Living Tribunal

How can you be sure she won’t leave him again if something even more traumatic happens in the future? To be honest, he’s already been abandoned twice, so I don’t think I could trust my partner not to do the same if things got tough again. In my opinion, while she does love him a lot, she has a tendency to run away, and that issue hasn’t been properly addressed yet—yet they’re already back together.

Yeah, I agree. Since WYF is a woman, her trauma is obviously more important than everyone else's. But Duan Jiaxu? Who even cares about his trauma? It doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things.

I understand that WYF’s trauma is completely deep and painful, but that doesn’t mean Sang Yan’s pain should be dismissed as minor. Your argument frames their suffering as a competition where only the more “severe” pain matters, but that’s not how relationships work. You don’t get to say, "SY's heartbreak is nowhere near as pitiful as WYF's trauma," and use that to justify her actions. Pain isn’t a ranking system—both are valid and deserve acknowledgment.

You say "who really needs help? WYF." Yes, but that doesn't mean SY should be treated as an afterthought. He spent years supporting her, loving her, and being by her side. Yet, when she decided to leave, she made that choice for him instead of with him. That’s the issue—her lack of communication. You keep emphasizing that her decision made sense in her mind, but that doesn’t erase the hurt she caused. Trauma explains actions; it doesn’t excuse them.

Also, you argue that "SY still got his whole buddy system, work, and loving family," implying that his pain is somehow lesser because he has a support system. But support doesn’t erase emotional suffering. Just because someone has friends doesn’t mean abandonment doesn’t hurt. SY’s pain isn’t just about being left—it’s about the fact that he was willing to fight for her, and she didn’t let him.

Regarding therapy, you mention "you expect a person in survival mode to think 'I will go seek therapy'?" No, but that’s exactly why communication is important. If she wasn’t in the right state to seek help, SY could have encouraged her. Instead, she shut him out completely. You say "it’s up to the more normal people around her to help," yet when SY tries to be that person, people act like he was being overbearing. So which is it? Should he have stepped in more, or is he expected to back off and let her handle things alone?

Finally, your emergency room analogy doesn’t quite work. Treating a head injury first doesn’t mean ignoring a knee wound—it means both are addressed, just with priority. But that’s not what happened here. WYF left without giving SY the chance to be part of the healing process. If she had communicated and asked for time, it would be different. Instead, she decided for both of them, leaving SY blindsided.

At the end of the day, no one expects a trauma survivor to act perfectly. But expecting basic communication and mutual respect in a relationship isn’t being “illogical” or “lacking empathy.” It’s holding both people accountable for their actions—because love isn’t just about who suffered more; it’s about navigating pain together, not alone.

Didn’t you say "I didn't like how they made Sang Yan mad at her and how Sang Yan in the novel handled her traumas"? Isn’t that exactly what many of the so-called "hate comments" about WYF are pointing out—how they didn’t like that she left instead of fighting together? So why is it okay for you to dislike how SY handled things in the novel, but when people dislike how WYF handled things in the drama, they’re suddenly unsympathetic to SA and PTSD victims?

It’s not about invalidating WYF’s trauma—it’s about the double standard. You’re allowed to critique SY’s portrayal, but the moment someone critiques WYF’s actions, they’re accused of lacking empathy. Why the hypocrisy? Just like you prefer how the drama changed SY’s reaction, others might prefer how the novel handled WYF’s decision. People are simply expressing their preferences, just like you did. But instead of allowing that discussion, WYF’s supporters immediately shut it down by questioning people’s morality. That’s not fair.

At the end of the day, both characters are flawed, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion about how their struggles were portrayed. If you can dislike how SY was written in the novel without being accused of "not understanding his pain," then others should be able to dislike how WYF was written in the drama without being labeled as "lacking empathy for SA survivors."

I understand that you're not saying leaving was right, but extending grace to SA victims doesn’t mean their actions are above scrutiny, especially when they impact others. No one is denying WYF’s pain, but at the same time, Sang Yan’s pain shouldn’t be dismissed either. You mentioned that she took the 6 months to build up her courage, but does that justify leaving without a word? Would it not have been more effective to communicate with Sang Yan instead of disappearing? Trauma is complex, and healing is different for everyone, but isolating herself and hurting someone who supported her doesn’t automatically become the best choice just because she felt it was right at the time.

Also, grace should be extended to everyone involved, not just WYF. Sang Yan was also hurt deeply by her actions, yet the conversation keeps shifting to justify why she had to leave instead of acknowledging that he also deserves consideration. Healing is important, but so is accountability, and WYF choosing to disappear again without explanation is a valid reason for criticism.

I get that you guys liked WYF leaving for 6 months because it felt realistic, but then why are you against the novel's version where Sang Yan gets mad at her? Isn't that also realistic? You can't have it both ways—saying FL can make flawed, human choices but ML has to be some perfect, green-flag saint whose entire world revolves around her.

