YingYang 05

This is one of those dramas that I started, watched half of first episode... then I thought: how stupid is this? got off and never came back....

LOL! yes, way too long... also, online I read mostly scientific articles and similar stuff... much shorter... For the literature I perfer actual books... I will stick to donghua and will definitelly check out the drama when it lands... let's hope for not too many delays...

Ye, who has s@x in donghua or Cdrama world - withouth being drunk or drugged?? Almost nobody... Like making out being fully conscious and aware is a taboo... LOL!

Animated Han Li reminds me of Xiao Zhan...

I've watched donghua and I liked it, so hope this will be good, too. Actually, to me an animated version of Han Li looks very much like Xiao Zhan, I felt like his looks were the inspiration for him. But, ye, I'll take Yang Yang withouth complaining as he is one of my favourite chinese actors. Something to look forward!
Donghua has actually quite some hints of romance, there are always some women swirling arround ML... this was even first donghua I came across in which ML had intercours with a woman, you hardly see that in the cultivation stuff. Let ourselves be surprised...

Being lazy, playfull and unambitious is crucial part of her character at the beggining and her biggest growth in this drama is when she finnally realises she and her love will end up in different worlds if she doesn't change. She even goes back home and doesn't touch piano at all... until she reaslises that she's got a talent big enough to follow him into the big world of professionals... She initially wanted only to be a kindergarden teacher and play happy music for kids.. Big leap from that to being fully fledged pianist... I like her change from ML's glued on follower to self aware person and musician...

You are right to some extent, too. But fans should rather live their own life instead of loosing the boudary between reality and their fantasy about the person whom they even don't really know. It's toxic and sad.

I think, the best I could do for my husband is that I ended the relationship with him... Until he was fed by me, he just stood there in his life and moved nowhere. Now he crashed down as his supply is gone and he had a sort of waking up... thou he is actually unable to comprehend the dynamic of our relationship and his role in it's instigation. The biggest problem with narcissist is that he thinks he has no problem and all other people are responsible for his discomfort... If one thinks he has no problem - why change?
I must say it's refreshing to run into someone who had similar touch down and is able to analyse own emotions. I beleive there are thousants of people who are actualy in toxic relationships but never nor realise it nor are able to save themself...
Thank you for sharing and being emphatic. Feels so good!

Sad truth is that for longest time I even didn't have an idea what is the cause of our hellish swinging up and down. That's why they cal it covert... it hides so well behind acting all inocent and weak... and the mirror of such person gives you such strong feelings - but they are not his, but yours... you feed your own overflowing feelings to this person and beleive you are gettin something back... It was the funniest realisation that all that time I was actually in love with - myself...!? Ofcourse, an empath can't keep it up feeding forever... that is where ugly part starts. Because to narcissist it actually doesn't matter if you feed him with good or bad emotions - as long as he gets your attention and your energy. When you get tired of not getting any real love back - ye, he will irritate you until you are giving anger, humiliation, feeling depresed and of no worth - it is as good as any other emotion to fill the emptyness of narcissistic soul... As long as it gives him a power over you, that one is satisfied...

It's a pattern... it's routine that goes on like a train on the rails, always the same way with same aim...
I had firstly to stop feeling guilty and responsible for his moods. Then I had to just walk away every time he iniciated the process of draining my energy. Then I had to learn to love myself. Respect myself. I'm still in process of healing but I'm out of dark already and it feels great.
Yes, 20 years of my life is gone, but I have three great kids which we managed somehow to rise well. I hope so. If we did them wrong it will show when they have their own love life.
He didn't give them genuine emotions but gave them a lot of time and care. He was better father than husband, at least that.
I try to unwind my own role in all this, too. I realised that I was replaying my childhood as my mother was covert narcissist, too. When I look back, evertything is soo logical that is mind boggling... Even if I wanted, I couldn't pick another kind of man??? If I will ever tangle myself into another relationship with man - will I be able to have more healthy and satisfactory one?
We talk about this too little, too much of it is tolerated and glorified, even called love - when - actually - is a toxic relationship of two deeply hurt people.
I don't remember any drama which would postively tackle such relationhips, thou a lot of them have similar characters who can be identified as narcissistic or have other mental problems. From parents to lovers. Sometimes I feel like half of characters in dramas need an urgent psychiatrical treatment... There are some with kind of such content It's OK not to be OK, Kill me heal me,
It's Okay, that's Love, they are all Kdramas.
I suppose such serious drama would be hard slice of life style because devil is in everyday detail that devours one's heart. I wonder if anyone has a currage to make it and testify about true torture of the soul... which is called love... but it's really not love at all....

