Reviews

[Director's Cut]

So many twists and turns, it's like the filmmakers watched MEMENTO and dialed it up to 11. I hear that maybe I shouldn't have watched that version first from some, but what's done is done.

How dare anyone try to murder Kim Seol-hyun though? That I can't forgive!
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Stunts - 80/100 | Surprisingly good stunts here, and quite a large number of them too.

Narrative - 70/100 | Terrific performance by lead actor Sol Kyung-gu, impressive from start to finish. Really that's one hell of a show he gave in this movie, by far the best part about it, in fact. The rest of the movie was a bit too convoluted for my tastes, especially the ending which introduces a few problems. Unreliable narrators can be a great tool but sometimes they're kind of annoying.

Fight Choreography - 70/100 | Not much typical choreography going on but the final fight is lengthy and brutal, somehow. Good action directing and stunt work, although this is far from an action movie so don't expect Hong Kong choreography here, it's just fighting for survival.

Enjoyment - 68/100 | There's grim and there's this. This movie is like an endless pit of despair. Goes a tad too long.

But South Korean thrillers are always a good choice because they frankly know how it's done.

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Incredible example of contradictory filmmaking

I actually think there is A LOT to talk about with this movie, and that is… concerning. Concerning because with a title like this, you'd expect something straightforward. Also concerning because I feel like the original intent was to portray this whole plastic surgery situation in South Korea and Kpop superficialism with… an introspective inclination, perhaps? But along the way, the purpose got completely lost.

Never thought I'd sit down to write a 1000+ words essay after watching a cheesy Romcom like this, but here we are.

The conflicting/mixed messaging in this movie is a real sight to see. Wonderfully contradictory. It's just bonkers, and I love contradictory filmmaking! Well, actually, I didn't love this movie. But I loved how contradictory it is with its own self. I don't regret watching this for one second because it's so captivating how tone-deaf the whole ordeal is! It's hard to put a rating on this because I really enjoyed it for those reasons, but let's be honest here, it's not well made.

Let me try to summarize this.

According to this movie, being ugly is bad, being pretty is good, but it's bad if your good looks are fake, although looking good ultimately is a good thing even if it's bad that it's fake, because feeling good about yourself is good even if it's bad that you weren't good-looking before, which is why you wanted to look good in the first place.

And you have to accept that about yourself… I think?

Some horrible messaging in this movie (I may have missed a few):
- Being fat means being clumsy and ugly and worthless, even if you're talented
- If you're fat, tough luck. Kill yourself or get plastic surgery/find a way to get pretty, those are your only options for a better life
- You need to be good-looking to feel good about yourself
- You need to be good-looking to have any form of success
- You don't deserve the person you are infatuated with, even if they like you in return, unless you're good-looking which then becomes acceptable

Interesting messaging in this movie:
- You should accept your flaws as they're a part of you (contradicts above, more on that below)
- You should strive to be better and work on yourself
- You should be more assertive with others concerning your well-being
- Being a good person at heart matters (see the dad resolution)
- Knowing what you want and working to get there pays off
- Having actual talent pays off, being a talentless hack doesn't, even if you're pretty (also contradicts above)

So in light of this, it's funny how this movie clamors for so many things that are in direct contradiction with each other:
- She definitely has a better life now that she's pretty. It fixed most problems in her life, but at the same time, she looks at what she left behind and sees what being herself before brought her. But she was so explicitly and unequivocally miserable. Which one is it, movie?
- Her love interest says to his henchman at the end that they're all assholes for refusing to see Hanna for who she was all along. Wonderful right? Except it's a classic case of do as I say, not as I do. He only cares about her post-surgery, and while he wasn't hostile to her or anything before, he was still only using her and that's it.
- To continue on that, the movie makes a point of saying that who Hanna is inside is what matters (but only now that she's gorgeous, like shown above), then we see her "ugly" best friend lining up for head-to-toe surgery after she's seen what it did for her friend's life. It's shown as a good thing as she's finally fixing up her life. LMAO that's so tone-deaf. Incredible!
- Being fat sucks so much it ruins your life and you should kill yourself. But you should also accept that about yourself… What the hell
- The movie tries to show that talent trumps good looks, as Ammy fails because she's a talentless hack while Hanna succeeds because she's a good singer, but in the process of doing so makes being pretty a requisite of success as she failed earlier because she was ugly… which contradicts its own message as it's not just about talent. Moreover, Ammy doesn't really, actually "fail", she's simply not as successful as Hanna in the end. She still had her moment in the sun, for a talentless hack that's a far cry from failure. And I do mean talentless, even after years of practice her voice still sounds like a broken accordion.