The drama made Sang Yan more patient, which is nice, but it also kind of strips away the rawness of his character. In real life, people get frustrated, hurt, and even angry when they’re abandoned by someone they love. That doesn’t mean they don’t care—it actually shows how deeply they do care. So if WYF gets to have her moments of realism, why is Sang Yan expected to just be endlessly understanding?

At this point, it feels like MLs in dramas are only allowed to exist to support FLs, no matter how much they have to endure. Meanwhile, FLs can make all the "realistic" choices, even if it hurts the ML, and we’re just supposed to accept it because of their struggles. If we're applying realism, it should go both ways.

I appreciate your response, but I think there's a misunderstanding. First, you mentioned that Sang Yan said her world felt like a cage and that it would’ve been better if she left him—not because of the past. But isn't that exactly the problem? WYF made that decision for him instead of communicating with him. Empathy is important, and yes, you don’t need firsthand experience to understand emotions, but understanding doesn't mean blindly accepting every decision someone makes as the right one.

You also said, "I think everyone will probably open up one day if they find someone trustworthy. It just takes time." I agree—healing is a process. But WYF already had someone trustworthy in Sang Yan, yet she still walked away without giving him a chance. Trauma takes time, but abandoning someone without a word isn't a necessary part of that process. If anything, isolating oneself can make things worse.

And finally, your last point—"Not every realistic choice is right." Exactly. WYF’s decision might be realistic, but that doesn’t automatically make it right. People are allowed to criticize her choices without invalidating her trauma. Recognizing someone's pain doesn't mean excusing the harm they cause to others.

Your point about many SA victims not admitting to it or even realizing what they went through is valid, but that’s not the issue being debated here. No one is denying the reality of SA and PTSD. The discussion is about whether WYF’s actions—specifically leaving Sang Yan without explanation—were justified.

You said, "If we conduct a poll here now asking how many of the commenters have been SAd, you would be so shocked." But that’s exactly the point—just because someone has experienced SA doesn’t mean every survivor will react the same way. People process trauma differently. Some might shut everyone out, some might seek support, and others might take years to confront it. WYF’s way of dealing with it—abandoning the person who loved her without a word—was one path, but not necessarily the only or most reasonable one.

And then you said, "How do you know I haven't gone through what Wen Yi Fan has?" But by that same logic, how do you know the people criticizing her haven’t also experienced trauma in their own way? You’re assuming that everyone who disagrees with WYF’s choices is speaking from ignorance, but what if they’ve been through something similar and handled it differently? Experience doesn’t automatically validate an argument—logic does.

Lastly, "At least she had the courage to speak up, but was ignored." That is heartbreaking, but it still doesn’t justify leaving Sang Yan. She had the courage to speak up, yet she still made a choice that deeply hurt someone who loved her. Acknowledging her pain and holding her accountable for her actions are two separate things. People aren’t upset about what happened to her—they’re upset about how she handled it in relation to Sang Yan.

At the end of the day, trauma explains actions, but it doesn’t necessarily justify them. That’s the difference.

Yeah, calling her brainless wasn’t good at all, and you’re absolutely right to call that out. But it’s best to keep it about the comment itself and not make it personal—otherwise, it just ends up being the same kind of negativity. At the end of the day, discussions like these are more meaningful when they stay fair and focused! Thanks for understanding 😊

😂 Bro, just switch off your phone and sleep. Otherwise, before you know it, episodes 26 and 27 will be out, and we’ll still be here, stuck in an endless loop of debates!

Exactly! The fact that this drama is sparking so much debate just proves how impactful it is. A lot of hardcore fans of this drama and WYF don’t get that even the so-called "bad" comments are actually helping. More comments mean more traction, and that only makes the drama more visible to international fans. At the end of the day, all engagement is good engagement!

Mei Mei, weren’t you just saying you were tired and going to sleep? What happened—did a second wind hit or is the FOMO too strong? 😂

You make some fair points about empathy and understanding, but there are a few contradictions in your argument that need to be addressed.

First, you said, "We learn to empathize and research—it’s easy, just search up the topic and read papers and research." If that’s the case, then why dismiss others who criticize WYF’s actions? If people can research PTSD and SA to understand WYF, then why can’t the same logic apply to Sang Yan’s pain? Just because his struggles aren’t as extreme as WYF’s doesn’t mean they should be brushed aside. You can’t advocate for empathy while selectively applying it.

Second, you claim, "Rather than blaming directly and making SY look like a god, why not pull back and think?" No one is making SY a god, but let’s be real—his life wasn’t as easy as you’re making it sound. Yes, he had a supportive family, but emotional suffering isn’t a competition. He was abandoned by the person he loved without explanation and had to carry that pain for six years. You also questioned why he never pushed her to get therapy—why is that entirely on him? If we’re arguing about personal responsibility, shouldn’t WYF also be responsible for seeking help? She’s an adult, and she knew she had issues, so why does all the burden fall on SY?

