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Did you watch it on Netflix? I want to watch it for years, but unfortunately it is not available here.
I think everything revolves around memories. We cannot be sure that what we saw was what happened. Also, I think the part when she admitted to her husband that she was the killer was also part of MY's father memories.
The thing is that MY's mother was a person that we only saw through memories. We can't be sure of how she really was, when she was living with her family. Her husband described everything when he was sick, and MY remembered everything as a child. The character that we saw may have been different from the reality. Not completely, since MY's mother was clearly unstable, but I think you understand what I mean.
But you are right, that they could have handled it a little bit differently. It also depends on what point of view it is seen by the viewers. Also, many people said that it was the head nurse and that took the magic of the whole MY's mother case. It was speculated from the first episodes and after that everyone was more attentive to her behaviour, even the people that didn't notice it from that early on, so it was obvious that it was her.
MY's mother showed up, because it seemed like her daughter was going to be happy. For her, she was her work of art, a human without feelings and full of misery just like herself. She didn't want to see her happy and she wasn't capable of love. She left her alone as a being without emotions, so why show up? When she saw that there was a glimpse of her being happy, she wanted to destroy her. She stayed in the hospital just to torment her husband and make him as miserable as possible.
Also pretending and show love is something completely different. She could pretend, because of her own selfish reasons. She really didn't care about any of the patients (she gave the knife to the one MY tried to stab in the first episode, so he could kill himself). She didn't pretend with MY, because her goal was to make her a a monster. She was just being a nurse to torment her husband and to keep an eye on MY.
Obviously MY's actions are not justified, but she is who she is. She may be flawed but her and the rest of the protagonists had a major character development throughout the series. She helped the others, like they helped her. Was she logical and her actions were sane? No. But she was human and I think that that is what this series is trying to say (for me anyways). It pushes the viewers to understand every character's point of view. It doesn't mean that you will agree with their actions. It means that you will try to understand them just like in real life. The fact that you disagree with MY's actions doesn't mean she is a bad character or that she is a perfect human being. She is who she is and not everyone could be understanding of that. She is another person that is different from others in a way that may seem offending, but she herself doesn't really understand that. Besides she has a mental condition. Let's not forget that.
Also, even though the series is slow at times, I think the fact that you fast forwarded scenes was not really a good choice. Every word and gesture of every character was significant for their development. That is just my opinion. I just wanted to state how I personally felt about the series and the characters without invalidating your opinion.
Have a nice day.
P.S It was stated that MY's father has cognitive and memory problems, because of his condition so probably what we saw about the fact that he "killed" his wife was something that he remembered wrong.
This series will be greatly missed.