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"Morals or money?"
If you ever wondered what would happen if you combined a yakuza film, a noir, and a spaghetti western, here’s the answer---A Colt Is My Passport. Murder, betrayal, and of course there was a dame involved. Pop the popcorn and kick up your feet for Nomura Takashi’s black and white crime flick.Kamimura and his driver, Shun, have been hired to take out the head of a yakuza family. After successfully completing his mission, the families decide it would be more financially beneficial to work together which means Kamimura and Shun have to be eliminated. The two fugitives hole up in a rundown hotel for truckers and make the acquaintance of Mina, an ex-yakuza moll. The port is crawling with gangsters searching for the partners which makes staying alive, much less escaping nearly impossible.
This was my first Shishido Jo film and I actually paused the film to see if he had been recovering from the mumps while filming this movie as his cheeks looked unnaturally swollen. Turns out he wanted to look different and had the work done. So, if he was happy with them, it wasn’t my business, though they could be distracting to look at initially.
Acts 1 and 3 were gripping. At the beginning Kamimura methodically worked his murderous magic, even taking time to listen to a bird sing. At the slam bang finish he once again contemplated perhaps the last moments of his life by watching a fly crawl around. The slow middle act lacked the intensity and compelling moments the other two contained.
“All that’s left for me is dust and the smell of men and gasoline.” Mina seemed to be there to witness Kamimura and Shun’s loyalty to each other, as well as to fall in love with Kamimura. Sadly, she jealously wished women could have the kind of friendships men had, giving false credence to the old myth that women’s friendships are shallow. Be that as it may, Kamimura and Shun were devoted to each other with the hitman working overtime to protect his friend, even tucking him at night.
With music reminiscent of Ennio Morricone’s, a dusty landfill standing in for the dust blown desert towns, and a man in black staring down a killer with guns blazing, the spaghetti western influence was obvious. Being obvious didn’t mean that it didn’t work, there were many powerful and captivating images. If you enjoy old Japanese crime films, this is one to try.
4 January 2025
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That's what friends are for
Louisa at Guada showed the value of friendship in the golden years. I watched this short film a few years ago and felt the need to revisit these lovely older ladies. Louisa and Guada teased each other about their age and supported each other with love and care.Every morning Guada rings Louisa’s doorbell with something for them to do whether it’s a game or talking about celebrities. They discuss how they haven’t seen their kids in the past year. Guada is active on Facebook and uses the internet to communicate with her kids. Louisa is interested in finding a boyfriend so that she won’t have to die alone. Guada is all too eager to help her sign up for a dating site and to give her buddy a glow-up.
Louisa and Guada were as giddy as schoolgirls playing together and sharing their mornings. They brought a zing to each other’s lives. Getting older can be accompanied by isolation and depression, but these two women had the perfect antidote... an enduring and enthusiastic friendship.
15 December 2024
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"Have I ever caused any problems?"
Ma Dong Seok returned as the loose cannon cop who doesn’t play by the rules in The Roundup: No Way Out. Officer Ma Suk Do became even more impervious to pain and injuries in this follow-up. Next time they need to put him in a cape and tights to help better explain why he could punch people through walls and take blows that would be deadly for any other cop. But this was Ma Dong Seok, my favorite ahjussi hitter and I adore him so he can get away with almost anything supernatural and I won’t question it…much.Ma Suk Do is up against big time drug dealer, Joo Sung Cheol, the yakuza, dirty cops, and an assortment of other criminals. When a bag of dope goes missing, everyone is either racing to find it or figuring out a way to use it to their advantage.
Ma Dong Seok is a charismatic actor and fun to watch. As much as I enjoy watching him slap, punch, and body slam people, it became ridiculous that his character was nearly always fighting solo against a group. Where’s this man’s backup? Even when his partner was with him, it was a detriment because after all the years, Kim Man Jae, has never learned adequate self-defense. The film also highlighted for me that police officers need to be able to carry a gun, especially when constantly facing groups of ruthless criminals who are armed with bats, knives, and even a katana.
