ammmz

but if she gets what she wants and doesn't grow then yea...they did romanticize it (imo)

she has a happily ever after and why? because her childhood sucked? mine too lol a happy ending means nothing in the face of what they did and had her do and be. that's the opposite of reality. if someone acts like that with a spurred on from a very toxic part of a disorder (and more often than not that happens but these are very co-occuring thigns and it doesnt just exist as one thing. and it is a lot based on your response to trauma. doesnt mean u can treat ppl like that and let it get so bad. the minute you are abusing others by not coping is the minute they can exit your life) they will face their due consequences because it becomes about THEM and their need to use. this iteration of her character is what they chose and they allowed that to be a crutch and an excuse and that reinforces them being /right/

they chose to keep that

they entrap people (she did) and they whittle them down to stone. her happily ever after is a slap in the face. if she got one then that relationship will be filled with disgust and abhorrence. i have a really difficult time with this topic bc it's hard to pin down just how much these things can ruin your life. we have to find correct words to talk about it but in the show they give us little to no information about it because they don't even know.

when you're abused you have to develop a way to live and preserve yourself. unfortunately some people create such a shield that they mimic the very people who raised and abused them. it can go two ways: we have to vow we will never treat others that way and work hard at not killing ourselves because of their terror OR to adapt to the terror you become it. when you become the terror that is these tendencies that have an abusive component (again no one depicts it esp "sociopathy" in a benign way. these terms really need to be deaggregated which a lot of psychs are pushing for!!!) it is no longer up to us to stay.

the mark of someone who acts like this is lifelong so we're either gonna have a person who is willing to get better and shows the signs if this is negatively affecting their life or the worst most outlandish characteristic. the reason people have an issue with BPD is because they conflate these problems with it but they are simply not on the same level though it is VERY POSSIBLE to have co-occuring disorders and one can capitalize off the other and make things demonic.

they're hard to get, to diagnosis, if they wanted her to have an affect of disinterest it could have been like this

https://kisskh.at/23442-the-happy-loner

i'm really proud to have the brain i do and it's much easier to talk about these in terms of traits.. i am not harmful or dangerous, i'm not angry, i have something that is more like "quiet" disorder. i'm interested in changing the stigma the way people are viewed but part of that is realizing there are traits to these things and spectrums and it must be done with care and i don't think they were up for that.

living with someone like this is a nightmare. i don't even like with someone like this (with ASPD) but i know how i came to be and my coping mechanisms and i vowed i cannot hurt others like that. i dunno some food for my own thought sorry buddy for my long response





her happy ending is her false reality and the writers going "ok yea that was like a fun little sprinkle in there and she's grown now guys!"

i quit bc of the age gap and also her because there was 0 humanity but lmao this girl laid down her whole life for a jawn with a corner shop just to come in and be awful to everyone and to get dicked down by an Oldie (ok psj is like 3 yrs older than me but for her he is!!)

well that's part of the point because they are obfuscating a complex issue. i have borderline and i know i am not a "psycho" and i know right from wrong and i do not typically present as the textbook borderline. taht article says there is no strict definition for sociopathy and that's why we need to look at it more of a spectrum. that being said, the show is not interested in that and she does not change. and on top of that you need intense therapy since you were young but the condition can't be diagnosed until your 18 because of certain factors. there is no true definition per se so if they wanted to portray it in a more benign manner—without minimizing the struggle of a person and how difficult this can be for them and those around them—since this article talks about being asocial which is disinterest with no ill will but antisocial as disinterest and a more negative view of society. all of these things overlap; i wouldn't touch that statistic of those in prison bc that's nasty but the reason it's like this more often than not is because we are seeing the worst of the worse.

they also mention ppl develop coping skills via trauma. yep, so do narcissists. that doesn't mean you get to inflict pain. clearly they are conflating her emotional terrorist awful behavior and propping it up with the diagnosis but refusing to acknowledge it isn't doing anything to humanize bc
a) it's too frickin complex and even that diagnosis in the show's world is bonkers since it seems like no one gives a shit about like actual therapy and community health
b) it can, and often is, unhealthy. full stop.

they say here there is almost always a co-occuring issue and i've watched a lot about narcissism etc thhis weekend (dealing with it bc of my family and our dysfunctional unit) that the reason and reticence to diagnose is because usually people who get help are at their last resort or come in to treat some other disorder and then the licensed therapist or psych finds out and you must act accordingly and that is a long-haul, a long process, and something many of them will not bother to do because it simply does not matter.

