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Infernal Affairs 3
1 people found this review helpful
Feb 17, 2025
Completed 0
Overall 7.5
Story 7.0
Acting/Cast 8.0
Music 7.5
Rewatch Value 7.5

"Everything will be okay after tomorrow"

Infernal Affairs 3 finished the trilogy in an effort to tie up loose ends and weave another story into the two previous films. Honestly, I thought the original film was perfect enough. The prequel didn’t do much for me and this third installment felt like it could have been wrapped up in a few scenes at the end of the original. It was still interesting but far less cohesive than the other two installments.

Lau Kin Ming has been cleared of all charges in relation to the events of the original story. He is now on the trail of other moles installed in the police department. His prime suspect is the Security Wing head, Yeung Kam Wing. A new criminal suspect, Shen Ching also enters the picture. Along the way he makes use of Dr. Lee who had seen Chan Wing Yan as a patient. As Ming continues his investigation, reality and hallucinations begin to blur as he sees Yan’s reflection in his mirror.

In trying to build suspense and weave or rather jackhammer, a new story to fit into the other two films, IA3 copiously made use of flashbacks, dreams, and delusions. The back and forth, up and down, constant traveling through time and alternate realities was whiplash inducing. It began to feel less like an engrossing story and more a lament about killing off one of the most interesting characters. The overuse of Dr. Lee, one of the least captivating characters of the three films didn’t help. A few minor mysteries were answered, yet IA3 created a bigger one. Where was Yan’s “Broken Sword” (Hero 2002) facial hair in the flashbacks? Tony Leung’s face was conspicuously smooth.

Leon Lai’s enigmatic Yeung and Chen Dao Ming’s (another Hero alum!) too cool for school and shadowy Shen Ching were compelling, if unnecessary additions to the continuation of Yan’s story. The production values were still on point, but the point of the writing exercise eluded me. The original Infernal Affairs is still one of the best Triad vs Police films out there and like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way. These other films trying to pad the stories with extraneous characters and motivations didn’t make the story any deeper or better. While they were entertaining in their own way, the original was strong enough to stand on its own.

16 February 2025

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Infernal Affairs 2
1 people found this review helpful
Feb 16, 2025
Completed 0
Overall 7.5
Story 7.5
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 7.5
Rewatch Value 7.0

"Retribution takes its own sweet time"

Infernal Affairs II was a prequel to the successful Infernal Affairs, this time without Tony Leung and Andy Lau. Anthony Wong and Francis Ng carried much of the movie on their veteran shoulders. There were few surprises and less suspense given that after watching IA we already know the fates of all of the primary characters.

Chan Wing Yan is shown on his path to becoming a mole in the triads while Lau Kin Ming straddles making his work life balance with answering to the triad and his police boss. Yan must deal with illicit family ties and Ming courts death with his crush on the wife of his dangerous triad supervisor. Their stories often linger in the background. Officer Wong Chi Shing takes center stage as a cop who plays outside the rules in his efforts to bring the triads under control. When Ngai Wing Hau’s father is assassinated, he takes over the reins of the crime family. Smooth and soft spoken, his distinguished exterior belies his ruthless interior. Hon Sam is merely a flunky whose wife is the brains behind his actions.

Much as Infernal Affairs forced the main characters to answer the question, “Who am I?”, Wong’s actions propelled him head long into criminal activities for the greater good. At some point his conscience began to question those actions. Hau had no such qualms. He had anyone who stood in his way or betrayed him brutally eliminated. Hon Sam used whoever was around him to stay alive and move up the deadly ladder until one fateful decision causes him to burn the ladder down.

IA2 had the same high production values as IA. The acting was more mixed in this one relying on weaker actors and characters. Wong and Ng anchored the film with strong performances, though Wong was hampered by one over-zealous scene. The story was interesting but didn’t neatly align with its predecessor. The first film was so well made it was hard to take a step back to see how minor and supporting characters found their places in the scheme of things. I can see the allure of wanting to further flesh out the characters and make more money off the original, it just didn’t add anything to my enjoyment overall of Yan and Ming’s destructive journeys.