A few positives I noticed
- Kim Ah-joong was actually quite good in the lead and gave a great, funny, varied, and expressive performance. Definitely not cast only because of her looks (ironically).
- Lots of hilarious comedy moments, the morality of them notwithstanding. There's some good fish out of water moments after she gets her surgery, in a "oh you sweet summer child" manner.
- The song "Ave Maria" (actually sang by the lead) is hella, hella catchy

A few negatives
- Script was uneven and by the end nothing makes sense
- Obviously, the epic mixed messaging
- The fat jokes are really, really unfunny
- The fat suit looked like shit
- Too much melodrama
- Main romance sucked

On the subject of the main romance, how can she have a crush on the guy even after she hears him say he's only using her because she sings well and that they have to tolerate her? He literally says that, she hears him say it, and yet she still has a huge crush on him as if nothing happened? Wow. When that happened I thought "oh so she's going to fall for some other guy when she's pretty right?" Love triangle or something? Nope. I guess then that she pursues him only because he's good-looking? I can live with that, it would further reinforce the overall irony of this movie. No matter what he does for her at the end, he's still a prick who was using her when she was fat and only came around because she's hot now.

And finally, in the most insane of ironies (add it to the pile), as if this movie's conflicted messaging couldn't get any more blurred, lead actress and singer Kim Ah-joong has had multiple, expensive plastic surgery done on herself. I'm not judging her for it, but it's so ironic in the context of this movie… You can't write this shit up! Or apparently you can?

Recommended because it's just a fascinating watch.

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Romantic Demolition

Well that was a rollercoaster.

So first of all this movie certifies without a doubt that Jun Ji-hyun's hair is gorgeous and has virtually no equal. It has to be seen to be believed.

As for the story, well it would be hard to pinpoint the genre exactly. It seems to me like this movie tries to balance many different tones, tones that would make the sum of it something resembling a Romance/Drama/Comedy/Action movie (in order of importance according to yours truly).

And I loved that about it. It's not afraid to drastically change tone, and it does so to great effect. The movie does veer into excessive melodrama at one point but apart from that, it's wonderfully executed and the drama packs a wallop. Killer score. The central relationship works really well too.

Needless to say that Jun Ji-hyun knocks it out of the park as is tradition.

Credits to Tim on letterboxd for this expression, but it's indeed a worthy addition to the "Romantic Demolition" genre. Some whiplash to be expected.

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What kind of future was I dreaming of?

Director Koreeda Hirokazu challenges three generations of the same family to live in the moment regardless of where they thought they would be or where they want to be in life in After the Storm. A typhoon draws the family members together and forces them to face the illusions they've created and the things they've given up.

Shinoda Ryota (Abe Hiroshi) is the divorced son spiraling down the drain. Only valuing his family after losing them, he works at a detective agency to spy on them. Early success as a writer has now crippled his creative desire and confidence leading him to spend too much time at the racetrack which leads him to sponging off of others.

Shinoda Yoshiko (Kiki Kirin) is the recently widowed mother who instead of mourning is feeling freed from her former convention, even taking a classical music class. This gentle matriarch is the touchstone for truth who connects the characters.

During Typhoon 24, Ryota, his mother, his son, and his ex-wife Kyoko are stuck in Yoshiko's small apartment. During this time excuses and damaging filters are slowly washed away. Yoshiko pointedly talks with her son, "I wonder why it is men can't love the present. Either they keep chasing whatever it is they lost. Or they keep dreaming beyond their reach." Ryota has been hanging on to his ex-wife and the family life he thought he had but never lived, his father's legacy of disappointment, and his writing. He's always looking for the next big deal whether through gambling or some other illicit way instead of working consistently and facing his fears. For his mother life is simple, it is to be lived and enjoyed wherever you are. Ryota begins to shake off the past and realize a relationship with his son is worth fighting for in the present.

