For those of you still reading the comments: if the drama would have had more budget, what should they have invested…
To answer my own question: In addition to all the great suggestions already mentioned, I would have liked to see (in no particular order)
- more about the Duan massacre. Why were they killed? Did the fact that they hid Zi Ang play a part? (I mean, they were accused of treason / conspiracy with the enemy? Were they really just framed? But by hiding Zi Ang they actually committed something I would call treason? It is either a really big coincidence or something that could add another interesting twist to the plot.
- Zi Ang as a young boy and how the massacre impacted him. Show him as a boy crying in the Red Shadow Guard's training camp. His uncle being strict / nice to him, instilling the values of North Ji into a boy who grew up in South Hui.
- females, in general. I know this is BL and many BL fans / dramas don't treat women nicely. But it is also kind of sad that there are only 3 females who speak lines, all of them maids, and the longest dialogue is from the maid preparing tea for Shu He. What about their mothers for instance? ...which brings me to my last two points
- Shu He and his mother (and maybe even Shu Qian (bc imo they have the same mother)) in childhood. The contrast in upbringing from their father and their mother. What happened to her? What was she accused of to kill her? I think even Mi Jin would have profited from seeing an actress that was Shu He's mother. (He said he had trouble finding the right feelings for the scene)
- Zi Ang's mother and why she was killed. Shu He said in the poem the emperor of North Ji blames her for his misrule. What did she do? So many questions...
Everyone has very good points that I would have loved to have seen explored. I would have loved to see the devastation…
I think in episode 9 the lack of budget is the most apparent, since you can see they want to show war, but just don't have extras who play soldiers; they lack horses, carriages, war equipment, whatnot. All is AI. Not bad, actually, and they used it effectively, but real people would’ve created a much bigger impact. Show a town being raided, civilians suffering - even if Zi Ang wants to be merciful. Also there are no scenes of Shu He in court during his reign. We only see his ascension and then whenever he is in his bed chamber looking miserable. What happened? Why is he distraught? What did Gu and the other ministers suggest he should / shouldn't do?
I totally agree with what @Boho and @Xie Lian have added here, particularly the following points:1 - As viewers,…
I think your third point is reflected quite well in some viewers' confusion. Some are completely on Zi Ang's side, not understanding why Shu He was so opposed to Zi Ang. I read comments that they didn't understand the "sudden" switch from "love to hate to love to hate" again. But then again, I think Shu He himself takes a long time to come to terms with what wants and what he feels. He is put in an impossibly difficult situation - so it's difficult to convey.
Tbh, "almost" everything except DZA and SH's lovestory looked like it was left out or picked up from the…
1) Yes, Minister Gu! I want to know what his motive was, and what happened to him! It seems like he achieved nothing in the end...
2) Huai Yi - Was he Zi Ang's real foster brother? An imposter set up by North Ji? So many questions.
3) Yes. The explanation in canon doesn't make sense. I talked a lot about that with @Jasprin. I think he was either poisoned by someone in North Ji's court (HY or someone else) - or it was some kind of poison that made him stronger (like steroids x100), but with devastating side effects.
4) Could have been explored more, but I agree with some other opinions: Only if it doesn't distract from the main narrative.
You can add as much as you want; if it had a proper budget, I imagine there could have been plenty more episodes. Reading all of your great comments makes me want to at least double the amount of episodes. :D
For those of you still reading the comments: if the drama would have had more budget, what should they have invested in? What would you like to see/add? Where is the most potential?
It does end in a similar way, but the series is a re-interpretation of the written story. Even the names have…
It’s so interesting that Jasprin said 20% was kept, because it really feels different, especially the character dynamics (I didn’t get far, but from what I read I don’t like Zi Ang in the novel). It‘s like they kept the bones (poetry loving Sixth Prince and assassin, power-hungry brother etc.) and created something new based off that.