16 February 2025

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Infernal Affairs
1 people found this review helpful
Feb 16, 2025
Completed 0
Overall 9.0
Story 8.5
Acting/Cast 9.0
Music 8.0
Rewatch Value 9.0

"You choose your own destiny"

Infernal Affairs was a gripping case of cat and mouse accentuated by both main characters having existential crises over their paths in life. Starring Tony Leung Chiu Wai and Andy Lau in their prime, they took a tight cerebral script and made it shine.

Chan Wing Yan and Lau Kin Ming are both cadets at the police academy. Yan is kicked out and seemingly turns to a life of crime. Ming seemingly becomes an upright police officer. Turns out both stories are false. Yan goes deep undercover for 10 years fighting his way into Hon Sam’s triad while Ming under orders from the crime boss climbs the ladder becoming an Internal Affairs officer. Each seeks to sabotage their employers until it becomes abundantly clear to both organizations that they have a mole amongst their midst. The men are assigned to discover the mole, knowing they are the mole their bosses are looking for, and also discovering the opposing mole. Yan and Ming circle ever closer and closer to the identity of their cunning counterpart.

Infernal Affairs would have been a fine cops and robbers film as it was. What set it apart were the motivations and yearnings of the main characters. Yan was tired of being seen by society as a bad guy regardless of the suffering he endured to help the police and that same society. He wanted out, but events blew up making that dream unlikely. Ming seemed to have no such qualms for much of the film about his dirty dealings until confronted with who he truly was, and secretly desiring to be the good guy he portrayed to others. The honorable cop was disguised as a bad guy while the bad guy was disguised as an honorable cop. The emotional and mental gymnastics each went through attempting to determine who they truly were set both men on a collision course not only with each other but also their true selves.

The writing, cinematography, music, and sets were all stellar. Tony Leung and Andy Lau had great chemistry with each other and their co-stars. Even though there were internal conflicts, that didn’t mean there was no violence or gun play. The thrilling hide and seek was balanced with action and life or death consequences. Too many gangster films overly rely on revenge, double-crosses and gruesome body counts. Infernal Affairs excelled in bringing two compelling characters to life who struggled to stay alive and keep their identities secret while never letting the story drag. Each man became entrenched in his own hell with very little hope of escaping. Infernal Affairs delivered from beginning to gut punching end.

15 February 2025

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The Groin
1 people found this review helpful
Feb 1, 2025
Completed 0
Overall 3.5
Story 3.0
Acting/Cast 6.0
Music 4.0
Rewatch Value 1.0

No, just no

At first, I thought The Groin aka Between the Navel and Knees was another remake of Dangerous Liaisons, only in the how can we make it even more disturbing way. Still not sure if this was inspired by it or not. There’s not much information to be found on this movie, most likely because it was awful and didn’t make much sense.

Jang Won and Choi Min make a bet regarding who can be the first man to take the chaste Widow Yoo to bed. The stakes? If Choi Min loses, he must give Jang Won everything he owns, including his “wife.” If Jang Won loses, he forfeits his life. Both men begin their subterfuges in order to worm their way into Yoo’s life.

Fair warning, there were many, many sexual scenes. Most were not filmed or acted well. Apparently, in polite Joseon society, people had sex outside or in front of open doors incessantly. There was also a terrible sexual assault and flashbacks to it as if the first time wasn't enough for audiences. Several scenes featured bare breasts if nudeness offends you. Most of this film offended me by how poorly it was made. The acting was very amateurish, which did not help with two unlikeable male leads. The writer(s) chose rather awkward leaps in logic which made little sense. The production values were also rock bottom.

For the most part, it felt like the writer(s) had watched one of the many versions of Dangerous Liaisons and decided to f*ck around and find out how they could make a classic erotic story of betrayal and love worse, so much worse.

31 January 2025
Trigger Warnings-nudity, sexual content, sexual assault, and suicide

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Alienoid: Return to the Future
1 people found this review helpful
Jan 7, 2025
Completed 0
Overall 7.0
Story 6.5
Acting/Cast 8.0
Music 7.0
Rewatch Value 5.5
The gang was all back, continuing where they left off in Alienoid: Return to the Future.

