Living Tribunal

Mei Mei, weren’t you just saying you were tired and going to sleep? What happened—did a second wind hit or is the FOMO too strong? 😂

You make some fair points about empathy and understanding, but there are a few contradictions in your argument that need to be addressed.

First, you said, "We learn to empathize and research—it’s easy, just search up the topic and read papers and research." If that’s the case, then why dismiss others who criticize WYF’s actions? If people can research PTSD and SA to understand WYF, then why can’t the same logic apply to Sang Yan’s pain? Just because his struggles aren’t as extreme as WYF’s doesn’t mean they should be brushed aside. You can’t advocate for empathy while selectively applying it.

Second, you claim, "Rather than blaming directly and making SY look like a god, why not pull back and think?" No one is making SY a god, but let’s be real—his life wasn’t as easy as you’re making it sound. Yes, he had a supportive family, but emotional suffering isn’t a competition. He was abandoned by the person he loved without explanation and had to carry that pain for six years. You also questioned why he never pushed her to get therapy—why is that entirely on him? If we’re arguing about personal responsibility, shouldn’t WYF also be responsible for seeking help? She’s an adult, and she knew she had issues, so why does all the burden fall on SY?

Then you said, "No one ever said it was the ‘right’ thing for her to do." But right after, you justified it by saying, "To HER, it was the right thing." That’s exactly what we’re debating—whether her perception of it being ‘right’ makes it actually reasonable. Just because she thought it would help Sang Yan doesn’t mean it did. It’s like saying, "She left because she thought it would protect him." Okay, but did it? No. He suffered immensely. So was it truly the best decision? That’s why people are criticizing her actions—not invalidating her trauma, but pointing out the flaws in her choices.

Finally, you mentioned that "everyone has different walks of life and we should try to understand others." That goes both ways. You’re asking people to empathize with WYF but dismissing those who empathize with Sang Yan. That’s not fair. If we’re expected to understand WYF’s trauma, then the same courtesy should be extended to SY’s pain instead of downplaying it.

At the end of the day, criticizing WYF’s choices doesn’t mean people don’t understand her struggles. It just means they acknowledge that pain doesn’t justify hurting others—especially someone who’s already suffered because of her once before.

I think you have some misunderstanding. When did I even reply to you? My comment was directed at Ayinke737, not you, so I’m not sure why you’re responding on their behalf.

Also, you said, "Leaving Sang Yan feels sad, but it is more realistic." But how do you know it’s realistic? That was my original question. You guys are dismissing my argument simply because it doesn’t align with your opinion, and you're acting as if you're morally superior just because you have empathy for WYF.

But here’s the thing—if you haven’t personally experienced SA or PTSD, how can you confidently claim that her decision is realistic? By your own logic, if we can’t critique her actions without experiencing her trauma firsthand, then you also can’t claim that her leaving Sang Yan was the right or realistic choice without having lived through it yourself. You can’t have it both ways.

She did in one of the earlier episodes but I forgot which one. Rewatch them if you like maybe you will find your answer.

Mu Cheng Yun. He will only irritate you for 3-4 episodes max as he doesn't have much scenes after that

Did you actually read and understand my comment? If you did, you would have realized that I was making a point about how, just like you say we don’t understand her decision to leave Sang Yan because we haven’t experienced her trauma, pain, SA, and PTSD, the same applies to you.

You also haven’t experienced it firsthand—you’re just trying to understand her actions based on sympathy and empathy. So how can you determine that you are right while we are wrong, just because you feel for her situation?

Don’t take this the wrong way, but most of you haven’t gone through SA or PTSD either. So how can you be so sure that her actions were the right response to her trauma? Stop acting superior by claiming that your empathy makes you correct while dismissing our valid criticism. Just because we don’t agree with one of her decisions—leaving Sang Yan—doesn’t mean we’re heartless or wrong.

If you’re tired, that’s understandable, but saying I didn’t read the comments from when episodes 24/25 aired isn’t a valid argument. I did read them, and from what I saw, people were criticizing her decision, not her trauma. If you have specific examples that prove otherwise, feel free to show them tomorrow—I’ll wait.