Since some newer viewers have commented on Ep 1-5Here is what to look out for:An unlikely encounter in ep1 Shu…
In the beginning both have their goals and mistrust each other. But as they get to know each other again, things change. At first it is playful and superficial, (assisting in the bath, caring for Zi Ang’s wound) but by the time Shu He is drunk at the Shen Ding house, things fundamentally shift imo. (Also: The hand washing scene could be next to the encyclopedia entry of "UST".) Shu He can see the deep love Zi Ang still has for his brother. Something he has in common with him, but something he also envies. He can in fact relate so much to those feelings, that he even gives into Prime Minister Gu’s demand to join the court(!). Zi Ang is likewise captured by Shu He – his kind-hearted nature, the love for his brother, the deep conflict of wanting to escape and live in seclusion and his duty as the Sixth Prince. But more than anything Shu He is the first person since the massacre of his family to show him affection. And Zi Ang is starved of love, being raised as an assassin in the Red Shadow Guard. So he falls head over heels for Shu He. (🤫 it’s mutual though 🥰) Then by episode 5, the arranged marriage makes both of them realize the depth of their feelings. Because Princess Wen Jing could be what both of them want not her, but the other one to be: the person they want to marry, to share their bed with, to be together for the rest of their life.
Since some newer viewers have commented on Ep 1-5 Here is what to look out for:
An unlikely encounter in ep1 Shu He leaves to get to Prime Minister Gu’s residence – instead he is taken captive by the mysterious assassin, Zi Ang. But Shu He doesn’t show fear or fight for his life. He is interested in the man restraining him: Why does he do those things? The way Zi Ang holds him, the gentle, almost alluring way he is looking for the Jade token is in stark contrast to the situation. When Zi Ang leaves, Shu He recognizes the familiar back retreating. To Zi Ang, Shu He must be equally fascinating – his old childhood friend, completely unfazed by the situation, even volunteering to help him.
The second time they meet is entirely staged by Zi Ang. However Shu He sees right through him and sets his own plan in action immediately. Which is to let Zi Ang lower his guard, and the way he does so is by “pretending” to be close. Of course, the problem is: what happens when the feigned closeness and familiarity becomes something real between them?
From episode 2-4/5: Look for when to spot these little turning points, they are subtle at first, and later become more prominent as their feelings deepen. It's really rewarding. ❤️
10/10 Kill to love literally killing itAmazing actors and the amazing storyline literally worth to watch it. Woooooooooh…
Did you rewatch the drama? I remember your comment from some time ago. <3 Yes, we'd all love another drama with them together as the leads, but it seems unlikely. T_T
I have a question I’ve been asking myself: why do you think Zi Ang didn’t tell the truth about being a Red Shadow Guard?
I mean, he tried after finding out about his bloodline, but he had ample opportunity and time before that. The only canon explanation by Zi Ang is "I didn’t want to hide my only truth in lies " Did he think it wasn’t that important? That he would have plenty of time to do so? Looking for the right moment (which he missed/ was then interrupted )?
I'm gonna start this tomorrow, but I'm nervous. I'm a long-time drama watcher, but I JUST started liking Chinese…
Well, give it a try and see if you like it. ☺️ The first episodes are quite fast-paced and a lot is happening, just a heads up. Not recommended when you're super tired or you'll blink and miss something. The characters are multilayered, the leads have amazing chemistry, the dialogue feels like poetry at times.
Bonus: IF you have any questions or just want to chat - the comment section is full of lovely people too. 😉
What I love from the series is that they give us an intense passionate gay love storyline. SuHe and ZiAng were…
I’ve only seen your comment right now- how come they’re always hidden? I really wish this was a proper forum.
Anyways, I don’t think about flags in general. {Edit: These characters are far too complex to assign flags. And while I've read comments that made me giggle, like "DZA went from green to red/black to green flag" or "he is a forest of [red] flags", imo this is just ppl trying to make sense of the complexity they see on screen. Because what they see and the conflicting emotions they feel have to be processed. }
I think there were signs of Zi Ang’s possessiveness from early on.
{Edit: What he ended up doing was the worst he could do to Shu He. But I know why he did it. And in his misguided ways he meant well. That however, doesn't change the fact that he never tried to see it from Shu He's pov. He really should have listened to Huai Yi at least once; because it's NOT: "Whether he loves me or hates me is a matter of later." No, he should have thought about this.} But I LOVE that he never forced anything sexual between them. This drama wouldn’t be my no. 1 if he had.