What I liked:
I enjoyed the cast from main characters to bit players. They took great care in picking people for even small roles. The actors certainly gave it their all and most of the characters were interesting.
Much of the storyline was generic, but the trip to the past stocked with sorcerers gave it a unique twist. If only they’d tightened the writing.
The female lead was competent if in need of rescuing on numerous occasions.

What didn’t work for me:
Much of the movie involved chase scenes going nowhere to fill the time.
Another childhood connection story showing two characters were fated to be together. This trope can’t be escaped even in separate timelines.

Overall, the CGI and acting were decent even though it looked like a drama instead of a feature film. This was not an epic story, it was quite simplistic as complex as they tried to make it appear. For me, they simply didn’t have enough story to tell and spent much of the time going in circles and flashing back and forth in time. Two hours was too long for something that could have been accomplished in less than an hour. I would have enjoyed Alienoid/Alienoid 2 more if they’d shortened them to one concise film or extended them for a (very) limited drama filling out the characters whose stories were shorthanded and straightened out some of the messy writing.

6 January 2025

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The Fatal Encounter
1 people found this review helpful
Dec 18, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 8.0
Story 8.0
Acting/Cast 8.0
Music 8.0
Rewatch Value 7.5

"I'm surrounded by enemies"

I recently watched The Throne, a film about King Young Jo and Crown Prince Sado’s unhealthy relationship. The Fatal Encounter told the story of Sado’s son, Jung Jo, who inherited the throne when Young Jo died. “I’m surrounded by enemies.” That was a gross understatement. Jung Jo suffered numerous assassination attempts, including the one this film covered.

King Jung Jo has only one person in the world that he trusts, his clerk Gap Soo. The Queen Dowager is seeking to kill him along with the Noron party and their many tentacles. His enemies have hired an assassin, #220/Eul Soo as well as enlisting the powerful military leader, General Goo Sun Bok. Over the period of a day, alliances are tested as Jung Jo is set up to be murdered. So much for the heavenly mandate and divine right to rule.

The film started at the end and then traveled back almost 21 hours in time. The power alliances were revealed as well as the shady group that imprisoned and trained children to be assassins. Several of the children had been imbedded within the palace as sleepers and informants.

Hyun Bin gave a strong performance as the entangled king seeking to find a way to stay alive and to protect his people. Jung Jae Young played eunuch and clerk Gap Soo in an understated manner befitting a king’s servant. Jo Jung Suk took a nuanced approach to his assassin #220. Eul Soo wanted to quit and run off with the woman he loved but the king of the assassins wasn’t ready to let him go. The other performances were all a pleasure to watch as well.

The sets and cinematography all helped to pull me into King Jung Jo’s world. The fight choreography was among the best I’ve seen in Korean cinema. Though the king needed to have better trained guards. Eul Soo cut through them like warm butter. Something I learned, it’s best to bring archers during a rainstorm, old style guns were all but useless. #2-Hyun Bin had some marvelous abs showcased in an early scene. Thank you director-nim.

The Fatal Encounter had flashbacks within flashbacks but was still easy to follow. The pacing kept the story moving, never slowing down or dragging. Starring some of the most famous Korean actors and actresses, the performances were a treat to watch. I enjoyed the deadly triangle, square, pentagon…let’s just say deadly polygon that played out over 135 minutes.

“Do your utmost in trivial things. From that you can attain sincerity…It is only those with complete sincerity who can transform everything.”

17 December 2024

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My Mother
1 people found this review helpful
Dec 16, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.0
Story 7.5
Acting/Cast 7.0
Music 5.0
Rewatch Value 7.0
My Mother was a short mockumentary directed by Kim Ki Duk, starring his mother and himself. I enjoyed this short better before I read about the late director’s problematic history which took much of the delight out of the film for me.

The story itself is universal. A son calls his mom and says he’s coming over. The mother lights up and though physically disabled hobbles to the store in order to purchase ingredients to make a quick meal for him. Mothers everywhere with children at any age want to make sure that they are well fed and happy. Any time they can see their child as they grow older is a gift.

