Kate

IN THE DEFENSE OF TUTOR BREAKING UP WITH FIGHTER
People being annoyed and angry at Tutor and saying him breaking up with Fighter coz of his dad is lazy writing don't understand his character at all and it shows.

The boy is broken. Has been broken for years. Always being good friend, perfect student, understanding tutor, mature and excellent worker. Fighting for every little thing in his life and yet never wanting to burden others with his existence. How he needed the job but he always assured the people he was working for it's okay if they can't pay him now or have to fire him. Coz he understand everyone has it hard in life. And he can push through it. Coz he always did. And it's what expected from him.

So he finally had these few days that seems too good to be true. He didn't have to fight for anything, could relax, go and do what his feelings told him, being babied and taken care of by Fighter. How amazingly happy it was but also coming back from this trip... how terrifying. He right away started to worry again: how will people react, how he will face Hwahwa, what they will do with Fighter's dad. A few more bricks on that wall of the pressure he felt for years. So Fighter's dad clearly stating he is against him and Fighter was a breaking point. Yet another thing he will have to fight for. Why can't he have this one thing that bring him happiness? He is exhausted with being strong. He is exhausted. Everyone expecting him to be brave and fight. It seemed like it never crossed anyone's mind that it's hard on him. That's he is weak and needs help and support to. That he needs to be taken care of.

Even Fighter's gift, at first I thought it was amazingly cute how he said "Fighter does not mean me, it means you are fighter"... after episode 11 it seems tragic. Telling someone who was struggling with showing his weaknesses and always pushing forward even tho they were barely keeping it together and on the brink of breaking down, how strong they are is just sad. While at the moment it may seem to Tutor that someone sees his struggle and how hard it was for him, it's just yet another person seeing him as this strong mature guy who can deal with anything thrown his way. More high expectations from others, more pressure added. What Tutor should hear is not how strong he is, but that it's okay to be weak, to give up, to fail, to cry, to ask for help and not always be there for people you love/like, if it may harm you. It's okay not to be this perfect being that anyone can count on. It's okay to be flawed. But he didn't get that. What he got was: you are fighter.

I relate to Tutor extremely. Once you take that "I am strong, I can deal with anything, I am a good person" persona, it;s extremely hard to show any form of weaknesses. It's EXTREMELY hard to talk about your feelings and emotions. You can openly talk about bad events in your life, but it's drained from any emotional aspects. You just tell the facts, say how it made you stronger, how much you have learned, how it does not bother you anymore. You never admit how hard it was, how you wanted to scream for help but you just couldn't. Coz that's not who you are and that's not what people expect from you... and everyone has their own problems to deal with. How Fighter said Tutor should stop acting like he is in a soap opera I wanted to thrown my laptop out of the window. When you feel like you hard the whole world on your shoulders for years, that no one ever cared enough to see how weak you are, how much you struggle, the smallest thing can be too much. There were times when I cried in the morning because I could not find matching socks. Not being able to find matching socks felt like the world and destiny is against me. Why can't even such a small thing as finding socks be easy for me? The building pressure was at it's peak and these socks were just that one drop that made the building emotions overflow. For Tutor, it was Fighter's dad. It was that one thing that made him give up and break down.

So I'm sorry, but him finally breaking down makes sense and fits into how his character was written perfectly. Tutor is literally emotionally exhausted with his life, he is done. He has no strength left to fight for anything. I will protect this baby with all my heart. Both him and Fighter are in pain and victims of this messed up situation and how their lives treated them. No one should be blamed here.

In Fighter I put my trust and here is way:
Let's start with how misleading the teasers are. Remember how in the teaser of today's ep Hwahwa was shown as a total angry B? Well... she turned out to support the boiz and fangirl over them. We might get similar twist in the FighTor "problematic bed scene".
What's more: how selfless was Fighter during the break up. He was totally clueless. He has been ignored by Tutor for quite some time after all the promises they made. He had NO idea where the break up is coming from and yet he apologized to Tutor! He wasn't angry, he wasn't throwing a tantrum. He accepted Tutor's decision and kept the promise he made: he let his hand go. He know if he broke down if front of Tutor it would be even more painful for the boy he loves so much so he kept smiling. He did hide his pain just to make sure Tutor will suffer a little bit less. Up till now their WHOLE relationship was build in consent and assurance. I refuse to believe the writers will ruin it with the scene shown in preview.
The magic of editing is wild. I trust they were assholes and put the scene in the preview as a shock value, but it will play differently in a full context. I believe Fighter is a sweet potato and not human trash.
That's it. I am not willing to give Fighter up just yet.
But if I'm wrong... damn it will hurt even more.

