The discussion about Karl's dance further down is interesting, but a difficult subject to discuss. You will have to be careful with what you're saying because you might step on people's toes, even though you don't mean it necessarily in a bad way. The same goes for people responding. But it is a good thing to respectfully talk about for sure. And think. You gotta think about it. A lot.
I'll have to admit that Karl's dance kind of raised my eyebrows at first too. When I compare it to him dancing in the first episode there is a clear difference. And it was so sudden. I immediately wondered: is that really how Karl would act? So fast? Would that way of expressing fit his character, or was it a poor choice of the director?
But you know, the more you think about it, the more beautiful it actually becomes. And right now I kind of think it is one of the best things that has come out of the series. And for Karl's story, perhaps a very good choice indeed.
For me it was clear from the previous episode ( Remark to Vlad that you couldn't see that he is gay, and I believe there was another scene but I can't clearly remember which episode ) that Karl, who was already supressing himself, probably had some lingering and conflicting thoughts about showing a more feminine side. I guess for him, showing more femininty, is the same as showing you're gay.
Obviously not every gay person is (very) feminine, and there are also straight people with feminine traits, but I guess that's something Karl still needs to clearly realize. Understandable, for someone who just went on this road of discovery. But you know, not really an issue for now.
I guess what people could throw off is on how sudden this was. Well, only during the moment he was dancing. For some it might be unrealistic. But honestly, for someone like Karl who so extremely puts femininity and homosexuality together, this actually isn't so unrealistic at all. If a person like Karl actually reaches the boiling point, and comes to terms with himself, and feels like expressing that, this is a very humane thing to do. When you're, like Karl, straight acting all the time ( or in other words: for him not even showing in the slightest way you're gay), this moment is like, pulling out your homosexuality ( your true self ) through dancing in a more feminine way. It's getting rid of the internal suppression that you probably have every day. It's that very moment all brakes are loose. In your own safe environment.
I think a lot of us do that. I live my life in a very under the radar kind of way as much as possible. But every now and then when I get home and I'm all alone I feel like putting on some Ariana Grande and dance with some wine in my hand, in my own safe environment, without anyone seeing it. No judgement. No fear. I guess Karl finally has that moment too, for the first time. And honestly, if you ever see that happen in your actual life (not in a series) with someone else, you're experiencing a very pure and beautiful moment.
It's debatable on how Karl would react I guess, but what he is doing now isn't that unrealistic. Anyway, not an easy thing to explain. lol. And I've been writing wayyy too much. Spoiler spoiler spoiler.
I quote: To put it bluntly: if you're not ready for a coming out, don't start a fucking relationship. And if you do, don't make it too serious like the couple in this series. It's just not going to work out.
There are always exceptions. Enjoy it in your teenage years, most of the time it isn't that serious yet anyway. And there are probably people out there that don't mind closeted ones. There's a lid for every pot after all. But if you've passed a certain age and you know beforehand that you're not ready for a coming out, save yourself and your partner the hassle. No harm in being a little bit reserved until you're actually ready. Of course every situation is different. But my previous comment really stems from the Tau-Otep situation and that is one I really would say: don't start a relationship.
I know I swipe all of them left when they say they aren't out yet.
[ I am going to spoiler this because it is a freaking long post ]
That's too easy.
When in a relationship, both sides need to be committed. Fully. While I am well aware of how hard a coming out is, it is inevitable if you want things to work out. If you don't, it will only look like one is not devoted enough. The other starts having doubts. Does he not love me enough? Am I not worth it? Doesn't he see a future for us? These are questions that will come up sooner than later if the partner isn't taking that step.
It feels even more unfair because Otep did come out. Because this isn't only about his co-worker. We saw a couple of episodes back that this is about Tau's parents too.
Now while I normally would agree with the above comment by LoveSojiSub51 that one never should feel the pressure of coming out, there are some things that have slightly changed the case in my opinion. Otep not returning to LA (for Tau?). Otep being asked by Tau to live with him. Otep actually moving in. If you're going for these life changing decision (for your partner as well), well, that just doesn't match with not coming out. You can't expect your partner to do this, while on the other hand keeping the relationship a secret. If Tau isn't ready for a coming out, this should've never happened at all.
