I really want to try some new Cdrama ive fiund it hard to find one that suits my taste but i really liked the sound of your review. Could I ask is the ML abusive to the FL im not talking gruff or cold i mean verbally physically abusive.
Is the relationship monogamous.
Is there a love triangle involving the leads where a 2ML or 2FL who is a green flag gets heartbroken. Or the FL will end up choosing a guy whose abusive over one whose not.
I realise these might seem random questions but i am not a prolific viewer but i keep coming up against these tropes.
It was definitely worth it... glad I didn't let myself be discouraged by some of the toxic commenters... of which…
I know right I wasnt expecting to write one. The influence of these dramas on reality is to romanticize and idealise these age gap romances which then affects the culture and how its viewed. That is a fact. Thats why i dont like them. In asian culture not only is it culturally normal for families and sociery to have influence on girls marraige it is also common for them to push young women together with older men for wealth and status reasons which might benefit family not the woman. Its back to the tradition that a man needs to grow up get a career earn money then pick his young bride who can provide children. Eire means 🇮🇪. Ireland was a very conservative Country right up to the 90s and treated women like shit for a long time and portrayals of women in tv reflected what society expected and approved of. The supportive young housewife was idealised the independent career focused woman was rarely seen.
Im so glad this shit has a 6 might stop them makimg more if them. Ah girls empowerment is not about cheating. There was a brief moment of consentual polyamorous and then what she cheats on both of them. I thought the point of polyamorous relationships was everyone was an adult who knew the rules. These guys did not know the rules and the 3rd guy very much wanted monogomy he was very clear and then he was okay with her dating others with no explanation.This is just shitty behaviour full stop.
Ah fabulous drama where cheating is just all good fun so we will just ignore it. 😉 Cause its the fashion industry or something or its made by Netflix. Or the way to show a woman has agency is by having her cheat on her boyfriend with her ex bf cause you know shes cool.
OMG You think Josephs character was a goid depiction of queerness. A flamboyant camp emotionally unstable fashion designer = gay. Hello i think 1994 are looking for you to head back there.
So i see a lot of bad reviews so ill ask someone who liked it, can I clarify does she cheat on both or either of the guys cause thats a red line for me.
@Shinigami commented 5 months ago ep 20 (33,29min) After xy times of getting treated badly and getting belittled by ML, FL finally had enough. ML leaves for 3 years without any contact, comes back, is still upset with her (cause she “rebelled”and wasn’t a good doormat FL for once), shows up with a fake girlfriend to hurt her, orders her around and she just falls back into doing what he wants (“Apologize. NOW!” And she does…) is there a more toxic relationship out there?
And this is supposed to be a drama about first love and youth??
Please defend this action in a way that makes sense to women or I suggest you change your rating.
Hint ML is trash treats FL very badly FL accepts it bad message to young girls
Idc about the ones who have dropped or badmouthing this drama. This drama stays within my heart rentfree. One…
@Shinigami gave this example 5 months ago ep 20 (33,29min) After xy times of getting treated badly and getting belittled by ML, FL finally had enough. ML leaves for 3 years without any contact, comes back, is still upset with her (cause she “rebelled”and wasn’t a good doormat FL for once), shows up with a fake girlfriend to hurt her, orders her around and she just falls back into doing what he wants (“Apologize. NOW!” And she does…) is there a more toxic relationship out there? And this is supposed to be a drama about first love and youth??
Well, I really came here after seeing how disastrous the Thai version is, which far surpasses the poor adaptation…
Yes, I agree too often these dramas present a woman with a horrible man that they "choose" to accept and forgive because ah he didnt mean it. He had a tough life, he just is realky not like that when you get to know him better etc etc. Often they are written to choose these guys over perfectly nice guys who also love them.
What is the message and why is that the message and why is this trope so popular amongst women.
It was definitely worth it... glad I didn't let myself be discouraged by some of the toxic commenters... of which…
in the direction the gaps tend to be closer like 8 to 10 yrs which honestly I don't really have an issue with 8 is not a problem anything over 10 yes. Also I was referring to DIK I git confused. As I said the FF has a realky string plot without or without the reaky OTT age gap so I don't get the need for it. DIK is rich experienced dude with young inexperienced employee. I have seen comme ts like I can't believe the FL she still kept spending time with the younger brother even though ML warned her not to LOL. So yeah I disrespected that one cause I don't have any respect for it. Nor SLA cause it may be well produced and acted but it's too easy on the cheating which both characters did btw the ML also had a gf and FL knew that. And this one because I liked the story and it felt the age gap served no purpose.
