If this drama keeps going like it's going - I will honestly remove every single drama from my favs list, and only keep this one. It has set the benchmark. I've been keeping up to date with the translated novel - and man, please keep those kissing scenes! Please? :D
.... I'd like to add about the extra phenomenon which links nicely to this - rape fantasies. It's the second most…
The term "rape fantasy" is widely used, I did not come up with that expression myself. Read at least 5 articles by psychologists on it before I commented, and they use the term "rape fantasy" too, so maybe I should have words with them (joke.) You can use "surrender" fantasy if you wish, makes little bearing to me.
....
I'd like to add about the extra phenomenon which links nicely to this - rape fantasies. It's the second most common fantasy for women apparently. Being "raped" absolves the woman of all guilt and responsibility- they don't have to feel guilty about their own sexual desires and healthy interest in the bedroom arena - because societally women have been repressed and they have no other way of expressing their urges without looking like a "slut" (Elsa has it bang on.) This is where the term "bodice-rippers" comes from, and a popular segment in historical fiction - a whole genre focused on the women's corset being ripped away from her, and being "forced upon."
Slap/Kiss is popular because it panders to women who have rape fantasies, but the actual woman in the drama is not living a rape fantasy...she is usually seen kicking and crying and distressed. So for audience satisfaction this genre has been born, because in those societies healthy sexual urges cannot be shown, without the woman being seriously labelled. What does it say about the society that watches it? Quite a lot! :D
I read some depraved shit. I don't mind watching it either.
However, I have this fictional "line." Whenever I am watching media, I question myself: Is the abuse being glamorised? Romanticized? Being seen through "rose-tinted" glasses? Slap/Kiss definitely does all three. Why? Mainly, because they portray happily ever afters (like you said.) This phenomenon can't die soon enough imo.
My first chinese drama. Love it. Andy the audi, is awesome^^ So much product placement...hooked from ep 1. Reminds me the format of american crime series, so unless there's a major cock-up, this should be awesome^^
I'm really liking this but it's really nothing like the original story.
But he does change! A person with Autism (which I'm convinced he doesn't have - if he does, it's not portrayed very well) - has a neurodevelopmental disorder with no known cure. It can be managed - but doesn't ever vanish. The main reason why I'm convinced Naoki doesn't have autism, and is mean for the hell of it - is because when they get married? He's a pretty swell husband.
You don't see any signs of his autism being managed, or him reverting back to exactly how he was before. Also his meanness is more or less directed at one person - he isn't the same level of mean to anyone else. And I'm pretty sure autism doesn't have an on/off switch button - if the writer wanted to to portray an autistic character I would have liked more research and an active display of management techniques. And if Naoki was not diagnosed - then I'm even more surprised he is able to be a different character altogether after getting married, because it would be virtually unheard of. Maybe he had mild autism? Even then, I would expect it to continue till death and not just disappear. Basically more research needed all round. (And I agree with you - there needs to be a National Awareness Month!)
You raise a good point in your 2nd paragraph. Does it make me happy? No. But I s'ppose it's all in relation. If a doctor went home and knocked six rounds out of his wife, and she lay dying on the floor as he tried to save her, she might think more of his motivations and not be as happy he's saving her. But if the next day, he saved a stranger on the operating table, that stranger would be very happy and wouldn't care about his motivation. I'm not going to be a hypocrite - if that stranger on the operating table was me, I would be that person that wouldn't care less about motivation. It's human nature. We are all egocentric at a certain level. Do I still think it's an appalling message to be packed in a romance drama geared at young girls? Yes. Might be more interesting themes to be used in a drama, which doesn't idealize or romanticize the notion - a drama that shows repercussions as well as the rewards. They are out there, and they are the best ones! :)
I'm really liking this but it's really nothing like the original story.
