jpny01

Grief isn't logical, and her behavior is perfectly natural. SHE LOST A CHILD. OK, well either you haven't experience loss or you're a sociopath who has no empathy, so pick one.

BTW, The only type of person who would have the sort of reaction you described above is a lost cause anyway, and is almost certainly not watching. On the other hand, every mother who sees this will put herself in Monica's place, and maybe this will help people react better when their child comes out.

Thank God. If I had to read one more sanctimonious screed against Monica I would have lost my mind. Monica had no time to process this huge and sudden revelation before what happened happened. She was already calming down after what Lawrence said, and I think she would have come around fairly quickly. Someone above is criticizing her for grieving!

Sandee was of course worse because she knew what she was doing was wrong - she made a terrible mistake and let her broken heart and jealousy take her over. But nothing is unforgivable (well, not nothing, but almost nothing) - people, especially young people, make bad mistakes. It's how you learn and grow.

You've never had someone you love die, I take it, or it would be impossibe to wrote what you just did.

She was angry because she was shocked and everyone knew but her - and Ken lied to her. She wasn't given time to process this because of what happened immediately. There was no hate, and Lawrence appeared to have moved her with his defense.

The way she behaved is perfectly excusable - it's your attitude that's not. My generation achieved the level of gay rights we have by educating people and showing them we're just normal people, and that we love just like everyone else and that we can be happy.

When I came out my mother's reaction was worse than Monica's, although veering into crying and narcissism (I've failed as a mother!) more than anger, although there was that too, and blaming external causes. But once she had time to process, she was totally supportive. I wish her processing had been faster, but it was the 80's.

It's like the child you knew has died and been replaced by a different one - until you realize it's not a different one, it's the same one, it's just that now you know who he really is.

You're asking for instant acceptance from someone in shock - that's more toxic than anything Monica did.

Sandee, on the other hand, knew what she was doing was wrong.

Wait, it's $12 per episode? I'm not paying $60 to watch a BL. Or am I misunderstanding?

Well, the title kind of says it. But in that case it was out of nowhere and ridiculous. Here it was foreshadowed from the very beginning and has the message that homophobia destroys lives.

Believe me, I know, I've been around for those 30 years, This is not 'bury your gays'. The gays are not side characters, they're the main characters, and there is no moral dimension to what happened, at least not for Ken & Shake. Plus, they're still main characters with agency, although somewhat diminished for obvious reasons.

"Bury your gays'" is an implicit message that the gays had it coming for their sins. Much like 19th c opera - if the heroine has even a teensy moral lapse, she dies. And that's what happened to every gay character on TV or in the mainstream films. Then we had to go through the tiresome "straight-acting" morally perfect gays - where Thai BL is stuck - and now finally gay characters can be fully realized.

This series is about how homophobia destroys lives. This isn't aimed at the usual BL audience, who want their fluffy happy fan-service, it's aimed at the general population and it has an important lesson to teach. Every mother watching this will put themselves in Monica's place - and maybe some of them won't react like Monica did when their children come out.

The Bury Your Gays trope is a moral POV that they had it coming for their sins. This is not that. This is a message about the terrible destructiveness of homophobia. Also, Ken and Shake are still important characters in the story.

No, she didn't. She reacted with anger because she was the last to know and Ken had lied to her. Finding out something like that is a shock and she didn't have any time to process it before "you know what" happened.

When I came out, my mother had a spectacularly bad reaction, took a little time to process, and now prefers that I'm gay because she doesn't have to deal with any awful daughter-in-laws.

Growing up gay sucks. A parent wants her child to be happy and not have to deal with a burden like this, as if puberty isn't bad enough already. Plus, Monica is the product of a very homophobic society - if you grow up thinking that way, you need a little time to shift gears.

Gay rights weren't gained because we demonized all the Monicas - it happed because we made them see that there's nothing wrong with being gay, we're still the same person, and we can be happy. Monica never had a chance to get there. She's frozen in her anger because of what happened. How do you accept what happened, a loss of that magnitude? How long would it take you to recover?

For Sandee there's less of an excuse. She knew what she was doing was wrong. But even for her, you don't always behave rationally if you have a broken heart - it can be consuming. Young people make a lot of big mistakes. That's how they learn and grow. Everyone expects all BL characters to behave like angels descended from heaven rather than like real people.

And this whole story could very well be a vision Sandee had of the future that can still be avoided. I hope not, because that would be a little cheap, but maybe it could be pulled off.

This show should have an high 8 point something rating. But it doesn't because the largest part of the audience want drama-free fluff, no sex, no tongues. I find that intensely boring. Anyway, in this series, the acting is superb, the writing (so far) is tight and meaningful, the characters are realistic, the cinematography and editing are first rate - that scene at the end of ep 5 YOU KNOW WHICH ONE was given a lot more power with that edit.

A story has to have, well, a story - without something to say to us (or rather show to us), it's just fluffy fan-service. If the acting is so weak that you have to depend on having read the novel to understand a character's motivation, the series is a failure. Whenever I make a comment I get "well in the novel, Boy X can't stop thinking about Boy Y..." I don't care. Show me, don't tell me.

For example, this show is meant to underscore how homophobia destroys lives. Mission accomplished. But everyone is too busy painting Sandee and Monica as Hitler and Mussolini to think about what the message is.

You'd better but a spoiler alert on your post or you'll get yelled at.

Nobody is saying that, and if they are, that's ridiculous - but so is the opposite extreme. This is a Filipino BL, where realism is predominant, as opposed to the fluffy fantasies in Thai BL. There's room for both, but there is nothing I've seen in a Thai BL to match this for authenticity. Sandee and Monica are partly to blame, but so is Ken, who essentially killed Shake by recklessly driving without glasses and making a phone call.

Nobody meant for this to happen, and humans make mistakes - the older you get, the more mistakes you'll have piled up in your regrets warehouse. Both Sandee and Monica have to live the rest of their lives with their guilt. If this happened. Sandee can see the future so it could be a vision.

Anger and denial are part of grief. Monica just lost a child - expecting her to just get over it and stop looking for external factors to blame is rather unsympathetic.

Aren't you tired of forumlaic trope-filled feel-good fantasies where there is no character development and barely any plot? That this is rated lower than a train wreck like Amore or the cloying and pointless Oxygen is shocking to me - especially in the former case.

Insipid Brokeback Mountain? Okay...

#2 could work if extraordinarily written, because we've established that Sandee can see the future and this could be a vision of an avoidable path. But I'm not optimistic that can be pulled off.

I hope you never lose a child and have to experience grief like Monica's - whose is loaded with guilt because she knows it's partly her fault. Denial and anger are stages of grief - it's only been two months. Grief takes an entire lifetime to process and it never leaves you.

This isn't that. The bury the gays trope is tinged with homophobia - this has zero of that.

Always watch this before Boys' Lockdown. If you do it the other way around, you'll have a bad week.

Sandee can see the future, so this could be a vision - but I kind of hope not. Unless the writing is spectacular, that's going to feel cheap.

Maybe - but the tragedy underscores how homophobia destroys lives and families. Maybe that's a more important message than having a fluffy cute shallow romance which will change no minds.

Don't you think "toxic" is incredibly harsh? She's lost her son! I hope you never have to face something that horrible. Grief is not something you just instantly get over - she's going through the stages, and anger is very natural and very human. She had no time to process the revelation that her one was gay because he was killed minutes later - and imagine her feeling of guilt - inside she knows she shares blame for his death. Can you even imagine what that would do to you?