snowfallsslowly

There are some really great ones of varying genres:

if you want masterful writing and one of the most incredible and smartest female characters, Story of Ming lan.
Nirvana in fire is a masterpiece political revenge battle of wits.
Something that's a costume show but has fantasy Love between fairy and devil, one of the best love stories ever.
Another one with a great main cast of female characters is A dream of splendor.
If you don't mind harem shows Yanxi palace also has one of the most badass and intelligent female leads in anything ever.

I read a post from weibo that someone translated and it kind of broke my heart a little.

"Who will feel sorry for Wei shao? Who has given him unconditional love? His grandmother loves him but she trains him as a young king and prefers his cousin, his mother loves him but she regards him as emotional sustenance for her deceased family, XQ loves him but she loves her family more. Everyone's love for him is conditional but his for them is unconditional and even has no bottom line. His mother drugged him, his grandmother was partial, his cousin was immoral, his wife calculating but he forgave them all... He carefully cherishes the little warmth everyone gives him because he has never known what it's like to be loved wholeheartedly".

I keep re-watching their fight because I like to hurt myself and realizing new things each time. The way he said " Enough you'd anything if it gets me to fight for Yanzhou" after she said she'd give anything for him even her life really cut deep. I really hope she'll prove that she actually means it.

I love them both as well I'm on his side in this conflict because she's in the wrong and I do believe we've seen just how much he cherishes her but not the same from her not to mention we're going to get the speech about how his life without her is meaningless even after everything so I have nothing to complain about from his side rn but I very much have doubts about what she's going to do and say and it that will match the depth of his actions and words.

His grandmother is so funny, his mother is spouting absolute nonsense as he's going war, and she's like remove her from here... lmao

I'm laughing because we're having 2 conversations at the same time. Yes I feel the same but the question is will it actually happen? I don't have much faith it will.

Which were the situations where she put him first that could've been bad in her favor? All I can think of is her coaxing him when he's being jealous and yielding first because he's just being petty and childish and those actually cost her nothing. I can't even think of a situation where you can say she put him first? Something that's even 10% of the magnitude of her grandpa's rites, even if we don't consider like I said that it's all advantageous to her and she has no other choice at this point but to do it to keep the peace and protect her clan.

Exactly!!!! I'll gladly eat my words if she's the one who either says something like it to him first or says it back but I very much doubt it.

I feel like all those were situations that cost her next nothing, on the contrary it bought her good will from him and goes to the goal of protecting her clan. I do think there's a right and wrong but like you said it depends on how you see it; Him lashing out at her because of his cousin's nonsense? He was completely in the wrong, here? I do believe she is but that's my opinion. Him putting her first means turning his back on his dead family and that costs everything. And it does put in question everything she did in the past because she admitted she never trusted him so all those words and actions were they even real?

True but it's the same thing to him, because they promised they would send help and if they had there's a huge chance all or at least some of them would still be alive. Them dying by their enemies hands is expected since they were in battle, them dying because of their allies? That's unconscionable.

I love these chats as well it's so nice to just discuss things with respect and logic despite our opinions being opposite. I want to see first how she leads the troops it's very confusing in the preview.
And absolutely she's done a lot for the people but my issue boils down to their relationship, just them. Regardless of the people or their families or for him in-spite of their families, his deep hatred for hers and his deep guilt for his like he said look at what he did for her grandpa there's no bigger gesture of love and trust humanely possible for someone in his situation.

I can get over if they indeed show us something at the same level from her of course tailored to her situation and her pov that shows just as much trust and love, that goes against everything she holds dear because he already did the same but I'm not holding my breath. Her leading the troops is her making up for the consequences of her own actions + protecting her own clan and land so it really doesn't say much to me at this point.

I just watched their fight again and I teared up when it's usually really rare for me to cry. He looks so betrayed and heartbroken and no matter what happens even if they win Wei men and soldiers who put their trust and faith in WS as their lord are going to lose their lives because of this. How are they going to just make him gloss over this in a logical way in one episode that by 31 he doesn't care and his declaring his undying love?

She said she's/he's her family as well but that obviously just lip service. It's kind of strange that he trusts the daughter of the clan that annihilated his and loves her to the point of doing what he did for her grandpa and what he did even after this betrayal and yet she's not expected to do the same.

Exactly he's shown he can go even against what most humans would never be capable of for her but expecting her to put a little trust in him is too much?

I'm not saying the power dynamics aren't in play, of course they are. I'm saying as they stand each from their own position needs to show us that love and trust she's been touting for at least 5 episodes. At the end of the day he has and she hasn't. He suppressed it? Of course he did. That alone is a miracle but that suppression resulted in actions such as giving his dead brother's spear to hers, in holding the rites of his sworn enemy, literally what more could he do? This is already beyond what any normal human being is capable of. And this is fiction as people expect a ML to be madly in love and throw away everything for the woman he loves I expect my romantic couples to show equal devotion and love to each other.

This is reasonable but we need to hear it from her and believe it because so far she's been non stop saying how much she loves him, she'll always follow him but in the end that was all bs because her actions in this show otherwise. The only way for me to believe it is her actions and I would see this as her making a huge mistake and learning from it and actually this being her turn to show that she will put him first like he did if it wasn't for the preview telling us he's the one running to her and declaring his undying love... To which she'll probably cry and say nothing and it's all resolved.

It actually is in this situation because he showed his trust and love for her in way that for him is just as hard if not harder. How is him doing everything he did for her any less difficult than it would've been to just tell him the truth about this one thing? How is him saying and showing "you matter more to me than the man who killed my family who I hated since I was a child and was trained to kill for more than decade so much so that I will accompany you in your mourning for him" any less. Of course she's not as powerful as him but he's proven multiple times that he will put her first is it so crazy to expect her to not even do the same but show a modicum of trust.

Reading some comments really makes me think there are 2 different sets of rules for WS and QM.

It's romantic that Wei Shao loves her above all else even his family as shown by his giving of his brother's spear the rites for her grandfather (the cause of so much pain and trauma for him) and even going to protect her clan with half an army (many of which are going to die because of this) because of the tunnel she created VS how of course Qiao Man should put her family first because she doesn't know when he might turn on her when he has long shown her otherwise.

So he can and should let go of his hatred and his pain so far as to do this practically superhuman thing (can anyone say they would hold the rites of the man responsible for their family's death in their own home because they love their spouse so much?) and put her first despite their family histories but she can't do the same (it's not even the same just a little trust)...Okay.

Yeah I just really hope we see her reciprocate the words with ones as heartfelt and idk what the preview is showing with her going to ambush the villain??? Everyone's saying it but the way it's shot and when she says "if he wants to come back together it's okay if not..." doesn't seem like she's going to war so I'm kind of confused??

Hi, this is all in the spirit of discussion I hope you don't find it irksome, I don't begrudge her building the tunnel at all it made complete sense at the time but she should've told him about it after like he said and her response really showed that she doesn't trust him. And of course he benefited from her help what I meant was her being close to him and helping him directly benefits her and her family and it all depends on what happens now, I would agree with you if it wasn't for the previews showing just how lovesick he is, they've basically made him a puppy and that's all dandy if I really thought we'd see her now show up for him in the same way.
You said the real trust begins but he already trusted her and like I said earlier it's just words but what does it actually translate to concretely? It's not like he treated her like shit before once they softened he gave her as much care in his own way. If I thought in the next 7 episodes she'll truly show she loves him more than anything like he has done and that he means as much to her as her family then that would be great but as I said the previews show they're digging deeper into how insane he is about her, chasing her, saying his life would be meaningless without her but will we get the same actions and words from her?