I think I'm often triggered by and reacting to the comments and commenters as much as the drama. Maybe I need to reflect on that 🤔. Anyway I think all of the peeves I have are based on the place of women and how they are viewed and what is expected of them. Cultural pressure and expectation of Duty with inherent unfairness toward women is huge in all societies and often propagated by women. I believe in Asia the expectation that women should accept older men as husbands and be their dutiful wives and bear children is still very much a cultural issue. I live in a Country where women were treated desperately for a long time so I'm sensitive to it. When I see age gap romances so prevalent and set up as ooh lucky young woman gets hot older man, I don't think of western culture I dont see consenting adults with agency being promoted I see an outdated and inherently unfair and imbalanced social norm being romanticised when it should be IMO being seen as remarkable or unusual or interesting but not a reinforcement of outdated ideas. In the same way I get triggered by the toxic abusive male getting the girl which is reinforcing the notion that a man should be authoritative aggressive and in charge and a woman should be breathless in response. To be fair to Forbidden Flower it's not that but I still don't see the need to have such a huge age gap. Noona romances always are forced to address the age gap, again indicative of the double standard. Who does this hot older woman think she is with a younger man she is way too big fir her boots. Look at this hot older guy with that beautiful young girl well done Sir.
It was definitely worth it... glad I didn't let myself be discouraged by some of the toxic commenters... of which…
I blocked you i felt we were going in circles but also i got tored of you repeating the same charges of appaling ridiculos unacceptable behaviour in every reply. Like i do get it. I just dont agree. And i am aware that some will find it triggering but some will agree. Peace keep trucking and defending what you think us right your obviously not an idiot.
It was definitely worth it... glad I didn't let myself be discouraged by some of the toxic commenters... of which…
The drama is set in China 🇨🇳. There are still women forced or pressureinto marraiges they dont want. Often the expectation of family and the cultural notion that an age gap marraige between an older man with career and younger woman to have children is an ideal. Too many Cdramas and Asian dramas IMO perpetuate that notion of older man younger woman as ideal and romanticize it. Often its hidden behind the excuse of historical accuracy e.g. Love Like the Galaxy where the ML is 23 and a soldier pursuing a 15yr old girl. So when i see it in modern ones it triggers me.
It was definitely worth it... glad I didn't let myself be discouraged by some of the toxic commenters... of which…
The millions you talk about you'd have to break it down to those outside cultures where there are arranged marraiges and and adult women have "agency". Portraying age gap romances in cultures where that denial of independence is still very much in transition and dressing them up.as romantic and exciting. Is to me very undesirable.
There is a reason the characters faced challenges and rightly so in the case of DIK or SLA are the relationships at all healthy. DIK is probably the worst she has a younger guy right there but picks old dude anyway who "forbids her to see him" and is her boss and a jerk etc etc SLA is just makjang trash and forget Baeksang The absolute trash IMO that was world of the married was the most viewed show in SK that featured a man a guy cheating on his wife with a girl 26yrs younger than her lovely. Look at 50 shades of gray that featured all sorts of shit including paedophilia, popularity and awards aren't a reliable measure when the world is so full.of idiots who succumbed to hype, marketing and hot guy privilege and made 50 shades popular. As for FF yes she chooses him but it is so irritating because you could easily have 2 characters with exactly the same issues that's a full plot there and not have a huge age gap, why?? To stand out for shock value. As for CZJ whatever 🙄. your flitting between millions among couples and then one specific couple to mic drop is kinda funny. I think I've accepted my views might not be popular but I believe them.
Things I really hate
Arranged Marraige Underage girls or boys with adults High chool kids with current (obviously) or past teachers. High School Kids with College Students Disrespectful insulting abusive Behaviour toward FL from ML being glossed over and FL chooses ML.anyway. Controlling Parents Bullyng in school and Work MLs who minimise sexual assault as just horseplay. Women who forgive abuse. Homophonic Slurs or stereotyping Racist Slurs or Stereotyping
Should I just not watch Kdramas with any of this. Am I bound to watch dramas with this. Yes will I enjoy it? I could tbf I mean it's not always inexcusable.