"A key factor in successful therapy for ASPD is recognizing individual fault. People living with ASPD who can’t admit or accept their actions are harmful or that they have a role in the harm they’ve caused may not be able to improve. "

ths is a great piece of information but it explains to you and maps out for you the consequences and the frequency. stigma is real but that's for mental health and certain disorders (again i have BPD and there's such bs surrounding it but whatever i dont care bc i know myself as well.) there's a component of lack of empathy and it being on scales and the terror that can be caused if left untreated, there's a lack of understanding individual fault; if they wanted to show ASPD on this spectrum than they should have leaned towards the asocial but they didn't. they didn't because they didn't research and because it's not interesting enough. after all, the show's variation on the name is "Crazy but it's ok" and that tells us all we need to know. they don't respect this shit and the characters they made are just awful emotional and psychological pieces of shit or abusers. i can understand the formation of these things without accepting that certain people cannot and will not change and do not want to which is not. good. these diagnosis are so complex so why did the show even frickin' bother if they dont know/??

i want to say that i think this does affect our views but media is only doing what it can insofar as what our society looks like and media generally serves the goal for capitalism's needs. if we want representation, though i am not a champion of it and do not believe it changes our material conditions; we change the world first so media must comply, then it isnt out of the realm for people to do due diligence, investigate, and truly inspect what they are writing.

and look if we are doing this much detail and discussing about IOTNBO im ....gonna be positive and say those writers didnt even do this much lmao sorry i'm about as much of a psychologist as those ppl are the difference is i am also crazy with a marginalized disorder that i find to be wildly inaccurate and stupid. also i am gonna assume like ost of us do not have degrees in this and are just garnering from what we know and our own experiences.

i urge people to read further the OP is stating the affects of the disorder on the characters and within the show not how they depicted it there is A DIFFERENCE in the two so if they were going to focus on severity than it shouldnt be about how much he bogs others down. i dont know if the second part of my sentence is what OP means but that's my interpretation. also there's a consistent pattern of this depiction in kdramas and there is ableism full stop. if he were to have this disorder in this way i would rather have it be like in "save me 2" where you exist and show the struggles but not at the expense of the character being human and it being hard to take care of this.

i will link below:

some important relevant links:
https://thewinnower.com/papers/2894-sociocultural-beliefs-and-attitudes-in-autism-and-the-effects-on-families-in-south-korea
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/study-finds-high-rate-of-autism-in-south-korea/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26122467/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6838605/
https://www.npr.org/2011/05/09/136066097/autism-may-be-far-more-common-study-suggests

love this ty. gangnam beauty is like a more benign vers of it but i woudl addit to the true beauty esque thing. they're trying to show basically and not give us any background on the societal issues in-depth. they are saying "these are these people and this is what they look like and present as and that's good enough." with gangnam beauty the boys were judgemental and assault-y many times and the "fat" girl and others were constantly subject to standards but that was it. it was like ok you're here and that's good enough. these women in these dramas (not tb tho) were insufferable lmao fucking hated the way they were written. terror is not a good woman character make (and crazy ruthless bitches CAN be done well but if we are supposed to hate them, we do, and can make that decision not by being shown THESE ARE WOMEN AND THESE ARE THEIR PROBLEMS and not following through on an emotional and story level or non-expositionally as if humans are in specific boxes so we can categorize them as stock characters. which leads me to: does it need to be named? think of sky castle that was brimming with narcissists and pieces of garbage and a literal psycho broken boss bitch who u hate. they dont need diagnostics!!!)

"In actuality, if certain people with ASPD treat others in the same way as Ko Mun Yeong and Jo Yi Seo treated their MLs, it might lead to really terrible things. I know it might sound like I'm overreacting, but I’m just trying to demonstrate how depiction in entertainment can influence our lives as viewers. After all, some of the people who suffer from ASPD are a danger to society. "

it's hard to diagnose these things and most people do not get help. antisocialness should be distinguished from the rest if it is not an inherently destructive fire-y hell but it comes along with others things most of the time. so conflating ASPD with the typical names of it then that's gonna make people misunderstand it but if it isnt severe antisocialness that leans into the "dark triad" then....you have to depictthat. but narcissism along with that? Nope you're fucked.



they are more of a set of traits that appear and to be considered for these traits there is a negative component. disinterest is not inherently negative, so they call that 'asocial' i guess, and there's nothing inherently bad at being antagonistic but you have to contorl that. but antisocial carries negativity and perhaps we should go by adjectives instead of diagnoses. maybe if we talk about the reality of it but not tied to any very destructive malignant personality disorder or traits (psycho/socio/narcissism) which it often does and that's how these problems usually come to manifest to encourage people to get help. it doesnt mean there are terrorist monsters but it does mean that there could be negative side effects and there will be. often they are running in tandem with things like traits of narcissism or psychopathy but they are not interested in the spectrum and understanding that it isnt necessarily a diagnoses and it's hard to treat because the big point of it is not knowing you are a fucking terror and thinking your superior. if one was asocial and got help for what they needed and to function in the world, to understand more cues etc (and this may intersect with certain parts of ASD etc) but they do not feel superiority and negativity against humanity.