So frustratingly stupid this Shu He.....he still keeps on believing that his brother will not kill him when he…
I wouldn’t call Shu He stupid, more incredibly naive when it comes to the people he loves. It’s his biggest flaw, and I guess that’s frustrating, but he does pay for it dearly. He hopes against all odds that his brother wouldn’t be that brutal. Zi Ang wanted to protect him, but that’s not what Shu He wanted… and Zi Ang could have knocked Shu Qian unconscious and taken Shu He with him. I’m not sure that would have worked or made things better, but Zi Ang was not seeing Shu He’s pov at all.
Allegedly all chiefs of the Red Shadow Guard were poisoned to die in their prime, according to DHY. But is he…
Omg, Jasprin, your analysis is great and so thorough! Amazing, really. 👏
Okay, let's dig into this! Btw, I added this to the "deep dives" forum post. This is too good and important to get lost. ;)
For everyone except Shu Qian, these are only ever estimates. XD - HY: Could be a little bit older than you think, but I believe younger than XSQ, so at the time of his rescue, 4-6 y.o. seems likely. All of your sound reasoning with conditioning HY could still happen if he was a little bit older, imo.
Next I thought about Shu He in relation to Shu Qian. 1st and 6th prince: 4 male babies were born between them. Their father likely had multiple wives, but how many? I think they'd only count legitimately born sons as princes (by a woman of proper status), not sons by some low concubine. So maybe 2-4 women? Plus, while it is possible that the emperor had 6 sons in a row, no daughters at all, it's statistically unlikely (only around 2%) that no girls were born (--> for a 90-95% confidence 2-9 girls for 6 boys.) So the age gap between Shu He and Shu Qian cannot be too narrow, with each pregnancy lasting 9 mo + recovery (so at least 1 - 1.5 years between births). So imo, even with tight spacing between births and wives being pregnant at the same time (and death during/after childbirth being a real threat) at least a 3-4 years age gap between Shu Qian and Shu He seems likely. (For the real life counterparts I found a 4 year age gap).
But even with Shu He being a bit younger, I. think it still makes kind of sense. He would have been 10 around the time of the Duan massacre, and Zi Ang slightly older (2 years seems likely).
I think Huai Yi must be even younger. Shu He said (I think in ep 1 or 2) that the last time he saw him as a child he wasn't yet able to ride a horse - so that makes me think 5-7 years old. Because at age 9 I think he already should have been able to. But I don't know about the age to be ordained as a monk (again, great insight!). So let's assume he is 18 (youngest age possible) when we meet him again in the series.
So my guesses:
Ages when Shu Qian died: Shu Qian - 24 years old Duan Zi Ang - 23 years old Shen Song - 22 years old Shu He - 20-21 years old Huo Ying - 21-23 years old Duan Huai Yi - 18 years old
The confession scene in ep 6 is … everything to me. I have seen it far too many times. I don’t believe perfect things exist. Yet, for a first kiss in a BL drama, this comes as close to perfection as I have ever seen. It touched something deep inside me, and from that moment, I knew this drama would hold a special place in my heart forever. I don’t know if I can do this moment justice, but I want to try. Also, I have a few (hopefully interesting) things to say about the translations of the original Chinese dialogue. ;) (It's long, brace yourself)
Let’s revisit this together. :)
The lines Zi Ang says before their first and Shu He before their second kisses made me lose sleep. They made sense, and yet, in another way, they didn’t. While the show was airing, I felt they were as much foreshadowing as reflection, though I couldn’t fully place it without having seen the full drama. Did anyone else feel the same?
Zi Ang says, "我心甘情愿当这个替死鬼." Translated as "I'm more than willing to be the scapegoat." In English, scapegoat implies taking blame for someone else, but Shu He was never blamed?
The Chinese term carries a different nuance, emphasizing sacrifice. Zi Ang is essentially saying: "If death is what it takes, let me be the one."