Then you said, "No one ever said it was the ‘right’ thing for her to do." But right after, you justified it by saying, "To HER, it was the right thing." That’s exactly what we’re debating—whether her perception of it being ‘right’ makes it actually reasonable. Just because she thought it would help Sang Yan doesn’t mean it did. It’s like saying, "She left because she thought it would protect him." Okay, but did it? No. He suffered immensely. So was it truly the best decision? That’s why people are criticizing her actions—not invalidating her trauma, but pointing out the flaws in her choices.

Finally, you mentioned that "everyone has different walks of life and we should try to understand others." That goes both ways. You’re asking people to empathize with WYF but dismissing those who empathize with Sang Yan. That’s not fair. If we’re expected to understand WYF’s trauma, then the same courtesy should be extended to SY’s pain instead of downplaying it.

At the end of the day, criticizing WYF’s choices doesn’t mean people don’t understand her struggles. It just means they acknowledge that pain doesn’t justify hurting others—especially someone who’s already suffered because of her once before.

I think you have some misunderstanding. When did I even reply to you? My comment was directed at Ayinke737, not you, so I’m not sure why you’re responding on their behalf.

Also, you said, "Leaving Sang Yan feels sad, but it is more realistic." But how do you know it’s realistic? That was my original question. You guys are dismissing my argument simply because it doesn’t align with your opinion, and you're acting as if you're morally superior just because you have empathy for WYF.

But here’s the thing—if you haven’t personally experienced SA or PTSD, how can you confidently claim that her decision is realistic? By your own logic, if we can’t critique her actions without experiencing her trauma firsthand, then you also can’t claim that her leaving Sang Yan was the right or realistic choice without having lived through it yourself. You can’t have it both ways.

She did in one of the earlier episodes but I forgot which one. Rewatch them if you like maybe you will find your answer.

Mu Cheng Yun. He will only irritate you for 3-4 episodes max as he doesn't have much scenes after that

Did you actually read and understand my comment? If you did, you would have realized that I was making a point about how, just like you say we don’t understand her decision to leave Sang Yan because we haven’t experienced her trauma, pain, SA, and PTSD, the same applies to you.

You also haven’t experienced it firsthand—you’re just trying to understand her actions based on sympathy and empathy. So how can you determine that you are right while we are wrong, just because you feel for her situation?

Don’t take this the wrong way, but most of you haven’t gone through SA or PTSD either. So how can you be so sure that her actions were the right response to her trauma? Stop acting superior by claiming that your empathy makes you correct while dismissing our valid criticism. Just because we don’t agree with one of her decisions—leaving Sang Yan—doesn’t mean we’re heartless or wrong.

If you’re tired, that’s understandable, but saying I didn’t read the comments from when episodes 24/25 aired isn’t a valid argument. I did read them, and from what I saw, people were criticizing her decision, not her trauma. If you have specific examples that prove otherwise, feel free to show them tomorrow—I’ll wait.

Also, my comment doesn’t disapprove of people talking about her trauma. Acknowledging her pain is important, and I never said otherwise. What I did say is that Sang Yan’s pain also deserves recognition. The issue isn’t people discussing her trauma—it’s the way some are dismissing his struggles as if they don’t matter. If you think my point is solely about invalidating her trauma, then you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying.

If we’re talking about understanding trauma, then let’s be fair about it. No one is dismissing Yifan’s pain—most comments acknowledge it before criticizing her decision to leave Sang Yan. The issue people have isn’t with her suffering but with how she handled things with him.

You say that when it comes to FLs, there’s always a lack of understanding, but where exactly? If anything, FLs often get more understanding than MLs in similar situations. If you scroll down and check the discussions on I May Love You, Have a Crush on You, and Filter, you’ll see how MLs were dragged for every little thing. In I May Love You, the ML simply said he didn’t know the FL well enough to love her, and that was enough for people to call him trash and say he didn’t deserve her. Meanwhile, in The Best Thing, the FL rejected the ML in a harsh way, yet most viewers defended her, saying she was right to focus on healing. So where exactly is this supposed bias against FLs?

Also, you claim people are “insulting” Yifan badly, but isn’t that the case for MLs in every drama when they make a mistake? And let’s not act like people defending Yifan are only acknowledging her pain and Sang Yan’s struggles too. Most of the defenses are about justifying her decision, often without considering the emotional toll it took on him. If we’re going to analyze trauma and emotional suffering, it has to apply to both characters, not just one.

Where exactly did you see people hating on her? I scrolled through the comments since episodes 24 and 25 dropped, and I didn’t see anyone hating on her for her trauma or suffering. The criticism is directed at her decision to leave Sang Yan, which seems fair to me.

Even the comments that criticize her still acknowledge her pain and suffering first. Some might do it just to avoid backlash—because people know that if they outright dismiss her trauma, they’ll get boycotted—but regardless, no one is actually attacking her for what she went through.

If you still found any comments that genuinely undermine her trauma, then please point them out so we can see.