in my review before I quit. (My friends here have been kind enough to keep me posted of the developments since then.) But even I didn't see the arc of internal homophobia coming, let alone its role in the (apparent?) separation of the protagonists.

My friends tell me of people writing here of Tian's "trauma", and of this stemming from witnessing his father's sexual expression. I hope I've been misinformed. But if not, I don't even want to think about the implications of this plotline... let alone how people interpret it as 'traumatic'.

This is absolutely ridiculous and silly. But I can't stop watching it!

Also, is it because he's a lawyer, or because he's spent too much time at lifting weights, that Shiba cannot even crack a smile? If so, I've found my new excuse not to go to the gym.

Also, there's something else I don't understand. The series is set in 2012-14. if there is a 10-year time jump to today. (Correct me if I'm mistaken.) Didn't smartphones exist throughout this period? Skype, FaceTime? Assuming there is a trip abroad as well, aren't there flights? Couldn't they meet in secret?

I don't set much store by realism. But given that the vocabulary of BLs such as these is supposed to be realism -- even though BL, almost by definition, isn't "realistic" -- it makes no sense. If I had been separated from someone I loved (and knew the love was mutual), I'd want to contact him as soon as possible, keep texting, keep talking, get him to see me, make it work. Am I wrong to find this whole conceit ridiculous and outdated?

"Vomit the conclusion". Haha, perfect.

Nah, I'm not giving ITSAY Team 1. At best 0.5. I merely moved it to the "overrated" section, because I don't want something on a list purely as provocation. When ITSAY makes it to this list, or at least moves out of the "overrated" list, I'll give you the remaining 0.5.

Also, "Stranger on the Internet": sounds like the title of a very entertaining Grindr-based Thai BL thriller. Can someone give me the number of GMMTV's BL Factory Division?

EDIT: Which three on the list did you binge watch again?

Given your comment, and those of others below, I actually ended up moving ITSAY from the worst to the overrated list -- which I think is fairer. Won't remove Bad Buddy from here, though. I really did hate it.

Your comment made me very happy, because (a) you took the time to look at what I both liked *and* disliked, and (b) you recognised, confessed to, and corrected for the way this platform (and other social media) makes us behave in general to strangers online. It's a very rare thing, and something that makes me, a stranger, proud of you.

Yeah, my dislike of ITSAY gets me into a lot of trouble. I know the cheese stands alone here. I ought to rewatch it to see if still I feel the same way. For Bad Buddy, I make no apologies: it is just a very bad show.

A friend made the observation that things look different when you binge-watch, as opposed to watch them episode-by-episode. I binge-watched both series. Maybe they come off better if you watched them as they aired?

And you too!

I have posted a full review of the show above.

I'm glad it is in two parts, because my friend and I found the first 6 episodes wonderful, original, enthralling, unique. The last 2 episodes, however... Those familiar with my comments below and elsewhere will recognise that this is exactly what I was afraid of. Why do I feel like Cassandra in Agamemnon?

You just beat me to it. Read my comment below! Japan was going through an Ellen phase, it seems, with KNT, and then a Will & Grace phase with Ossan's Love. I wonder when they'll arrive at Brokeback Mountain.

Hahaha, I did. I'm watching everything Japanese at the moment to improve my spoken language.

I think you mean "What did you eat yesterday?" (Kinou nani tabeta?). I watched a few episodes and quit. I found it insufferable. I love Nishijima Hidetoshi from Drive My Car, but even he couldn't pull this one off. You know it was incredibly popular among straight people in Japan, and was a mainstream success? No wonder, the lead hates his lover, and all he cares about is parsimony and cooking. They don't even touch each other -- which, I suppose, is a bit like straight marriage after 5 years. So, relatable content for them!

Oh, thank you! I'm so glad! I like nothing more than for my writing to make people laugh. Sometimes cry, but mostly laugh. :)

This is the last time I'm going to engage with this. But yes, you did. Not all of us go and look up the manga. We just look at the description provided by MDL, and by the network. I copy and paste the description from MDL below:

"Mishima, a student living in a remote countryside, was being bullied by the boys in his class. The reason? Because Mishima “seemed gay.” In reality, Mishima did like men, but he had no way to resist, and secretly dressing up as a woman was his only solace.

One day, as Mishima was enjoying his usual alone time on the rooftop, he happened to witness Kirino, the leader of the bullying group, holding the lipstick Mishima thought he had lost. Kirino was secretly trying to apply the lipstick that Mishima had used to his own lips. A youth story that boys who sought a place where they could be their ‘true selves’ somewhere in this world want to convey the most right now."

Please tell me where it 'literally' uses the words "tragedy", "trauma", "friendship", or "if you're looking for romance, you'll be disappointed" in the description above -- words you used in your post, and which spoilt the series for me. I'll wait.

The point, again, is that most of us don't go and look up the Manga. We're here only for the live-action show. So, if you put up any information from the manga, please use the spoiler option.

And so you should! And far be it from me to suggest that we cut BLs any slack *because* they are BLs. My attention, alas, is, both in spick and span, quite short, and wanders whither it will. :)

On the over-the-top bullying, I see what you mean. It does seem like a drawing out of a manga. I thought you meant more the extremity of it, because, as I said, it took me straight back to my high school.

ありがとうございます!

I'm not sure how much store I, personally, set by the distinction between BL and LGBT -- though I recognise that such a distinction is historically and sociologically very important; and that one is primarily a straight girl's fantasy, and the other a gay or bi man's reality. However, the boundaries between the two have become quite permeable. The recent crop of JBLs have all begun to use the word "gay" -- which BLs from other countries still scrupulously avoid -- and I am very heartened by that.

No, you did. I didn't know there was no romance, I didn't know it was tragic. I'd rather not know. I go into these things blind, because I want to be surprised.

PSA: For those of you who have read the source materials, it might be a good idea, in general, to put a spoiler on your comments, because you inadvertently keep releasing details we'd rather not know. It is so frustrating.

I know. I was so fucking angry when I came across this comment. It ruined so much of the story.

Lol. On the dad: yes! And for once, the life-expectancy of a mother in a BL isn't 30!

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of waiting for 15 mins. every 7 days. HOTE at least gave us two episodes a week. The waiting part's going to be quite annoying, especially as we are relying on fansubs. Sigh.