The director's reflection was shown in the mirror while shooting the film when his mother is in the grocery store. My Mother was a sweet short film about the tenacity and generosity of a mother’s love, even for a problematic child.

15 December 2024

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The Woman in the Taxi
1 people found this review helpful
Dec 15, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.0
Story 6.0
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 7.0
Rewatch Value 5.0

Nothing good happens after midnight

The Woman in the Taxi is the extended version of the short film 3:00 AM. Where 3:00 AM showed the ending of the grisly film, this film tells what actions led to the culmination.

A young woman is dressed up and standing at a bus stop seemingly in the middle of nowhere at around midnight. She is talking to her younger sister on a walkie talkie. A taxi stops near her which causes her to take a picture of the tag. Another man in a mask and heavy coat lurks in the shadows near a tree. In the typical fashion of someone who doesn’t want to overreact, she makes mistake after mistake.

As I said in my review for 3:00 AM, I'm not a connoisseur of horror films so I’m not sure how this matches up against other short horror films. A Woman in the Taxi appeared to be a lesson in human paralysis and denial in the face of danger. Or human stupidity often prevalent in horror films. If you enjoy true horror films this might be something you’d like although it was nothing original.

15 December 2024

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3:00 AM
1 people found this review helpful
Dec 15, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 5.5
Story 5.0
Acting/Cast 6.5
Music 6.0
Rewatch Value 1.5
This two-minute film titled 3:00 AM provided little context for the story and basically just showed the ending of the longer version of this film called The Woman in the Taxi. Based on an urban legend of the night cab, it tapped into the fear of things that go bump in the night, especially for a woman alone in the middle of nowhere at 3:00am at a bus stop.

I'm not a connoisseur of horror films so I’m not sure how this matches up against other short horror films. This film felt more like an exploitation film by excluding all of the story leading up to the incident which was the ending of the longer film. Better to just watch The Woman in the Taxi to see a lesson in human paralysis and denial in the face of danger. Or human stupidity.

15 December 2024

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A Man of Reason
1 people found this review helpful
Nov 28, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.0
Story 6.5
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 7.0
Rewatch Value 6.0

"Stay broken, that's normal for you"

A Man of Reason had a strong cast that was dragged down by a generic story filled with coincidences and tropes. Jung Woo Sung and Kim Nam Gil endeavored to breathe life into the bland script with mixed results.

Soo Hyuk is finally out of prison after 10 years. He has no desire to return to his criminal life, especially after he discovers he has a daughter. Chairman Park Eung Kook isn’t ready to let go of one of his best men and sends his minion Kang to observe him. Kang takes matters into his own hands and hires “The Washer” to take Soo Hyuk out. Things don’t go as planned when Soo Hyuk’s daughter is kidnapped.

The biggest problem with this film was that director and writer Jung Woo Sung employed tropes that were stale by the year 2000. Execution is all important when treading over old ground. It felt like he attempted to integrate elements from The Joker by having a psychotic killer and his even crazier moll stir things up. The overuse of explosives and an amusement park hideout were a little too on the nose. In the end, none of the characters were developed enough to care about.

Jung and his deep voice made for a believable reformed criminal if not a particularly menacing one. Kim Nam Gil brought the crazy as the sinister “Washer.” He also provided much needed comic relief. Disappointingly, Park Sung Woong and his long-haired wig only dropped by for a small supporting role. The Big Bad ended up being a whiny, incompetent, and jealous assistant. Kim Joon Han didn’t have the screen presence to pull off this poorly drawn character.

A Man of Reason had well-choreographed fights and car chases even when they veered into incredulity. Fans of Jung Woo Sung and Kim Nam Gil may enjoy watching these two spar and banter. Unfortunately, that’s about all Jung’s directorial effort offered.

27 November 2024

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Shaolin Intruders
1 people found this review helpful
Nov 27, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.5
Story 7.0
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 7.0
Rewatch Value 7.5

"Repent and turn back!"