and honestly this just means these women were shitty people like they sucked lmao (but in the spoiler i have more)

GOD THAT DRAMA *_*

high school king of savvy, 38 task force, shopping king louie! reply 1997!

sweet home was sooo fun omg ur blowing my mind and how the hell have i seen almost all of this loser's dramas i HATED HATED HATED him in r97 unti; the end and now i'm a big fan lmao (it was HSK)

i love how he was like "im kinda ugly, kinda cute" like eys boy. i didnt know HSK was big; it's one of my fav romcoms EVAH. yea all these big name dudes like whens SJS' last drama that did wildly well? and conversely PBY's last two dramas (DAYS and then the other...one...) werent great writing wise and ratings wise. but SWDBS and oh my ghostess! sometimes it just is what it is. also i'm not sure how to tackle the clearly companies love money but shows and media "fail" all the time. it doesn't mean it's a total wash either. i didnt know HSK was popular like that but i fucking loved it. same with shopping king louie (i wasnt a huge fan) that shit is popular in small pockets so it's also a risk and a gamble people take. another thing is it seems like he may choose projects himself (which is good.)

this sounds good so oK! :)

tons and tons of dramas are made alll the time so i dont think it's that lol he's been working for so so long and ppl genuinely like him and more often than not the dramas he's in and his mark as a singer etc leaves him a legacy and even so with the no military (i <3 a bitch who doesnt go to a military) he's eccentric, kinda funny looking, and seems to genuinely have fun. he's not top top top but a) he's gotten better and b) his charm is just really really there. but he's way better than those others guys lmao. he's like 32 and has been working foreverrrrrr tho remember! it's not a concept of what just does well it's all the same these places want money so they make things in droves. maybe itll be good maybe it wont.

sometimes things dont do well even with the same people or top tier. that's a gamble bc capitalism. if you invest and it fails well then. it's a pretty easy concept; why does anyone get cast in things if they arent explicitly xyz. everything has the ability/capacity to fail and if you're a gender or sexual minority, color, size etc (in more hmogenous societies) then it's easier to lose it and there's a much smaller pool to choose from. but really that's...production anyway and investors will give mooney for well known ppl attached even if it isnt the best or generates massive profit (idfk how money on tv works like the return or whatever but) either way it's still beneficial if it is also not a joke in terms of the literal story. there's aplethora of things~*~*

he was in love rain?!??!?!?!

also agree all my fav stuff of his is the lighter stuff (like i do not like any of the srs dramas mostly cos idc abt the plot lol and hello monster was messy for me even on the onslaught) but man high school king made me such a fan that whole thing sounded like a blast to film and it ugh. i used to hate his face and then i was like "wow i saw the light UR SO HOT AND BBUFF" ;-;

oh yea and im excited and stuff cos hes great

honestly i have 0 things to say except....im single.

Think commentsrmeans is they didnt see change maybe? Or (in my case) i view it as more tension filled as OP puts it in their frustrations with certain tropes and thats fair

trash/na jung are one of my fav drama couples evah. also cute icon i like him a lot lmao

like: damn daddy you fine as hell i hope your wallet got condoms in it etc

this is fun as hell idc what none of yall say! omg but fr fr i have an insane fondness for this and i genuinely genuinely enjoyed ep 9 and i cannot think of anything bl drama related that has made me feel excited to be present and there's like an innumerable amount of technical flaws that i just wish these fucking shows would get a good editor but whatever. anyway this show is very good very nice fun and the slappiest of soundtracks for that alone it transcends

oh and i enjoy the pacing but hear me out 20 mins an episode over 12 episodes like i feel like this is just enough time to have all the beats we need. no not perfect yes genuinely feel good (this is why i go as far to say "good") also the acting alone pretty much propels it above a lot of things period

oh and........there's several cardi b lyrics i can think of that encapsulate what i think of aaron lai

oh and the two main women...(as an aside: so cute and hot) and all the other women it's like...they're actually people and friends. the bar is in hell but the y're real. humans. and women who get to be in relationships and object of one's eyes but not at the expense of a man or degrading their womanhood for even being near them. very caring, merci

ikr

that sounds a lot better hopefully it's a positive and not a pejorative

i want to say so badly not 88 but if it's true then that's some interesting writing lol but yea