Well yes. Everybody deserves to be treated like a queen. If you aren't, let the guy know his behavior is unacceptable and maybe he can work on that. That's the main thing. If she had done that, especially in the beginning where it mattered - I wouldn't have called her a doormat. I would applaud her. Since you're putting words into my mouth, should I put some in yours? "But based on what you're saying...(that's the line you used)...it's okay to be in a mean relationship if it's a high-achieving one professionally or academically. I'm not saying she should stay dumb. She should study for reasons that belong to her ALONE, rather than insisting on becoming a nurse just because her future husband is gonna be a doc. That is such a selfish reason. You want to become a nurse, because you wanna help people ONLY. Not for the money. Not because your friend is doing it. Not because your hubby is gonna be in the next ward. People's lives are at stake here and if I was appalled watching it at 14, then it must've been an appalling message..
I'm really liking this but it's really nothing like the original story.
Sorry the above comment is mine. Something went wrong, my user name isn't showing up. Also I admit he's guiding her in his own way - but what I've been saying from the very beginning is vulnerable people don't need to be degraded or humiliated as part of that "guidance."
I'm really liking this but it's really nothing like the original story.
I don't get your first question. She lacks self-esteem, because she links her worth directly to a guy. A person with healthy self-esteem, will view them-self as a separate entity and when they enter a relationship, should bring their own interests and thoughts, instead of changing them to revolve around another person's interests and thoughts. That is harmful pathological behavior, because it makes you less likely to go against them if they're doing something wrong. And which is why I use words like doormat etc etc....
I admit, by the end, they are quite a couple - but it's a fairytale ending. In the real world, characters should build their own self-esteem, not rely on someone else to do it. What if that person ups and leaves? You should never be that dependent on anybody, unless you're fragile and it can't be helped (in that case, you have no business being in a romance at all.) In fiction, it makes love intense and shit, but I'm quite the cynical realist, and I know exactly how fiction glamorizes and romanticizes some terrible behavior - by saying "it's all right, he becomes a better man by the end, because she stuck by him and believed in him"
I heard in Noble, my love he is possessively mean, and forbids the lead female from being around other guys/from…
...I don't know if I can trust your fangirling, Ceki :) I mean you clearly stated you were drawn to him for his looks, but feel his acting's getting there....so you might be pushing this drama because your bias is there. I'm trusting you, when you say the main girl gives him shit back.
I heard in Noble, my love he is possessively mean, and forbids the lead female from being around other guys/from leaving the house/and from going out to do her job....apparently he has to know where she is all the time, and if she doesn't answer the phone, shit hits the fan...is this all true? I'll be interested in hearing the perspective on a person who has been vocal about abuse in dramas in the past, but makes no mention of it here???
Maybe I've got it all wrong, please correct me! I will not watch this drama if the lead does all of the above.
I'm really liking this but it's really nothing like the original story.
It's not him being cold that's the problem. It's how his personality type brings the worse out of her personality type. He would insult her/ignore her...then throw her a bone. Which would cruelly keep her hopes up and make her come back...he knew just enough what to dangle. And isn't that classic signs of abuse? Oh, I'll treat her wrong, but the moment I sense she's drifting away, I'll smile at her or something, and then this cycle continues at least 5 times. When a person degrades themselves, and the other person just insults them or encourages the behaviour by ignoring, then showing affection for like 2 seconds, it really does mess with one's mind. Ergo, the title "mental abuse." If you don't consider it to be mental abuse, then fine.
But she is a person that lacks self-esteem. Her type of character is vulnerable and needs help not ridicule from prospective love interests.
I'm really liking this but it's really nothing like the original story.
C'mon you cannot deny they portrayed her dumb as a box of rocks...allowing herself to be a doormat, so he could wipe his feet all over her...begging for his icy attention...he just ignored her most of the time. But the escalation of how much she degraded herself, pointed to signs of low self-esteem and he certainly didn't help her raise it....instead he just ignored (she just saw that as progress), or actively insulting her....though I admit. I watched ISWAK from beginning to the end. There were sweet moments. And her persistence won her a husband. But the first fifteen to twenty episodes were painful to watch....I was young then. I thought something was wrong with me, for not liking the plot and demanding more as a female viewer about female characterization. I told myself to suck it up and keep going...
