swagata

Does this need bg understanding of Christian beliefs? Because I see in comments people talking about it and I have no idea. If needed can someone enlighten me about the beliefs that I need to take into account before starting this series? Because even for "your love engraved herein' i was not able to understand why father was saying him that his love was a sin.

I guess no one is here trying to defend lu feng's criminal behaviour. Nor we are saying that yichen's toxicity is as bad as lufeng. What atleast my take is in real life I will not want both lufeng and yichen. Lufeng we all know but yichen's toxicity is also not joke even though it's not as par as lu feng. The reason being:-
1. After first separation of school days when lufeng came back he was hesitating to again come back in relationship with lu feng despite him having love for lufeng. I want to ask - does lufeng was also not afraid of loosing yichen or another heartbreak? He was also having fear but he went all in.
2. In college reunion- He didn't introduced lufeng as his bf. I get it that the society was like that so he couldn't. But u can say he is not as strong in his head to fight the world like lufeng.
3. Zhou lan proposal- Why he didn't said that he is in love with someone atleast?? Forget saying that he was in love with lufeng and he is gay. In real life i would run away from this kind of person. Who can't say that he is in relationship with me. It's a big big big red flag for me.
4. Inheritance issue- When lufeng said that he is going to cut ties with his family and his will. What did he said? " Are u going to break up with me?" I don't want to breakup. Expecting the same thing that lufeng chooses him over his family when lufeng father was dying. He literally died after hearing this that lufeng will never leave yichen.

Not saying yichen should also have done this and leave his mother dying. But then why did he expect the same from his partner? Is lufeng wrong is expecting the same from yichen deep down? Don't u think relationship is between two people so expectations are unavoidable. Lufeng expectations are not wrong. But yes yichen stand of thinking about his mother is valid as i would also think that.

5- Yichen's mother- Whenever his mother was saying that he should have married and start his family. He never took stand. And slowly make her understand that he is still in love with lufeng. Please don't give me homophobic mother drama. What i am saying he should have slowly make her know by giving hints that he is still not ready. Or start somewhere.

6. Heated argument with mother- when lufeng and yichen caught together. Then also yichen didn't talked to her nicely. He kept his quiet. What lufeng should have done? Again think from his pov that he was aware of the fact that yichen will never fight for their relationship and give in. And he just can't let him go. So he said that ok we are ok relationship. Nothing wrong. He was not aware of yichen's mother health. And plus how long this relationship should have kept hidden? Does yichen truly thought that ok let's keep everyone in dark and continue relationship and we will see and be happy?? Someday he needed to fight which he didn't and never. So in real life i would stay away from him because he want all my efforts and sacrifices but not ready to give his. It's tiring seriously. For me. He is a red flag.

7. Hospital scene- He just said that he wants to fulfil his mother's wish and take a break. Which made lufeng mad because wdym someone is sacrificing his everything and u want to breakup? Not even saying let's not see each other for time being or let things calm down. Not even saying that he can still be together after sometime. Breakup? Doesn't that mean that he is and will never choose lufeng and he is not in yichen's priority list?
U want all my sacrifices, afraid of heartbreak, want me to cut ties with my family and this is what it means? Ready to break up and not even trying to hold his ground? He could have said that fake marriage is for show but I will be coming back to u. But no nothing. Why would I even want to be with someone who gives nothing to remain in relationship? Red flag

8. Yichen using Zhou lan- ok i get it Zhou lan proposed him for marriage. But he did used her for coming out from situation. Instead of having clear fake thing. Or just show thing he actually married her. Even though they had understanding between them but still. Plus i am very much against the idea of using another innocent person in fake marriage. Also idk how this fake marriage works. This is the concept only in fiction...

9. Yichen's visit to lufeng after separation- why did he expect lufeng to not be angry? Why did he ever went to him? Because his mind is not a mess? Because no society is stopping him? Because now suddenly he remember that what he did is wrong and he is guilty? Why did he expect warmth from lufeng in first meet? In real life i would hate yichen type of person to the core. Expectations expectations expectations but the moment something happen just run away. He is a person who is going to first leave u when things don't go well. This kind of person takes irrational decision. He is not mature enough.

