grapejuice

do a google search and you'll find a few places... "watch dramaname free online" ... don't ask here or places like this in case that helps to shut them down

for about 3 ep kind of ... but not really ... and HE ... or that's just life ending

When I feel like this, which I have several times lately, I just step away for awhile to do and watch other things. And then come back when I have some time and watch from the beginning. With expectations and frustrations gone, I find I can just enjoy it again. With the MDL arguments faded from my mind everything looks better. Most importantly, with the sleep deprivation and exhaustion gone, everything feels betternand I can just enjoy it again. Haha. Sorry. I don't know if this is helpful or will just come off as preachy (which it is not meant to be). I'm tired and you sound tired too so ... maybe a break will help. :-)

There are definite similarities and the production values are high for both dramas. Strong characters and themes and something that's just ... satisfyingly unique.

What you're saying are the rules are only rules that apply to nobility who are too proud to lower themselves to business and some other kinds of lowly or feminine pursuits. What did commoner men do in life besides serve in the military? There are things for the ML to do if he deigns to do them. Like inspect the books and help to protect the considerable landed wealth they already have, or expand it.

The thing is that people do retire in life. Then, as well as now, and the problem of what to do with yourself is a real one that everyone will eventually face. We're lucky to have time to spend as we want to spend it. There are wealthy people who manage it throughout life. You live. You learn. Maybe you travel and try new things you haven't done before. You also spend more time with family, concerning yourself with small matters and domestic things while the world concludes that you are now less useful. Some of what people are criticizing in the ML is his having retired to home, hearth and family which are all associated with women and children and , traditionally seen as, less 'useful' or less important beings.

Maybe the ML just needs to hole up in his study all the time like grandfather does. stay in there and read and paint and avoid the births and goings on of women. Nobody criticizes him for doing nothing.

I hear you and I think your criticisms are legitimate but did you hear what @thatgirlsagenius said? We've been putting up with these kinds of plots, ad infinitum. How many dramas do you think there have been where the ML is strong and brilliant while the FL is completely useless, much worse than just a simp: outright stupid and cowardly but soo pretty with silly voices and nonsensical behaviors.

And you've said that you'll avoid dramas directed and written by women in the future ... but not all of the male simp dramas are directed and written by women so, really can you defend that point? This is a passing trend. It likely wont last long because the backlash will be harsh and swift. Maybe there will be a handful before it ends while the archives and even the active files out there are filled with FLs who are completely humiliating to watch.

Finally, and I'm serious. What is a simp my friend? What you desceibe as being a simp is just a Ml who has more feminine characteristics. They stay at home. They care about, focus and even dote on their spouse and child. They stop carrying weapons 24/7 and listen to other people before removing their heads. Of course that last bit is a small exaggeration.

It's difficult to listen to criticisms like yours, knowing that what you really despise is "feminine" traits being given to MLs while some "masculine" traits find their way to the FL. Men hate being accused of feminine traits and it will always be difficult for women to process that hate because at least a small portion of it implies that you hate us.

Until those traits can land in either gender there will be some kind of horrible twistedness in dramas and life.

edit with major SPOILERS ... The Road to Splendor was a fine drama but the FL had been totally deteriorated by the end. She stopped communicating. She looked not to have any idea what the ML was going through. And her capabilities were neutered. I thought the ending was useful. The moral was the same as it is here: don't get too close to royal power lest it burns you and don't forfeit your life to your job when you could live it instead. But the FL is being roundly criticized for asking the ML to leave the capital in this drama because it is part of what makes him a simp. The truth is that it was just smart for him to leave.

I totally agree about First Madam. She is truly a great character. A very well rounded, proud, intelligent woman with terrible matchmaking skills and unfortunate marital experiences but two pretty amazing children and a remarkably close, surprisingly genuine friendship with her maid ... She's truly impressive and ... interesting. Discerning, level headed, insightful, funny and very clear eyed as well as, ultimately, quite open minded.

Absolutely ... and I don't know if you noticed the actor's pic in the cast list but the actor is young looking , vibrant and really quite beautiful. I searched her age and she may be as young as early to mid thirties.

So, the look and demeanor of an older plainer woman that she managed to pull off ... on top of the many subtle scenes, the humor and the very emotional performances too ... It's all a huge testament to her acting skills ... and the make up department's skill as well ... all very impressive.

