solipsism5

I feel the same way. I can't rewatch the ending or any part of this for the time being. It affected me very strongly - like no other BL. I don't know how I can watch any part of it without crying internally about what happens to Tofu, but I wish I could some day.

Thank you very much for your explanation. I appreciate all your posts here that help us understand this drama from the Thai audience's perspective. Is this novel available anywhere to foreigners? Also, if you can indulge me one last time, what is the event that happens to both Nueng and Tofu that links them? In this timeless dimension you're talking about in this quote, does Tofu reunite with Nut in some way?

Very very true. This was just a horror story ending. No healing for Nut can alleviate the torture-room ending for Tofu. Some people are also forgetting about the very sad ending for the mom who has both Alzheimer's and Schizophrenia (like tragedy squared). Why so much heartbreak? I watch BL's to escape this, not to have extra portions of gloom and doom thrown on me. I wonder why so many commenters think this is a happy story if you look at it from the right perspective. I guess the side character Tarn is happy, but Nut is going to have another tragedy coming up with his mom who is apparently deteriorating pretty fast. She's only in her 50's or early 60's so why did they choose to make her have a worse case of Alzheimer's than normal? [sigh]

I think the poor ending was due to an unintended consequence of this crazy book deal,. Maybe the author had some reason to force the production company to keep the ending where the teddy bear goes back to being his original self, to maintain the spirit of his original creation, but the production company made the mistake of making the teddy bear the center of the drama [or perhaps made a business decision that the teddy bear would draw a bigger audience than Tarn's spirit]. This caused the creation of a baffling ending where the main character has to return to live forever trapped as an inanimate object that can't say a word to someone who he loved as deeply as anyone can possible love another person. This is really beyond tragedy - it's a horror story. But, believe me, the production company didn't think this through, or they didn't care because they were only interested in getting a larger audience draw.

And given the original deal, this show would always be tragic for the teddy bear, but the blow would be softened if it wasn't the main character, and we saw like 70-90 percent of the drama revolving around Tarn and Nut. That would be the only solution that would make sense with the production company's hands tied but they made their decision to probably get a larger audience draw focussing on the Teddy Bear and its cute interactions with Nut.

I want to say that I viewed Tofu as the main character and only love this drama because of him, and that he achieved sentience. Even the other inanimate objects noticed he was becoming human. After that happened, the production company has to be somewhat heartless and thoughtless to force that ending on us. I know they had some hard decisions to make, and they did a great job in a lot of other areas, but they seem heartless in a way most of us would never be.

But why does Tofu have to die in the novel then? I'm confused as to why has to die if it's not necessary?

Tarn even knew that Sib died so he could have reunited with his "true love", Nut, without any hindrance. He also should have known Nut would at least be traumatized after his father dies [even if he didn't like him], but still never comes back. Why doesn't he at least come back after the murder of Sib which he clearly knew about? This is one of the sloppiest parts of the script. If Tarn still goes to Nut after Tofu dies, what caused him to go back then, and not sooner? If Tarn is so attached to Nut that after ten years he still has eyes for only him, why the long wait? It just doesn't make any sense.

The love for Tofu makes much more sense to me and is more "realistic".

This was still a great BL. I'm finding it hard to watch a new BL after this because of its strong impact. I still don't like the ending and still feel it was very clumsy. I understand that they had to cut out scenes but that didn't excuse the silly pandering scene with Prib. I think Tofu would have been burnt to a crisp in the crematorium - he wasn't going to get out of that after the flames started up. The doors are shut tight to prevent flames from escaping. The scene with him running away from the dog is totally ridiculous. Even if he could move, dogs run at about 20-30 mph. The silly scene when he is sitting naked and crouching between Tarn and Nut looked ridiculous. The marriage proposal was very rushed, and, even if time has passed, there was no development of the relationship between Tarn and Nut. This series was just too rushed at the end, and that ruined its artistic merits. You would never see a memorable masterpiece in normal cinema have such sloppy work in the ending. On the BL side, Not Me had to have a lot of cuts but that did not detract much from the show in its final episode. The director has to be smart enough to make tough choices in the editing process.