10. Yichen's jealousy- he was upset that lufeng was having soft spot for ke lo. And is bringing people in his house. Why? Lu feng is single and can do anything as long as other party is giving consent and yichen still expect deep down for lufeng to still have care and love for yichen? Why? Can't he also move on. What right does he have over lufeng to expect all these??? Again red flag.

At the core of their relationship has the issue that one loved too much to go through wind and fire to be with his love and one just run away as long as he sees fire. It's not just communication issue. It's a issue in how they stand emotionally in their relationship and who they are as a person.

That being said. I also hate lufeng. And he needs to go to jail because there is no redemption arc for rape. Period. Plus he needs a therapy to let go of his anger issues and obsession.

I don't see their happy ending. But understanding both lufeng and yichen's pov is not same as defending them.

I am trying to understand the characters that what make them took that decision and how things came to this point. And judging their actions. And understanding their stand. But it doesn't mean i side with them.

I atleast don't side with lufeng. Nor i side with yichen.

The idea that oh yichen is still ok and defendable please. He is such a bad lover that I wish him nothing but a single life ahead. I never want to be with the person who can't prioritise me atleast once in life.

Same feeling. Wanting it to end so that I can get free from this waiting game and not wanting to end because after this it will be very hard for me to watch another drama for sometime. I am already struggling to watch anything rn. Even though I have lots of drama in my watchlist. Not sure how and what i will feel after this drama will end.

To be able to constantly think about a drama and it's characters. Discuss their pov and stuffs ohhh it's been long.

What's more is that this drama is a very successful drama for me despite being the rating. Because to get hold of its viewers, to keep them engaged by anger, frustration, hatred...this comment section is s proof that drama was well made no matter what the plot and story is...i will give that to this drama.

The way ayden portrayed lu feng fear or distance from yichen in that one bowl of ramen was so emotional. The way he was just admiring yichen's face and his presence. The way he was wanting to speak something but can't because he was afraid he don't hold the position of anything in yichen's life and afraid he might leave or hurt him. He is just happy yichen being around yichen. This distance that the one u love is so close to u but yet so distant is killing him. He is learning to control his emotions and his actions. Not that he is not obsessive rn but he is trying to give time to yichen and wait for him. Ayden portrayed that feeling so well.

That being said idk how to wish their happy ending not with together. I truly want their happy ending but I just don't know if that can be possible.

Because I think if they come together yichen will still run and never choose lufeng once even slightest discomfort come. And lufeng will not let him go. Again that toxic cycle. Idk if that kind of ending can be classified as happy ending.

Trust me. I am tired because everytime u say something about lu feng. It has to come with a tag "oh! I don't defend his actions. I also hate what he did." whenever u are explaining or feeling lu feng emotions. Because tbh his actions are like that. But we do understand both lufeng and yichen's love and suffering. At this time I think i am the bad person to think about lufeng pov and his sufferings. Despite me hating him for his actions. You don't need to give this level of tag to understand and explain yichen pov because despite him being toxic it is getting ignored by lot. Because he is not that level of toxic like lu feng.

I feel like this series should have tag of " watch at ur own risk", "physiological thriller". And I also feel after this series ends i need to watch some cozy dramas complete green flag drama or rom com and at the same time reflect on myself because by reading comments i am feeling that understanding lufeng pov or his emotions means i am sick.

Let me tell you very honestly. I hate both lufeng and yichen and i don't want their happy ending. What i am saying is about lying part. He lied because he can't let go of yichen. Period.

About consent. I agree since this drama even exist. About rape i think yichen? No i am thinking as s human being. Rape is inhumane. No one should ever see a person who did this. That sight of rapist alone is enough to make one feel emotions worse than death.

Very truly said. That lufeng needs therapy. And yes shout out to the fact that this script does not handle sensitive topics like rape, imprisonment. Because there is no redemption of rape please. Even if lufeng goes to therapy I don't see him with yichen.

Idk if u have read novel. But despite these yichen still loved him and liked his presence. But this is drama and here also yichen liked and think about lufeng after this. Confirmation of adaptation of this feeling - when brother asked him to go. He thought of lufeng waiting face. That also is problematic for me because a sane person can't like someone after whatever happened in ep9.
So script is like that. That no matter what seperation, what atrocities and actions happened in ep9, whatever harm they did to each other and their family. It's the feeling of love that they can't let go. And so they need to be together which is problematic again.

