swagata

The way ayden portrayed lu feng fear or distance from yichen in that one bowl of ramen was so emotional. The way he was just admiring yichen's face and his presence. The way he was wanting to speak something but can't because he was afraid he don't hold the position of anything in yichen's life and afraid he might leave or hurt him. He is just happy yichen being around yichen. This distance that the one u love is so close to u but yet so distant is killing him. He is learning to control his emotions and his actions. Not that he is not obsessive rn but he is trying to give time to yichen and wait for him. Ayden portrayed that feeling so well.

That being said idk how to wish their happy ending not with together. I truly want their happy ending but I just don't know if that can be possible.

Because I think if they come together yichen will still run and never choose lufeng once even slightest discomfort come. And lufeng will not let him go. Again that toxic cycle. Idk if that kind of ending can be classified as happy ending.

Trust me. I am tired because everytime u say something about lu feng. It has to come with a tag "oh! I don't defend his actions. I also hate what he did." whenever u are explaining or feeling lu feng emotions. Because tbh his actions are like that. But we do understand both lufeng and yichen's love and suffering. At this time I think i am the bad person to think about lufeng pov and his sufferings. Despite me hating him for his actions. You don't need to give this level of tag to understand and explain yichen pov because despite him being toxic it is getting ignored by lot. Because he is not that level of toxic like lu feng.

I feel like this series should have tag of " watch at ur own risk", "physiological thriller". And I also feel after this series ends i need to watch some cozy dramas complete green flag drama or rom com and at the same time reflect on myself because by reading comments i am feeling that understanding lufeng pov or his emotions means i am sick.

Let me tell you very honestly. I hate both lufeng and yichen and i don't want their happy ending. What i am saying is about lying part. He lied because he can't let go of yichen. Period.

About consent. I agree since this drama even exist. About rape i think yichen? No i am thinking as s human being. Rape is inhumane. No one should ever see a person who did this. That sight of rapist alone is enough to make one feel emotions worse than death.

Very truly said. That lufeng needs therapy. And yes shout out to the fact that this script does not handle sensitive topics like rape, imprisonment. Because there is no redemption of rape please. Even if lufeng goes to therapy I don't see him with yichen.

Idk if u have read novel. But despite these yichen still loved him and liked his presence. But this is drama and here also yichen liked and think about lufeng after this. Confirmation of adaptation of this feeling - when brother asked him to go. He thought of lufeng waiting face. That also is problematic for me because a sane person can't like someone after whatever happened in ep9.
So script is like that. That no matter what seperation, what atrocities and actions happened in ep9, whatever harm they did to each other and their family. It's the feeling of love that they can't let go. And so they need to be together which is problematic again.

Love doesn't give u right to do these things. Best case would be despite having feelings for each other from both sides after ep9 they still let it go and live their life just thinking about good times. Because they bring both good and demonic sides of each other. Better they stay away. Or almost friends. That's it.

God. This drama is too heavy for me. Despite the fact that I can watch toxic dramas.

Wow that's whole new pov I never thought this way. While i did thought that why yichen is asking? But i thought he is saying in a way " why? Can't i leave?" Meaning he do want to leave and is capable to taking decision without any thoughts of someone binding him. As an independent person who can take decision. I never thought in this way. But It make sense

Who said this?? Really there is someone who think like this? U know in my country law doesn't recognises that men can be raped and this is something I just hate. That lot of people are not aware of this fact. It's upsetting. I truly believe if there is no law how can one even come out with whatever happened to him. Unjust.

Lufeng hospital scene didn't made him victimise. Imo hospital scene during yichen coma was kind of lufeng saying I hurted u. That was intentional. I did those things because I was hurt. His first thought "are u ok" has that meaning like how when an acquaintance meets another after a long time. They ask this "how are u". But it can come from actual care or just s bluff . In this case, lufeng did has care but his anger was more powerful. He can't accept the fact that yichen let him go and lived his life with Zhou lan. He can't let go of his separation. And the fact that he was crying a lot in hospital but was saying that I will be with u forever and lifetime. I am waiting for fulfilling promise. It again confirmed that lufeng at any cost will never let go of yichen. Never. But what one can do? He needs to understand that yichen don't want lifetime anymore. Yichen was always the person who wanted to please everyone except taking stand for himself and their relationship. Now with all that happened in ep9 he understood that he has lost lufeng completely and he don't want to be with him. That's understandable after whatever lufeng did.