I still love this series for much of its intelligent story-telling, and its wonderful, complex character development. The ability of the director and screenwriters to make me fall in love with an inanimate object to such an incredible degree was phenomenal. I fell in love with Tofu who has such an other-worldly gentleness, and purity. It was his glowing personality that brought such a sense of joy and light to this series that I will never forget. The love of Nut for Tofu was also the centerpiece of this drama for me, and the journey of the wounded, insensible, and self-hating Nut that was slowly healed by the great love of Tofu was one of the best things I've ever watched in any drama. And I felt so strongly for Nut after he lost Tofu, and the scene where he sings his love song to him at the end was one of the most poignant and heart-breaking things I have ever watched - I was just gasping at that scene because of how painful it was.

Unfortunately, the best part of this drama was taken away, and all I was left with was a Teddy Bear that is trapped in its synthetic fabric, forever watching his love without any ability to communicate with him. I just can't get interested in Tarn and his love for Nut which to me is just a theoretical concept. I felt the love of Tofu at a very gut level beyond the love I've felt in any other BL. To make myself feel better, I've rewritten the ending in my head, and I love the alternate ending of Saifagio posted below. I'm just taking away the best thing in this drama and leaving the rest behind, so I guess, in the end, it was well worth the watch.

He's not discrediting anyone. He is clearly trying to state that people can have different opinions about the series. The main point is to let people make up their own minds and not discourage them from watching the series. I, myself, did not like the ending, but there is no reason not to defend something you enjoyed as BenedictTan does.

And even if I didn't like the ending I thought this BL was executed at the highest level, and the ending does not really take away from that, except that, in my opinion the last episode was lower in quality compared to the rest of the series. I was experiencing an other-worldly amazing BL until episode 16 and then I felt I was watching a mediocre one (I mean that particular episode). How that effected the overall quality of the series is a very subjective opinion - it lowered my rating from a 10 to a 9, but for others it might bring it down to a 2.

I agree, the ending with Prib was irritating, and came out of nowhere. It was also filler, which screenwriters should really avoid at the end of a drama which should be the climax of the series. I am just rewriting the series in my head to make a great ending. Why not? And Tarn should have been killed a thousand times over while he was in a coma. Why wouldn't that evil corporation send some thug in to cut off his oxygen (don't tell me that wouldn't be both highly possible and probable). I'll just link Tofu's life to Nut who gave him life with his tears, and not Tarn who just bought him in the store. In my scenario Tofu's life wouldn't be linked to Tarn's.

Nonetheless, this series execution is about the best I've ever seen. I think with a little editing it could have been better for me personally. I'm finding it hard to be objective about this :) But it is also objectively not a great ending. For that to have been a fitting conclusion we should at least have had a lot more of the romance of Tarn and Nut for us to feel anything for it. And didn't the marriage proposal also come out too quickly? How about let's get reacquainted first after ten years of not speaking to each other?

I really loved this show, but, for me, it was not really a 10 like it should have been. It will always be a semi-tragedy for me. Maybe this is the tragedy of not getting the ending I wanted, but it is more the tragedy of having been invested completely in a pure love story between two people, and to have that thrown away for another love story I was barely able to appreciate. I watch BL's for the escapism, and the culmination of a love story between two men, because after a hard day in the real world, that is why I appreciate them. I know some people will love this story and it has many excellent qualities that I also thoroughly appreciated, but it seemed crazy to have the whole series about a love between two people that was achieved so perfectly and to have that just thrown away. Tofu will never get to interact with his true love, and will just be an inanimate object watching Nut making love to someone else who he can not but help to be jealous of - isn't that a tragedy?

I would still recommend this series to others for the brilliant acting, screenplay, cinematography, etc., but, unfortunately, I am not very happy after having watched it.

I can't say enough how much I love this show. The innocence and sweetness of Tofu is just so wonderful. I love all the sentimental scenes with him and virtually everyone else, even if they are reminiscent of something from the Hallmark channel. I loved the old gay couple [who were finally revealed to be a couple], and what a nice contrast they are to each other - one is so positive and ebullient and the other seems philosophical and contemplative. I really enjoyed Na's speech explaining her condition to her friends which was both dramatic and quietly tragic. Even the old school teacher has a heart-warming scene in this episode. This series has so much tragedy mixed in with such tranquil, tender scenes - I'm crying during both. I'll miss it enormously.