Another thing that is bothering me is that not coming out is also telling the world you are ''available''. Sure, you can let people know that you are not interested in a relationship or that you don't have any time for it. But you will always be single in the eyes of others. It will not stop everyone from making a move on you. Not only are you putting yourself in the challenge of temptation, you are also putting your partner in the position of hoping you are not doing the wrong thing. Obviously, it is generally expected you trust your partner for a 100% in relationship. But if you're already getting doubts that the other is not committed enough because he/she isn't telling the world you are in a relationship, it will be a very stressful and hard position to be in.
To put it bluntly: if you're not ready for a coming out, don't start a fucking relationship. And if you do, don't make it too serious like the couple in this series. It's just not going to work out.
I would be hella pissed, lol. Introducing me as a friend? Bloody fucking rude. For years you are struggling with your sexuality, finally making the step of coming out, only to put back in the closet by your boyfriend. No.
I expect there will be people that disagree on me with this, and I respect that, and gladly read about it. But I have been in this exact position myself and for sure I am never changing my opinion on this. A relationship like that.. Never again.
I swear if they shot a movie in Bukidnon, with all it's beautiful scenery - mountains, horses (seem to be Brokeback…
It looks beautiful from what I can see on google. But to be honest.. Mountains, agriculture, pineapples and bananas, if you grew up in the capital it sounds like a total disaster if you gotta move there at Cai's age. Lol.
I had to look up where this place Bukidnon was. Boooyyyy, that's too far from the Manila. Now I'm getting the frustration. I know I wouldn't even think of having that kind of LDR.
I don't have any problems with Gav saying Baby thousands of times. But for Cairo, I prefer him saying Gav. I think…
Interesting stuff. I had no idea about that formality. I guess it is a cultural thing mostly then. But I'll have to admit that I get annoyed by the constant use of the word babe in the US too. At least, based on the videos I see online that word is being used there a lot. We have a couple of those endearments in my own language too but you don't hear a lot of couples use them (well, for sure not all the time), and if they use it it's considered as very sticky. Sometimes friends use them, but definitely not as much as in your language.
Enjoying it a lot actually. It's something different for a change. And it sure helps me picking up some Filippino words which will be useful for my trip next year. Keep them episodes coming!
Four episodes doesn't cover Akira's way of thinking. Realistically speaking, these doubts have been there since they started dating. So we're talking about years that this guy has been in his head about this in some sort of way.
Every gay person feels some sort of pressure from society. You are not part of the norm. I reckon that in a society as Japan it could be more difficult than the place where I'm from. They are unfamiliar with it. With that unfamiliarity comes limitations. Marriage is a great example of that.
That unfamiliarity isn't only on a large scale, it is within your own small environment too. Your parents, close friends, the rest of your family or teachers. They just don't understand it yet. And we all know that Asian cultures can give a lot of pressure. Pressure to succeed in life the best way possible and to not stray away from the norm. If homosexuality isn't being talked about and if there are no rolemodels within the said society, it will never become part of the norm. Not even a tiny little bit. In their eyes you are doing something that will not help you to reach the point of having the best life as possible. In Akira's case it might be even worse, since he has a sister who did go against their parents. The pressure of satisfying his parents might be even harder because he sees how disappointed they are with his sister. I really felt that pressure when Yuuki brought up to make things finally clear.
Another thing that's often being forgotten is how unfair homosexuality feels. You never made the decision to be like this. You never wanted to be attracted to the same gender. You want to marry too just like anyone else. You want to have kids just like anyone else. Life can really feel unfair these times. It's a feeling that is very hard to describe. It's like some entity out there is really laughing in your face. When he saw that kid with his mom at the train station and said how cute the kid is, or when his colleague talked about his own kid.. Yeah, I felt that. It's that longing for what everyone else has. Because that is what everyone knows and accepts. Because that is being recognized as having a good and stable life.
You will get to a point where these doubts will reach a boiling point. Akira's age isn't unusual for that boiling point. It's the time you really grow up. When you're getting responsibilities. The longing for being part of the norm becomes bigger and bigger. And with all the doubts that you have been having all those years it is easy to see your sexuality as just as some kind of phase. You will convince yourself on this. And you will convince that breaking up is not only good for yourself, but also your partner. Completely selfish? On the contrary. You usually assume your partner is in the exact same position with the same difficulties and doubts. And honestly, most of the time they are.
