catastrophes

you can read the english translated ver on mydramanovel (.) com !

actually the stylist is huang wei who has done a huge number of large scale productions before and is quite renowned, but you're also correct in that it's a lower level S project (according to the new tencent guide) so the investment is sadly less. but it's still better than blossom's A level and we all saw how successful it was so i have faith they can still produce a good outcome!! fingers crossed the script especially is adapted well ~

totally! we've only seen like 3 outfits so far, and apparently they're filming for 4-5 months so there's still way more to be revealed. also mu wan yao dressed like an average commoner a few times to blend in and yan shang is pretty poor to begin with too so it would make sense if their outfits aren't luxurious all the time. but mwy in red and ys in blue or green would be the ultimate vision!

tbh i was expecting a lot more red and gold for wanyao's outfits considering she's portrayed as very extravagant in the novel so the pastels threw me off a bit at first, but meng ziyi still looks absolutely stunning especially in the veiled outfit. really do hope they go all out for her in her upcoming looks. also li yun rui is exactly how i pictured yan shang, i can't believe how fresh and handsome he is in the current summer heat despite wearing so many layers + love how the majority of the costume styling naysayers quietened down once his reuters were released because there's nothing to criticise as he literally looks like he walked off the pages lol his aura for historicals is just perfect

"treat yourself well, and the world will hold more love for you"

something so moving about TFF was in how yifan being brave and learning to be kind to herself allows her to open herself up to the realisation that she is an individual that is most deserving of being loved—maybe not by the people that she desperately wanted, but by others who have showed her real warmth and care—especially by sang yan of course, but also by siqiao who always has her best needs in mind, the policewoman and her daughter who first reached out their hand on her darkest day, her nanwu TV co-workers who support her steadfastly, the dancers she met in HK, and then also sang yan's family too who will now cherish her as their own daughter ♡

recovery isn't only romance, but rather, about the support network that you slowly build up—they are the people that will bring you happiness and become the family that you find rather than just accepting the one you were born with, especially if they never treated you the way you deserve

actually it's been really hard to write down my feelings about yifan's whole runaway arc to HK because whilst i can see and understand the vision, i do admit the drama perhaps also could have executed it a bit better. in my heart i do wish we just kept the novel yihe trajectory instead because it would have made more sense in yifan’s character development, but i do admit that yifan having a major setback in the face of meeting her assaulter again and making an utterly irrational decision in her effort to protect sang yan is actually pretty realistic despite being frustrating as hell.

in turn, i also think it's valid for people to question whether sang yan may have future insecurities of whether yifan will just up and leave him again anytime. but i guess that's the whole point—loving someone with mental health issues and trauma is an arduous and enduring decision where you have to consciously make the effort every day to decide whether it's worth it.

❄️: "it was that person. he made me feel like i don’t deserve good things, and he could take it away at any moment"
🍃 : "you disappearing without a word really destroyed my world."

i appreciate that sang yan expressed his frustrations in how she has the capability to entirely affect him, especially as for a lot of people yifan's move would have triggered their limits, but here sang yan immediately follows up with "i love you" instead - whilst this may be misconstrued as being a doormat, personally i think it's just his active decision to walk in yifan's shoes, realise that a lot of her problems stem from her warped sense of self-esteem in her belief she didn’t deserve him, and so instead of getting f2f angry with her which wouldn’t have done them any good, he decides to just actively reassure her that she is worth the pain for him and he is still going to stand by her side and help her manage this. it is relatively fictional of course because it does make them a very co-dependent couple and also especially as sang yan is a privileged man who has the means to do certain things like continue paying for an apartment that she just left to him or be able to come to HK at a drop of a hat, but it’s something that i do think a lot of women in yifan’s position would like to be able to believe and hope that they could attain a partner as willingly devoted as him to help them on their journey.

though here is where I think the drama could have let yifan directly apologise for running away the second time, and make a new promise in trying her hardest to not do it again—to voice out how she finally realised that running away would just hurt everyone instead because I think it would have done a world of good for sang yan to /hear/ this communication and accountability straight from her. but i also think that yifan is still figuring things out and we still have CXD and her mother to deal with who really is the major source of her struggle so we’ll see how the last 5 eps runs.

as sang yan mentioned before: “i realised how small her world was, like a life trapped in a cage” - this is one of the biggest reasons for me to accept the runaway arc because it did mean that yifan was able to have some time away to study and find her motivations for continuing with journalism, to reconnect with her roots in her ballet passion, to be in a position to rethink her perspective and contemplate how running away from your problems doesn’t solve anything at all—that it’s better to face them sooner rather than later, and also realise that it’s better for her to be /with/ sang yan rather than without. of course it still doesn’t mean what she did was right at all, but i don’t necessarily think the drama is portraying it that way but rather that humans are all flawed individuals and that our decisions can have huge consequences on others, but it’s up to the affected person themselves to decide whether they want to continue on this path.

