sleepyhead

My first impression when I saw Aew trying the bra was how magnificent, as if a fiery red phoenix has finally spread its wings; but then after he quickly deleted the post and broke down , I thought he did it to make himself acceptable to Teh.
On rethinking, (I can't stop keep thinking about all of it...lol) I feel the first interpretation was correct. There is always this conflict, the conflict between the false self-image moulded by heteronormative society and the true-self. On the beach, when Teh denies him, he repeatedly asks, "What did I do wrong, why can't I be myself?". Then he asks his parents whether they are proud of him. After their affirmation, he finally found the courage to assert a little more of his true self but then the image struck back.

The conflict between the image and the self is even more striking in case of Teh. Teh's false self-image is much more solidified due to the constant comparison with his 'perfect' brother. The true self loves Aew and tries to assert itself, but the image is threatened and brutal in its suppression of the self. The conflict between self and image is the conflict of 'coming out to oneself' that every gay man goes through. The self is too strong in its assertion, so the image can't fully suppress it. So, it tries to 'contain' the relationship with Oh 'in the veil of friendship'. As long as the label of friendship is there, any level of intimacy is fine ; be it an embrace behind the stairs or an underwater tryst. But Aew takes that option off the table. The conflict magnifies to an unbearable crescendo, ultimately leaving Teh with a tattered and ripped self-image, and a broken relationship with Oh.

The brutality of the image is striking. In this episode, the brutality spills over from oneself to others; repeatedly to Aew and to Tarn. It was almost like Teh travelled back to his childhood in his repeated hurtful treatment of Aew.

Every gay man is not necessarily immune to the beauty of a woman. But that is not important, as that is not the predominant nature of sexual attraction( and that does not make them bisexual either). However, during the conflict of coming out, the image takes every little evidence in favor of itself and magnifies it hundredfold to prove to the self that he is actually not gay. "If you were gay, why were you curious about breasts?". This is the confusion of Teh about breasts.

Someone posted below about it. I took it from there

just posting it again for anyone who missed it.

https://kisskh.at/55651-bkpp#comment-4488955

A lot of the theories here has actually come true, but they have given such a spin to it. Like we thought ending will be Teh giving up his seat, Teh gave up his seat but that already happened in episode 4! I feel most likely there would be satisfying ending , but there would such a unique twist, like no one ever expected.
Someone posted Nadao has confirmed there would be more after episode 5. So if it has a happy ending that doesn't make sense. It's not like other series (TTTS), where they will show how they are after seven years of bliss or some crap like that. Point is the writers are just too good for us to be able to predict what will happen.

Agreed, his mother's dejection, and everything you said must have played a role as it is clearly shown. But, I just thought it was predominantly because of Oh.
Like Oh has hold over his mind. He is always thinking about Oh. Its like there is a constant thrum of restlessness about everything surrounding Oh in the back of his mind. To everything else, like Tarn, admission, mother, brother, friends he is reacting momentarily but Oh is like a constant factor in his head.
I don't know whether that makes sense.

Bas' character is underdeveloped. He doesn't even show a hint of jealousy or dissatisfaction at the growing intimacy of Oh and Teh, just observes from the side. Not only not in his behavior, but also not in his expressions, even though he has a pretty good idea of what is going on. It doesn't really make sense.

totally agree with you. I have written similar things in other posts here, about the juxtaposition of characters and also about how strong Aew is. So, I thought of the song "Bad Romance", how Aew is alright with all the prospects of future hurt with such a volatile bf, but still refuses to accept a undefined relationship with Teh, no matter how much it hurts. He does not escape from any pain in the pursuit of what he wants. That is so powerful for a person.
Teh is like the master of escaping..lol. Like how he keeps saying Tarn, "Go home" when she tries to to confront him. But Aew has taken that option off the table.

I get you, I consciously avoid tragic endings, so much so that I actually didn't watch the last episode of MODC after sensing it has a sad ending..lol. But, on the other hand, there are so much 'mainstream' literature, like novels, movies etc with sad endings, and they are so superb, I also want lgbt dramas to have that quality and variety.

I think I get what you mean, but I always felt Oh is a such a strong person, like so strong with all his insecurities, but still willing to move forward.

" the book just showed how he lost everything. He lost his admission, he failed in the eyes of his family and most importantly he lost Oh"
losing everything can be so powerful, either you kill yourself or rise from the ashes..hehe

"While I personally believe that BL stories should never, ever end sadly," that makes absolutely no sense, but I totally support it..lol

thanks thanks thanks...left page shows Aew's perspective, and right page shows Teh's. "don't know how to help"/"that's not what it is".....just perfect!

In a way, again the same thing; when you love you someone what someone really needs/wants from you and what you are offering. What Teh really needs from his mother and what she is offering, no doubt she loves him but it's not helpful. I think this is like a general lesson we can draw from this series.

Was it you who posted that Nadao's tweet with squiggly lines. That fits this episode so perfectly!

here I compared noticing flowers in a bra to haircut...hehe

Ok, I really don't think the last scene is about Teh not having study materials and he regretting it. I mean, that's just nonsense.

My take on it: when Aew denied it, Teh was left in a state where he has absolutely nothing else to offer. Teh wants to be close to Oh, but always needs an excuse. Remember he offered to tutor Oh, so that he can get back together! Then they get closer and Oh likes Teh's caring but what he really wants is Teh's admission of the status of their relationship. Teh can't give it it to him and starts being even more helpful "in his own way", making that idiom book and finally giving up his seat, to show Oh he really cares. But Oh rejects it as this is not what he really wants. And so Teh finally has exhausted everything "he can do", and has nothing left to offer to Oh anymore.
But that also means he can't escape anymore. He has to make a choice, whether he can admit his feelings and give Oh the status of bf or just go back into his shell, and either way both of them can move on.

But I still feel those ripped pages have a subtlety that I am missing, like is it their relationship status left tattered and ripped into pieces by his ambivalence? I am not sure. Can some one plz plz translate some of the words on that page!

And Teh is crying during the test in the next episode. That means, he still hasn't resolved it by then. I hope he gets through and doesn't f it up!

The mother looked really annoying, particularly when she compared him with Hoon...but then I thought if someone close to me got in Yale or Harvard, and then just threw it away; I mean that was just stupid.

Yeah, but don't say that. What about the other person! They are just being used.

No, no, fed up with Teh's "brand" of taking care of him. GImme the real thing, not this pity stuff..hehe

can someone translate some of the words on that page to plz. ??

Right right right, Oh must exactly think like that. Quite humiliating from Oh's perspective tbh. Like when Teh said, "Dont understand someones good intentoon". Oh must be thinking: I had enough of your good intentions!