When an opportunity like that girl presents itself right at that boiling point, it is no surprise a guy like Akira is, well, almost ''seduced'', by it. It doesn't come as a surprise for me. It's that final try to get a life that is a part of the norm. The ordinary. Being accepted. No hardships.
I can understand where the hate on Akira is coming from. But honestly, if one person has been suffering it is probably him. For years already. I don't know how this manga unfolds and I am very interested in seeing how they are going to play out the final episode. I expect the episode to be limited and they will not be showing all the troubles both of them are experiencing after such breakup. But you know what? The truth will always catch up. The lie you have been living will fall apart eventually. And when it happens it will hit you so hard in the face. It's the time you need support the most. It's that moment when you finally realize that everything else doesn't matter except true love. I really hope Yuuki will be there for him if that happens, or that he will meet Yuuki again later in his life. If not, people like Akira usually fall into a deeper pit and it's very very very hard to get out of that alone.
I'll have to admit that Karl's dance kind of raised my eyebrows at first too. When I compare it to him dancing in the first episode there is a clear difference. And it was so sudden. I immediately wondered: is that really how Karl would act? So fast? Would that way of expressing fit his character, or was it a poor choice of the director?
But you know, the more you think about it, the more beautiful it actually becomes. And right now I kind of think it is one of the best things that has come out of the series. And for Karl's story, perhaps a very good choice indeed.
For me it was clear from the previous episode ( Remark to Vlad that you couldn't see that he is gay, and I believe there was another scene but I can't clearly remember which episode ) that Karl, who was already supressing himself, probably had some lingering and conflicting thoughts about showing a more feminine side. I guess for him, showing more femininty, is the same as showing you're gay.
Obviously not every gay person is (very) feminine, and there are also straight people with feminine traits, but I guess that's something Karl still needs to clearly realize. Understandable, for someone who just went on this road of discovery. But you know, not really an issue for now.
I guess what people could throw off is on how sudden this was. Well, only during the moment he was dancing. For some it might be unrealistic. But honestly, for someone like Karl who so extremely puts femininity and homosexuality together, this actually isn't so unrealistic at all. If a person like Karl actually reaches the boiling point, and comes to terms with himself, and feels like expressing that, this is a very humane thing to do. When you're, like Karl, straight acting all the time ( or in other words: for him not even showing in the slightest way you're gay), this moment is like, pulling out your homosexuality ( your true self ) through dancing in a more feminine way. It's getting rid of the internal suppression that you probably have every day. It's that very moment all brakes are loose. In your own safe environment.
I think a lot of us do that. I live my life in a very under the radar kind of way as much as possible. But every now and then when I get home and I'm all alone I feel like putting on some Ariana Grande and dance with some wine in my hand, in my own safe environment, without anyone seeing it. No judgement. No fear. I guess Karl finally has that moment too, for the first time. And honestly, if you ever see that happen in your actual life (not in a series) with someone else, you're experiencing a very pure and beautiful moment.
It's debatable on how Karl would react I guess, but what he is doing now isn't that unrealistic. Anyway, not an easy thing to explain. lol. And I've been writing wayyy too much. Spoiler spoiler spoiler.
There are always exceptions. Enjoy it in your teenage years, most of the time it isn't that serious yet anyway. And there are probably people out there that don't mind closeted ones. There's a lid for every pot after all. But if you've passed a certain age and you know beforehand that you're not ready for a coming out, save yourself and your partner the hassle. No harm in being a little bit reserved until you're actually ready. Of course every situation is different. But my previous comment really stems from the Tau-Otep situation and that is one I really would say: don't start a relationship.
I know I swipe all of them left when they say they aren't out yet.
That's too easy.
When in a relationship, both sides need to be committed. Fully. While I am well aware of how hard a coming out is, it is inevitable if you want things to work out. If you don't, it will only look like one is not devoted enough. The other starts having doubts. Does he not love me enough? Am I not worth it? Doesn't he see a future for us? These are questions that will come up sooner than later if the partner isn't taking that step.
It feels even more unfair because Otep did come out. Because this isn't only about his co-worker. We saw a couple of episodes back that this is about Tau's parents too.