i haven't been active on a drama page in such a long time!! it's been so fun (though also very high blood pressure inducing at times lol) im going to be so sad when everything comes to an end ;; too soon!!!

sang yan has survived the great war and is now reaping the benefits ♡

whilst i really appreciated the sexy time bed make out scene in general ofc hehe, what i really want to highlight was how sang yan exerted his self control to pull himself off yifan before playfully bantering about how she was the one to orchestrate the whole thing by getting them one room - it especially felt like his way of giving her back her agency, voice and space to let him know if she wasn't ready for this sort of intimacy especially in case he was taking advantage of her. and of course he only pounces back to kiss her again after she gives him her permission.

and it's just an insane and intense scene that speaks volumes because she has literally just shared something that has been buried so deep within her - and especially since it involves sexual assault, but yifan is here reclaiming that part of herself again and willingly giving herself freely to sang yan in this manner because of how much of an exception he is and how safe she feels with him.

anyway the whole hotel build up and release was really cathartic and just beautifully done. whilst the disclosure of her past and feelings doesn't mean that their healing is complete because in truth it's probably just begun, and really, it's a never ending journey, but it was just lovely to see yifan finally having the courage and trust in sang yan to divulge her darkest secret to him and also for him to comfort her in how she was so brave and not to feel humiliated- it just felt like the absolute reassurance that she's been needing when no one else not even her family stood by her side back in her time of utmost need. and it was also closure for that rainy night for sang yan to finally hear the reason for why she broke their promise, and how it wasn't because of anything that he did.

opportunities truly are for sang yan~~

it's such a long post that i would feel bad for people having to scroll later 😂 but thank you for your kind comment and i'm glad it resonated with you!

though i see more people empathising with her now thankfully, after seeing so much negativity and vitriol thrown at WYF, i do feel like it's a very telling representation of how individuals with mental health issues suffering from trauma are viewed in real life especially considering episode 25 literally showcased her full past of her getting sexually assaulted and being left completely without support for years on end, and some viewers are still calling her a failure… like make it make sense. i feel some people expect a fast track to fairy tale endings and don't seem to remember that growth and "healing" is never a linear positive progression. just because yifan had decided she wants to change and not hurt sang yan doesn't mean it's going to happen in a span of a short period, especially since yifan is a person that has such internalised self blame and immense trust issues, and the monster who has conditioned her into thinking that her trauma is something so entirely shameful has suddenly popped up again and is also now hurting sang yan especially.

and so what I want to commend is how yifan was not running away only in fear anymore, but in being strong enough in making the decision to also try to /protect/ her loved ones - the family that she has created for herself, and she's protecting them in the only way she knows how. she's tried asking for help or reporting to the police before... and you all say “just tell sang yan!” - look what happened where he got brained by the bottle and almost killed CXD. whilst I appreciate the violence but if this drama went a different direction, either he would have ended up exactly the way yifan feared, potentially dead or his life ruined which she would never ever want for him.

look, i'm not saying that what she did was right or wrong, but i can understand /why/ she felt what she did was the best possible option within her current capabilities.

like grief, trauma is something that will never truly go away. there's no end destination, and you're not going to suddenly meet that one person who will magically erase all that hurt that you’ve been feeling. you just have to slowly work away at figuring how's best to manage it yourself, and if this occasionally means regression well then that's actually realistic as hell. whilst it's ugly, and it's extremely frustrating but it's survival and humanity.

and whilst i do hate seeing sang yan in pain, i think being with yifan is probably the most complex hurdle yet development for him and it’s important too because this is a conscious choice that he is making himself - to be extremely patient, to wait for her and shower her with love and care despite her decisions. loving and standing by a person who has mental health issues, or has undergone such emotional wounds who may continually hurt you, or may potentially never let you fully into their heart is no doubt extremely difficult and most people would give up. and so whilst he might be a bit too fictional, because sang yan is to me is essentially a paragon of hope but don't we all wish for that one person who will always stand by us and trust and believe in us? love is never a 50/50 even split, and only you can choose how much you deem someone else to be worthy of your love and how much hurt you are willing to endure before hopefully, you’ll attain some of that love back ♡

ready for the next few episodes considering the trailer previews!!!

