Liltsu

Thank you so much, and for taking the time to comment too! ^^

Sei and Kazuaki edit, showing their emotional intimacy: https://www.tiktok.com/@bilily.bts/video/7468442153333853463

that's actually such an honor! and makes me giddy, thank you for taking the time and for me to get to hear your thoughts too ^^

Thank you, I'm so pleased to hear especially with the knowledge of your personal experience, it's also insightful for me and interesting, so I appreciate it a lot.

Just wanted to write down some of my thoughts on the series and take part in the debate about the act of cheating before the new episode drops.

First, I want to assert that I don’t condone cheating, and what the protagonists are about to do (be physically intimate with one another) is at least morally wrong on the part of Kazuaki, who is in an official romantic relationship with Kaori. However, as other people have pointed out, this series is a nuanced study of human psychology. Even if an act is morally dubious/wrong, it can still be comprehensible, or an act that can make viewers have empathy for the characters, as well.

I won’t go too much into the prior point because some of the comments below have already really thoughtfully explained why the protagonists are very undersandable in their actions, even if that does not justify the act of cheating. However, I do want to address another point I don’t think I’ve seen being mentioned as much, so I’d like to provide my own perspective:

Some people have mentioned that ideally, if someone is in a monogamous relationship, they should sort out the relationship before cheating. I agree with this, ideally that would be the case, where the individuals would openly communicate about the issues they are having and then either continue the relationship with a compromise/solution, or break up, and then the person can be physically intimate with someone else. Only, I think it is only fair to judge such a scenario on a case-by-case basis, where the specific circumstances are taken into account.

Kazuaki (the protagonist) and Sei are both in situations where they are extremely attached to the relationship they are in, and have been patient for a long time, hoping that their uncertainties and difficulties would eventually be met with an ’answer’ from their partner (either by the fact that their partner accepts to have sex with them or opens up emotionally about why they are rejecting them). Both Kazuaki and Sei have been very explicit about their wants but keep being neglected, to the point where Sei in particular can’t even address anything as he gets cut off or ignored by the other Kazuaki at the slightest mention of the root of the conflict between them (that Sei wants to be physically intimate/has romantic feelings and the other Kazuaki might be repressing any feelings desires, therefore rejecting Sei strongly). Likewise, Kazuaki (the protagonist) directly states he would like to have sex, gets rejected once again and even learns that it is possible that Kaori is maybe only in a relationship with him now because she wants children, and doesn’t have feelings for him anymore. If true, this revelation would probably make Kazuaki feel even more neglected and used.

I believe that the reason as to why Kazuaki and Sei choose to become physically intimate, even though they are rather earnest, is because they are at a point where they both feel connected and ’seen’ by each other, but, unless they explore it first physically or more intimately, it is too hard for them to really tell what they are feeling, and most definitely, would not be enough for them to leave their current partners beforehand (as the reason why they feel stuck in the first place is because they are too attached to their relationship, even at the cost of their own wants). Ideally, once again, both Kazuaki and Sei (upon these revelations) should either first breakup with their partners or at least state their intentions beforehand/communicate something in regards to this, but I believe that as it has come to this, the most important highlight should not be the act of cheating by itself, but how both respond immediately after the act.

I don’t know if anyone will agree with me on this, but I think of Kazuaki and Sei’s relationships with their partners as ’dead ends’, not because they are not salvageable, but because, essentially, Kazuaki and Sei are confronted with a wall (aka, Kaori and the other Kazuaki) that is unwilling to respond. Additionally,( and again these explanations are not to justify the cheating, just trying to show how it morally changes the understanding of the characters), I think that there is something very queer about the way that the cheating is taking place. I am not saying that just because they are two men, that it isn’t cheating, it definitely is, but it makes me wonder whether Kazuaki and Sei would really go through with it in the first place, if one of them was a woman. This is because heteronormativity influences how we perceive things. If Kazuaki was developping a bond with a woman, I wonder if he would have concluded much earlier, at some point, that he feesl connected to Sei (as a hypothetical woman) out of romantic feelings and therefore would have felt more certain in either breaking up with Kaori first/communicating it or keeping a distance from Sei, before anything physical happened between them?