From what I read on twitter so far from writers and production team... it will not be too bad. Also, I trust Fighter and how his character was written. He literally apologized to Tutor as Tutor was breaking up with him. He had no idea why this was happening but he was still the one apologizing. He was smiling while trying not to cry because he knew it would break Tutor. Such a selfless man would never do the shit they shown in the preview.
I mean in the preview of ep 11 they made Hwahwa look like a bi**** but in the ep itself she was supporting and fangirling over them.
anyway, I have a faith !

I am not here for what they shown in teaser with fighter forcing himself on Tutor. He better stop 0.0001 second after what we saw in the teaser or I will be flipping. It's SO out of the character for him.

Instead of being sad we need to wait for new eps and don't really know what to expect from the series now, let's all appreciate and support the cast, coz they are even more unsure and disappointed in the current scenerio happening.

So to brighten our day, I will share yet another poem for Zee lol

The adorable boi with the brightest smile
Haven't seen such a beauty for quite a while
The innocent and love hidden in his eyes
He just blinks, nothing else and my heart dies

I've been living on this planet, existing, nothing more
without knowing Zee earlier - just crying on the floor
Years without happiness and the purest guy
He shines brighter than all the stars on the sky.

Now that I watch him play Fighter on the screen
I start to understand what "true talent" really means
Looking at his photos might be my daily routine
One smile from him and my soul is clean.

I am 100% whipped for the boy, guilty of charge.

"Why R U always so Cute and Handsome??" well that sums it up pretty well haha
I have to say I'm amazed with this guy. He is such a pure and talented soul and has one of the most genuine smiles I have seen. The more I zee him in videos outside of his role as Figher, the more I appreciate him.

The behind the scenes episode was cute and I got inspired to write another "poem" showing my love for Zee, enjoy (if you can lol)

"Heartbroken but happy"

When Zee said: I love you Saint
My own feelings had to be restrained...
It pains me - this one sided crush
But what can I do, when Saint makes him blush?
As long as the cute boy named Saint treats him well
I won't complain that this unrequited love feels like hell.

while I agree that some people are far too negative about the current situation I also don't think it's bad to criticize shows and point out their flaws. If the producers/writers/directors of the shows won't hear from fans what they don't like and what would be good to improve, they won't do it. If we want better shows in the future, we need to voice our opinions. It's their job, not a hobby. They don't produce shows for free. They earn money because we watch them, so we have the right to say if something was off.
While current situation with COVID-19 is bad and we should not blame the problems the show is facing now coz of it, it's also true that even before it happened, FighTor was "treated" better than Zon and Saifah (and I am HUGE Fightor fan). There are no excuses for the previous episodes. If they didn't want to give enough screen time to them, they should not promote them as one of the main couple from the start.

:surprised pikachu face:
damn Phukong.

Basically Fighter is scared potato and Tutor is Satan himself lol
It was shown quite a few times that Tutor likes to tease Fighter and when Fighter wants to kiss him and continue, Tutor stops him. I cannot really blame Fighter for being confused at times.
Fighter is REALLY soft and it's quite obvious it's Tutor being in control all the time.

Basically Fighter really wants Tutor, but at the same time he does not want to pressure Tutor into doing something he is not ready to do.
In the scene of their first time Fighter says "Kissing is enough" not "Can I kiss you" which more or less means: I can wait, I want it but if you need more time, I can wait.
How I see it: Fighter is a bit scared of how much he likes and wants Tutor and he is afraid of losing control over his own emotions and actions. That's why when they stand on that pier he says he's okay with doing it once, but if Tutor wants 2nd round he is more than happy to comply. Aka he is ready to wait until Tutor thinks it's a right time to do it again. He promises he won't pressure Tutor into doing it again. So Tutor saying "It's me breaking the promise, not you" is basically him saying: I am ready, this is what I want. You are not doing anything wrong.
I found it amazingly refreshing tbh. They don't go "we did it once so doing it again is not a big deal" way.
Long story short: Fighter is not saying "I don't mind it being just one night stand" he is saying "I'm willing to wait until you are ready to do it again".

okay the first mistranslation is HUGE! And it changes a bit of the meaning behind his action.
But the 2nd omg... like... listen... this shit... wow ain't PG13 hahahaha
Thank you sooooo much for letting me know :)

You said exactly what I wanted to say. It;s obvious they will promote the show with more well known actor, aka Bright. Comparing ig following of an actor who has been in many projects to an actor who's literally on his first project is quite ridiculous way of "measuring bias" for me.

I would agree she had less will to survive than a not depressed person would, but I wouldn't go as far as suicide or that she planned to do it that day since there wasn't anything indicating it strongly enough. So yeah, I just thought the word suicide is too strong. At the end of the day, it was an accident...

when she went to the grave it was not snowing. It caught her by surprised as she was coming back. She remembered the wooden place so she thought it would be better to hide there (smart). I assume she tried to call for help with phone but could not get the signal. She was extremely surprised she was able to call Seo Woo. In a situation like hers people usually don't exactly think rationally.