There wasn’t anything innovative about the story. The age-old trope of adding humorous low-level crooks gave the film some much needed humor during breaks of police brutality. The problem I had with the movie was that there were too many ill-defined criminals. It had a conveyor belt of baddies who were hard to keep up with and some who only popped in for a quick shot or two. I didn’t find Big Bad Joo Sung Cheol particularly menacing or effective. Kunimura Jun had a couple of brief appearances as the head of the yakuza gang and I found myself wishing he had a more substantial role. Katana wielding Aoki Munetaka also made for an interesting character though he too needed more screen time. The police department was just as plagued with poorly drawn characters whose only job was to show up AFTER Ma had clobbered all of the baddies. They’d come in and cleanup the crime scenes and call the ambulances for all the broken bodies.
This Roundup sequel wasn’t as strong as the previous movie largely due to uneven pacing and poorly drawn characters. It was an entertaining watch due largely to Ma Dong Seok’s screen presence and appeal. He loves what he does, but his physical health seems to be deteriorating which always concerns me. Through the years he has suffered various injuries and also has no cartilage in his knees. It was sad watching him struggle to walk upstairs, but as long as he continues to make films and dramas, I’ll continue to watch them even if he’s taking down criminals with his walker or cane.
14 December 2024
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Adorable
Adorkable Shimei x Shijie is one of the more accurate titles I’ve seen. This couple was adorkable. It had the typical clumsy, cute female lead who stumbles and giggles about. And the more mature partner who can wield a sword and protect her.I tried to find information on this cast. I was more intrigued by the mature swordswoman than the giggle box. I’d also like to know who directed this. This was a very sweet, effervescent 2-minute girl love that could have easily been a commercial for sesame cakes or buns. Wind machines, featherlight dresses and hair blowing in the breeze, and a gauzy lens all gave this a romantic, dreamlike quality. Nothing earth shattering, just a miniscule bubbly slice of life to put a smile on your face.
11 December 2024
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A short trip worth taking
Summer, Bus is a delightful short film, especially if you are having a bad day. Two different bus drivers have their turn on Bus #33 with unique and uplifting experiences.Our first bus driver plays matchmaker and is a sweet talker when the machine malfunctions. The second bus driver deals with a mischievous pint-sized tagger who loves sea life and harbors a secret.
Were the stories realistic? Probably not. Were they heartwarming and life affirming? Most decidedly, yes. The lilting music carried the characters along as much as the swaying bus. The good-natured drivers dealt with problems in positive manners, even when passengers were cranky.
This 20 minute trip on a crowded bus could perk up almost any journey you are currently on.
9 December 2024
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"Life is long and the revolution is short"
The Old Garden was an ill fated tale of love set right after the Gwangju Massacre and 17 years afterwards. A dedicated revolutionary and a teacher seeking a quiet life meet and fall in love during the tumultuous time.Oh Hyun Woo has to go into hiding when he and his group are being hunted by the government for their activities in defying the current regime. Somehow art teacher Han Yoo Hee recognizes him and takes him to her rural home. Before you can say Bob’s your uncle the two have fallen in love. And just as quickly, Yoo Hee discovers that love can’t stop Hyun Woo from his sense of guilt and returning to Seoul where he is immediately arrested, tortured, and sent to jail indefinitely.
The Old Garden bounced back and forth in time which made it hard for me to connect with the characters, especially when they were given precious little backstory and time together. Even as the story progressed, big gaps were left out of the narrative. Yoo Hee’s father was brought up several times without explaining why Hyun Woo reminded her of him. While Hyun Woo was in jail, her activities were never explained fully nor his life in jail. We’re introduced to older Hyun Woo as he reminisces about their short time together while alternating between his life and hers.
Hyun Woo’s reason for returning to Seoul in order to be jailed was rather thin, even for someone dedicated to the cause. Not all of his compatriots were jailed and in their older age (mid-thirties?) they argued over who had stayed true to socialism and who had sold out. In flashbacks, one of the groups callously decided who would be sacrificed. But the overarching shadow fell from the government and their blatant crimes against humanity. Other films and dramas have done a better job of demonstrating the cruelty inflicted upon dissidents so this film needed to sell the romance. With much of the time dedicated to when the lovers were apart, that was a tall task and only partially accomplished. Both characters suffered off screen when they were separated by eschewing the rule of show don’t tell. The characters were never fleshed out completely, coming across rather flat. Not to nitpick, but of course I'm going to, where was the titular garden?