About brother lying part. Please here understand lufeng. Ik it's very wrong for him to hide this fact because they haven't met each other in years. But tell me honestly...there is one person whom u love so much u know hiding is wrong and lying is wrong but u also know that once truth comes out yichen will leave lu feng. And again the cycle of suffering and separation and trust me separation from ur love is torturing when u know letting go is not making his life easier. He is yearning him. Let me tell u are u forgetting the fact that in America lu feng suffered the most. He yearned for yichen. There was no one with him who truly loved him except his sister but yichen has his family during that time. Again in 5 years separation yichen chose his family and got out of situation but what about lu feng? He lost yichen again without any closure. He was still not able to let go of him. Even in near death situation of yichen, lu feng is just having one thought once yichen wake up they will be beside each other no matter love, hatred, together or not. They will be close to each other presence where lu feng can see yichen everyday. U see all actions of lufeng at one side( not ignoring or defending) but if u are constantly being apart from ur person and the risk u have identified..ig it's very in human nature to lie.
In this case i can't blame lu feng. No please i get his yearning. This much wait and separation is enough for one to go insane. I hope no one ever face this much torture in love by waiting, be together but still so distant, yearning and seperation. It makes my breath shake.

I think he did not call police because he can't as he didn't had phone. Otherwise he would have. He already had one time in hospital and one more time it was not hard.

About non consensual sex yes it was rape. But the moment he thought that he also missed him. That logic doesn't work with forgiveness and all it took him is just few deep kisses and lu feng calling his name with yearning to break all walls. After that when he saw camera if any further intimacy would have happened it was again rape. But thankfully lunfeng also was shocked and stopped.

In my def rape means when one of the party is saying no and other is forcing them. Whether have feelings or not. Confusion or not. No consent yes it's rape. So coming to ur ques was it called rape? Yes majority but it was not when yichen also gave himself to lufeng.

About stockholm syndrome. Idk. But in that moment no it was not stockholm syndrome. For a moment they truly were in a moment of passion.

He showed his whole body full of marks and bruises that he got from graping. He later also mentioned that "when did I ever became so merciful to let other see ur whole body" when yichen was in coma.

He surpassed the level of toxicity of fan xiao for me. Atleast fan xiao never hurted his closed ones or raped him. He worshipped you shulang. It just that he wanted to destroy him because of his belief that no one is good or bodhisattva but for fan xiao he was. Also he did let go of him at one point. He did repent a lot that he don't deserve to be with you shulang. You shulang deserves heaven and he hell. He acknowledged his mistakes.

For 2 nd point. Ig he did realised that what actions of his hurted yichen and i remember he did said that I was just acting out with boys. So he was aware of his consequences. But as per the novel, he was trying to portray why he did such atrocities. It was not a forgiveness attempt but "understand me I did because of this" attempt.

For 3rd point. As per novel. Yichen was with the man who controls him. But it has been stated very beautifully yichen's feelings towards lu feng. That deep down he did like the fact that lu feng gave him money to set up his coffee shop. He liked that lufeng was always waiting for him outside his shop no matter the sun or rain. Every single day he was there. Yichen did liked that they are walking side by side and lufeng dropping him to home. Yichen did liked that instant noodles bowl with lu feng. Yichen did loved that lu feng cared or showed worry when he was trying to do anything physical. He loved those attention. But he was scared also with whatever happened. He was scared of his touch and his before coma past. He did loved when during valentine day he showed gesture of love. That's why even when his brother was saying to leave with him. He was supposed to be happy but he wasn't because deep down he was not able to understand the feeling what is that thing which is stopping him to go with his brother. Why he felt sadness. Why he remembered lu feng and his daily wait over his shop. Why?? Why he was not wanting to leave him. Why he thinks that his life is not so bad rn.

I suggest u read novel for this particular thing. And the fact that drama also showed lu feng's image when his brother was asking him to leave and yichen's decision it confirms what has been written in novel was adapted the same in series in this part.

4. He wanted to tell. But his brother said that he would definitely won't go after lufeng which he did. He was embarrassed what his brother will think that he still loved lu feng even after this. Also part of him don't want to reveal truth about his torture because he wanted to protect lufeng. And that thought also embarrassed yichen.

7. Like u said some series are indeed hard to watch. Tbh i get u. Years ago I was in a situation where I have always been blackmailed, chased out for coming in the contact. Basically........... There why series dealing with this much torture unsettles me if not handled properly. Years ago I was deeply invested in someone who always gave me unclarity, one sided efforts from my side, not letting go nor clean break. On and off situation. Even to the point that my panic attacks and anti depression pills on the recommendation of doctor, years of nightmare was said that i am just doing drama for the sake of getting attention. I have been always lowered down because I wanted to put efforts in saving relationship. And this whole situation of yichen being toxic towards lu feng reminded me that. That's why I understand both yichen and lufeng their both love and pain.The past that I never want to remember. The feeling that make me feel disgusted by myself. So i understand it situation. Please take some time and watch on ur pace if it gets too heavy or leave it altogether. Sorry I got too emotional and said things that i have buried down in my heart that people have forgotten what I have ever go e through.

Aah. How I missed this lu feng who is showing him love. Handling yichen with care. It's like school days relationship era.