And it’s ture: just before this moment, he drank what he thought was poisoned wine, so it is not metaphorical. It is a declaration of love stronger than survival itself. After their kiss, the perfection continues. Their breathing reflects the racing of their hearts, a masterful display by both actors. Zi Ang studies Shu He, wanting another kiss, but Shu He pulls away. Not because he doesn’t want to, but out of fear. One last act of defiance. But Zi Ang will not let him go.
Shu He finally removes his metaphorical and literal armor. He reveals his crippled hand, the cruel torture by his brother, who stole away one way of freedom within his cage for Shu He.
I think this is also very important, because lies and truth are a central theme throughout the series. And at this point, there are no lies from Shu He's side. Shu He is 100% truthful and genuine and has revealed absolutely everything to Zi Ang. Yet, Zi Ang hasn't, and this is a major (the major?) discrepancy that will come into play in ep 8. But back to the scene. ;)
Zi Ang is dismayed (rightfully so), and Shu He admits: "Back then, I could not protect mother. Now I cannot protect myself. I cannot protect you either." Zi Ang only asks if it hurts. He pledges to protect Shu He with all he has. This breaks down Shu He’s walls. God, I'm crying. The turning point comes when Zi Ang says, "You are too hard on yourself." Shu He seeks one final confirmation: does Zi Ang share his dream for freedom?
Zi Ang answers: "山河万里只有你才是我想要的自由.
By the way, at this point I have to point out the poetry of Chinese language and the dialouge again. I’m sure many of you have seen both translations of this sentence by Zi Ang? The more literal (as on YT) and the more interpreted one from Gagaoolala:
Gaga: "in this vast land… YT: "Ten thousand miles of mountains and rivers… … you are the only freedom I want."
but Chinese really shines in the beauty of their characters – simple somehow, yet every Character is a picture, so in a way I feel it is almost a painting: 山 = mountains (shan) 河 = rivers (he) 万 = ten thousand (wan) 里 = ancient measure of length, approx. 500 m (li)
Shu He replies, "别让我再输一次," "Don’t let me lose again."
Again, I'd like for a small revision – because in English, "to lose" is too broad of a meaning – (in English you can: lose a person or an item). This is not true for shu 输. Shu in Chinese refers to games, competitions, bets. So "Don't let me be defeated again." is a less ambiguous, closer translation.
If we return to the motif of “Go” or “playing games” for Shu He, it reflects his greed. As he admits in Ep 12, he wanted too much, which led to his downfall. In Go, greedy moves can be powerful if you can defend your territory, but they also leave you vulnerable and can cost you the game. Shu He wants it all: freedom from royal duties, to be with Zi Ang, to find Huai Yi, and live happily ever after.
Whenever Shu He is associated with “games,” it signals decisions made for his own agency, when he pursues something for himself and not others. Ep 1 shows his desire for freedom, while Eps 6 and 12 show him wanting Zi Ang and freedom at the same time.
The line “Don’t let me be defeated again” carries so much weight. It is a plea, a warning, and a roundabout confession, not just about love. For Shu He, love is a gamble. He fears losing but also clings to hope that maybe Zi Ang will keep him safe, honor his promise, and allow him to have it all. It feels almost too good to be true.
Together, these two lines form the emotional axis of their story: "I'm willing to be the scapegoat." "Don't let me be defeated again."
Zi Ang vows to sacrifice everything for love. Shu He pleas with Zi Ang not to let him lose what that sacrifice stands for.
And the foreshadowing is perfect. Zi Ang will be the one to make Shu He suffer the most. Shu He will lose everything, mostly by Zi Ang’s own hands. Yet this collision of two souls reveals that their only chance at freedom and love is through each other, even if it leads to their downfall.
In addition to all the great suggestions already mentioned, I would have liked to see (in no particular order)
- more about the Duan massacre. Why were they killed? Did the fact that they hid Zi Ang play a part? (I mean, they were accused of treason / conspiracy with the enemy? Were they really just framed? But by hiding Zi Ang they actually committed something I would call treason? It is either a really big coincidence or something that could add another interesting twist to the plot.
- Zi Ang as a young boy and how the massacre impacted him. Show him as a boy crying in the Red Shadow Guard's training camp. His uncle being strict / nice to him, instilling the values of North Ji into a boy who grew up in South Hui.