I'm really enjoying this drama. It's like 1/4 lakorn and 3/4 BL which makes it quite unique. The only problem I have with it so far is the depiction of the mom who has schizophrenia. Working in the mental health field, I find her depiction a little off, and her son's behavior towards his mentally disabled mom is rather cruel. Rather than empowering her he infantilizes her, and rather than deescalating her psychotic episodes, he escalates them. Where is a doctor in all of this? Someone should have coached the son better on how to handle his mom. At one point he learns she is not taking her mediication which for a person with schizophrenia is a very serious issue - not taking their medication will lead to irreparable loss in the patient's cognitive abilities even after a short "drug holiday". Rather than helping her with her medication management, he just ignores the problem and leaves it to Tofu to handle. I like the sensitivity toward gay issues in this drama but they completely ignore the sensitivity toward a person in the mental health community. Mental health is as serious a disability as any other and is often not given proper recognition like other disabilities such as deafness, blindness, MS, etc. Just imagine the mom being deaf in this series. There would be a huge outcry by fans if Nut treated her as savagely as he does with his mom suffering from mental illness. I say this to give people some idea of the lack of knowledge and sensitivity towards mental health issues in various dramas. I understand Nut's issue with his mom and her at least passive homophobia, but it doesn't excuse his insensitivity concerning her schizophrenia.

Forgetting about this serious flaw, I'm still enjoying everything else in this show. The acting and cinematography are excellent, and a lot of the dialogue is very touching.

It's not that bad. I'm enjoying this series on a low-key level. Its plot is rather unique - not just the engagement aspect of it, but the relationship of the two families. Lian's family are nouveau riche and they are helping the landed gentry family of Kuea. The interesting family dynamic is mirrored in the relationship with Kuea and Lian. Lian was supposed to be cold because of his tough upbringing, but he is also not really reserved [I'm going more off the novels here, but you can see some of this in episodes 7 and 8]. If I have a criticism of this series, it's that he should have let down his guard earlier. It's ok in a novel for someone to be that cold for virtually hundreds of pages, but it doesn't play too well onscreen. But he is finally coming out of his shell, so people should start forgiving Lian's behavior earlier in the series. Don't eviscerate me for saying this - I didn't mind waiting, but I understand most of you couldn't tolerate him that long.

The second couple of YiDiao is very mysterious to the point I have virtually no understanding of their backstory, but they are still interesting - their emotions towards each other are very complex and that keeps them engaging. I'm not watching BL's for skinship and kissing but there seems to be quite a lot of it in this series, and I can't help but think that's a positive - there should be more of this stuff in general in BL's. I hate to see the series where there is just one timid kiss at the finale.

I agree with most of this, especially about Theo being terrible - he seemed like a classist narcissist, but I'm not happy about Akk either. He could have avoided most of this trauma if he could just have confessed his love for Theo, and he really should have told Theo off for wanting to go to France without him. If this was the real world, Akk would have almost certainly lost Theo due to his pusillanimous behavior. The happy ending was not earned and the bulk of this drama was wasted on two young lovers acting liking idiots.

Huh, that was a mess. I know some people think it was at least moderately well done, but I think it was just below average except for the cinematography. I don't think the acting was that bad, and I had no problem with the chemistry between Akk and Theo, but the plot was just one of the worst for a BL I've ever seen. I must admit that I skipped several episodes and it had no impact on my understanding of the story - somewhere between episodes 3 to 8 there was just a massive amount of filler. All the action took place in the last two episodes, and that plot was just ridiculous. Even as Theo has been playing with Akk for much of this series, when he finally reveals himself as being Enchante and Akk can finally say he loves Theo, Theo once again rebukes Akk for not letting him attempt to reconcile his parents. Now when have you ever seen a show, even a rather sentimental one from the Hallmark channel, have a character attempt to reconcile two parents that have already long been separated. From, my experience, I have never seen that - it's because it is totally ridiculous and completely absurd. Why also would the wise and more experienced Sun suggest such a stupid idea? Wasn't that one of the most cringey scenes you ever saw when Theo was playing his parent's wedding video back to them? After that failed attempt to reconcile his parents Theo then sees that Akk was right all along, and instead of seeing that Akk is usually right about things, he decides to probe him, once again, with another foolish test - possibly losing him forever. Only because Sun reveals that he is not really Theo's lover does Akk even try to make an attempt for him. You have to also wonder why the sister of Akk tries to convince him to give up on Theo when there is no reason to be so certain that Sun and Theo are lovers - after all, why did Sun never contact Theo for all the months he was away from him in Thailand? In the end, Theo and Akk make up in France and they "discover" once again they are totally in love and now propose marriage to each other. Ugh!