The Old Garden was beautifully shot and had a nice OST. The actors both did their best with the material given. Somewhere in all the hopping through time and skipping over plot elements, I became emotionally detached from Hyun Woo and Yoo Hee, through no fault of the actors. If you go into the film with low expectations there were meaningful moments to be had but they were few and far between.
6 December 2024
Trigger warning: A rather graphic self immolation scene
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"My ammunition is my speech"
Apostasy was a muddled criticism of the caste system in Japan set in the early 1900’s. I learned some new things about the feudal system and their utter disregard for the burakumin. The burakumin were social outcasts due to their jobs that related to uncleanliness and death. Fascinating how eating butchered meat is okay, butchering the meat makes you less than. Everyone wants their dearly departed loved ones taken care of, but undertakers were less than. Segawa was a young teacher who came from the burakumin caste who was sworn to silence by his father so that he could live a normal life.Kazama, an older teacher from the samurai caste is forced to resign months before he could retire and collect his pension. Young progressive teachers Segawa and Tsuchiya attempt to argue his case with the principal but are promptly shut down. The principal’s “modern” nephew is hired to take Kazama’s place. Inoko, a burakumin who has come out and is leading the charge for equal rights for outcasts is constantly threatened. He is looking for a successor and hopes Segawa will take his place. Segawa is in love with Kazama’s daughter Oshiho, but afraid to push forward as she is from a higher class and he is secretly an outcast and terrified of being found out.
In older Japanese films, it is usually a solid rule of thumb that the good guys/girls are dressed in traditional clothes, while the bad guys/girls are dressed in Western style clothes. While Segawa and Tsuchiya were progressive in their ideas, they wore traditional clothes. The principal and immoral nephew wore suits. The lower middle class that had taken over the school board in this time of change drove out the samurai for financial reasons. They were just following “the rules.” The once ruling class was initially shown sympathetically. Yet those whose standings were raised were oppressively prejudiced against the outcasts and unwilling for them to have the same chances opened up to themselves. It was the same game, just different players with the marginalized still suffering the most. The outcasts were refused medical care and told they were not welcome even in small backwater towns. When one burakumin was murdered it wasn’t seen as a crime. The film also alluded that it would be these new people stepping into the power structure that would support the militaristic ideas that led to WWII. And of course, this film was largely dealing with men’s ability to have access to better opportunities. If Oshiho had told Segawa she wanted to train to be a doctor, he’d have thought she was out of her damn mind.
Segawa should have been the focal point of sympathy but he behaved so emotionally and at times cowardly that it was hard to relate to him. He was surely torn between his father’s mandate to keep his heritage secret and his mentor’s mandate that only by stepping into the light and demanding equality could the outcasts ever lead normal lives. Examples of abusive behavior toward the outcasts was often shown and Segawa who lived a respectable life did not want to be run out of town or beaten to death. Part of the disconnect for me was Ikebe Ryo’s performance which was overwrought, bordering on hysterical, even by 1940’s standards.
Apostasy was an example of people not wanting to give up power and refusing to share it. A stalwart attitude of total collectivism with certain people relegated to the bottom was difficult to shake up. Old superstitions and pecking orders did not give way easily to egalitarianism. This rigid way of thinking still plagues societies today, marginalized people who harm no one are forced to stay on the outside of society for no better reasons than what was portrayed here. Stepping forward and demanding equality is a daily and dangerous business.
“If you still look down on villagers or honor the samurai or the noble, you are still bound to the feudal way of thinking.”
25 November 2024
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"Those who survive, keep thinking about the dead"
Drive My Car was a slow, agonizing, peeling away of emotions and denial, much of the revelations taking place in a red 2-door Saab. “Uncle Vanya” by Anton Chekhov served as therapist, burrowing into the actors and revealing buried questions and regrets.“What should I do about my life and love?”