- females, in general. I know this is BL and many BL fans / dramas don't treat women nicely. But it is also kind of sad that there are only 3 females who speak lines, all of them maids, and the longest dialogue is from the maid preparing tea for Shu He. What about their mothers for instance? ...which brings me to my last two points
- Shu He and his mother (and maybe even Shu Qian (bc imo they have the same mother)) in childhood. The contrast in upbringing from their father and their mother. What happened to her? What was she accused of to kill her? I think even Mi Jin would have profited from seeing an actress that was Shu He's mother. (He said he had trouble finding the right feelings for the scene)
- Zi Ang's mother and why she was killed. Shu He said in the poem the emperor of North Ji blames her for his misrule. What did she do? So many questions...
I read comments that they didn't understand the "sudden" switch from "love to hate to love to hate" again. But then again, I think Shu He himself takes a long time to come to terms with what wants and what he feels. He is put in an impossibly difficult situation - so it's difficult to convey.
2) Huai Yi - Was he Zi Ang's real foster brother? An imposter set up by North Ji? So many questions.
3) Yes. The explanation in canon doesn't make sense. I talked a lot about that with @Jasprin.
I think he was either poisoned by someone in North Ji's court (HY or someone else) - or it was some kind of poison that made him stronger (like steroids x100), but with devastating side effects.
4) Could have been explored more, but I agree with some other opinions: Only if it doesn't distract from the main narrative.
You can add as much as you want; if it had a proper budget, I imagine there could have been plenty more episodes. Reading all of your great comments makes me want to at least double the amount of episodes. :D
Plus: I have to add I would have wished for real flowers - if only for the close-ups.
though this year had some great BLs, and some yet to come like 10 Dance.
Shu He can see the deep love Zi Ang still has for his brother. Something he has in common with him, but something he also envies. He can in fact relate so much to those feelings, that he even gives into Prime Minister Gu’s demand to join the court(!).
Zi Ang is likewise captured by Shu He – his kind-hearted nature, the love for his brother, the deep conflict of wanting to escape and live in seclusion and his duty as the Sixth Prince. But more than anything Shu He is the first person since the massacre of his family to show him affection. And Zi Ang is starved of love, being raised as an assassin in the Red Shadow Guard. So he falls head over heels for Shu He. (🤫 it’s mutual though 🥰)
Then by episode 5, the arranged marriage makes both of them realize the depth of their feelings. Because Princess Wen Jing could be what both of them want not her, but the other one to be: the person they want to marry, to share their bed with, to be together for the rest of their life.
Here is what to look out for:
An unlikely encounter in ep1
Shu He leaves to get to Prime Minister Gu’s residence – instead he is taken captive by the mysterious assassin, Zi Ang. But Shu He doesn’t show fear or fight for his life. He is interested in the man restraining him: Why does he do those things?
The way Zi Ang holds him, the gentle, almost alluring way he is looking for the Jade token is in stark contrast to the situation. When Zi Ang leaves, Shu He recognizes the familiar back retreating.
To Zi Ang, Shu He must be equally fascinating – his old childhood friend, completely unfazed by the situation, even volunteering to help him.
The second time they meet is entirely staged by Zi Ang. However Shu He sees right through him and sets his own plan in action immediately. Which is to let Zi Ang lower his guard, and the way he does so is by “pretending” to be close. Of course, the problem is: what happens when the feigned closeness and familiarity becomes something real between them?
From episode 2-4/5:
Look for when to spot these little turning points, they are subtle at first, and later become more prominent as their feelings deepen. It's really rewarding. ❤️
Deeper analysis under the spoiler tag:
Yes, we'd all love another drama with them together as the leads, but it seems unlikely. T_T
I mean, he tried after finding out about his bloodline, but he had ample opportunity and time before that. The only canon explanation by Zi Ang is "I didn’t want to hide my only truth in lies "
Did he think it wasn’t that important? That he would have plenty of time to do so? Looking for the right moment (which he missed/ was then interrupted )?