Prolific martial arts director Tang Chia/Tong Kai only directed three movies. Having just finished watching Shaolin Intruders, I’ve now completed all three. Hard to believe Shaw Brothers only used him a handful of times as I enjoyed all three of his films. He utilized several well-known martial arts directors for this kung fu lollapalooza with deception, revenge, and secret identities galore!

Buddies, perhaps frenemies, Lei Xun and Qiao Yi Duo come to the aid of pretty acquaintance Ye Qing Hua when she is accused of murdering 2 of the 4 most powerful clans. Xun and Yi Duo discover evidence that fighters trained at the Shaolin Temple are the culprits. In order for Qing Hua to be allowed to identify the intruders she witnessed, the two men must pass three tests. When it seems the mystery is solved, the two heroes realize it might not be as simple as it seemed.

Tang Chia and Shaw Brothers brought in numerous stunt men and actors capable of stunt fighting. The six martial arts directors utilized numerous styles, creative weapons (bolo dice!) and formations to keep the action rolling, stacking, and flipping from opening credits to ending ones. Every clan chief had their own men and the Shaolin Temple was staffed well, too.
With the exceptionally large cast of bit players, you know to expect a similarly large body count.

Derek Yee played the stern and earnest swordsman while Jason Pai Piao turned on the charm as his gambling and vivacious partner. Phillip Ko Fei brought the kung fu know-how and speed as the Big Bad. Lau Yuk Pok who only worked in 10 films before retiring played Ye Ching Hua. She held her own, though one of Shaw’s other more established actresses might have given this role the darkness it needed. Ku Feng, a regular Shaw Brothers contract player, made an appearance as one of the doomed Chiefs.

The story was rather thin with just enough substance to tie the numerous fight scenes together. Jason Pai’s Yi Duo kept things lively and entertaining. Phillip Ko Fei often played smaller roles and it was nice to see him in a weightier one. The SB sets and costumes were always more opulent than their Taiwanese competitors and a multitude of stuntmen flipped, flew, and lunged through the walls and railings to sell the action. If you enjoy old kung fu films this is one to try. As always, I grade these cheap, niche, films on a curve.

26 November 2024
Trigger warning: Snakes. Lots of snakes.

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The Boys from Fengkuei
1 people found this review helpful
Nov 19, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.5
Story 7.5
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 7.5
Rewatch Value 7.0
The Boys from Fengkuei was a coming-of-age film from Hou Hsiao Hsien. Three aimless teenage boys waiting to be called up for mandatory military service move to a larger city and find themselves to be small fish in a big pond.

Ah Ching, Ah Jung, and Kao Tzu spend most days drinking, playing pool, playing pranks and getting in fights. Ah Ching’s mother is constantly criticizing him hoping to set him straight. When the boys have a brush with the law they travel to Kaohsiung for work. They are looking for independence and new experiences before they are called into military service. Hsiao Hsing is their cute neighbor with a sleazeball boyfriend who is stealing from work. Ah Ching begins work at the factory where Hsiao is employed while the other two friends seek alternative income sources that puts a strain on the friendships.

I enjoyed this film more than some of Hou Hsiao Hsien’s other films. The characters weren’t as remote and unknowable as in his later films. Ah Ching was relatable and despite his poor behavior in his hometown, he was more sympathetic than the other two boys. The teens went from being cocky fish in a small pond to insignificant fish in a big pond. They weren’t well educated and lacked marketable skills. All three faced uncertain futures and were still learning who they were as young men. Complicating things, it was the time of life when relationships were made and broken with friendships in flux.

The Boys from Fengkuei was an entertaining slice of life film more about the experience of watching it than any sort of compelling plot. It evoked emotions of a last summer vacation before adulthood kicks in and wanting a little romance and adventure, but not knowing how to manifest either.

18 November 2024

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Soul on a String
1 people found this review helpful
Nov 19, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 8.0
Story 8.0
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 8.0
Rewatch Value 7.5

"Men like us don't deserve a woman"

Soul on a String was an unusual combination of cyclical revenge and spiritual journey, fantasy and reality. Somehow, it worked…for the most part. Beyond the story and acting the breathtaking scenery of Tibet starred as the main feature.