And although I don't regret watching it, because it had many good points, it's major major negative point was how it portrayed the female lead. The ultimate doormat victim. Still I gave the drama a 7, which is pretty generous in my view.
This drama started so good but not until Ep 10 when the main issue has been solved. It becomes too boring for…
They reached the denouement too early - that is, they solved the primary problem, without inserting a good secondary problem in place. For me, it would've been perfect if Seong Joon hadn't been accepting about the deceit - all the groundwork for feeling betrayed was there. But he finds out about the real Hye Jin and pffft.....he's just happy? He's unwittingly sealed the climax. I would've preferred more drama at this point -
I'd like to add about the extra phenomenon which links nicely to this - rape fantasies. It's the second most common fantasy for women apparently. Being "raped" absolves the woman of all guilt and responsibility- they don't have to feel guilty about their own sexual desires and healthy interest in the bedroom arena - because societally women have been repressed and they have no other way of expressing their urges without looking like a "slut" (Elsa has it bang on.) This is where the term "bodice-rippers" comes from, and a popular segment in historical fiction - a whole genre focused on the women's corset being ripped away from her, and being "forced upon."
Slap/Kiss is popular because it panders to women who have rape fantasies, but the actual woman in the drama is not living a rape fantasy...she is usually seen kicking and crying and distressed. So for audience satisfaction this genre has been born, because in those societies healthy sexual urges cannot be shown, without the woman being seriously labelled. What does it say about the society that watches it? Quite a lot! :D
However, I have this fictional "line." Whenever I am watching media, I question myself: Is the abuse being glamorised? Romanticized? Being seen through "rose-tinted" glasses? Slap/Kiss definitely does all three. Why? Mainly, because they portray happily ever afters (like you said.) This phenomenon can't die soon enough imo.
You don't see any signs of his autism being managed, or him reverting back to exactly how he was before. Also his meanness is more or less directed at one person - he isn't the same level of mean to anyone else. And I'm pretty sure autism doesn't have an on/off switch button - if the writer wanted to to portray an autistic character I would have liked more research and an active display of management techniques. And if Naoki was not diagnosed - then I'm even more surprised he is able to be a different character altogether after getting married, because it would be virtually unheard of. Maybe he had mild autism? Even then, I would expect it to continue till death and not just disappear. Basically more research needed all round. (And I agree with you - there needs to be a National Awareness Month!)
You raise a good point in your 2nd paragraph. Does it make me happy? No. But I s'ppose it's all in relation. If a doctor went home and knocked six rounds out of his wife, and she lay dying on the floor as he tried to save her, she might think more of his motivations and not be as happy he's saving her. But if the next day, he saved a stranger on the operating table, that stranger would be very happy and wouldn't care about his motivation. I'm not going to be a hypocrite - if that stranger on the operating table was me, I would be that person that wouldn't care less about motivation. It's human nature. We are all egocentric at a certain level. Do I still think it's an appalling message to be packed in a romance drama geared at young girls? Yes. Might be more interesting themes to be used in a drama, which doesn't idealize or romanticize the notion - a drama that shows repercussions as well as the rewards. They are out there, and they are the best ones! :)
I admit, by the end, they are quite a couple - but it's a fairytale ending. In the real world, characters should build their own self-esteem, not rely on someone else to do it. What if that person ups and leaves? You should never be that dependent on anybody, unless you're fragile and it can't be helped (in that case, you have no business being in a romance at all.) In fiction, it makes love intense and shit, but I'm quite the cynical realist, and I know exactly how fiction glamorizes and romanticizes some terrible behavior - by saying "it's all right, he becomes a better man by the end, because she stuck by him and believed in him"
Maybe I've got it all wrong, please correct me! I will not watch this drama if the lead does all of the above.
But she is a person that lacks self-esteem. Her type of character is vulnerable and needs help not ridicule from prospective love interests.
And although I don't regret watching it, because it had many good points, it's major major negative point was how it portrayed the female lead. The ultimate doormat victim. Still I gave the drama a 7, which is pretty generous in my view.