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Here’s the chain of events that led to her suspicions:
1. The ledger was the first major clue.
She came across Madam Zhao’s ledger and noticed that the cover and the contents didn’t match. After seeing Madam Zhao’s extreme reaction and tantrum over it, she must have realized that something was seriously wrong and likely confirmed that Madam Zhao was involved in illegal dealings.
2. She realized the ML was investigating his wife.
Around the same time, the ML was asking J’ier to spy on his wife. By this point, the FL already knew that the relationship between the married couple was strained. She also understood that the ML was investigating Madam Zhao and that there was something about his wife that he was trying to uncover.
3. Madam Zhao’s behavior made her suspicious of an affair.
Then Madam Zhao became extremely jittery and agitated and started throwing things around after the entertainer’s story was interrupted. That behavior would naturally make the FL suspicious.
And remember, the FL has a very curious and observant mind. We saw this when she questioned her father about how slavery works and was trying to understand it.
At this point, she also noticed one of the Mandarin duck seals in the ledger and remembered that it was supposed to be part of a pair. Her own mother had prepared a matching seal for her as part of her dowry. Since she already knew that the married couple’s relationship was far from harmonious, she naturally became curious about why the seals were being used and, more importantly, whose seal the other half belonged to.
4. The ML asking for her personal seal connected the dots.
When the ML asked for her personal stamp to put on the paperwork for arranging accommodation for his savior’s sister, the FL may have realized that he could also be investigating the seal.
That is why I think she deliberately picked up the Mandarin duck seal and tested it against her hand to see whether the character matched the one recorded in the ledger.
When it didn’t match, that was essentially confirmation for her: the seal in the ledger belonged to the other person, which strongly suggested that Madam Zhao was in love with someone else.
And that’s why I think she quietly hid the seal under her fur coat. At that point, she had put enough pieces together to understand what was really going on—and she realized that exposing the truth could potentially cost her life as well along with Madam Zhao's.
On the other hand, I think FL had some feelings for the ML as her mom was teasing her with the yellow talisman she got during their visit to the temple.
For once I am glad that the actors of around the same age are acting together rather than one lead in their 30s and another in their late teens.
Both the leads are an excellent performers.
But I don’t think the tea was poisoned. I interpreted that scene as him kind of saying goodbye to his wife as he sets his plan in motion, knowing that he now has a spy in place.
That still doesn’t justify the affair.
She also treats her maids terribly—hitting and slapping them over even the smallest mistakes.
If her bitterness really came from being denied an education, she could have spent the last six years studying at her in-laws’ house. Instead she grew spiteful and started treating everyone around her like garbage.
It also seems she was never truly faithful to her husband. She told her lover-cousin that she had given him that couple token years ago.
The downfall of the Yu family wasn't satisfactory enough.
Otherwise, he looks like a typical male who knows what he wants and is open about it.
On the other hand, the FL is clueless. She wants a mind reader for a partner. She sets the boundaries and wants others to read her mind and break them whenever she feels like it. I am having a hard time understanding her character and sympathizing with her, as her emotions are all over the place.