Just remember there was probably 6 episodes with virtually nothing going on, and that the rest of the plot was on the point of being just a random collection of events. I don't recommend this show to anyone, because it was all style and no substance. The idea of incorporating French culture into a BL was done on a wholly superficial level. What would have been nice would be if they had perhaps incorporated some more elements of the story of the Little Prince in the series, but all allusions to that story were also done on a very superficial level. 4 out of 10 for me, but I still enjoyed Theo and Akk so if that was what you came for, you can still enjoy them if you skip over about 80 percent of this series.

I need time to recover from this show. It was overwhelmingly good and has been the best BL, for me, personally that I have ever watched. I really love this genre and am totally vested emotionally in it, and I can’t say enough how this has brought out the very highest qualities that exist in BL’s. It goes outside of the genre to capture some intense emotions that you hardly ever find in this fluffy, non-problematic, and fantastical space. The themes of social justice in so many forms, LGBTQ justice, justice for the disabled, for the working class, and for the citizens of Thailand was conveyed in such meaningful and impactful ways – this has to be some of the best messaging of any series in any genre. It lends such gravitas to a show that is supposed to be, at its center, about young men falling in love. And they do fall in love in a way that is more compelling and realistic than I have ever seen before, because the realism of the setting and the compelling storyline brings out such seering emotions in these couples.

The acting was just perfection and was perhaps the most well done in any BL, ever, especially if you look at all the side characters, as well. Gun Attaphan has been a great actor for a long time, and plays many roles outside of BL’s, so I was not surprised he pulled off his roles with such professionalism, but the series did pose him a bigger challenge than normal, having to portray two completely different personalities in one drama. I have a theory that the other actors had to step up their game to match his flawless performance, but they were all equally great. Sean was totally immersed in his character like I’ve never seen from him before. Even though First and Fluke have had other roles I’ve never seen them give out Oscar worthy performances before, and I still feel their acting was the most intense in this series. There was such great acting by the side characters like Todd (Sing), and Tawi (Pae) who perfectly expressed the evil of the corrupt oligarchs that run Thailand. The girls in the series Eugene (Lookjun), and Namo (Film) carried out their roles with great sympathy, and I never felt like they were an afterthought like in most BL dramas. I would also like to convey how much I loved the part of Yok’s mother – she was so magnetic and beautiful in her role, and easily the most loveable character in this drama.

I think that the whole drama is one that I feel is a landmark for the BL world, and part of the renaissance that began with I Told Sunset About You. It sets the bar very high for any future drama and will always be a classic for this genre. I feel a sense of euphoria having watched this like I have never felt for hardly any other movie or drama, and I feel I have taken away so much from this, even philosophically. I like the slogan at the end “Not me, Not you, But Everyone,” and hopefully this drama will help convince people that political change can only come about with everyone working together to promote change, and like Gumpa said, even as people had to have a revolution to come out of caves and form civilization, revolutions will always occur, and people should always have hope that they can create a better society.

That was an intense episode! It’s amazing they pulled out the master criminal from behind the shadows in the penultimate episode. I like how uncertain everything was here, and how all the plans of these kids never work out, just like in real life, while making us think their plans are finally about to work. How Dan is made out to be the villain one second and is the martyr in the next is done so well. This screenplay has been just superb for a BL – I can’t praise it enough. The whipsaw of emotions occurs again in this episode as Sean goes from a sense of bloodlust with Dan to remorse and sympathy, mirroring the rest of the gang’s feelings towards Dan.