I must say I was impressed with your comment! Excelent! Seriously, I think you should writte a book about your experiance because you are really good at writting. And you have a story to tell!
I relate to your description of love with a person who has personality disorder. Only, mine was not so extreme but it was devastating anyway.
When I started to anylize this crazy love type I made a concusion that more the person is on the edge, more intense the feelings are. As on good side as on bad side. An both partners complete themselves in their roles... one is almost always an empath, for-giving party, the other is or narcissist or has some other disorder. My parner of 20 years is covert narcisist and it has many similarities to what you describe. First of all mood swings, anger outbursts which are denied and a need to deminish other person to put them down. When you doubt your own sanity - yes, that is a pinacle of manipulation. Which is speciality of covert narcissists. Sucking your energy by criticism and never ending war to prove who is stronger. I'm not a soft cookie either, so this war was ongoing for a long time until I said: I have enough. Until everything extatic and beautiful between us died. The saddest death of love, if there even ever was a true love... I came to beleive that one can't talk about love if there is intentional or subconscious need to emotionally hurt your loved one.
I don't want ever to have such relationship again. It's a soul killer. And is actually not love but codependance in a viscious circle of heaven and hell.
I started this drama years ago and didn't finish it, probably I found it absurd... I'm considering if I should may be try again. Your comment made me wonder if it could be educative in some way...

Ye, I haven't watched much from him since Oh my General. I liked that one but his later dramas didn't impress me. He has some pending ones, I hope they are good.

Because he suspects she is faking, there is no real damage done. Let's wait untill she really falls for him... She will love him, won't she, by then she is a done cookie...

I think Dilraba is doing good job here, her exageration in flirting actually fits the fact that she is faking it. She knows, he knows... we know... for me it adds some spiciness to developement of the story... it's sooo funny to watch ML playing it shy.... LOL!

I think he is not only one of most handsome young actors but also one of most talented in acting. All he needs to get more recognition is a good role in a good drama. Wishing him the best!

We have a saying: "Silent water erodes the river banks"... I think ML here is that kind of person: knows what he is doing and how to do it... but doesn't put on the peacock's feathers while doing it... If ML is steady and calm, FL has enough of livelines to make it fun. For now I like it more than I expected.

In My Uncanny Destiny his character and princess have got one of the funniest and sweetest love stories out there! I was laughing out loud, they were so good!

As an European let me add my take on gege/meimei... Honestly, specially when I started watching asian production - it was very confusing. Adding in mix unaccurate engsubs it gets even worse.
I still don't understand why is such a taboo to call person by it's name, I probably never will because in my culture name is to be used and not to be hidden, that's who I am, that's why I got a name - to be called by it and be identified as person...
Only human that I call sister is my blood sister and nobody else in the world. And I never called any man brother as I don't have one by blood.
Calling someone gege/meimei even when they are your love interest - that boggles my mind and before story unfolds, I often wonder - do we have incest here or they are not blood related? I know, it's culture, but still - it's hard to make sense of it...

It was ineteresting to read your conversation as I often think about this matter when I watch asian dramas.
Marriage, dating, age gaps etc... everything is very culture dependand and so are our judgements and choices. It can be said that every head has own ideas... There is no need to judge anybody because life happens and there are many variations on it.
I agree that we are very prone to follow certain patterns that are inflicted on us by family or society but I think that the last say in love is on hormones, who pull us to a person no matter what are other influences... If you are in love, not much else matters...
My husband is 5 years younger than me, but we met in our thirties, while my friend started to date her husband when she was 16 and he was 19, After 28 years they are still hapilly together and even have grandchildren already... So... every case is actually special as every life is an unique web... wishing you a good one!
So, you really can't measure life by statistic but it would be great if we would measure it with love.

It's good whoever she ends up with, as long as they are alive... killing them all used to been a well loved ending in Cdramas, I haven't yet forgotten that...

That's nice news to hear, there are so few who ever recover... wishing him a prosperous life in the future.