grapejuice

This is such a great rundown reminder as to why people shouldn't give up on our ML. That's a lot of evidence here that works in his favour, supporting the fact that he is a good guy in many ways (if not all). 😂

She would definitely be the one ...

YES !!! You know that was the first thing I wondered. The FL knows that Lady Zhao has really been through it. Genuinely deep and disturbing things have happened to and because of her. And yet here she is in the capital. Wearing yet another face. But still serving her family's interests. Being used again.

She might truly appreciate some honesty, some genuine respect for her survival skills if nothing else. And she probably really needs a decent friend. In fact, I bet she would pay dearly to have one.

There have been huge moments in history where a lot of people , large groups, and even whole nations have had to walk back from having gone a long way down the wrong road.

Think about after apartheid in SA. After ww2. After the Civil Rights Movement in the USA and, hopefully, after the next American elections. But there are more examples through history.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes not so well. But life goes on ...

So, I'm curious to see how the writers here (as well as the director and the actors) show it happening between just two people. Truth and reconciliation on just a personal level?

Maybe there will be something instructive in it for us all to see. You never know.

I wonder how LanXiang is going to get Ji'er's papers out of Zhao Xing Tang. Do you think she might remember seeing a pair of very large feet or whatever that was that happened in the library? I'm thinking these remembrances would help. Or rather ... promising to forget them forever ...

haha. In the navy ... for six years ...

Isn't she just an incidental side character? It would be nice to see her in another drama in a much bigger part but I don't think she has a large role in this one. Not that I would mind being wrong...

TY for the link ...
She was so annoying at the beginning and ... now ... please ! please ! please ! let her be able to live that better good life. She so deserves it.

This is valuable. In fact, I think you have nailed it completely.

We are products of our time, class, gender, upbringing, life experience ... We get molded by the expectations and the rules that go with each of these things in ways that we aren't even aware of. How we think, feel and act. How we see and understand things. What we anticipate and expect.

And then, maybe, we are opened up to new learning, perspectives, beliefs etc. by the people and situations that we encounter during our lives.

It's not an excuse to acknowledge this reality, We have to understand it in order to really understand people (ourselves and others).
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So, by broadening his experience ... maybe LJQ can, as you say, learn to be a good person unconditionally, treating all people male or female as genuine equals, regardless of background ... and, thereby, he may become someone worthy of LX.

Yes. I like this very much. (And btw you write very well).

edit/addition: to be fair the FL has some things that she could learn too before she can thoroughly understand some of the things that are happening around her as well as the person that she's now married to. It will even improve her playwriting.. :-)

That's right! Wu Mama was talking about setting him up with a successful commoner; someone whose family was in some other kind of work and not servitude. I guess to her that would be the right kind of step up for her son. She's definitely swallowed (hook, line and sinker) the hierarchical thinking of her masters.

We modern people have a harder time only thinking about marriage as a transaction that elevates you to a higher plane in life. We think about foolish things like respect and love and, common values and goals. But life hasn't always had such things on the table for marriage.

And maybe I'm naive too. I always watch kdramas and cdramas thinking how mercenary the families are ... wanting certain surface successful traits in their prospective in laws. Like always looking for a way up or to be more secure. My own life has been much simpler with no thought to moving up in life. LoL

Actually, I wonder if JG and Nanke are free commoners in the military or they are indentured to the Lin family only ... as Yuchan is. Maybe Wu Mama is counting on her son being made free if he isn't already. And then why would she want him involved with a slave.

Oh my, this stuff is complicated.

I appreciate this very much. I hate the red/green/black flag boxes and the way that people just drop a character into only one of them.

For me, I have a real thing about people judging one another. It's important to judge situations and behaviours but I don't think that you can judge a person based on one trait or one good/bad deed. That singular trait. That one action. When people are so complex and multi faceted. And we live so long. And we have so many complicated situations that we have to live in. That kind of judgement can never be entirely fair or accurate.