The first episodes are quite fast-paced and a lot is happening, just a heads up. Not recommended when you're super tired or you'll blink and miss something.
The characters are multilayered, the leads have amazing chemistry, the dialogue feels like poetry at times.
Bonus: IF you have any questions or just want to chat - the comment section is full of lovely people too. 😉
Anyways, I don’t think about flags in general.
{Edit: These characters are far too complex to assign flags. And while I've read comments that made me giggle, like "DZA went from green to red/black to green flag" or "he is a forest of [red] flags", imo this is just ppl trying to make sense of the complexity they see on screen. Because what they see and the conflicting emotions they feel have to be processed. }
I think there were signs of Zi Ang’s possessiveness from early on.
{Edit: What he ended up doing was the worst he could do to Shu He. But I know why he did it. And in his misguided ways he meant well. That however, doesn't change the fact that he never tried to see it from Shu He's pov. He really should have listened to Huai Yi at least once; because it's NOT: "Whether he loves me or hates me is a matter of later." No, he should have thought about this.}
But I LOVE that he never forced anything sexual between them. This drama wouldn’t be my no. 1 if he had.
He hopes against all odds that his brother wouldn’t be that brutal.
Zi Ang wanted to protect him, but that’s not what Shu He wanted… and Zi Ang could have knocked Shu Qian unconscious and taken Shu He with him. I’m not sure that would have worked or made things better, but Zi Ang was not seeing Shu He’s pov at all.
Okay, let's dig into this! Btw, I added this to the "deep dives" forum post. This is too good and important to get lost. ;)
For everyone except Shu Qian, these are only ever estimates. XD
- HY: Could be a little bit older than you think, but I believe younger than XSQ, so at the time of his rescue, 4-6 y.o. seems likely. All of your sound reasoning with conditioning HY could still happen if he was a little bit older, imo.
Next I thought about Shu He in relation to Shu Qian.
1st and 6th prince: 4 male babies were born between them.
Their father likely had multiple wives, but how many? I think they'd only count legitimately born sons as princes (by a woman of proper status), not sons by some low concubine. So maybe 2-4 women?
Plus, while it is possible that the emperor had 6 sons in a row, no daughters at all, it's statistically unlikely (only around 2%) that no girls were born (--> for a 90-95% confidence 2-9 girls for 6 boys.)
So the age gap between Shu He and Shu Qian cannot be too narrow, with each pregnancy lasting 9 mo + recovery (so at least 1 - 1.5 years between births).
So imo, even with tight spacing between births and wives being pregnant at the same time (and death during/after childbirth being a real threat) at least a 3-4 years age gap between Shu Qian and Shu He seems likely. (For the real life counterparts I found a 4 year age gap).
But even with Shu He being a bit younger, I. think it still makes kind of sense. He would have been 10 around the time of the Duan massacre, and Zi Ang slightly older (2 years seems likely).
I think Huai Yi must be even younger. Shu He said (I think in ep 1 or 2) that the last time he saw him as a child he wasn't yet able to ride a horse - so that makes me think 5-7 years old. Because at age 9 I think he already should have been able to. But I don't know about the age to be ordained as a monk (again, great insight!). So let's assume he is 18 (youngest age possible) when we meet him again in the series.
So my guesses:
Ages when Shu Qian died:
Shu Qian - 24 years old
Duan Zi Ang - 23 years old
Shen Song - 22 years old
Shu He - 20-21 years old
Huo Ying - 21-23 years old
Duan Huai Yi - 18 years old
What do you think?
Yet, for a first kiss in a BL drama, this comes as close to perfection as I have ever seen. It touched something deep inside me, and from that moment, I knew this drama would hold a special place in my heart forever. I don’t know if I can do this moment justice, but I want to try. Also, I have a few (hopefully interesting) things to say about the translations of the original Chinese dialogue. ;)
(It's long, brace yourself)
Let’s revisit this together. :)
The lines Zi Ang says before their first and Shu He before their second kisses made me lose sleep. They made sense, and yet, in another way, they didn’t. While the show was airing, I felt they were as much foreshadowing as reflection, though I couldn’t fully place it without having seen the full drama. Did anyone else feel the same?
