S1234

Hope this is not a she and her perfect husband part 2 and takes 200 years to air.

Agree Asian mothers especially can be very toxic. Especially since they themselves faced misogyny all their lives. This friend now is in deep trouble since her marriage got delayed so much that now she has difficulty conceiving and guess who the mom will blame if she fails to conceive … it’s a nightmare really. Thankfully I did not go through this, but almost half of my friends have gone through this. A boy I knew (his mom stopped him from marrying someone he loved) just changed. He did what his mom asked him to do but became very rude and mean to everyone including his wife chosen by his mom. Parents Asian parents are super toxic.

I am romanticising no one. I am talking about agency. I come from a place where sometimes women are just not free to even make mistakes. See what’s happening in the world around you especially in South Asia and other extremely conservative cultures. That’s where I am coming from. even the female lead knows she is probably making a mistake, but the beauty of living in modern times in the art world that she inhabits, no one will judge her and she is strong and talented and she will recover.
I am talking about hypocrisy here, where we say a man should go for looks whilst a girl cannot. It’s a bit weird to explain I think because I am coming from a context and maybe it’s hard to type on a forum. So let’s leave it at that.
Also any relationship can get super toxic. Life experiences, bereavements, health mishaps, financial troubles can corrode and toxify the best of relationships. This is what my life of living on this planet for 35 odd years have taught me. Most of the times even if you have an awesome guy, motherhood, misogyny, peoples expectations will ensure that you never get to put yourself first anyways. This is why I feel that she thought in her heart that “I really like this guy. I am gonna go for it. I will be prepared for the consequences and I know I am so strong that I will live this through.” The drama to me is an embodiment of her growth as a person and as an artist. The last sculpture that she made was so beyond beautiful and she also stopped being a girl and became a woman. I just find the whole story to be a symbolic awakening of her person which is why I like this a lot.

I am in my thirties too and I find this relationship not bad since I have seen such relationships. In fact a relationship where the people are too good to be true almost always fails. Another thing maybe since I am south Asian it colours my perspective- the society forces you to go for the right guy even if you are not yourself attracted. A much older often up to 20 years older, not so attractive guy is forced upon you since he is right for you. Women who marry men because they were attracted are judged pretty harshly including with actual violent “honour” attacks. Having watched the drama where the female lead willingly makes a mistake having the confidence that she will ride it through, is super empowering to me. We need to have the agency to make our mistakes and own up to them. I think that’s the real message of this drama

Also the guy is not as toxic as people claim him to be. In fact a guy who appears too perfect would most likely be toxic. Which is why you see near perfect fairy tale marriages always ending in a split.

Exactly. I saw it with forecasting love and weather too. The first few episodes were so good. Then the writer bungled up the episodes and the actors also lost interest

That’s exactly what I am agreeing with everyone. Why use the cliche and make the family the villain. Why not show dialogue and people sitting down and talking to their families and working things out. Instead of the formulaic let’s break up at ep 14. Lots of unnecessary drama but the real issues don’t get resolved. So in a nutshell I agree with the larger sentiments of the people here. But I also want to add why do Korean dramas make dissent into complete disbandment. “We don’t agree with your choice so ergo you both break up. But don’t talk to us, rather breakup and Keep crying. Rinse repeat ad nauseam every single drama. “ 🙄

I don’t understand why people have a problem with family members not approving at first. It does not extend to only autism. Mental illnesses such as people with BPD or schizophrenia or physical difficulties too. The thing is family members understand that day to day living might be hard so it maybe hard for them to be supportive.
But what I don’t understand why people have a problem with conflict. If your family members have a problem you can have a dialogue with them convince them. Rome was not built in a day. It’s up to you as a couple that you can do it.
Which is why I love the Japanese drama perfect world so much. The show did not get judgy judgemental. The drama was a beautiful portrayal about how the paralysed lead could take care of the man’s daughter. They explored the father’s thought process, his emotions and then through a way of organic storytelling showed how the communication was handled. The father’s approval of his daughters relationship was such a huge emotional pay off for me. The Japanese drama is the best example of how to handle everyone’s perspective and treat it with respect while coming to a mutually perfect happy ending.
This drama should not treat the family members of the boy callously. Rather it should handle with more sensibility and let them both navigate the ups and downs without making family members as villains.

Thank you everyone

That’s what I am talking about. Instead of viewing it from a feminist lens this issue could have been tackled with a “country future” lens. It does seem like the author has an axe to grind to her viewers. All the women are smart and all the men are evil or not too intelligent in this drama (save for her dad). I am a south Asian and I have lived with extreme misogyny my whole life. So it’s not like I do not understand the writers intentions but there is a way to express their points and it is too blunt and not subtle in this drama. A lot arguments presented are opinions within the cases while the lawyers could have presented facts. For example this case - instead of saying women feel discriminated (it’s a feeling not logic), facts could have been presented that - GDP growth of Korea (even lower than Japan), birth rate (lower than Japan). I mean the jury would have sat up and listened. No Korean would want to be up ended by Japan of all of the places. But we get only emotions and opinions and feelings presented as arguments or data (info dump by lawyer woo.) There are no convincing remarks or closing arguments. In “I hear your voice” there was a story of the magpie with the plate. It sounded so convincing. A good lawyer has to woo and seduce the audience, not make them even more angry with judgemental remarks. If I am not wrong lawyers do study negotiation skills, human behaviour and psychology as undergrad courses, so they can sound more convincing. I don’t see the lawyers using those skills within this drama.