Also, my comment doesn’t disapprove of people talking about her trauma. Acknowledging her pain is important, and I never said otherwise. What I did say is that Sang Yan’s pain also deserves recognition. The issue isn’t people discussing her trauma—it’s the way some are dismissing his struggles as if they don’t matter. If you think my point is solely about invalidating her trauma, then you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying.

If we’re talking about understanding trauma, then let’s be fair about it. No one is dismissing Yifan’s pain—most comments acknowledge it before criticizing her decision to leave Sang Yan. The issue people have isn’t with her suffering but with how she handled things with him.

You say that when it comes to FLs, there’s always a lack of understanding, but where exactly? If anything, FLs often get more understanding than MLs in similar situations. If you scroll down and check the discussions on I May Love You, Have a Crush on You, and Filter, you’ll see how MLs were dragged for every little thing. In I May Love You, the ML simply said he didn’t know the FL well enough to love her, and that was enough for people to call him trash and say he didn’t deserve her. Meanwhile, in The Best Thing, the FL rejected the ML in a harsh way, yet most viewers defended her, saying she was right to focus on healing. So where exactly is this supposed bias against FLs?

Also, you claim people are “insulting” Yifan badly, but isn’t that the case for MLs in every drama when they make a mistake? And let’s not act like people defending Yifan are only acknowledging her pain and Sang Yan’s struggles too. Most of the defenses are about justifying her decision, often without considering the emotional toll it took on him. If we’re going to analyze trauma and emotional suffering, it has to apply to both characters, not just one.

Where exactly did you see people hating on her? I scrolled through the comments since episodes 24 and 25 dropped, and I didn’t see anyone hating on her for her trauma or suffering. The criticism is directed at her decision to leave Sang Yan, which seems fair to me.

Even the comments that criticize her still acknowledge her pain and suffering first. Some might do it just to avoid backlash—because people know that if they outright dismiss her trauma, they’ll get boycotted—but regardless, no one is actually attacking her for what she went through.

If you still found any comments that genuinely undermine her trauma, then please point them out so we can see.

While trauma is undeniably complex and affects individuals in ways they may not fully understand or control, it doesn’t absolve them of responsibility for their actions—especially when those actions hurt others. Acknowledging someone's pain shouldn't come at the cost of ignoring the pain they inflict on others. Where do you see us lacking empathy for her trauma? Even those who dislike her choice to leave Sang Yan still acknowledge and sympathize with the suffering she has endured since childhood.

The issue isn’t about dismissing her struggles—it’s about holding her accountable for the decisions she makes despite them. Understanding why someone acts a certain way doesn’t mean excusing what they do. Trauma may explain her actions, but it doesn’t make them the right course of action. Just as we empathize with her, we also have to acknowledge the pain she caused Sang Yan. Ignoring his suffering simply because her trauma seems "more valid" is unfair. Healing is a long process, yes, but part of that process should involve taking responsibility, not just seeking understanding.

Scroll down, and you’ll see plenty of comments like that. I’m not pointing fingers at a single user since there are multiple ones.

I get that she isn’t happy with her own decision, but she still made it, right? You’re all talking about her trauma, her pain from SA, and everything her family did to her. But can’t we also highlight Sang Yan’s pain? Most of the comments here focus only on the FL’s struggles—so what about his? Do his struggles not matter just because FL’s trauma seems more genuine to you, while ML’s suffering feels insignificant in comparison?

It’s a slow burn, and a really good one at that. But there are some issues—like the ML taking 99 steps while the FL hesitates to take even one. That being said, her personal growth and trauma are portrayed really well. Her hesitation makes sense, to be honest, but you can’t help but feel sorry for the ML and everything he’s had to endure.

There’s also a really annoying SML, but thankfully, the FL doesn’t respond to him—he’s just plain irritating.