Yusuke and Oto have been married for 20 years. After the death of their daughter a decade before the light went out of their lives. Oto is a screenwriter who uses sex as a muse and to fill the emptiness inside her. Yusuke left television acting and now works in the theater. All is not as blissful as it seems between the two when tragedy hits. Two years after Oto’s death, Yusuke travels to Hiroshima to direct his version of “Uncle Vanya” that is a multi-lingual production. He is famous for his interpretation of Uncle Vanya but after Oto’s death he’s been unable to process the emotional anguish of the challenging part. The Festival director insists that he have a driver and assigns a young woman to transport him while working on the play. His driver, twenty-three-year-old Misaki, quietly carries her own burden of guilt.
“However, the world had changed to something sinister.”
Drive My Car took a rather in-depth look at play auditions, readings, and the revelations to actors and audience. This play was unique in that each character spoke a different language-Japanese, Mandarin, Korean, Korean sign language, and Tagalog. A screen displayed all four languages for audience members, but it got me to thinking. How well do we truly understand people, even people we love, when speaking the same language? The film asked if it’s possible to truly understand another’s secret heart. How often do we shy away from asking the important questions for fear of the answers? And how much pain does it cause to not be asked those pertinent questions?
“If you really want to look at someone then your only option is to look at yourself squarely and deeply.”
Nishijima Hidetoshi brilliantly showed how Yusuke wore his serene demeanor like impenetrable armor. Subtle cracks revealed his pain, guilt, anger, and sorrow. The cassettes Oto had recorded for Yusuke to practice his lines felt like accusations and pronouncements of their marital relationship. If Yusuke wore a suit of protective armor, Miura Toko’s Misaki had built a fortress of stone around her heart. The two strangers went from traveling in silence to coming to understand that they had more in common. Okada Masaki played an actor who had ties to Oto and deeply disturbed Yusuke’s calm bubble, but in shaking Yusuke up, he also revealed a stunning secret.
“I let something genuine slip by.”
Drive My Car’s story unfolded deliberately, with tiny revelations chipping away at Yusuke and Misaki’s walls. The catharsis of Uncle Vanya unrelentingly bored into their hearts uncovering deep wounds, bringing them into the light for healing. Guilt and regret are the sharpest of blades that can only be dulled with understanding and forgiveness. And a little time of self-discovery in a 1987 red 900 Turbo Saab.
13 November 2024
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"Never take the mask off"
Rigor Mortis was an homage to the Mr. Vampire franchise even casting Chin Siu Ho and Anthony Chan as the leads. Director Juno Mak made a stylishly bleak film lacking the humor of other hopping vampire films. A stellar veteran cast helped cover over gaps in the story.Chin Siu Ho is an actor down on his luck and separated from his wife and son. He moves into a dilapidated apartment building with aging tenants. Death is ever near and, in many cases, still lingering. Two Taoist priests, one retired and the other who practices black magic work together and against each other as vengeful ghosts and a hopping vampire terrorize the building. Chin owes Taoist Kau for saving his life and bands together with him to cleanse the evil and put an end to it.
I wasn’t aware this film had any connection to the Mr. Vampire films when it started and officially it didn’t. Chin Siu Ho (MV, VvV, MV1992) walking across the screen was my first clue and Anthony Chan (Four-eyed Taoist MV, MV4) playing a reluctant bespectacled Taoist was another. Chin had cast pics from Mr. Vampire with the late Lam Ching Ying (THE Uni-browed Taoist MV1,2,3, 1992, VvV) and Ricky Hui (MV1) on display. Billy Lau (MV1,2,3,1992,VvV) made a guest appearance as a cook, Chung Fat (MV2 & 4) as the black magic practitioner and finally, Richard Ng (MV3) played a beloved husband. Kara Hui gave a great performance as a widow whose sanity hung by a thread after her husband was involved with a double murder/suicide in their apartment. Pau Hei Ching was brilliant as the dedicated wife who would do anything to bring her deceased husband back. Anything.
The fights were brutal and CGI/wire assisted. Chin Siu Ho practiced martial arts in real life and even at 50 made some impressive moves. The jiangshi went from graceful slow-mo hopping with a wind machine to rapidly crawling up walls. The two malevolent ghosts were creepy as they floated about and possessed the living and the dead. Juno Mak created this world primarily in tombstone grays and muted tones , saving the bigger pops of color for rooms lit up in red or puddles of blood. The film was quite stylishly filmed for a low budget horror flick.