in the novel - when yifan reads the texts from her mum during mu cheng yun's farewell party was actually when the mother said she already kicked the uncle and aunt out of her house (because of the drink driving accident and him getting into a lot of debt and continuously pestering for more money, not because of him harassing kejia - though he does later on harass yifan's cousin's wife and also abuses and kills another girl...) but it does appear the drama has changed some things

and i dont think the step-dad really knew what was going on because im pretty sure yifan's mum tried her hardest to keep everything from them to appear "good". but anyway the step-dad actually ends up cheating on the mum at some point and the mum finally gets a taste of being "abandoned" herself. but thankfully yifan finally does cut contact fully with her mum towards the end of the novel :)

yeah exactly, it's one thing for her to be oblivious and unaware, but there's absolutely no room for any good resolution for her especially if she is willingly housing a predator who attacked her own daughter. thankfully in the novel yifan cuts off all contact for good very cleanly with her mother so i hope the drama will give us as good of a scene or an even better one because this woman is absolutely irredeemable

in the novel, the mum always hung onto the belief that it was a misunderstanding as the aunt kept feeding her lies over the phone when the SA initially took place saying the uncle just walked into the wrong room randomly and that yifan was exaggerating. and yifan literally was so close to ending it all that she didnt even have the fight in her to argue back for the phone... and yeah since the mum had abandoned yifan for her new family, if she had chosen to believe yifan, ig she thought it would have messed things up for her and so she selfishly chose her own happiness (insanity)

and i suppose she now feels obligated to help out the aunt since they technically did her a "big favour" and she doesn't really know the full truth- but the drama did make it seem like she was much more aware of the situation esp when she tells kejia to wear her clothes properly around the uncle which makes it even more disgusting when she couldn't and still won't protect yifan :'(

bai jing ting turning up on set each day in absolute fear at the mercy of the imagination scenes
"fruit ninja chopping skills please"
"time to act like a CAT today"
"zrn is going to carry you like a sack of rice"

somehow this drama balances the comedic moments with all the melodrama and tears so well lol

requisite uncle hate comment because FUCK THAT MAN (and fuck the rest of her family), but actually this was a good episode in setting up the final climax of the drama. you can truly sense the latent fear, tension and disgust that was always simmering away reappear tenfold when yifan encounters the monster of her past and how it just reaffirms her underlying trauma was always looming away under the recent peace and happiness and this isn't something that yifan can keep burying deep within her without falling apart at some point if she doesn't tackle it head on

but hey i'm SOOO proud of her in being already so courageous at standing up against the people who made her life a living hell and causing her so much anguish. however i also know
1) this is not going to stop these deadbeat people from causing issues
2) growth is also never a forward progressive success

so i will understand if her avoidant personality returns in her thinking she needs to leave sang yan once more (this time to safe guard him) - because despite all their recent headway, the original cracks in their bond are still pretty obvious - sang yan's multiple urges for yifan to confide about her struggles yet she doesn't want him to be sullied by this "dirty stain" and feels like she needs to solve them on her own, and him also not telling her about the overtime issue to not stress her out further... they're both just people trying to shield their loved ones from the bad things in life, but unfortunately the lack of communication just isn't sustainable for the long term and they'll need to get over these hurdles both separately and together in order for the happiness to be even sweeter

*hopefully better together
** hopefully better together with therapy LOL

? i don't particularly think sang yan needs any significant character growth considering he's actually very stable mentally and physically. not everybody has to undergo life trauma/big hurdles, or even need to have to have big dreams or ambitions. he is a privileged man that grew up in a loving warm family and has the luxury to be of very comfortable financial status thus could afford to be unemployed for some time. and now, he does have a job (which he is very good at considering that he was the fastest at being promoted to manager in 3 months), and a secondary thriving business and has maintained long-term friendships.

and admittedly yes a lot of the facets of his life is influenced by yifan, but honestly is there anything wrong with that? love is a strong emotion that can have the capacity to really govern and dictate our behavior and thoughts, and in this case it's not like it's negatively affecting him either so i don't really see any problem with him being who he is~

i saw that too! i don't mind them changing things up for the show because it did get a bit repetitive in the book. but yes looks like the climatic fight scene should play out the same way thankfully - hopefully they won't skimp out on the resolution scenes too because i want CXD and the mum to definitely get exactly what they deserve and more!

yesss as much as i dont want the angst to come, i know it's needed for yifan to resolve the thorns in her heart and come out a stronger person and at least this time she knows she has sang yan to rely on. and im so glad for sang yan that he finally is able to drop the guise of saying he purchased too much, and can now explicitly tell her that everything he's done or bought is only ever /for/ her. you can see sooooo much love in his eyes and expression especially in ep 22 and it's beautiful the way that both of them are essentially the key to each other's lock

actually they've changed quite a few things so far re: the uncle.
he didnt drive into a noodle shop, but just hit a guard rail in the novel. she also didn't meet him in uni when he was a taxi-driver, also he didn't become a security guard at her workplace- he would just creepily randomly show up to harass her occasionally. and he also didn't try to ruin sang yan's business by reporting him to health & safety (ep 23 trailer). so looks like the show is trying to ramp up the tension and drama but according to the episode hints, i think his arc should hopefully be resolved by episode 27 ;; fingers crossed!!