FL escaped the ugly and painful past to Seoul, but never really got to process/heal from all of that. She just escaped. That's why IMO it makes perfect sense that everything is still raw. I've been in that situation where everything's still raw and that's how it's like when you merely cover your inner wounds with bandage. The bandage doesn't heal the wounds. Her wounds are still festering under all those bandages, pushed to the back part of her heart.
At first I didn't get why she came back to her hometown (only due to jealousy?) but no, the last ep showed a bigger/deeper reason why and IMO it's justifiable, considering what the grandpa had entrusted her with. So considering all these things, makes perfect sense why she's in a state of emotional turmoil all the time.
All the comments/stares by the hometown people exposed her festering wounds that she'd kept hidden away during her years in Seoul. The harsh comments and the painful flashbacks of the past were like needles and arrows stabbing her wounds, making them bleed again.
When one has reached a certain level of healing, when the wounds have stopped bleeding and over the years have become dry and left scar tissues, you can still feel the dull pain/ache when the scar tissues are prodded and stabbed, but in FL's case, her wounds are still raw 'coz they didn't have a chance to heal just yet...the road to healing from complex pain can be SO SO SO long and winding. Been there, done that. It's like healing layers and layers of pain/hurt/trauma. It's not a straight walk across the road, but it's like a rollercoaster, exhausting journey.
I feel for FL so much when she was reminiscing the past on the rooftop and then she said to SML, "All my other childhood friends seem happy now, living in the same town. Why am I the only one who ran away from it?"
More glimpse to her past showed how an A-hole ahjussi (in a drunken state) blamed her for having ruined her dad's life and for having made her dad's mother die. Also the way her mother and brother died seemed tragic. It was implicit, but it was probably the event that made her hate her dad. During the convo between FL and her dad, it seemed that he was with Su Ji when her heavily pregnant mother needed him the most (and I assume she didn't get medical help soon enough, so she and the baby were dead).
I also feel for her when she said that she was angry at herself. I've been in that place, too, angry at myself because I was triggered so much (so I acted out/lashed out at people who didn't deserve it) because of my (bleeding) inner wounds. It's clear that her inner wounds are still kinda raw. Now she's surrounded again by all the triggers that made her leave that place. To have someone (ML) who had been her safe haven in the past, but also connected so much to her bitter past (esp. 'coz he still lives there)...it's like ML embodies both poison and healing properties at the same time. That's probably why she keeps saying with such vehemence, "I HATE people who know everything about my (ugly) past."
me too . What hurts the most is that there are still women like her in our current time
Ah, sorry, forgot to add: she finally got a divorce and she's found a new husband now and has a kid (she fortunately had no kid with the abusive man). But still it sickened me to think her mother thinks more about "losing face" than the safety of her daughter. Geez...
me too . What hurts the most is that there are still women like her in our current time
Indeed. One High School friend of mine got married to an abusive husband and when she told her parents she wanted a divorce, her mom asked her not to do that 'coz she was worried of rumours. Geez, aunty, you care more about what other people say than your abused daughter??????? 😡😡😡 And this family isn't even poor. Kinda rich. Crazyyyyyy...
Agree. And due to her broken self-image, the more love she gets from Mudan, the more she feels she doesn't deserve…
Yeah, we shall see about Shengyi. Another scene that broke my heart was when she was crying and repeating her new name "Sheng...yi...Sheng...yi" as if she really wanted to try to become that person.
Just thinking about being born then as a woman, I shudder in fear he he he...even if you're born as a noble woman, you'd be doomed if you're married forcefully to an A-hole (also if there are other wives etc.). YIKES!
Shengyi one of the most realistic characters I have ever seen. They really nailed her character, it's not easy…
Agree. And due to her broken self-image, the more love she gets from Mudan, the more she feels she doesn't deserve it (so the more she runs away from it). It breaks my heart (this vicious cycle). Also when she mentioned her gender being a disadvantage during that period. Watching this drama makes me feel glad I wasn't born then.
At first I didn't get why she came back to her hometown (only due to jealousy?) but no, the last ep showed a bigger/deeper reason why and IMO it's justifiable, considering what the grandpa had entrusted her with. So considering all these things, makes perfect sense why she's in a state of emotional turmoil all the time.
All the comments/stares by the hometown people exposed her festering wounds that she'd kept hidden away during her years in Seoul. The harsh comments and the painful flashbacks of the past were like needles and arrows stabbing her wounds, making them bleed again.
When one has reached a certain level of healing, when the wounds have stopped bleeding and over the years have become dry and left scar tissues, you can still feel the dull pain/ache when the scar tissues are prodded and stabbed, but in FL's case, her wounds are still raw 'coz they didn't have a chance to heal just yet...the road to healing from complex pain can be SO SO SO long and winding. Been there, done that. It's like healing layers and layers of pain/hurt/trauma. It's not a straight walk across the road, but it's like a rollercoaster, exhausting journey.
More glimpse to her past showed how an A-hole ahjussi (in a drunken state) blamed her for having ruined her dad's life and for having made her dad's mother die. Also the way her mother and brother died seemed tragic. It was implicit, but it was probably the event that made her hate her dad. During the convo between FL and her dad, it seemed that he was with Su Ji when her heavily pregnant mother needed him the most (and I assume she didn't get medical help soon enough, so she and the baby were dead).
I also feel for her when she said that she was angry at herself. I've been in that place, too, angry at myself because I was triggered so much (so I acted out/lashed out at people who didn't deserve it) because of my (bleeding) inner wounds. It's clear that her inner wounds are still kinda raw. Now she's surrounded again by all the triggers that made her leave that place. To have someone (ML) who had been her safe haven in the past, but also connected so much to her bitter past (esp. 'coz he still lives there)...it's like ML embodies both poison and healing properties at the same time. That's probably why she keeps saying with such vehemence, "I HATE people who know everything about my (ugly) past."
Receptionist: "Kwon."
2nd ML: "Not that...your full name, please."
Receptionist: "Mister Kwon." (in English) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Also when 2nd ML accidentally broke the staircase's finial! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just thinking about being born then as a woman, I shudder in fear he he he...even if you're born as a noble woman, you'd be doomed if you're married forcefully to an A-hole (also if there are other wives etc.). YIKES!