For true horror connoisseurs this movie would be tame. For fraidy cats like me, I had to turn my head a couple of times although I did not miss the slapstick humor often associated with hopping vampire films. The cast gave excellent performances. The gloomy apartment setting offered all the hope of a cemetery where the people didn't realize they were dead. The biggest drawback for me was Chin Siu Ho’s character not having a proper backstory and the epilogue. The epilogue may have actually given meaning to the title, but I found it disappointing. Whether it was the director’s way of trying to be clever or the censors stepped in, it came across as mundane after the thrilling battles. Still, it was a pleasure to have much of the gang back together (RIP LCY!) which caused me to give this film a ratings’ bump.
"In this business, no one gets a happy ending."
30 October 2024
Trigger warnings: Child death, insects, gore, suicides, sexual assault
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Kung Fu Jellyfish!
Jellyfish Eyes is a children’s movie by director Murakami Takashi that showed children, adults, and “scientists” attempting to process the trauma of the 2011 earthquake and tsunami. Everyone searched for answers on how to be safe in an unsafe and unpredictable world. Or if you just look on the surface it was about children with magical creatures that were often used like Pokémon cockfights.Masashi lost his dad during the tsunami. He and his mom have finally left the evacuation camp and moved to a new place. Moments after moving in he discovers a creature he calls Kurage-bo (Jellyfish boy) who devours their stock of Chee-kama. His uncle Naoto works at the university’s lab with several creepy scientists wearing black capes. They are seeking a way to collect the life force that creates disasters and the small creatures they call F.R.I.E.N.D.s were a byproduct. Masashi learns at school that everyone has a F.R.I.E.N.D. though the other students have controls they can use to make their creatures invisible. They also have contests where their creatures fight each other. When Tatsuya sics his critter on Masashi, Kurage-bo defeats the chief bully’s frog with martial arts. Go Kung Fu Jellyfish! Masashi makes friends with Saki and her giant dog F.R.I.E.N.D., Luxor. Saki’s mom belongs to a cult that attempts to control the uncontrollable through picketing and prayer. It’s not long before the creepy caped scientists’ goal is revealed to be fiendish in the old school burn things to the ground and start over format.
The movie primarily focused on the children and their relationships with each other and their F.R.I.E.N.D.s. Though the actions of adults and the government were called into question, the children’s violent tendencies showed that cruelty starts young. Masashi and Saki wanted to avoid the Pokémon, I mean F.R.I.E.N.D. fights. Their selfless actions came to change the hearts of the bullies. The two young actors gave good performances as Masashi and Saki. Saitoh Takumi as Uncle Naoto played several handsome versions of himself.
Jellyfish's CGI was adequate, but not stellar. The creatures were all different and creative. Kung Fu Jellyfish made a variety of transformations when needed to help save the world. During many of the fights, I was disturbed at creatures with no agency of their own forced to fight each other. Give the kids brass knuckles and bats and let them duke it out instead of setting basically enslaved creatures against each other. On the positive side, Masashi and Saki were against the fights. The film did offer a little something for my kaiju loving heart which boosted its rating for me.
There were not one, but two delusional cults that wanted to cleanse the land. Adults turned to whoever promised them some sort of control over disasters and evil. Kids today are more science savvy so the convoluted science babble the black cloaked nihilists banged on about might leave them shaking their heads. While the children learned about cooperation and bravery, the adults just wandered around in a fog leaving the world saving to the kids.
Jellyfish Eyes was not a great film and could have cut its run time to eliminate a couple of draggy places. For younger children the film had enough random action and small creatures to possibly keep their attention. I thought the film had several cute moments for children and also tried to address the community trauma parts of Japan suffered in the aftermath of the tsunami and Fukushima disaster. Masashi and Saki had an endearing friendship as they both tried to come to terms with the loss and change they’d experienced all while playing with their not so invisible F.R.I.E.N.D.s. They even found time to save the world.