Abe Hiroshi had the difficult job of making Ryota at least somewhat sympathetic, not an easy thing to do for a character who is always looking to others for money. Kiki Kirin was the revelation in this film as she gave a splendid performance as the mother who loves her imperfect children, always hoped to be out of the apartment complex she's lived in for 40 years and tries to help her family find their place in the world with the time she has left. Of all the performances, hers is the one I'll remember and the one which touched my heart.

After the Storm is a slow-paced look at characters, especially Ryota as he glacially evolves from the wretched self-centered man who only wants what he can't have to someone who catches a glimmer of what can be. He could be frustrating to watch as he chose the easy way out at a cost to others. Yoshiko's compassion and honesty helped to balance out the emotional weights of the film.

For all of the adults, life hasn't turned out the way they planned. Life rarely does. But wherever we are that is where life is and we are called to live it in the present moment. Ryota finally states, "I haven't become what I want to be---yet." While there is time there is opportunity to become who and what we yearn to be. "So long to myself from yesterday."


10/12/22

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This one freaking hurts!

I didn’t know much about this movie (nor did I want to know) before starting, so I was very very confused initially and really didn’t think I was going to like it. I ended up crying so hard that it gave me an absolute monster of a headache later in the day. This movie is absolutely incredible, and I think it should be watched without much context in order to make the twists and turns more surprising and make the movie an overall more enjoyable ride. I 100% absolutely recommend this, and I can never say this enough. I genuinely don’t have any words to describe how much of a mess this movie left me in (in a wonderful but very sad way ahah)

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Like watching through a window

My one and only problem with this film: I don't feel like I know the characters.

The premise is great. And it was portrayed very realistically. Nothing feels overdone or excessive. I can easily see why this film has been used in classrooms as social commentary material. And there are small details that made for a compelling story that is quite memorable. But I don't feel like I know who the characters are. I don't know their motivations. I don't know the source of their concerns. Instead, we see the plot unfolding - but without access to the "whys" and even a couple "whats."

But when all is said and done, many details were mastered. And I found myself going back to watch all of the characters' reactions. Of course, part of this might have been because of the lack of character focus, but the fact that there were details there that appeared to have meaning upon a rewatch, as well as the remaining urge to do so upon completing the film in the first place, is worth some credit.

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Instead of drawing inspiration from Hong Kong like in the previous installments, they went on to make an actual Hong Kong movie this time.

But with barely any of what makes them great.

Also, where’s Zhang Ziyi?

Not that I dislike Shu Qi but that’s not what I was promised at the end of the last one!
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Stunts - 81/100

Narrative - 51/100 | Lesson number 1 when making a Hong Kong Triad movie: length should be 90 minutes, not 120 minutes, unless there’s an interesting dynamic going on like in the previous movies. This sequel was excruciatingly boring because it’s half an hour too long. And the absence of Shin Eun-kyung severely hamstrings this movie. Clearly, she was the central pillar that made this whole thing work, at least for me.

Fight Choreography - 78/100 | Steady camera with exciting athleticism always gets a thumbs up from me on the fighting front. Shu Qi is obviously doubled but they did a good job with it. Minus points right there because of the huge missed opportunity of having Ken Lo be the final boss in your movie and not have him throw a single kick. -sigh- It is our lot in life as Ken Lo fans to suffer, is it not? He always plays overconfident mob bosses so why the hell don’t they make him back up that confidence? He certainly can. Oh well, enough ranting about that…

Enjoyment - 42/100 | Hold that thought, still got one more in stock. The translator was so annoying, I couldn’t figure out whether she was a comic relief character or one you’re supposed to root for... or totally hate? I’m lost on this one.

I’m all for their attempt to make a girl empowerment movie but it just falls flat on its head. Stick with the previous entries in my opinion, you get a fully-developed character that’s much more interesting. And a better story. And better comedy. Better everything.

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At some point it cuts randomly to a small motorized fish with a mic singing -- I WILL SURVIVE -- and I was just stuck watching the screen in utter disbelief that this thing actually exists, flapping its tail and whatnot.