As far as I see Kang In Wook looked depressed too. And she didn't commit suicide, she died in an accident. Something happened in the past that might have resulted in Ha Won's mother death (?) and it involved Ji Soo's husband. She went to Norway to apologize (for whatever happened). I'd day all main cast have depression or depressive moods.

posted it. It;s not as deep as it was previously, since we already know a lot about the characters. It was rather putting the scene and how it went taking into consideration what happened in the show so far :D

MY LOVELY PEOPLE
welcome to another session of: Kate over-analyzing shit coz she is stupid, but it's also kind of interesting so whatever. Let's dive into bedroom scene in episode 9. And all you thirsty people calm down (lol), I will keep it PG13 and be focusing on the emotional aspects I saw in it (especially the few lines that were delivered).

So let's quickly rehash at what point of FighTor relationship we are before the scene happens: Fighter finally accepted his feelings for Tutor. Tutor is happy. They decide to see how it goes for a few days on that beach trip. They are all fluff and hearts in the eyes. Then we have THE scene. I won't be talking about the whole scene coz ain't nobody have time for it. I will focus on just few moments that caught my attention the most.

The whole beginning of the scene is a nice set up for Fighter: he is checking on Tutor all the time: is it's okay, if he can continue, if he didn't do anything wrong. He pauses and makes sure that it's something Tutor wants too. If he can truly go with it. He no more confused ass, he evolved into unsure ass.

"Can I kiss you" DAMN! Listen, when I first watched the scene I was like "you dumb asshole, you literally been kissing him all over the body" but when I thought about it a bit more and it made so much sense that he would ask! He wants to kiss Tutor so much, but he is scared of how much he wants it. He is still unsure if this is okay. He is asking Tutor if he can continue. His voice is so soft here, almost pleading. Can I really do it? He had feelings for Tutor for over two years, now he is finally with him, and yet he still feels like he should ask if it's okay. I love it. Coz they made it seem like after the confession scene Fighter is all ready to commit and it's Tutor being unsure and more reserved, but in these more intimate scene we can see that Fighter is still his old confused ass, coz people don't just magically change who they are. And it's not easy to accept your feelings, especially when you feel like you cannot control yourself. It's simply scary. It scares Fighter how much he loves Tutor. That's why he always ask Tutor, because he needs confirmation that it's okay.

And then... he runs away. And I love it! How much I love his unsure ass. How scared he is of not being able to control himself. But Tutor has none of it and goes for the kiss. And I appreciate so much what he says then: "You make me yearn for it, then you leave". Fighter does not just tease Tutor to see how much Tutor wants him this time. He runs away coz he is scared of his own feelings and how strong they are. And with Tutor saying that Fighter actions make him want it too, it calms Fighter down emotionally: he wants it to, it's not just me going crazy for this boy, he wants it to. It's okay to have this moment. It's okay to go forward. Tutor is far more emotionally mature. I said it from the beginning, that Tutor was sure of his feelings for Fighter, but was not sure about Fighter's feelings for him. But now that he can see Fighter loves him, he is willing to risk it and take that step forward and guide Fighter. Coz that's how I see it, Tutor is emotionally guiding Fighter, who most likely never was in a serious relationship.
That said, damn I didn't like Tutor's acting while delivering the whole "I already know what you brought" line. It was too "I'm seducing you" and not enough "I'm comforting you". That said, he follows at the end with this "hm?" and I found it fitting so much. Like, this one sound brought the tension down. But I could tell these were two different takes, so maybe they were focusing on a different emotions in the two of them?
Anyway, what I want to say, with this scene we yet again can see the whole dynamic of the couple: Tutor is the leading one while Fighter is following him. After all they've been through, the confession, obvious love Tutor has for him, Fighter still asks himself if that's okay.

And well... Tutor giving him a green light was the breaking point.

BUT THEN! He asks AGAIN! "Are you ready, Tor?" Coz he just has to make sure over and over and over again. That this is okay, this is what Tutor wants. It's not just him wanting this to happen, it's both of them. And then again "Ready, Tor." and waits till Tutor "approves" and he only reacts after Tutor says "Come closer to me". Coz from the beginning it was always Tutor in control.

That's all I have to say. I will most likely never rewatch this scene again. This rewatch made me pick up some details that made the scene far too real for me to be comfortable to watch it again (if you curious what they were, I can tell, but damn it might be too much of an info lol). I hope both Saint and Zee knew about this scene and how it will be shot before they agreed to be part of this project and they were fully aware what they are getting themselves into. Coz it was intense. And with any other media I would not care coz it;s easier for the actor to move on from the project and the characters they are playing, but with fan service in BLs, the actors are expected to at least partially stay in the character for the promotion period or even longer if the ship is well loved. And this can affect a person.

I wrote the analysis hahaha should I drop it in comment? lol