It's like cancelling somebody who's in a scandal. Especially when there are only surface facts little context and you can't know somebody's true motivations or the fullness of the situation. It doesn't make sense to write people off. Even if they are guilty of one thing, they may have lived as a good person doing wonderful things up until then. Or they may pull themselves together, truly learn something and then live with regret doing all kinds of good things for the rest of their lives. We just can't know.

People talk about loving grey characters without really realizing that we are all grey characters in a world where it's not that hard to thoroughly screw up for no good reason or no visible one. And reasons are real. They aren't just excuses. We do things for reasons.

In this case, the ML has carried out some truly reprehensible actions but nobody should be judged by two actions especially if they turn around and really become a better person because of it. He's been incredibly selfish among other things but, for all we know these are the only selfish things he has done or ever will do in his entire life.

The behaviors, the actions themselves, can be judged in context. That's relatively easy (although dichotomies like good/bad are not always so useful). But it's not so easy to judge a whole person. That's way too simple a thing to do in a complex world.

I think her eyes did scan a bit ... although she kept it to that probably with great effort and determination :-)

TY. There are some profound lyrics in that quiet little song ... "Footsteps growing deeper and then lighter" in the snow as time passes ...

Mmmm. I think it's something to consider. It's not happening now but it will happen at some point in the future when they eventually go back.

I honestly think he's confused by her behaviour while she's having those flashbacks to her past.

I mean, she's silent when she should speak to the elders and others. She's spacing out at the new place and hugging his niece one minute but pushing her away the next. She frankly looks somewhat pained and overwhelmed.

Everyone else would have no clue to explain it but he has two possible theories (1) she's pissed at him and protesting to others or (2) she's grieving the loss of someone she loved.

We know that her spacing out is grief at the loss of loved ones but he's taking it as consistent with her grieving the loss of Han which fiats better than anger. Because it doesn't fit with anger.

So, he's kind of got the tone right but his attribution is wrong.

Oh I kinda forgot about her being married before. The son doesn't care, obviously, but that explains why his mom isn't all down for it. Yuchan isn't a virgin and she's divorced. How scandalous.

So, Yuchan might not consider herself ever to be on the market again and ... Mom probably thinks her baby is a complete innocent ... which he might be, relatively speaking, in comparison ... but ... somehow me thinks that might not totally be the case :-) lol

omg. now. now. come back from the brink on those ideas.

But, haha, he did say something in the last episode about having considered doing something like what his boss had done but then he saw his boss get slapped and that scared him into changing his mind. So he's got to think of some other alternative to convince Yuchan and his mother.

Poor cutie is really up against it isn't he? You might be right about heartbreak.

So, she would go back to being just a cut above servant again but would probably be ok by being useful and staying out of trouble?

I'm pretty sure that the sister and Marquis are on their way to the capital with everyone else so only the very youngest two kids would remain. And they both love our girl.

So, Yuchan is not taking him seriously because he is younger than her and/or because they grew up together? Or does their age gap and history mean that she actually took care of him when he was a small child. Or maybe she's just not interested in marriage ... or marriage to him in particular? I'm confused about these two. But I like him well enough to hope that gets what he wants and they can be happy together.

I think LJQ is honestly worried that his new wife was in love with Han and/or she respected and liked him better than she will ever respect and like him. It's like jealousy and fear that he's married to someone in love with someone else ... like the first time he was married. He's apprehensive that he's not a good enough person while Han is. Like he's no match for Han in LanXian's eyes.

So, I don't understand why people are saying that LJQ is using Han as a scapegoat for his own actions. It doesn't feel, to me, like ML is using Han as any kind of excuse. That doesn't fit or make sense to me.

The only excuse he's used is that he thought he would not ever be allowed to marry her and he thought she'd be in some danger because of him if he didn't have her close to easily protect her. He's said outright that he loves her and hopes to make her love him too ... so it's obvious that he has to have her close in order to win her over.

But none of that has anything to do with Han.