And then it gets even better. I never thought in my life that I’d ever watch a South Korean movie ending on a Zhang Ziyi cameo flying around Crouching Tiger-style and fighting to the tune of—yes you guessed it—I WILL SURVIVE

Oh my god, YES

Kick-ass movie! And kinda trash at the same time.
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Stunts - 80/100 | When the guy drops Eun-jin at the beginning I physically cringed, especially since I fell this way once and had a concussion from it. It’s like a short blink and you’ll miss it stunt that nobody probably remembers, but it was the most impactful for me lmao

Narrative - 72/100 | What I like most about this movie is just how much the character of Eun-jin grows. There’s a deplorable attempted rape scene in this movie (played for laughs…) but apart from that I was engaged throughout. Might not be everyone’s cup of tea since nothing happens for a while with the plot but I thought it was an interesting character-driven story carried big time by Shin Eun-kyung’s central performance in her role of Eun-jin. Wonderful range of expressions, demeanor, and body language on this one. Oh and a very physical performance too.

Fight Choreography - 81/100 | Haven’t seen the third one yet but the fights in this sequel are a definite step up. I really liked how they just went all in on the wires and crazy stuff, I dunno I thought it fit pretty well with how the character is basically a legendary figure at this point. It was filmed and put together a lot better.

Enjoyment - 82/100 | You can feel the Hong Kong influences here, they’re everywhere, but with this lovely touch of South Korean out-of-place comedy that I very much appreciate as well. I love amnesia-fueled stories. It just brings so much to the table sometimes, as evidenced by how much I enjoyed this, however nonsensical it was at times.

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Female crime boss wants to get married to uphold a promise, cue the confusion as she orders her men to search for a viable candidate.

Blend in the famous Hong Kong Triad power struggles/dynamics with South Korea’s perpetual game of Genre Musical Chair and you get this, whatever this is. I liked it!
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Stunts - 83/100 | Somebody high up in the creative team is a fan of Hong Kong movies. They even included the staple humorous sidekick that we all love to hate (more like hate tbh)

Narrative - 68/100 | (Melo)Drama, Crime, Action, Comedy all merge together to form a weirdly functioning mess.

Fight Choreography - 68/100 | Only part that I wished they had studied better in their efforts to replicate fights from the best school of action cinema. Still, there was an attempt here, with a brutal end fight sequence that was pretty decent. Performers had it in them I think but the editing… bleh. It really was all over the place and the fights were hard to follow, which is the opposite of what you’d want. I liked the wire bits though.

Enjoyment - 79/100 | I was surprised by how much depth the main character had. It was really fun to see her struggle with basic life stuff and yet, be so respected and feared by her peers. Funny and yet intense central performance by Shin Eun-kyung. She’s a stone-cold certified badass.

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After this and You Are My Pet, I must say, Kim Ha-neul's sexy poster pose game is on point. Then later, someone will change the posters for absolutely no reason and this review will age like milk. Oh well. Anyway, that's an incredibly photogenic person right there.

>> "When exposed to room temperature, the vaccine turns into a mutative virus. Within 6 minutes, it will modify all living beings in the country and kill them."

Okay I have no idea who wrote that shit but I am VERY pleased at the mess it results into. Definitely my drift.

Except it’s not even that much of a mess, this movie’s actually pretty good and hella entertaining.

Well... for an action movie anyway.

But the action’s terrible.

So, it’s a good action movie with shitty action.

What?!
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Stunts - 72/100

Narrative - 69/100 | It’s South Korea’s Mr. And Ms. Smith. The plot, attention to clever details, and characters kinda make this work.

Fight Choreography - 47/100 | You can clearly see that the villain’s got some moves but they over-edited everything to death in this movie. Like I said, shitty action. But daring stunts, somewhat.

Enjoyment - 75/100 | Some parts of this movie are in “so bad it’s good” territory but the thing is, other parts are genuinely good. I’m a bit confused. I like how the main bad guy is a Russian woman who speaks Russian to South Koreans all the time and doesn’t give a damn that nearly nobody understands.