I love the wonderful interactions with White and Sean, the intense love they convey that feels so real compared to almost every other BL. The love also conveyed by Yok towards Dan maybe even on a higher level, like someone that is completely devoted, and the extreme anguish Yok feels as he feels betrayed by Dan, and the heartbreak he feels after he leaves Dan behind has to one of the most intense moments I’ve ever seen in a BL, ever.

What happens with Black and Todd is a similar whipsaw of emotions. Black seems to really make on attempt to kill Todd, and yet he, somehow, still intends to work with him – I must admit this scene stretches the limits of my credulity, but I do think this is part of the fantasy element coming out in this drama again. Todd keeps wanting to work with Black even as Black mostly wants to kill him, but I believe Todd finally convinces him that they can still work together in the end. From the beginning, I’ve said the only person that could help these kids was someone in power, and Todd iterates those very words during this episode, because it is the reality of the political landscape in Thailand. I believe in the last scene when Black comes back to help the gang that Todd must have helped them engineer their escape.

We are left in the last scene with a completely desperate situation both for the gang as well as Dan, and it’s somehow the best cliffhanger since the beginning of the series. They did this so well, and they are climaxing just at the right moment. It’s an amazing series, that I can safely say is possibly the best BL series of its kind, though I’m not sure how to categorize it.

Of course there are healthy relationships and they are real, but a lot of BL’s are just fantasies. That is what the genre is about. I like BL’s for their fantasy element and wasn’t saying there was anything wrong with that and I am not besmirching other BL’s. Nonetheless, there are many BL’s of low quality and I do believe this one is better than a lot of them- that is, of course, a subjective opinion. I don’t think the acting was that bad, and most of the plot was coherent enough. This is all, again, subjective. This is by no means a masterpiece so there is a lot of room to disparage its weaker elements.

Of course these are just subjective opinions. I don’t know what you mean by accuracy except that I used the word in my last sentence. When I say accurate I am referring to the depiction of the messiness in relationships and I think that was done well enough in this drama, but you are welcome to disagree.

This show is just relentlessly good. I love the drama, the suspense, the great acting, the complex storyline, and the intense relationships. Every episode has just been hitting every mark that is worth hitting.

I loved the drama of White and Sean’s temporary break-up. I don’t mind admitting to being sentimental – I cried at the point when Sean told White he never wanted to see his face again. I’m just so vested in these characters, and they feel totally alive to me. In a similar vein, I felt very sympathetic to Dan after he confesses to Sean about accidentally killing his father. It’s amazing how quickly our emotions change in this drama, because I felt disgusted by Sean in this scene, but felt so sad for him when he confronted White. And even as we are involved in the intense emotions of the moment with Dan, someone brings up the code of Hammurabi and the Babylonian empire, just to remind us that this is also a very thoughtful and philosophical show. Gram convinces Sean that even since ancient times the idea of justice is imbued in the law system, and the Old Testament an Eye for an Eye system of revenge that he adheres to is primitive and without merit.

One other scene I thought was well done was Gram’s confession to Eugene. I felt how strongly he had to fight to win her love, and when she finally gives in, she asks him to dance with her, without music, to the rhythm of his heart which was such beautiful symbolism. Perhaps she is asking him to have a relationship with her that she could never have with Black who always sacrificed people to his ideology – a relationship based solely on the heart. When Black arrives, he also knows he can’t take her back from Gram, and the gruff, laconic way he conveys this is just a great testament to Gun’s acting skills.

After being disgusted by Sean in the previous scenes you suddenly feel sympathetic to him again after he makes White confess his identity to the others. Finally the long tension of White’s identity being hidden is resolved. Gumpa knew all along as many of us had suspected, and some of the sloppy looking screenwriting was explained pretty well. Even as this episode had constant drama and tension, somehow it is only the set-up for the even higher level of drama in the concluding episodes. I think this is just remarkable if you compare this to any other BL – there is nothing like it. It feels more like the conclusion of Lord of the Rings, and the final battle with the forces of Mordor, than any of your hundreds of other BL’s.