(Rated as a children's film)
27 October 2024
Trigger warnings: What looked like a suicide. Bullying.
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Six boys are all that stand between Earth and annihilation!
Not long ago I read that Invasion of the Neptune Men was one of the worst films ever made. Man, whoever wrote that has not seen very many films. Actually, there is a dubbed, shortened version that was shown on Mystery Science Theater which seemed to be the one most reviewers had watched. Now the subbed version is no award winner, but for a children’s movie it was watchable. People hoping to see Sonny “Street Fighter” Chiba will also be disappointed. This was early in his career when he was around 22. The film was bonkers funny with aliens in bullet shaped welders’ helmets and Sonny driving a car/fighter plane/spaceship that squealed tires on grass. This film focused on 6 young school boys and may or may not have been a figment of their imagination.Six school boys who hero worship scientist Dr. Tachibana are out looking for satellites with their telescope. Given that it’s daytime, you’d think they wouldn’t have much luck. Ah, but luck favors the prepared for a spaceship lands not far from them. Completely unafraid they check the ship out and are soon surrounded by aliens! Luck smiled on them again when superhero Iron Sharp comes to their rescue and puts a karate beatdown on the interlopers. The aliens initially attempted to start WWIII by causing suspicion between countries. At first no one believes the boys but the aliens from Neptune soon make their nefarious plot to take over the world known!
Despite obviously being a film aimed at children there were some disturbing images. The aliens blew up a nuclear reactor creating a mushroom cloud that had to invoke terrible memories for some original audience goers. There were several deaths as well. But when the aliens blew up the Hitler Building I was ready to reassess my opinion of them. Maybe they were just misunderstood? Then they went on to blow up buildings everywhere and took aim at those meddling kids. The events might have been in the boys’ imagination for two different reasons. The boys were allowed into every building and secure location, usually the first to come into contact with the Neptunians. Iron Sharp knew when they needed him and showed up with his vehicle armed with laser weapons. He also happened to be the hero the boys had dreamed up. Or maybe the scientists and military just had really, really bad security and Iron Sharp was omniscient.
If you are looking for captivating entertainment, this is not it. However, it's also not the worst movie ever made. Invasion of the Neptune Men could have used more menacing aliens and more competent adults, but for 70 minutes there was plenty of spaceship action and things being blown up. Robby the Robot even made a quick cameo. I’d void the truncated, dubbed version in favor of the subbed original if you decide to watch it. (Graded on a curve)
25 October 2024
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"It's tough to discipline a grown daughter"
Not one but two magic mirrors were the unholy desire of the Nine Souls Witch in The Devil’s Mirror. Two friendly clans were turned against each other as the Bloody Souls Clan double-crossed and sliced their way through righteous fighters in the hopes of serving the new ruler of the martial world.Chief Wen and Chief Bai have discovered that the Nine Souls Witch has sent her minions to murder and thieve across the land. Numerous heroes have gone missing in recent weeks. Wen is concerned that she is after the two magic mirrors that would grant her access to Emperor Wu’s tomb where two powerful weapons are ensconced. Bai’s second in command, the Wormtongued Leng Yun assures his chief that there is nothing to worry about. Later that night the magic Wind Mirror is stolen from the Bai fortress. Leng convinces Bai it must have been the Wen clan as their badges were found on two of the dead assassins. Chief Wen’s son happens to arrive at that time to alert them that the witch’s minions are lurking nearby. When Leng tries to capture Wen Jian Feng, Chief Bai’s daughter, Xiaofeng, steps in with her sword to save the man she loves. The two young people will have to convince their clans to work together to retrieve the Wind Mirror and protect the Thunder Mirror for if the witch uses the two at the same time it could be devastating for the world.
I had to double-check to make sure this was not a Chang Cheh film as there were great Buckets O’ Blood spilled and spewing throughout this film. The sword fights were nearly constant and the red #2 finger-paint covered everyone. This was a typical 1972 film before all the special effects for fighting were developed though wire-fu was used as well as reverse filming. The Nine Souls Witch could fly and most of the time she didn’t look too awkward. The numerous stuntmen were what sold the fights as they twisted, flipped, and fell whenever the swords came near. They certainly got a workout in this action film.
