Bai Hehuai Lover

yeah I feel like this show kinda relies on cissexist ideas (i.e. women are """"weaker"""" than men) bc yunjae's mom is physically abusive and that's played for jokes and then minju's stalker is portrayed as the very real threat that he is bc he's willing to get physical and he's stronger than minju, but since minju can't overpower yunjae her harassment is treated as comedic even tho she assaulted him (and based on the preview for ep11 she's going to assault him again). gender roles are so ingrained in every society and people reallyyyyyyy need to move past that mentality if there's ever going to be any progress.

"yunjae rejects me every time I talk to him" so you do know that you're bulldozing over his boundaries???? you have your own stalker and you're (rightfully & understandably) mad that he won't respect your boundaries but then you refuse to respect the boundaries of someone you claim to care about????? yeah I'm so done with being nice about it, minju needs to get hit by a bus expeditiously 🙏

god. we literally see yunjae experience a fear response when his mom gets excited about the news of his getting accepted into corning and people STILL want to victim blame him for minju refusing to respect his boundaries bc he does his best to be cordial with her since that's the path of least resistance. y'all hate abuse survivors so much.

THE SCENE ON THE BRIDGE???? HELLO????????????????? this really is an undercover BL lmao

god why is minju so pressed to find "jihun" and talk to him????? jihun never liked you in the first place girl, it's not like you are friends

watched episode 7 bc subs were finally up and nishino telling minami what he likes about her 😭😭😭😭😭 please if the dysfunctional polycule actually becomes a proper 4 way relationship this will be the show of all time I want it so badlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

yeah I hope by the end we get some sort of explanation as to what causes the transformation bc it just feels super random

also damn why is no one mad at minhyuk for putting minju in the chat group? like he knows minju is into yunjae????? why did he give her an opportunity to spend more time with yunjae?????????

I hope this isn't the last we see of "jihun"! yoo junghoo is just too good in this role and the thought of 3 episodes without him is heartbreaking

minju just busting into jieun's apartment and not leaving when she saw there were guests........... defending jieun and yunjae on the internet isn't enough I NEED A 🔫

sort of? kita-kun is involved with minami, toko, and nishino. I'm a couple episodes behind so maybe things have shifted, but from the first six episodes, I'd say there's not that much romance and it's mostly minami-toko-nishino figuring out cohabitation since they don't like each other that much initially.

is2g people will bend over backwards to defend fictional abusers and act like you're crazy if you call out the abusive behavior but god forbid a male character is genuinely kind and trying his best, if he's not 100% perfect the same people are calling for a stoning. and those comments you bring up... crazy how people will straight up distort a situation and say the opposite is happening bc they want to victim blame so bad 😑

and agreed I am so PSYCHED for the new episode!!!! I think ep 9 is gonna be really angsty but then we will be rewarded with fluff in the remaining episodes. I can't wait <3

also I've just been thinking in general how crazy it is that ppl are blaming yunjae for minju not respecting his boundaries. (then again I shouldn't be surprised, victim blaming mentality runs rampant in society) could he be more forceful about it? I guess. but that's literally not his job. he has tried MULTIPLE TIMES to get minju to stop and she just straight up does not respect him and bulldozes those boundaries every chance she gets. if someone sets boundaries, it is the other person's job to respect them! this is why I haaaaaate all these ideas of "looking for secret messages" in romantic storylines bc like... no, follow what that person has communicated to you, mindreading doesn't exist in the real world! either you're right and it's their job to communicate more clearly or you are terribly misreading them bc wish fulfillment and harassing them. god, sorry, boundary violations just piss me off so much and this kind of stuff gets sooooo normalized in media and then people don't recognize it and [screams into a pillow]

literally I feel like I'm being gaslit by the comments on here lmfao. I'm addicted to this drama so I keep rewatching scenes but I actually rewatched the entirety of ep 6 last night and yunjae LITERALLY tried to set boundaries with minju and she refused to listen to him!! like yeah the character of minju is unfortunately a misogynistic stereotype but that's not yunjae's fault lmfao. I do think he's going to be more forceful in the upcoming episode tho bc I think it's pretty clear he's getting tired of minju and since jieun is feeling so lost and hopeless after learning this could change be permanent, narratively he needs to firmly choose her. (also I just think it's so funny that jieun is like "you were looking at her tenderly" bc every time yunjae is with minju he looks so unbelievably bored to me lmao)

omg was kita abused as a kid and that's why he just goes along with whatever anyone asks of him?? 😭😭😭 now his being so deeply kind is a gut punch too ughhhhh I adore this show so far

also there's the fact that yunjae's had minimal screentime the past 2 episodes bc ep 7 was more dedicated to making minju a more well-rounded character and ep 8 was more dedicated to jieun's family. so I think the fact that we saw less of him is also negatively affecting people's perceptions too

I mean imo this is the whole point of the show. he *is* trying -- showing jieun how to shave bc he was worried about her hurting herself, running over to minhyeok's place bc he was worried about jieun being hurt/taken advantage of, running after her and spending time together between his presentations in ep 4, finding her at the hospital when he's barely able to stay upright, trying to go on that date in ep 5 that minju crashed, the silly apology dance in ep 6, the other attempted date that his parents interrupted in ep 8. part of the problem is that external forces keep interrupting any time they try to have quality time together.

like, yes, as an audience member it's frustrating that he hasn't fully gotten over this hurdle yet and we all want him to be comfortable showing jieun physical intimacy while she's in her male form. but as someone who's been out as lesbian for just shy of a decade now, I know from experience how terrifying it is to face the realization that you're attracted to the same gender. of course he's taking a moment to process. the situation is unfair specifically because they are already in a relationship. a typical story of someone grappling w the realization that they are attracted to the same gender, they are sorting through their feelings *before* getting involved with someone of the same gender. while jieun is obv still a woman, there's the public perception of their dynamic (which is where yunjae gets the most tripped up imo) and this was an overnight change that he now has to adapt to.

and yes, I don't want anyone to misunderstand my sympathy towards yunjae as a lack of sympathy towards jieun. she's basically only been okay with this change in dynamic because she believed this was a temporary situation. while yunjae has been trying, he keeps unintentionally hurting her bc 1) his struggles with setting boundaries w minju and 2) his hangups on physical intimacy. that's why I said in another comment that things have to come to a head now with jieun learning that it might be permanent. yunjae has to fight for her while she's still in her male form to prove that he loves her no matter what form she takes. which I'm predicting is what episode 9 is going to be all about given the preview.

she seemed really confident and comfortable in their relationship until yuri gave her the condom and then she was really flustered. I think she hadn't really thought that much about her relationship w yunjae progressing to that stage and then bc yuri put the idea in her head, she panicked

wait I think I may have figured out what triggered jieun's transformation

probably thinking deeper than the writers, but deeply tired of people complaining about yunjae not setting stricter boundaries with minju when he has to constantly placate his mom to avoid being on the receiving end of her violence. of course he just rolls with the situation when other people are being pushy! that's how he's survived his home life for 20-something years! and he *HAS* repeatedly brought up that he's dating jieun; he has repeatedly verbally expressed disinterest in minju; every time minju initiates physical contact he has pulled away (or tried to since she's always all over him); also he has to see her most days because they work together in the same department, if he is more firm with setting boundaries and she gets upset about it, maybe that affects his academic career! and yes, he did stare at minju when she took off her jacket and was purposefully putting on a show for him and yes I found it disappointing too, esp since jieun was right there, but noticing someone is attractive is not cheating oh my god!!!! y'all want to stone him for thought crime. get a grip!!