All those comments saying, Do you know how much trauma an SA victim has to handle? How much PTSD they might have?—and insisting that we can’t understand her actions, that she did the right thing by leaving Sang Yan, and that there’s nothing wrong with her behavior—just one question. And don’t take this the wrong way, but how can you determine that what she did, like leaving him and going MIA, was the right thing?

Did all of you personally go through that experience, or is this just a hypothesis of what should have happened? Some of you might have personal experience, but that’s not the case for everyone, right?

Just like you argue that we don’t understand why she left Sang Yan because we don’t fully grasp SA and PTSD, the same can be said about you. You also don’t know for certain and are commenting based on your assumptions. So don’t use that argument to shut down criticism by claiming only you are right and we are wrong just because we’re pointing out flaws in her actions.

Having trauma doesn’t justify causing the same pain to a loved one that you yourself have suffered.

Hey, let’s keep the discussion focused on the drama and its characters. If you don’t agree with someone’s opinion, you can always ignore or block them—there’s no need to make it personal.

Drama opinions are subjective; just because you liked something doesn’t mean others have to feel the same way. And no matter how passionate we get about a show, basic manners shouldn’t be forgotten.

It’s because, in the end, she’s the one who gets a happy ending with our ML after everything. If, hypothetically, this were an older drama like Boys Over Flowers or Playful Kiss, where the ML treats the FL terribly but still gets a happy ending with her, would people hate him or his awful family members?

Since we are closer to WYF’s perspective, it’s natural that she’ll get some criticism for leaving the ML—just like the reverse would happen if he were the one who left her. So, in my opinion, the reaction is pretty accurate.

https://mydramanovel.com/first-frost/

If this is what creativity means, then I’m not sure it’s the kind we need in a drama. Logically, it would have made sense if she left the first time without realizing how much pain Sang Yan would go through. But now, she knows exactly what happened six years ago and how much he suffered because of it.

Her PTSD from SA is portrayed really well—I don’t think I’ve seen a C-drama handle it this heavily and accurately except for Tender Light. But even so, it doesn’t quite align with her character. Just because she disappeared for six months, are we supposed to believe all her trauma is suddenly gone and she magically gained the strength to fight back? That seems pretty illogical. If she had stayed and relied on Sang Yan for support, it would have made more sense. Instead, it feels like the script just decided, WYF will go MIA for six months, and when she returns, most of her trauma will be resolved as if she received strength from the Buddha.

But whatever—I was expecting too much from a C-drama. These days, very few manage to avoid disappointment, especially with how they always show the ML taking 99 steps while the FL refuses to take even one. Now, all I want is a genuine apology from her—one where she properly acknowledges everything she did and actively makes up for it in the future. If she proposes for marriage to him in a meaningful way, this drama might just make it to my favorites list.

Just because Sang Yan doesn’t mind doesn’t mean we shouldn’t either. He’s like a lovestruck puppy, so in love with Wen Yifan that he didn’t even ask for an apology when she left him six years ago. Honestly, his entire role in this drama revolves around WYF. We barely know what drives him or what struggles he faces beyond those related to her.

While I understand why she left this time because of her trauma, it doesn’t make sense for her to disappear twice without saying anything. Does she really think that just by leaving, her uncle will stop causing trouble for Sang Yan and his restaurant? That’s pretty naive, especially for a reporter. She could have at least done something for him before going MIA.

The novel handled this part beautifully, so there were no complaints. But in the drama, her leaving again—despite knowing how much pain she caused Sang Yan six years ago—makes her character feel two-faced and different from the WYF that we knew before.

The ML is incredibly immature, and the FL is so mature and understanding with him. Noona romances usually work for me because the FLs tend to be more mature while the MLs are a bit younger, but that doesn’t mean the ML should be so clueless that he creates unnecessary misunderstandings. He threw a completely unnecessary tantrum over the whole design-stealing issue, while the FL, being the more understanding one, helped him resolve it. Even when she saw pictures of him with another girl, she calmly asked him about it instead of immediately jumping to a breakup, unlike many older FLs in other dramas.

Watch The Atypical Family and your opinion will change for sure