Love doesn't give u right to do these things. Best case would be despite having feelings for each other from both sides after ep9 they still let it go and live their life just thinking about good times. Because they bring both good and demonic sides of each other. Better they stay away. Or almost friends. That's it.

God. This drama is too heavy for me. Despite the fact that I can watch toxic dramas.

Wow that's whole new pov I never thought this way. While i did thought that why yichen is asking? But i thought he is saying in a way " why? Can't i leave?" Meaning he do want to leave and is capable to taking decision without any thoughts of someone binding him. As an independent person who can take decision. I never thought in this way. But It make sense

Who said this?? Really there is someone who think like this? U know in my country law doesn't recognises that men can be raped and this is something I just hate. That lot of people are not aware of this fact. It's upsetting. I truly believe if there is no law how can one even come out with whatever happened to him. Unjust.

Lufeng hospital scene didn't made him victimise. Imo hospital scene during yichen coma was kind of lufeng saying I hurted u. That was intentional. I did those things because I was hurt. His first thought "are u ok" has that meaning like how when an acquaintance meets another after a long time. They ask this "how are u". But it can come from actual care or just s bluff . In this case, lufeng did has care but his anger was more powerful. He can't accept the fact that yichen let him go and lived his life with Zhou lan. He can't let go of his separation. And the fact that he was crying a lot in hospital but was saying that I will be with u forever and lifetime. I am waiting for fulfilling promise. It again confirmed that lufeng at any cost will never let go of yichen. Never. But what one can do? He needs to understand that yichen don't want lifetime anymore. Yichen was always the person who wanted to please everyone except taking stand for himself and their relationship. Now with all that happened in ep9 he understood that he has lost lufeng completely and he don't want to be with him. That's understandable after whatever lufeng did.

About brother lying part. Please here understand lufeng. Ik it's very wrong for him to hide this fact because they haven't met each other in years. But tell me honestly...there is one person whom u love so much u know hiding is wrong and lying is wrong but u also know that once truth comes out yichen will leave lu feng. And again the cycle of suffering and separation and trust me separation from ur love is torturing when u know letting go is not making his life easier. He is yearning him. Let me tell u are u forgetting the fact that in America lu feng suffered the most. He yearned for yichen. There was no one with him who truly loved him except his sister but yichen has his family during that time. Again in 5 years separation yichen chose his family and got out of situation but what about lu feng? He lost yichen again without any closure. He was still not able to let go of him. Even in near death situation of yichen, lu feng is just having one thought once yichen wake up they will be beside each other no matter love, hatred, together or not. They will be close to each other presence where lu feng can see yichen everyday. U see all actions of lufeng at one side( not ignoring or defending) but if u are constantly being apart from ur person and the risk u have identified..ig it's very in human nature to lie.
In this case i can't blame lu feng. No please i get his yearning. This much wait and separation is enough for one to go insane. I hope no one ever face this much torture in love by waiting, be together but still so distant, yearning and seperation. It makes my breath shake.

I think he did not call police because he can't as he didn't had phone. Otherwise he would have. He already had one time in hospital and one more time it was not hard.

About non consensual sex yes it was rape. But the moment he thought that he also missed him. That logic doesn't work with forgiveness and all it took him is just few deep kisses and lu feng calling his name with yearning to break all walls. After that when he saw camera if any further intimacy would have happened it was again rape. But thankfully lunfeng also was shocked and stopped.

In my def rape means when one of the party is saying no and other is forcing them. Whether have feelings or not. Confusion or not. No consent yes it's rape. So coming to ur ques was it called rape? Yes majority but it was not when yichen also gave himself to lufeng.

About stockholm syndrome. Idk. But in that moment no it was not stockholm syndrome. For a moment they truly were in a moment of passion.

He showed his whole body full of marks and bruises that he got from graping. He later also mentioned that "when did I ever became so merciful to let other see ur whole body" when yichen was in coma.