“Treasure your new life and be kind to all.”
After he kills a deer, Tabei finds a sacred stone in the animal’s mouth. Lightning promptly strikes him. He is revived by Buddhist monks and the Incarnate Lama Zatroe. Because the holy Tibetan treasure chose Tabei he is tasked with delivering it to the Palm Print Land. Tabei will also be given the chance to redeem his sins and awaken his soul. Along the way, Tabei reluctantly ends up traveling with a female sheepherder and a small, mute boy. Hot on his trail are an enigmatic cowboy, two vengeful brothers, and numerous shady men who desire the priceless stone.

“The distance is under your feet and the road is on your back.”
Soul on a String felt like a cross between fairytale and reality. It could be hard to tell where the lines between the supernatural and natural crossed. More than one mystical being guided the characters to where they needed to be. While there were plenty of people who wanted to rob or murder Tabei, this was not an action film. The cyclical nature of revenge did take center stage though. Two brothers spent their lives hunting Tabei because his father killed their father in a fight. One brother killed several men named Tabei during his relentless search creating new enemies for his family. Though Tabei understood the brothers’ need for vengeance, he’d never even met his deceased father yet still was held responsible for his actions. As Tabei crossed the endless landscape in front of him with two people who cared for him, he began to gain some introspection and appreciation for life. All life.

“With a snap of my finger, I can take all of you out of this universe.”
Most of the actors gave natural performances, nothing too complex or nuanced. Without a better working knowledge of Tibetan Buddhism there were a few elements in the story that were somewhat confusing to me, but most of the story was easy to follow. The timelines were fluid and didn’t always move in a linear fashion. Because much of the action took place in the vast, scarcely populated areas of grasslands, desert, and mountains, where a person could die of thirst or hunger, something as simple as a Walkman seemed anachronistic. The cinematography showcased extraordinary landscapes that often competed with the actors for attention.

Soul on a String explored the useless blood feuds that destroyed the next generation’s lives and created more feuds for the continuing generations. Without being heavy-handed Tabei gained his redemption arc, step by agonizing step. Accompanied by a woman who cared for him whether he liked it or not and a pint-sized supernatural helper whether he liked it or not. I freely admit I may have rated this film too high, redemption stories are like catnip to me. 7.75 rounded up to an 8, on another day it might be a 7.5

“To turn spiteful curses into forgiving smiles
Let me understand others
Without asking to be understood
Let me love others
Without asking to be loved.”

18 November 2024

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Princess from the Moon
1 people found this review helpful
Oct 29, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.0
Story 7.0
Acting/Cast 7.5
Music 7.5
Rewatch Value 6.5

Didn't make me wax poetically about it

Princess from the Moon told an updated version of the thousand-year-old story, “The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter.” A supernatural “princess”, a sea monster, and UFO should have made for an exciting tale, but connecting to the characters was more difficult than I thought it would be.

A mother and father are grieving the loss of their five-year-old daughter when a bright light and explosion near their daughter’s grave draws their attention. The husband runs into the forest, not only concerned about Kaya’s grave but also to put out any fires in the bamboo forest, the source of his income. He finds a small pod that breaks open and reveals a baby, a baby that ages into a five-year-old in seconds. His wife immediately accepts the blue-eyed version of Kaya as a gift from heaven. When Kaya rapidly turns into a young woman, they decide to move away. Their traveling money is aided by the pod which turned out to be pure gold. Soon Kaya’s beauty is the talk of the town and suitors are knocking at the door. What will happen when her people decide it’s time for her to return home?

This story is right up my alley. I love fairytales, fantasy, and kaiju. Not even a guest appearance by Manda could pull me into this one. It didn’t help that the movie was either badly degraded or shot in a gauzy style which distanced me from the story. Instead of giving it an ethereal appearance it was like struggling to see through fog. Kaya came across as detached which didn’t endear me to her. Her love interest was lumped in with two other suitors and an interested emperor. The impossible tasks Kaya assigned them to test their sincerity revealed a lack of integrity in most of the noblemen. “Men trade honesty for an easy life.”