Zi Ang says, "我心甘情愿当这个替死鬼." Translated as "I'm more than willing to be the scapegoat."
In English, scapegoat implies taking blame for someone else, but Shu He was never blamed?
The Chinese term carries a different nuance, emphasizing sacrifice.
Zi Ang is essentially saying:
"If death is what it takes, let me be the one."
And it’s ture: just before this moment, he drank what he thought was poisoned wine, so it is not metaphorical. It is a declaration of love stronger than survival itself.
After their kiss, the perfection continues. Their breathing reflects the racing of their hearts, a masterful display by both actors. Zi Ang studies Shu He, wanting another kiss, but Shu He pulls away. Not because he doesn’t want to, but out of fear. One last act of defiance. But Zi Ang will not let him go.
Shu He finally removes his metaphorical and literal armor. He reveals his crippled hand, the cruel torture by his brother, who stole away one way of freedom within his cage for Shu He.
I think this is also very important, because lies and truth are a central theme throughout the series. And at this point, there are no lies from Shu He's side. Shu He is 100% truthful and genuine and has revealed absolutely everything to Zi Ang.
Yet, Zi Ang hasn't, and this is a major (the major?) discrepancy that will come into play in ep 8.
But back to the scene. ;)
Zi Ang is dismayed (rightfully so), and Shu He admits: "Back then, I could not protect mother. Now I cannot protect myself. I cannot protect you either." Zi Ang only asks if it hurts. He pledges to protect Shu He with all he has. This breaks down Shu He’s walls. God, I'm crying.
The turning point comes when Zi Ang says, "You are too hard on yourself." Shu He seeks one final confirmation: does Zi Ang share his dream for freedom?
Zi Ang answers: "山河万里只有你才是我想要的自由.
By the way, at this point I have to point out the poetry of Chinese language and the dialouge again. I’m sure many of you have seen both translations of this sentence by Zi Ang? The more literal (as on YT) and the more interpreted one from Gagaoolala:
Gaga: "in this vast land…
YT: "Ten thousand miles of mountains and rivers…
… you are the only freedom I want."
but Chinese really shines in the beauty of their characters – simple somehow, yet every Character is a picture, so in a way I feel it is almost a painting:
山 = mountains (shan)
河 = rivers (he)
万 = ten thousand (wan)
里 = ancient measure of length, approx. 500 m (li)
Shu He replies, "别让我再输一次,"
"Don’t let me lose again."
Again, I'd like for a small revision – because in English, "to lose" is too broad of a meaning – (in English you can: lose a person or an item). This is not true for shu 输. Shu in Chinese refers to games, competitions, bets. So "Don't let me be defeated again." is a less ambiguous, closer translation.
If we return to the motif of “Go” or “playing games” for Shu He, it reflects his greed. As he admits in Ep 12, he wanted too much, which led to his downfall. In Go, greedy moves can be powerful if you can defend your territory, but they also leave you vulnerable and can cost you the game. Shu He wants it all: freedom from royal duties, to be with Zi Ang, to find Huai Yi, and live happily ever after.
Whenever Shu He is associated with “games,” it signals decisions made for his own agency, when he pursues something for himself and not others. Ep 1 shows his desire for freedom, while Eps 6 and 12 show him wanting Zi Ang and freedom at the same time.
The line “Don’t let me be defeated again” carries so much weight. It is a plea, a warning, and a roundabout confession, not just about love. For Shu He, love is a gamble. He fears losing but also clings to hope that maybe Zi Ang will keep him safe, honor his promise, and allow him to have it all. It feels almost too good to be true.
Together, these two lines form the emotional axis of their story:
"I'm willing to be the scapegoat."
"Don't let me be defeated again."
Zi Ang vows to sacrifice everything for love.
Shu He pleas with Zi Ang not to let him lose what that sacrifice stands for.
And the foreshadowing is perfect.
Zi Ang will be the one to make Shu He suffer the most. Shu He will lose everything, mostly by Zi Ang’s own hands. Yet this collision of two souls reveals that their only chance at freedom and love is through each other, even if it leads to their downfall.