The doctor described cancer without saying cancer, I think.

The family owns all kinds of businesses and properties so I think he probably has things to do if he wants to oversee it himself. He would at least inspect the books.

Actually her marriage to Scholar Han could have been loveless and put her in the capital as the wife of a court official near the throne. In other words, that wouldn't have worked so well ... even for just those two reasons ... before we get into The Double comparisons :-) Divorce sounds likely.

I totally agree. This crossed my mind too.

There's just one thing about it that immediately made sense to me though. For a woman to make it independently and big in business, it more or less has to be an illegal enterprise, brothel , loan shark, pirate ... ZXT was a crook and then LX taught her how to hide money ... so I'm interested to see how Du has made being a pirate into a success for herself ...

and I want to know how Ji'er is doing too. Maybe she can do well in a legit business. :-)

Who's couple analogy is this? And where is it used in real life today?
Captain and Navigator?
Female/in the home and family? Male/provider?
Sounds like a very old idea to me ...

oh my. Excellent point ...

Add in the way that she broke down at the grave site and the things that she said at the opera house ...

I had to look it up because it was bothering me so much to only half understand the term Mary Sue ... so ...

the idea of a Mary Sue originally comes from a Star Trek episode where a character is introduced to Captain Kirk and answers his questions. She answers in a way that gives a strong impression, that she is a perfect person living a charmed existence. He listens and then quickly dismisses her without a second thought.

So, it's a totally over the top kind of name. So over the top that people began to associate Mary Sue characters with amateur writing; particularly fan fiction where the writers were said to be using their characters as personal avatars, making them into a form or kind of wish fulfillment.

So, the term is used wrongly when applied to LanXiang (she's not perfect and certainly not living a charmed existence where all goes right for her) ... and also ... using the term about LX ... is a major slag on a very accomplished professional writer.

In other words, people probably shouldn't use the term Mary Sue in this context.

yes. this sounds about right ... and ... kml2 :-)

I only want to see what the writer wants to write. How does she want to end the story? I'm sure her story would be a whole lot better than mine. Of course, I'd like to see our FL heal and live a good life but that's all and I know that the writer is going to accomplish this somehow even with deaths and moves and troubles coming and going.

I keep wondering how people think she should have acted at the wedding and in the period afterward? How do people think they would have acted if they were her?

The day before, she was free. The next day she was a prisoner again. And if she hadn't shown some attitude people would have accused her of wanting to be there, somehow wheedling or seducing her way into JQs heart and a better position in life. No. She had to do her best to show that that wasn't the case or she would have become the villain instead of the victim.

So, I don't think she was acting stupidly. I'm sure I can't convince you because you've said this before but, seriously, I think she thought it through and decided quite consciously that the best plan was to be bold and strong. and take no prisoners. She knew something of the family already. She knew they wouldn't abuse her and, regardless, she would find a way to survive.

Again, about the ML. I'm not sure what people think they want him to be. Someone else pointed out that he has always been one man with the women in his life and quite another man when he's with men. And he's spending more time with family and women at the moment so I guess people would prefer that he play chess, practice martial arts (with no shirt on) and go out to drink and gamble with the boys? He was never that man before. But I guess it would be more masculine and not joke-worthy.

I agree that she hides or is unable to express her feelings. And it's an armor; conscious but more unconscious. She's always been careful, stands back to observe whenever she can. She reminds me of a monk at times with the quiet and calm stillness that she often has. Observing from the side.

We haven't seen her smile or laugh much except when she was at home with her parents or when she was feeling relaxed with her equals and the people that she chose for herself. And, of course, when she was filled with excitement starting a new life after freeing herself and her parents. Even aside from the marriage, losing that was the second tragic event of her life.

It's a shame really. She was kind of placid even as a child so it's partly, at least, her temperament but life has kind of forced her into corners and she, figuratively, never turns her back to the door.

Anyway, I don't think we should expect or even hope to see more expression from her. At least not a lot. Maybe when she gets to make the world her own again insofar as she can in a world she didn't choose.

People always want to see an introvert be more like an extrovert. But that's not fair. it's asking her to be a different person when there's nothing wrong with the way that she is.

The play that she wrote. The one that everyone in the capital wanted to see. The one that women banded together to rent rooms for performances so that they could see it. You could make a dent in the world of women with a vehicle like that.