I should mention that this aligned pretty well with my (sometimes shitty) tastes. I just thought the sense-to-nonsense ratio in this film was quite on target (as if it was in any way measurable… 👀)

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I like how this movie breaks narrative conventions but that doesn't make the story interesting. It's like it was directed and put together by 2 different persons, with the cut-off point being somewhere in the middle.
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Stunts - 69/100

Narrative - 48/100 | It’s way too silly at the beginning. The tonal shifts in this movie and weird editing in the beginning are quite jarring, whether they’re intended or not. It seems nobody stopped at some point to ask themselves the question “wait, what are we going for again?”

Fight Choreography - 77/100 | This is basically sword-fighting ballet. If I got this right, they meet and engage in metaphorical sex through duels? Except yelling at each other there doesn’t seem to be anything of substance to their relationship. Eventually becomes excessive slow-mo melodrama for no reason, but it looks damn good.

Enjoyment - 52/100 | The mise en scène in this movie is quite something, and so is the cinematography. Great-looking movie, that’s for sure. But I’m not sure I got the message, if there was any to begin with, except the usual “love is not something you can control”. And I’ve always preferred plot and characters (basically, writing) over visuals.

If you liked Wong Kar-Wai’s The Grandmaster, give this movie a try. It’s basically a more messed-up and less coherent version of it.

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Today I watched a movie named You Are My Pet, the story of a man who becomes a woman's pet dog after she finds him in a box outside her home, but he's also a dance choreography master and does... ????? during the day.

Today was a strange day.

Guy looks bit too feminine I thought.

He tells her that, as his master, she can have him do anything, anywhere she pleases (she also confesses that she's lonely), and somehow this movie doesn't involve any kinks whatsoever for the whole runtime. Nothing, not even a small something? Criminal!

Some legitimately funny scenes and a pleasant dynamic between the duo almost salvage an ultimately cringy movie about a love triangle the kind of which we've seen everywhere that's also 20 minutes too long. Random but it was interesting to me how the woman was 10 years older than the man here. And it doesn't play into the plot at all. That's not something you see often, at least not in Western movies.

It's just so absurd for a premise that I just had to watch it.

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Oh hey she's undercover as a nun!

…

> Mission: Operation Nun Sense

xD my sides

Quirky and effective South Korean comedy that I found way better than it had every right to be, thanks to the charming performance of lead Kim Seon-a and some surprisingly good action sequences for a movie in that genre.
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Stunts - 71/100

Narrative - 72/100 | It helps that I have a special (and biased) fondness for pretty much everything that happens in this movie: quirky lead performance, awkward high school setting, undercover high school setting, "forbidden" romantic undertones, good fight sequences…

Fight Choreography - 79/100 | You know, I wasn't expecting good fight scenes in a movie like this. The lead could certainly act the part of someone who could fight. Not too many cuts, decent stunts, good choreography, good flow… Some hits could have hit harder but thumbs up!

Enjoyment - 80/100 | I was never bored, not a single second throughout, and that says a lot since it's a 2 hour comedy movie (which usually bore me at some point). As usual with South Korean movies, expect some tonal whiplash near the end. However, I appreciated the melodramatic turn at the end, I thought it fit the moment and wasn't out of place.

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South Korea's Charlie's Angels

Okay don’t go in expecting a masterpiece, this is basically South Korea’s Charlies’ Angels… if they had yo-yo’s and stressball grenades. And if it was set in the 19th century. And starring a real-life kpop diva.

But for what it’s worth, I enjoyed this. It’s cheesy as hell but when you have 3 charming girls like this kicking ass flying on wires and swinging metal yo-yo’s around the place while delivering heavy-handed dialogue, I’m in awe as to how exactly a movie like this got made.
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Stunts - 58/100 | Lots of cutting around to hide the CGI and stunts of average quality.

Narrative - 65/100 | Okay I may be getting a little generous on this one. But I didn’t mind the cheesy storyline so yeah. 65 it is. I liked the gender-reversed situation at play here, with the rescue operation.

Fight Choreography - 64/100 | They’re using yo-yo’s to seriously hurt people. And swinging around like Spider-Man.

Enjoyment - 74/100 | I think this movie establishes really well that the lead Ha Ji-won is incredibly photogenic, that much is certain.

It was an energetic and fun movie with lots of silly moments and a trio who are basically the three female musketeers and I liked it. The main theme, which starts every time the three girls get into a fight, is also exactly as corny as you would imagine from the poster.

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