Now while I normally would agree with the above comment by LoveSojiSub51 that one never should feel the pressure of coming out, there are some things that have slightly changed the case in my opinion. Otep not returning to LA (for Tau?). Otep being asked by Tau to live with him. Otep actually moving in. If you're going for these life changing decision (for your partner as well), well, that just doesn't match with not coming out. You can't expect your partner to do this, while on the other hand keeping the relationship a secret. If Tau isn't ready for a coming out, this should've never happened at all.
Another thing that is bothering me is that not coming out is also telling the world you are ''available''. Sure, you can let people know that you are not interested in a relationship or that you don't have any time for it. But you will always be single in the eyes of others. It will not stop everyone from making a move on you. Not only are you putting yourself in the challenge of temptation, you are also putting your partner in the position of hoping you are not doing the wrong thing. Obviously, it is generally expected you trust your partner for a 100% in relationship. But if you're already getting doubts that the other is not committed enough because he/she isn't telling the world you are in a relationship, it will be a very stressful and hard position to be in.
To put it bluntly: if you're not ready for a coming out, don't start a fucking relationship. And if you do, don't make it too serious like the couple in this series. It's just not going to work out.
I would be hella pissed, lol. Introducing me as a friend? Bloody fucking rude. For years you are struggling with your sexuality, finally making the step of coming out, only to put back in the closet by your boyfriend. No.
I expect there will be people that disagree on me with this, and I respect that, and gladly read about it. But I have been in this exact position myself and for sure I am never changing my opinion on this. A relationship like that.. Never again.
them, but definitely not as much as in your language.
I'll get used to it.
Every gay person feels some sort of pressure from society. You are not part of the norm. I reckon that in a society as Japan it could be more difficult than the place where I'm from. They are unfamiliar with it. With that unfamiliarity comes limitations. Marriage is a great example of that.
That unfamiliarity isn't only on a large scale, it is within your own small environment too. Your parents, close friends, the rest of your family or teachers. They just don't understand it yet. And we all know that Asian cultures can give a lot of pressure. Pressure to succeed in life the best way possible and to not stray away from the norm. If homosexuality isn't being talked about and if there are no rolemodels within the said society, it will never become part of the norm. Not even a tiny little bit. In their eyes you are doing something that will not help you to reach the point of having the best life as possible. In Akira's case it might be even worse, since he has a sister who did go against their parents. The pressure of satisfying his parents might be even harder because he sees how disappointed they are with his sister. I really felt that pressure when Yuuki brought up to make things finally clear.
Another thing that's often being forgotten is how unfair homosexuality feels. You never made the decision to be like this. You never wanted to be attracted to the same gender. You want to marry too just like anyone else. You want to have kids just like anyone else. Life can really feel unfair these times. It's a feeling that is very hard to describe. It's like some entity out there is really laughing in your face. When he saw that kid with his mom at the train station and said how cute the kid is, or when his colleague talked about his own kid.. Yeah, I felt that. It's that longing for what everyone else has. Because that is what everyone knows and accepts. Because that is being recognized as having a good and stable life.
You will get to a point where these doubts will reach a boiling point. Akira's age isn't unusual for that boiling point. It's the time you really grow up. When you're getting responsibilities. The longing for being part of the norm becomes bigger and bigger. And with all the doubts that you have been having all those years it is easy to see your sexuality as just as some kind of phase. You will convince yourself on this. And you will convince that breaking up is not only good for yourself, but also your partner. Completely selfish? On the contrary. You usually assume your partner is in the exact same position with the same difficulties and doubts. And honestly, most of the time they are.
When an opportunity like that girl presents itself right at that boiling point, it is no surprise a guy like Akira is, well, almost ''seduced'', by it. It doesn't come as a surprise for me. It's that final try to get a life that is a part of the norm. The ordinary. Being accepted. No hardships.
I can understand where the hate on Akira is coming from. But honestly, if one person has been suffering it is probably him. For years already. I don't know how this manga unfolds and I am very interested in seeing how they are going to play out the final episode. I expect the episode to be limited and they will not be showing all the troubles both of them are experiencing after such breakup. But you know what? The truth will always catch up. The lie you have been living will fall apart eventually. And when it happens it will hit you so hard in the face. It's the time you need support the most. It's that moment when you finally realize that everything else doesn't matter except true love. I really hope Yuuki will be there for him if that happens, or that he will meet Yuuki again later in his life. If not, people like Akira usually fall into a deeper pit and it's very very very hard to get out of that alone.