Only, they are two men, and this is established in the beginning as something that reassures Kazuaki and Kaori in particular, that Kazuaki keeping in touch with Sei isn’t an act of ’emotional cheating’. We see this with how Kazuaki seemingly appears more comfortable with his penpal messages when Sei clarifies early on that he is a man, but also with how Kazuaki still tells Kaori so as to not worry her, and Kaori also mentions that there is nothing to worry about because Kazuaki’s penpal is a man. So it’s interesting to see how the queerness of the situation, of Kazuaki and Sei really connecting with each other on a human level, then affects how they are now going to lean on each other, not just emotionally, but through sex. It’s as if the fact that they are two men in a heteronormative society, makes it even more critical for Kazuaki and Sei to explore their growing feelings physically first before they can really feel certain of their current positions and make a potential change. Which is why them not sorting things out with their partners beforehand makes it even more understandable for me, and is why I am placing more importance on how they will then react after the act of sleeping together because they will then have acted on their suspected feelings for each other (and might come to be aware of how they truly feel for each other).

In my opinion, if they continue to have sex/a bond without intending on either addressing this with their partners, then that’s when I would say that the characters are being actively dishonest and deceitful. However, if they show a deeper understanding of why they decided to sleep together and therefore either intend on distancing themselves from each other (because I suspect that their attachment to their present relationships with the others are that strong) and then ideally honestly tell their partner OR intend on breaking off their other relationships to be together, then I can say that Kazuaki and Sei handled their situations as best as they could, and even if they should not have had sex whilst in a relatonship, their circumstances make it vastly understandable. But yes, the way they try to revolve the situation is key to how we morally assess the characters, because I personally see Kazuaki and Sei as rather dignified individuals, and that is because they are both genuinely giving, well-meaning and trying to be honest to their own feelings. The act of sleeping with each other in their context is still wrong, and a mistake for it to happen like that, but I find that those two thoughts are not mutually exclusive.

One last thing I noticed is that Kazuaki and Sei are about to become physically intimate not long after Kazuaki found out about the other Kazuaki’s identity (the fact that they have the same name). I wonder if, in the scene where Kazuaki steps out in the rain at the end of the last episode, whether he thought of the idea of even having sex with Sei because it is as though he has realised that he could offer to Sei, what the other Kazuaki is unwilling to do (have sex)? In doing so, it is as if Kazuaki (the protagonist) is taking on the vacant role of the supposed Kazuaki that Sei is wanting to be physically intimate with. It makes even more sense when you consider that Kazuaki (protagonist) feels helpless in his own situation, being unable to have sex with Kaori nor reach her, but he knows there is something he CAN do for Sei, knowing his circumstances. I also believe that it is not just that he relates with Sei and can do something for him that he wants to be physically intimate with him, but perhaps because he can be truly honest and be himself with Sei, a reflection of his growing affection or even love.

Phew, that was long but I’m curious to know what anyone else thinks and thank you for reading this far if anyone does~

If someone would like to see my interpretation of Minase and Hirukawa's relationship, i thought of making an edit using BTS Jimin's serendipity as a song since i thought the lyrics suited them so well, here it is :
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGd27s7hy/

Would be curious to know someone's thoughts ^^

thank you :)

does anyone know if the second ep is dropping today (in 20 minutes like it says on the countdown) or if that's just the domestic release, and the international release will be tomorrow? because gagaoolala says it drops on the 12th

I'm probably gonna rant so nw if no one reads this :>. It's specifically about Yoonsoo and Go Young.

The way I saw it is that Yoonsoo in particular struggles with internalised homophobia, and he is not only well aware of it but it is the root of every one of his conscious decisions. To be more specific, when we first get introduced to him, the show signals to us that Yoonsoo is a very charismatic and observant person: he tells us later, but he basically observed from the get go that Go Young is gay, and was correct. So during their first meeting, every one of his actions are intentional ways to get Go Young's attention, starting from how he drinks from his cup, to using that as an excuse to "make up" for it and take him to a café. I think his apparent 'clumsiness' is more like an amusing act for him, and I don't mean this in a particularly negative or ill-intentioned way. Just that it solidifies how aware he is of the circumstances, and is excellent at then directing the situation in any way he wants. We see this notably when he starts 'trauma dumping'. Yet he wasn't talking about himself in that moment, rather, he was reciting Stephen King's novel called 'On Writing', and was waiting to see if Go Young would notice.

That's why we see the shift from Go Young's behaviour, from calling Yoonsoo a "narcissist he has no intention of getting involved with" and looking extremely fed up when he thinks Yoonsoo is trauma dumping, to having an epiphany, when he realises that Yoonsoo is stating lines from a book. That's when Go Young himself mentions "Stephen King", and starts smiling and playing along with Yoonsoo, and is why he starts to think of him as super attractive, not because of his appearance but because of his smoothness basically. Another aspect that proves Yoonsoo's awareness in this scene, is that, when you think about, Yoonsoo invited Go Young to the café, yet intentionally doesn't say anything, whilst Go Young tries to make polite conversation for an interaction he didn't even want to have. Then Yoonsoo plays the trick on him, and that catches Go Young's attention. You can only do that if you have a strong understanding of how people think and behave.