And one thing u might disagree with me here. Lu feng was not playing game. He was just soo scared to again loose yichen if his brother will come. He knew yichen will leave and he knew that yichen will never choose him. He knew that he will again not be able to take the pain of separation and yearning. Letting go of yichen is impossible for him. So it's not a game but he is trying to hide the truth so that he can buy one more day with yichen. He is protecting himself from pain. Was he selfish? Yes .

🤣🤣 lufeng was so happy that he forgot and honestly even i forgot that until the sec I saw ur comment. 🤣

Correct but gist is same. That I said in previous comment. Sadness and sickness made them age that much. So it's intentional with that makeup.

I can't disagree. 😅

Ig now that black flag era and the most hurtful things are gone. I can finally breathe and wait for the finale week. By that time i seriously need to heal myself by watching lovey dovey drama. This drama has ruined my emotional health by always making me confused whether to love them, hate them, want HE or BE.

I wouldn't say yichen didn't loved lufeng. More like he never spoke and took stand. And with all due respect please allow me to use the word "coward" for yichen because he is. Just want good relationship without doing anything. Never taking stand neveeer. Ne er choosing lufeng. I just hate him.

Fr 🤣

They are supposed to look like that. It was explained in the book. Yichen after recovering lost so much weight and always look sickly. And lufeng loneliness, pain, yearning and longing bas made them look much older. Aren't we also the same? When he got through stress and something bad ok our life we also look depressed, old, sickly. Plus in the novel they actually were in 40s.

Let me first complete the black flag era thing.
Yichen what right did u have to feel jealous about ke lo? Lufeng what right u have to say " what right yichen has to negotiate with u" it's his life lu feng. Lu feng did u actually thought that yichen considers u as family? If he would ever had he would have taken stand atleast once in his life. And if u have then lufeng family doesn't hurt each other and imprison and rape. They don't put their loved one down. They don't make them feel ashamed in front of others.i get it that u were so hurt that again someone was trying to snatch yichen from u. But for god sake lufeng he don't want to stay with u. Get over with it. And lufeng blaming only yichen about the condition u both are is completely wrong even u were responsible. Yichen u agreed that ur mind was mess. Then why did u took decision that fast? Is marriage joke to u? That if mind is messy, situation is messy, mother is dying but let's do marriage why? Because ur mind is mess and u can't take decision by communicating not that lu feng would have listened calmly but if that's the case why u just don't let lufeng go completely? What's with this on and off situation? Do u think that people's emotions and love is something that can stay and go as per ur wishes? As per ur life situation? And if someone just don't want to let that relationship go then u provoke them by not explaining rationale behind that instead say words that u know ur partner will not like. Why yichen?

See yichen loved lufeng that's why he took bullet without thinking. U are ready to die. Even in death you were remembering the school relationship days that it was soo beautiful. Why yichen why???? We viewers also were dying and suffering exactly because of those stupid loving and adorable school relationship days. The kind of love where you both were enough for each other. Where u both were willing to stay and work in the relationship. If u can't let it go then how can lufeng?? Because he loved you more than u loved him..it's a fact. U think dying will set u free but what about lufeng? He would have to see his hands full of blood of his own life. The person with whom he and u both wanted to spend lifetime together, be together. The one who has to see u everyday with the fear of loosing u to death and him also being dead while being alive in human form. Aren't u selfish to think that?

All both of u wanted is just a life with each other. Why it was so hard for u to speak up? Although ur brother was pushed he still now have a very happy life with qin lang. Wbu? Wbu yichen and lufeng? Are you happy yichen?tell me u became a good son, good brother, husband, good friend but a very bad lover. U can think of everyone except lufeng and all go about that u love him the most. Sorry u don't. U love him with ur conditions . If conditions are in favour of u then u will come back with him if not then just let go without explanation. But lufeng loved u unconditionally except the only rule is that u don't leave him. Which i know it's toxic but he just want to hold on the person who have him soo much healing and whol he loved the most in the world.

All lufeng ever wanted is to share a same space and a bowl of ramen to eat and just look at you admiring. Touch u, make love with u. Aren't u the same yichen? U also wanted lifetime and valentine with him.but why u always left him? Why u always ran?

And why in the world i am getting soo much upset and crying over and over just because of drama? I am also stupid to feel these level of frustration, pain, love, anger. I hate everyone in this drama but still can't hate lufeng and yichen. Aahh.

I wish they truly get their happiness just not with each other. Lu feng has now learned or still learning patience, calm. But trust me both needs therapy. Specially lu feng. Because he really was not a bad person the love for yichen made him. He needs therapy. And then both needs to go separate ways. Or if happy ending then it can only be being friends till the end if letting go is not possible. Ik for lufeng it's better that he die than letting go of yichen. It's impossible. But what to do? I can't see both of their pain.

Please tell me if today's ep is any better than yesterday. Because i genuinely need time to get over the sadness and toxicity yesterday's ep gave me. But i really want to watch todays ep.