He surpassed the level of toxicity of fan xiao for me. Atleast fan xiao never hurted his closed ones or raped him. He worshipped you shulang. It just that he wanted to destroy him because of his belief that no one is good or bodhisattva but for fan xiao he was. Also he did let go of him at one point. He did repent a lot that he don't deserve to be with you shulang. You shulang deserves heaven and he hell. He acknowledged his mistakes.

For 2 nd point. Ig he did realised that what actions of his hurted yichen and i remember he did said that I was just acting out with boys. So he was aware of his consequences. But as per the novel, he was trying to portray why he did such atrocities. It was not a forgiveness attempt but "understand me I did because of this" attempt.

For 3rd point. As per novel. Yichen was with the man who controls him. But it has been stated very beautifully yichen's feelings towards lu feng. That deep down he did like the fact that lu feng gave him money to set up his coffee shop. He liked that lufeng was always waiting for him outside his shop no matter the sun or rain. Every single day he was there. Yichen did liked that they are walking side by side and lufeng dropping him to home. Yichen did liked that instant noodles bowl with lu feng. Yichen did loved that lu feng cared or showed worry when he was trying to do anything physical. He loved those attention. But he was scared also with whatever happened. He was scared of his touch and his before coma past. He did loved when during valentine day he showed gesture of love. That's why even when his brother was saying to leave with him. He was supposed to be happy but he wasn't because deep down he was not able to understand the feeling what is that thing which is stopping him to go with his brother. Why he felt sadness. Why he remembered lu feng and his daily wait over his shop. Why?? Why he was not wanting to leave him. Why he thinks that his life is not so bad rn.

I suggest u read novel for this particular thing. And the fact that drama also showed lu feng's image when his brother was asking him to leave and yichen's decision it confirms what has been written in novel was adapted the same in series in this part.

4. He wanted to tell. But his brother said that he would definitely won't go after lufeng which he did. He was embarrassed what his brother will think that he still loved lu feng even after this. Also part of him don't want to reveal truth about his torture because he wanted to protect lufeng. And that thought also embarrassed yichen.

7. Like u said some series are indeed hard to watch. Tbh i get u. Years ago I was in a situation where I have always been blackmailed, chased out for coming in the contact. Basically........... There why series dealing with this much torture unsettles me if not handled properly. Years ago I was deeply invested in someone who always gave me unclarity, one sided efforts from my side, not letting go nor clean break. On and off situation. Even to the point that my panic attacks and anti depression pills on the recommendation of doctor, years of nightmare was said that i am just doing drama for the sake of getting attention. I have been always lowered down because I wanted to put efforts in saving relationship. And this whole situation of yichen being toxic towards lu feng reminded me that. That's why I understand both yichen and lufeng their both love and pain.The past that I never want to remember. The feeling that make me feel disgusted by myself. So i understand it situation. Please take some time and watch on ur pace if it gets too heavy or leave it altogether. Sorry I got too emotional and said things that i have buried down in my heart that people have forgotten what I have ever go e through.

Aah. How I missed this lu feng who is showing him love. Handling yichen with care. It's like school days relationship era.

And one thing u might disagree with me here. Lu feng was not playing game. He was just soo scared to again loose yichen if his brother will come. He knew yichen will leave and he knew that yichen will never choose him. He knew that he will again not be able to take the pain of separation and yearning. Letting go of yichen is impossible for him. So it's not a game but he is trying to hide the truth so that he can buy one more day with yichen. He is protecting himself from pain. Was he selfish? Yes .

🤣🤣 lufeng was so happy that he forgot and honestly even i forgot that until the sec I saw ur comment. 🤣

Correct but gist is same. That I said in previous comment. Sadness and sickness made them age that much. So it's intentional with that makeup.

I can't disagree. 😅

Ig now that black flag era and the most hurtful things are gone. I can finally breathe and wait for the finale week. By that time i seriously need to heal myself by watching lovey dovey drama. This drama has ruined my emotional health by always making me confused whether to love them, hate them, want HE or BE.

I wouldn't say yichen didn't loved lufeng. More like he never spoke and took stand. And with all due respect please allow me to use the word "coward" for yichen because he is. Just want good relationship without doing anything. Never taking stand neveeer. Ne er choosing lufeng. I just hate him.

Fr 🤣