And this carries onto different aspects of their relationship. From my understanding, it is heavily implied that Yoonsoo came from a homophobic household (with how he often mentions that, in contrast, Go Young, seems to have been raised with "love" /has the face of someone who has been loved, because Yoonsoo wasn't). Moreover, about the research thing, which is tied to the colleagues he runs into in the parc, it's implied that the "activist" group he's a part of, is actually an actively homophobic activist group (the type that organises protests against Pride events in South Korea). So it's not that he was in a relationship with Go Young because he was studying him, as an outsider, but because his work revolves around homophobic rhetoric, and that is why Go Young has the flashback to his mum, who shares similarities with Yoonsoo. Otherwise, Go Young would have addressed the idea that Yoonsoo only dated him for research, but i don't believe that is the case.

To me, this whole episode is about the emotional violence of having people you care about, spew out hatred, essentially (homophobia is a form of violence), to you. That is what is hurtful (it's why these two episodes are actually my favourite of the whole series in hindsight, and hit me the hardest). That's why, to me, the most violent exchange between Go Young and Yoonsoo isn't even the fight scene or the other cruelities he said/did, it's the sentence where Yoonsoo says "I hope you meet a good man...or should i say, woman?", because although he is indeed playing the 'bad guy' to break things up, he's doing it in the most violent way: the cutting pain of subjecting someone who is queer to the most vile rhetoric that a queer person is indirectly exposed to in their every day life, but which is now personified as a direct, resurfacing, stabbing wound. I think that's why I thought the suicide was perfectly placed right after this altercation, because it's due to everything Go Young has gone through, but more subtly, it shows you just how vulnerable queer people can be, and how much strength it takes subconsciously and consciously, to live in an inherently heteronormative society, even if there is "progress" along the way.

I see Yoonsoo as someone who is very aware of this violence, as we see throughout their story, with how he calculates everything he does, especially when he's with Go Young. When you think about all the events from his perspective, from the start, Yoonsoo intentionally chooses food places that are associated more so with guy friends / friends hanging out platonically, and actively avoids places with romantic connotations (like fine dining), he also refers to the club they go into during halloween as "barbaric" and a place he wanted to get out of (because the kinds of clubs Go Young goes to have a more liberated and open 'gay culture', and that's no coincidence). I believe the reason why Yoonsoo even followed Go Young there, in the first place, was not random. It was a conscious choice to give into Go Young just a little bit, despite his meticulous approach and homophobia, because he has real feelings for Go Young earlier on. He's too calculative for him to not have realised where Go Young wanted to take him beforehand, and this transpires in other interactions, such as when they're in the parc, and he places his finger on top's of Go Young's hand, despite them being in public. His romantic feelings for Go Young are very real, and it was never just for research, but he has no intention of letting go of his ties to his background, and work.

So when it comes to the point where he can only choose one or the other in his life, esp when he realises that if he doesnt it'll only keep hurting Go Young, he picks the former. But most of his actions are him pretty much in full control of where the relationship is headed, and you see this in that one longer sensual scene, where he picks up, places, positions Go Young exactly where he wants him to be, and is also aggressive (revealing a little bit of his conflictedness regarding his identity), but is passionate (reflecting his intense feelings for Go Young). Ouf that was long but hopefully not bothersome and if anyone does read this, that it was somewhat insightful or enjoyable.

*SPOILERS* Just wanted to write some quick notes i jotted down, cause i binged the whole series yestefay until 4am even though i was sick (hahaha....).

One thing i wanted to highlight is how emotional intimacy is represented in each relationship the protagonist is in, which reflects the nature of the relationship:

-the first relationship: polite, diligent and earnest yet formal so distant, there is more emotional intimacy than physical but they are not on the same wavelength. This is then visually demonstrated by how we only see their first kiss but no other kiss or sex scene. The fact that the love interest of Go Young died from a car accident from speeding also implies that he died from passive suicidal ideation (potentially), and we see earlier on that he displays signs of dependence toward Go Young, and Go Young had different intentions to him (it's as though they couldnt "hear each other", be in the same timing with one another, which is mentioned by Go Young in saying that he was "too slow", and thought that he was "too fast" compared to his love interest.