Strong Girl Bong Soon = Homophobia Shooting Stars = Racial Stereotyping Something in the Rain = Controlling Parents (so much reaction just about Mom why did they watch it it was clearly tagged) LOL Secret Garden = Verbal and Physical Abuse
These are all showered with 10 out of 10s. In the Interest of balance These need some low ratings and call outs on the despicable content within,
It was definitely worth it... glad I didn't let myself be discouraged by some of the toxic commenters... of which…
I give your response a 6. You really need to be more concise. As for people saying they went in with all the prejudices but liked it anyway by your logic they should of never watched it. But hey they did so i guess that validates anyone watching something with a theme they dont like and any ensuing opinions they have I mean you cant mean you only respect positive opinions. Its kinda like your one who think if the ML is hot nothing matters. Not true. And secret love affair is trash IMO I fully reserve the right to say it on a space for giving your opinion on a drama. And scoring it. The low rating is valid people might low score a Tarantino as good potential but too voilent. They might justifiably object to too much violence and see it as problematic. The low score is perhaps the writers problem for treating a topic like infidelity in such a romanticized way. I worry about the people who arent turned off by it. An ageing piano player meets a piano prodigy who is a delivery driver and moves him into her house LOL so unrealistic so trashy. Im glad there are other people like me who call it out. Also age gap realtionships between early 20s girls and middle aged men are so obviously abnormal (as in they are not nor should they be the norm) IMO and unappealing especially for women. As I said if the writers of Secret Love Affait dealt with the infidelity and inappropriateness of the relationship in a different way they might get higher marks. But as you say then its a different drama. Like its still only 7.7 even with all the people giving it 4 10s LOL. Once again your not capapable of respecting people disagreeing. Without raging Ultimately we are the same we have strong beliefs and when someone says something we think is dumb we say it. The difference is I am clear my beliefs might be marmite so what its the mix if opinions that keeps things in flux. Like look at how dramas have changed in 10 yrs from people rightly pointing out and raging at the toxic behaviour of MLS. Sure plenty of odd people still defend trash like BOF but enough people called it shit and we see less. Its important to object even if you get shit for it. It might not change anythingbut it might. Keep an eye on me read all my reviews. I only hope others pay as much attention. Finally if someone makes a comme t or a review i realky disagree with and want to engage with cause it triggers me cant i do it. Its exactly what you did after all.
Could I ask is the ML abusive to the FL im not talking gruff or cold i mean verbally physically abusive.
Is the relationship monogamous.
Is there a love triangle involving the leads where a 2ML or 2FL who is a green flag gets heartbroken. Or the FL will end up choosing a guy whose abusive over one whose not.
I realise these might seem random questions but i am not a prolific viewer but i keep coming up against these tropes.
The influence of these dramas on reality is to romanticize and idealise these age gap romances which then affects the culture and how its viewed. That is a fact. Thats why i dont like them. In asian culture not only is it culturally normal for families and sociery to have influence on girls marraige it is also common for them to push young women together with older men for wealth and status reasons which might benefit family not the woman.
Its back to the tradition that a man needs to grow up get a career earn money then pick his young bride who can provide children.
Eire means 🇮🇪. Ireland was a very conservative Country right up to the 90s and treated women like shit for a long time and portrayals of women in tv reflected what society expected and approved of. The supportive young housewife was idealised the independent career focused woman was rarely seen.
Ah girls empowerment is not about cheating. There was a brief moment of consentual polyamorous and then what she cheats on both of them. I thought the point of polyamorous relationships was everyone was an adult who knew the rules. These guys did not know the rules and the 3rd guy very much wanted monogomy he was very clear and then he was okay with her dating others with no explanation.This is just shitty behaviour full stop.
ep 20 (33,29min)
After xy times of getting treated badly and getting belittled by ML, FL finally had enough. ML leaves for 3 years without any contact, comes back, is still upset with her (cause she “rebelled”and wasn’t a good doormat FL for once), shows up with a fake girlfriend to hurt her, orders her around and she just falls back into doing what he wants (“Apologize. NOW!” And she does…) is there a more toxic relationship out there?
And this is supposed to be a drama about first love and youth??
Please defend this action in a way that makes sense to women or I suggest you change your rating.
Hint ML is trash treats FL very badly FL accepts it bad message to young girls
ep 20 (33,29min)
After xy times of getting treated badly and getting belittled by ML, FL finally had enough. ML leaves for 3 years without any contact, comes back, is still upset with her (cause she “rebelled”and wasn’t a good doormat FL for once), shows up with a fake girlfriend to hurt her, orders her around and she just falls back into doing what he wants (“Apologize. NOW!” And she does…) is there a more toxic relationship out there?
And this is supposed to be a drama about first love and youth??
I REST MY (THEIR) CASE
What is the message and why is that the message and why is this trope so popular amongst women.
I have seen comme ts like I can't believe the FL she still kept spending time with the younger brother even though ML warned her not to LOL.
So yeah I disrespected that one cause I don't have any respect for it. Nor SLA cause it may be well produced and acted but it's too easy on the cheating which both characters did btw the ML also had a gf and FL knew that.
And this one because I liked the story and it felt the age gap served no purpose.
I think I'm often triggered by and reacting to the comments and commenters as much as the drama. Maybe I need to reflect on that 🤔. Anyway I think all of the peeves I have are based on the place of women and how they are viewed and what is expected of them. Cultural pressure and expectation of Duty with inherent unfairness toward women is huge in all societies and often propagated by women. I believe in Asia the expectation that women should accept older men as husbands and be their dutiful wives and bear children is still very much a cultural issue. I live in a Country where women were treated desperately for a long time so I'm sensitive to it. When I see age gap romances so prevalent and set up as ooh lucky young woman gets hot older man, I don't think of western culture I dont see consenting adults with agency being promoted I see an outdated and inherently unfair and imbalanced social norm being romanticised when it should be IMO being seen as remarkable or unusual or interesting but not a reinforcement of outdated ideas.