Lau Dan and Shu Pei Pei were fine in their roles, but the characters came across as quite bland. Lee Ga Sai as the Jiuxuan Witch reveled in her maniacal laugh. If anything, they should have given her more meaningful actions to take instead of spending most of her time laughing or seducing men. The biggest and most welcome surprise was Wang Hsieh playing a good guy! He nearly always played an over-the-top villain in these kung fu flicks. Coincidentally, there were several fights at the SB 7 story pagoda and bridge where he once fought Cheng Pei Pei in The Lady Hermit (1971). Not only was he a good guy but was also rewarded with a significant fight of his own. Go Wang!
The Devil’s Mirror wasn’t a great name as there were two mirrors and a witch involved. One of the things I like about some of these Shaw Brothers films is that the character names are in the correct order and spelled correctly for the subtitles. I did wonder about the translation for the sword the witch wanted-the Fish Intestines Sword, but discovered that was one of the real names for it. Eww. Not only did the props guy have to buy red paint in bulk but also Buckets O’ Gold as nearly everything in the Emperor’s tomb was coated in gold paint!
The sets and costumes were all first rate for a 1972 wuxia. The Devil’s Mirror also offered magic, secret tunnels, torture, poison corpse pills, double-crosses, numerous group sword fights, and a nice surprise twist. If you enjoy old kung fu films, this is one to try. (Graded on a curve)
24 October 2024
Trigger warnings: Blood, lots of blood. Decapitation. Nudity.
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Reporters Ken and Jenny are aboard a navy sub in order to watch a new torpedo demonstration when a mysterious creature swims by the viewing window. Later the two don their scuba gear and go back to investigate. Jenny is confronted by one of the creatures and escapes. Commander Tom Brown says he doesn’t believe her, and like a good man from the 1960’s, recommends she see a psychiatrist. Ken does believe her and the two once again go underwater to see what’s going on but are captured by the strange creatures. They awaken to find themselves dressed in white pajamas and scuffed up white go-go boots. Dr. Rufus Moore introduces himself and explains his plan, showing the transformation of a man into a Creature from the Black Lagoon. Ken and Jenny seek to avoid that fate while their friend, Commander Brown fights bureaucratic red tape in order to rescue them.
I have a high tolerance for cheesy old monster films, but this one tested that tolerance. With the exception of Sonny, who looked great here I might add, the acting was abysmal. Not even in the cheesy, “Welcome to my lair, Mr. Bond,” kind of way. The costumes had issues with gaping spots and one was literally coming apart at the seams. The cyborg commands were rudimentary of which they showed only two, “work” and “fight.” But what happens if they become short-circuited and turn on their masters? They livened up the movie after a lot of yakking from the humans! Jenny’s sole purpose was to scream or cry loudly and look pretty which became quite annoying. Sonny’s street fighter powers were greatly reduced here. Instead of fileting the fishmen, he was routinely dominated. But I will say the evil scientists made good use of their label makers by neatly labeling every can of atomic waste dumped at the bottom of the ocean clearly and succinctly.
Fans of Sonny Chiba or old monster flicks may be disappointed by this film. The underwater installations, subs, and torpedoes were all well-crafted. If only as much attention had been paid to the acting and costumes. Even graded on a curve, Terror Beneath the Sea barely made a passing grade.
23 October 2024
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Lots of ghosts-no vampires
Mr. Vampire 3 left the hopping vampires behind and embraced ghosts, both the friendly and unfriendly kind, in this installment of the franchise. Lam Ching Ying’s vampire slayer was joined by a fellow Taoist played by Richard Ng. Stronger than the second film, it lagged behind the first for me.Uncle Ming, a Taoist priest who utilizes two ghostly brothers to help him make money exorcising “haunted” houses finds himself in the middle of a skirmish between villagers and deadly horse thieves. Uncle Nine leads the villagers and figures out very quickly that the bandits who are impervious to weapons have had a heavy dose of black magic. Uncle Nine convinces Uncle Ming to release his ghosts, but they might just need them when the bandit’s leader, the Devil Lady, decides to seek revenge against the village.