-the second relationship: passionate yet aggressive, the only couple for which we see a lengthy sex scene, there is emotional intimacy and even more physical intimacy (hints at the later violence of the love interest, not physical violence but emotional violence in how he's revealed to write homophobic papers and is part of homophobic activist group)

-the third: emotional intimacy that surpasses physical intimacy -> we mainly see passionate kiss scenes and quick glimpses at the physicality of sex, because the sex is only a reflection of their love rather than proof of it (and this is shown by how its the only relationship where Go Young is said to have abstained from sex for months in the relationship whilst in a rut, whilst still very much loving Gyu Ho, showcasing even more the emotional resonance of that relationship + the way the memories of that relationship cross into future episodes after their relationship ended unlike previous love interests, signalling to the audience how Go Young still has feelings for Gyu Ho well after their relationship as we see flashbacks of their scenes as though they were in the present moment)

-the last couple/relationship: empty, lonely and distant -> they have a purely physical relationship based on thrill, boredom and loneliness and this is most heavily showcased by the fact that we neither ever see them kiss (no emotional intimacy), nor have sex (even the physical intimacy is just physical activity rather than intimacy)
-> the love interest acts as a shell of a person even to himself, and to Go Young, he is a shell of a person, barely ever present with him, if at all, and is only a weak and ghost-like vessel of a partner who is heavily overshadowed by the clear and vivid memories that Go Young reminisces of, of Gyu Ho which reappear as they visit Thailand together just like they had before.


Sorry if it's a bit messy, i left it quite unedited. I wanted to show a glimpse of how masterfully the series uses sex/kiss scenes (or the lack thereof at moments) to demonstrate that the relationships aren't just about male-male couples. They're human relationships, that are specific to the individuals involved.

thanks for letting me know <3

Does someone know if this is being released in 30 min on Netflix or is it that it will air 1h after it has aired on TVN ?

Tysm!

looking forward to it, ty!!

i'm touched by your compliment, thank you sm to you! (and fun to hear that you find my interpretations correct). I've never really used tumblr tbh so i don't really know how it works, but i'm flattered to read that you think so about what i wrote <3 makes me want to try tumblr out sometime too

awesome, tysm that's very cool! (the GIFs you chose are beautiful too)

I'm so pleased to get your response! Thank you for the thoughtful answer and i liked hearing your thoughts 😊

And same for Tong and May!! My interpretation of their relationship is very much similar to yours so far. To me, the scene where Tong first reveals to Joe the truth about Ming's family hints at Tong's own intentions. Tong assumes and accuses Joe to be hanging around Ming, and showing interest in dating Ming, because of 'ulterior motives' (money), which we know isn't the case for Joe (as we know he wasn't even aware of the fact). As such, Tong's assumption says more about himself than Joe. I believe he approached May because of such benefits and how it would stabilise as well as elevate his position in the industry. May definitely seems sincere and has genuine feelings toward Tong, and I think Tong just goes along with it, and acts as the classic "ideal" boyfriend, without necesssarily being in love himself. I genuinely believe Tong is more possessive and stimulated by Ming's involvement, almost in a sadistic way, where he gets pleasure from knowing how Ming gets emotionally affected by his decisions, which are most strongly shown when he prioritises May over him. This is why he plays such a game of push-and-pull with him. He wont reciprocate Ming's feelings/date him because he gets more excitement from the feeling of being yearned for, but if Ming shows any sign of detachment or redirected attention elsewhere, he'll immediately pull back on the reigns and feel threatened. The biggest proof of this is his perplexed reaction to seeing Ming kiss Joe in the bathroom, and very peculiarly, we don't see what he said to Ming right after, only that we know they were together/some form of interaction happened. So I really agree. Truly, Tong's relationship with May really has more to do with Ming, and then Tong's own standing, than May herself.

I'm also very curious to see the changes that Ming may have undergone in these two years. It's too early to say for sure, but from the little that's been hinted about his current life, makes me feel like he may have become more grounded, patient and gentle like he was in his emotionally intimate moments Joe before. But we shall see how everything goes down~

And ikr!! It's really satisfying to hear that someone else also fully believes that Ming was drawn to Joe's acting, it's hard to say it's even subtle, and it's beautiful! I really like that detail.


Thanks again for replying (i very much enjoyed reading it) and for liking my long 'essay' haha, much love💜

Thank you so much💕 im so glad to hear, and same i'm curious to see where the series goes

Thank you so much😊 and it's similar for me, i feel very much fond of Ming's character because of that complexity and his sympathetic qualities

That's really kind thank you! (And for taking the time to read). I haven't posted it it anywhere else but I'd be very happy for you to do that if you'd like (would love to have the link to any post if you do share it💓).