In the same way I get triggered by the toxic abusive male getting the girl which is reinforcing the notion that a man should be authoritative aggressive and in charge and a woman should be breathless in response. To be fair to Forbidden Flower it's not that but I still don't see the need to have such a huge age gap.
Noona romances always are forced to address the age gap, again indicative of the double standard. Who does this hot older woman think she is with a younger man she is way too big fir her boots. Look at this hot older guy with that beautiful young girl well done Sir.
Peace keep trucking and defending what you think us right your obviously not an idiot.
Often its hidden behind the excuse of historical accuracy e.g. Love Like the Galaxy where the ML is 23 and a soldier pursuing a 15yr old girl.
So when i see it in modern ones it triggers me.
There is a reason the characters faced challenges and rightly so in the case of DIK or SLA are the relationships at all healthy. DIK is probably the worst she has a younger guy right there but picks old dude anyway who "forbids her to see him" and is her boss and a jerk etc etc
SLA is just makjang trash and forget Baeksang The absolute trash IMO that was world of the married was the most viewed show in SK that featured a man a guy cheating on his wife with a girl 26yrs younger than her lovely. Look at 50 shades of gray that featured all sorts of shit including paedophilia, popularity and awards aren't a reliable measure when the world is so full.of idiots who succumbed to hype, marketing and hot guy privilege and made 50 shades popular.
As for FF yes she chooses him but it is so irritating because you could easily have 2 characters with exactly the same issues that's a full plot there and not have a huge age gap, why?? To stand out for shock value.
As for CZJ whatever 🙄. your flitting between millions among couples and then one specific couple to mic drop is kinda funny.
I think I've accepted my views might not be popular but I believe them.
Things I really hate
Arranged Marraige
Underage girls or boys with adults
High chool kids with current (obviously) or past teachers.
High School Kids with College Students
Disrespectful insulting abusive Behaviour toward FL from ML being glossed over and FL chooses ML.anyway.
Controlling Parents
Bullyng in school and Work
MLs who minimise sexual assault as just horseplay.
Women who forgive abuse.
Homophonic Slurs or stereotyping
Racist Slurs or Stereotyping
Should I just not watch Kdramas with any of this. Am I bound to watch dramas with this. Yes will I enjoy it? I could tbf I mean it's not always inexcusable.
Strong Girl Bong Soon = Homophobia
Shooting Stars = Racial Stereotyping
Something in the Rain = Controlling Parents (so much reaction just about Mom why did they watch it it was clearly tagged) LOL
Secret Garden = Verbal and Physical Abuse
These are all showered with 10 out of 10s. In the Interest of balance These need some low ratings and call outs on the despicable content within,
As for people saying they went in with all the prejudices but liked it anyway by your logic they should of never watched it. But hey they did so i guess that validates anyone watching something with a theme they dont like and any ensuing opinions they have I mean you cant mean you only respect positive opinions.
Its kinda like your one who think if the ML is hot nothing matters. Not true.
And secret love affair is trash IMO I fully reserve the right to say it on a space for giving your opinion on a drama. And scoring it. The low rating is valid people might low score a Tarantino as good potential but too voilent. They might justifiably object to too much violence and see it as problematic. The low score is perhaps the writers problem for treating a topic like infidelity in such a romanticized way. I worry about the people who arent turned off by it. An ageing piano player meets a piano prodigy who is a delivery driver and moves him into her house LOL so unrealistic so trashy.
Im glad there are other people like me who call it out.
Also age gap realtionships between early 20s girls and middle aged men are so obviously abnormal (as in they are not nor should they be the norm) IMO and unappealing especially for women.
As I said if the writers of Secret Love Affait dealt with the infidelity and inappropriateness of the relationship in a different way they might get higher marks. But as you say then its a different drama. Like its still only 7.7 even with all the people giving it 4 10s LOL.
Once again your not capapable of respecting people disagreeing. Without raging Ultimately we are the same we have strong beliefs and when someone says something we think is dumb we say it.
The difference is I am clear my beliefs might be marmite so what its the mix if opinions that keeps things in flux. Like look at how dramas have changed in 10 yrs from people rightly pointing out and raging at the toxic behaviour of MLS. Sure plenty of odd people still defend trash like BOF but enough people called it shit and we see less. Its important to object even if you get shit for it. It might not change anythingbut it might. Keep an eye on me read all my reviews. I only hope others pay as much attention.
Finally if someone makes a comme t or a review i realky disagree with and want to engage with cause it triggers me cant i do it. Its exactly what you did after all.