Song hye Kyo is very pretty and I like to watch her. I admit, I can be shallow where I like watching her on screen. On the other hand I also love watching heartfelt shows like “dear my friends”.
I wish we saw more duality (good looking + amazing performance) for example Jamie Bower as Vecna or James Dean. (How much I have wished he was alive).
Conversely I also wish we had plainer looking people too. disproportionately we have plainer looking male leads but not a single one plain female lead.
But I hear you, we like what we like. The same way people don’t like Song Hye Kyo, I cannot stand Jun Ji Hyun, I don’t like her acting and her nasally whiney voice and run a mile before I see any of her show. I just can’t

Did not know that. Thank you 🙏😊

Yes I agree on agendas and wealth. It’s so obvious. And people are also stuck in this “chakravyuh” (sorry I cannot think of a way to translate this word unfortunately) thinking. Also I guess I have watched a lot of court proceedings of other countries - UK, india, USA and sometimes the lawyers do address larger social issues to drive home a point to the jury. The best example I can think of is Matthew macoughney as a lawyer in time to kill, he tells the jury “imagine that the girl who was killed is white”. Another movie is Pink, where the lawyer address the judge by saying “no is a sentence in itself. “ I felt that the vegetable growing lawyer just lacked punch.

I felt something missing in episode 12. What I mean is that Korea is sitting on a demographic time bomb. It’s a tiny country of only 50 million people and it’s population is expected to drop to 36 million by 2070. This is literally a crisis in the making since this affects everything from society to economic stagnation, stagflation, recession etc. Korea has the LOWEST BIRTH RATE IN THE WORLD (imagine amongst 190 odd countries, source: The World Bank, 2020). If this continues, Korea as a country will lose 80 percent of its population by 2130 (according to mathematical simulations).
I don’t understand why this was not highlighted by anyone that this extreme way of penalising workers is making women have less children and it’s damaging. Also don’t jurists rule looking at the implications of a ruling on society also? Why did the rooftop vegetable growing lawyer did not address these issues during jury closing remarks. Just being idealistic without being smart is not helpful.
We see many episodes within this drama of single women (north Korea defector), woman being abused by husband ep 1 and lottery case, but the wider social implications are sometimes missing.
i am sorry if I continue to review everything through an economics or finance lens because thats what I am. However we analysts feel that none of the countries in crisis sitting on a time bomb actually are thinking of it and with this drama, you can see that.

I initially dropped it at ep 1 thinking this was a horrible drama. But I was wrong. This is one of my top romantic dramas. Non toxic hero, not too many scheming people. Overall a wonderful drama. Sometimes the same boring formula can be redone wonderfully to create magic.

Yes I agree, he has written to be very dim. And I liked what they showed in this episode.

Exactly. It’s a business decision and a lot of financial risk is undertaken by the production houses. These kind of shows generate the cash flows which then allow the production houses to have the creative and artistic freedom to sponsor amazing shows such as “dear my friends” (critically acclaimed but maybe not so commercial).

Why is it wrong to have a drama headlined by an actor known for being pretty? It’s a niche just like social dramas (dear my friends), and action dramas (all Lee Joong Gi dramas). People like to watch him. Where I stay in Asia pacific region, I have seen how popular he is. Wherever I went be it a parlour, or a gym or a cafe, I would find girls (South East Asian or South Asian) talk about true Beauty and how much they loved it because of him. That’s all everyone talked about all through Quarter 1 2021. Who are we to judge other peoples tastes and choices. If they like him they like him. That’s it.
Being liked is also a talent since it means that the drama production house will recover its costs if they cast actors who are liked. In these difficult times, return on investment is such a concern for margin squeezed production houses. COVID protocols, advance shooting dramas are affecting them. It’s important for everyone employed in a drama for it to do well. Do read up on what happened to Faith (2012) which bombed in Korea and the director had to commit suicide. People will only cast those they think will Help them recover costs.

Every single actor has a niche, also being a heartthrob is not bad in itself. A lot of it is perception. We like what we like. Sometimes the most popular actor may not be great at acting. We have an Indian actor called Salman Khan who is super popular but is really really really horrible an actor (I will probably get murdered for this statement but I stand by it that he is horrible). It’s that simple

I agree. Love is a give an take and love between two people who are unrelated is full of expectations unlike familial love which can be totally one sided. Her father loving her without expecting anything is very different from what a partner expects.
People really want love in return. Which is why with quadriplegic or paraplegic people, their partners stay with them and as their primary caregivers despite the extreme hard work day in day out, because they get the verbal love, the reinforcements and the emotional connection which they continue to have with their disabled partners. Emotional connection is so so so important
However people being imperfect people tend to do worse in relationships where they don’t receive any reinforcements or acknowledgements or emotional support. Which is why in this drama their love affair should have been shown to be more organic and it’s very insta love here and it detracts from this drama