One of my favorite actors, Mifune Toshiro, played the reluctant and then committed father. “Her joy and sorrow are mine now.” Wakao Ayako made the mother’s grief at the loss of a child palpable as well as her joy at heaven providing her another daughter to love. Though beautiful, Sawaguchi Yasuko’s portrayal of Kaya/Princess Kaguya came across as stiff. Despite so much of the story revolving around her, I never emotionally connected with her character. The blind Akeno played by Odaka Megumi gave a more nuanced performance.

Even through the fogged-up lens, the scenery was striking, especially the bamboo forest. The special effects, however, were rudimentary for the most part. The sea dragon did remind me of Manda and with the movie coming from Toho it could have been. The final scenes looked straight out of 1977’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind though I give them props for doing a satisfying job on the space craft. They got their money’s worth as the ship was shown from nearly every angle quite lovingly. Throughout the film the soundtrack was delicate and unobtrusive. Then inexplicably Peter Cetera sang the closing song over the credits. He was everywhere in 1987, also singing the theme song for Karate Kid 2 (1986). Maybe he was in the neighborhood.

Princess from the Moon was a delightful fairytale that missed opportunities to engage this viewer on a deeper level. The second half was stronger than the tepid first half. I did enjoy the concept of a moon maiden growing up with Earthling parents and falling in love with an Earthman. I wouldn’t want to dissuade anyone from watching Princess from the Moon, it’s worth giving a try. For me it faltered on the emotional front for instead of being moved by the tidal tug between celestial homes for Kaya, I found myself reminiscing about Sokka and Zuko’s conversation from The Last Airbender, “My girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough, buddy.”

28 October 2024

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Golden Bat
1 people found this review helpful
Oct 25, 2024
Completed 0
Overall 7.0
Story 7.0
Acting/Cast 7.0
Music 7.0
Rewatch Value 7.0

Battastically ridiculous!

The Golden Bat was a film with aliens, a rogue planet, laser weapons, a spaceship shaped like a shark, and a superhero golden mummy with a serious overbite. The science was laughable. The costumes were dreadful. And this was 70 minutes of silly fun.

A secret U.N. space institute has discovered that the planet Icarus is on a collision course with Earth. The rogue planet is being assisted by Nazo “Master of the Universe” who wants to be rid of Earthlings. At the institute, Dr. Pearl is assisted by the studly Dr. Yamatone and Yamatone’s boy wonder, Akira. Pearl has built a laser cannon capable of destroying Icarus but it lacks a rare mineral. Fortunately for Team Earth, one of their spaceships has crashed on an uncharted island. When the team goes to investigate, they come across a sarcophagus with a mummy inside dressed in gold lame. Holy coincidences Batman, the mummy is holding the mineral they need to save the planet! Turns out this risen island is part of Atlantis. The tomb directions read, “Ten millennia from now mankind will face a crisis. Open this sarcophagus and I, the Golden Bat, will awaken from my long sleep to fight by your side. Pour a drop of water on me.” Pearl’s granddaughter obliges and the Golden Bat comes to life. All Emily has to do is call his name and he will appear. Team Earth will need all the help they can get with a planet barreling down on them and Nazo’s minions attacking them from all sides.

If you have ever watched an old live action Saturday morning show for kids, this would be similar---albeit with more dead bodies. Apparently, the Golden Bat is one of the earliest, if not the earliest superhero dating back to 1930. This GB was invulnerable, carried a laser shooting baton, could fly and had a maniacal laugh. The evil Nazo’s costume looked like a big mouse with four eyes and a mechanical claw for one hand. He had three high level minions-Jackal, Keloid, and Piranha. Nazo’s spaceship was a giant drill shaped monstrosity while his cruising around ship was built like a shark. Sonny Chiba played a bearded scientist who spent most of his time shooting his laser handgun at aliens and wondering if his career was what was being destroyed.

The Golden Bat was not a high-quality production and the science was scarily bad. But it was so ridiculous that it was funny. In order to enjoy this movie, you will need an extremely high cheese threshold. Like Icarus high. Or be high. Graded on a curve.

24 October 2024

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