Lam Ching Ying owned this role and despite this being his third outing as the unibrowed Taoist priest gave it his all. Richard Ng was a welcome addition as the Taoist priest who had fallen on hard times yet still had some magical chops. His relationship with the two friendly ghosts was one of the sweeter parts of the film. Pauline Wong, who played a ghost in the first film and a hopping vampire in the second, returned this time as the malevolent Devil Lady. What caused me to drop my rating for this film was the overuse of Billy Lau. As an antagonist with limited screen time in the first he accomplished his task. In the third installment his sycophantic, contemptible disciple of Uncle Nine grated on my nerves. I was rooting for the Devil Lady to tear him apart instead of his friend. Sammo Hung, Wu Ma, and Corey Yuen made guest appearances at a birthday party when they served up a “foreign moon cake” with candles.
This film had very little kung fu unlike the first, which was a shame. Lam Ching Ying in action is a sight to see although he did have a few cool moves in this film. Like the other films in this franchise, the wires were rarely edited out and I could see them in several scenes when the supernatural fights took place. There were rudimentary special effects for the ghostly battles and a deep-fried ghoul scene to top it off. Director Ricky Lau kept the action coming from start to finish.
Mr. Vampire 3 was entertaining for the most part and I enjoyed Richard Ng and his ghosts, though I could have used less of his bare behind. Lam Ching Ying and his twitchy brow were worth watching the film alone. If the writers and director had remembered to dial back the most annoying character it would have been far more enjoyable for me.
14 October 2024
***Trigger warnings: Cockroaches and bats***
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"I want to get that foreign fish fried!"
Lam Ching Ying and his unibrow returned to fight the undead in Vampire vs Vampire. This time he was aided by a Little Vampire, 2 inept disciples, and a fierce Mother Superior. He would be confronted not by hopping vampires, but a European vampire impervious to his magical talismans.Disciples Ho and Fong disturb a palm ghost and attract her attention. Master Unibrow helps them out but now the ghost will not leave them alone. The two have to find her body so that she can be properly buried. Meanwhile, Master Unibrow is helping the village leader who is having a feng shui problem with the land. Master Unibrow shows him where to dig a well for better water and fortunes. Unfortunately, bats move the marker and workers dig in the wrong spot the next day. During these misadventures a handful of nuns are attempting to rebuild their church. The local captain vows to burn the church down but the nuns are persistent. When the well workers begin digging they find more than artifacts, unbeknownst to them they uncover a European vampire staked in the heart by a cross with a giant ruby in it. The greedy captain and his girlfriend awaken the beast when they try to steal the ruby. Master Unibrow has his hands full when trying to dispatch this new foe.
Vampire vs Vampire was a similar set-up to Mr. Vampire (1985). Lam Ching Ying was once again the adult in the room and constantly helping everyone around them whether it was a bat infestation, blood sucking vampire, or distraught ghost. The casting of Chin Siu Ho promised a few acrobatic fights which he delivered on. Lam Ching Ying who also directed the movie was able to get his kung fu on as well much to my delight. Sandra Ng played the self-absorbed girlfriend who was bitten by the vampire and was able to show a completely different side of her acting. Billy Lau who seemed to be in all of these movies played the character I most wanted to be blown up-the pompous captain. Lam Jing Wang brought the adorable to his Little Vampire, a character familiar to those who watched Mr. Vampire 2 even though it was set in the future. With these movies, logic was never a consideration.
Vampire vs Vampire had plenty of slapstick comedy for those who like it, I’m not one who does. There was low budget special effects and once again I spotted wires in various shots when characters went airborne or amphibians. But the film had a few tense moments when the bats attacked the sisters, maybe because bats* freak me out. The European vampire was scarily funny yet also a good opponent for Master Unibrow. The Dracula wannabe became more gruesome looking as the fights went on. Master Unibrow had to think outside the box to bring down the fanged baddie. Fortunately for him, the sisters were willing to help as well as his incompetent disciples and his cute TNT carrying Little Vampire. If you enjoyed Mr. Vampire, this is one you might want to give a try. (Rated on a curve)
14 October 2024
Trigger warnings-bats and a snake
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